Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I think it was Tiger (or someone) who posted recently about a movie or TV show that had a character that hit home and that happened to me recently. I never ever watch tv but I am house sitting in this place that has a huge one so I thought I would flip it on. There on the MASSIVE screen was this woman standing th...

tma0413 · tma0413

Hi...I am new to the board but have been looking for support somewhere.... My husband (I feel) is an alcoholic. He feels differently. Recently due to his drinking, he has some legal problems. I don't know what to do....he has slowed down on his drinking but my fear is it won't last long. I am lost......

desperate for help · desperate for help

I am so extremely proud of myself. I actually walked in the room and felt the warmth and compassion of these people just take me in! It was very overwhelming to be with a bunch of people that totally and completely understood what I was going through. Another newcomer just sat in the chair and cried. ...

maresie · maresie

As you all know the last few years I have been incredibly isolated. I am going to work this year on ending that isolation. I do not have that much luck in seeking out support. I spent last night on the phone with someone I met in the program. He talked about himself non stop for 1 hour! I would not in the past...

barisax · barisax

I'm spinning this off of another thread, where someone mentioned that their A said they drank by choice, not by compulsion.... I stuggled with that for many years, long before I went to AA. Deep down, I knew I had many symptoms of alcoholism. But I believed that "real" alcoholics drank co...

maresie · maresie

For most of my time on this board last year I was fixed on the A's health. He had a skin disease, a muscle disease and it was really flaring up. He could not work. I have not been focused on myself much. I did not focus on my depression, my kidney disease, my skin disease, my ob gyn issues. No all there was ro...

Chetch · Chetch

After almost 3 months sober my AH announced to me last night that he was going to have "a couple of drinks" tonight and Saturday night. He told me that he had had a couple of drinks last weekend when he was out with the boys and he is confident that he can hold it at that level. He , ironically enoug...

concerned123 · concerned123

Hello everyone. I posted my first post (Please Help!) 2 days ago and the replies I received brought tears to me eyes. It felt so good to know that finally after over 2 years of trying to handle this on my own I had found a place where people understood what I was going through and were there to help and lis...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I'm really feeling bad tonight. A sponsee of 7 years that I truly got to know, befriend and cherish died about 2 weeks ago, after a really short bout with cancer. He died clean and sober. He was a true friend in recovery. We worked steps together, did 12 Step calls together, went to AA and NA so...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I'm guilty of letting him drive when I know he's drunk. Is it something I could be convicted of? Am I legally obligated to call the police? What if he killed somebody, and I told the police...yeah, he was really drunk. I should have stopped him. I thought about it. I had oppertunities. He wouldn't hav...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

if having his Dad stay with his aunt is the right place for his Dad. AH left last Saturday and although it has been hard, there have been good parts of it too. I've been able to think through a lot more and it's been a great feeling to do little things (clean off the dining room table finally, study for my li...

mrcjschu · mrcjschu

My name is Becca and I am married (but currently separated from) an alcoholic husband. I have three wonderful little boys, all of whom live with me. H and I have been married for 11 years, together for 16 total. He has been a drinker since I met him. Heaviest in the beginning (college / just out of college y...

wantneeda · wantneeda

i am an alcoholic in recovery, i just celebrated my 1st year birthday. i have belonged to MIP for awhile now and often read your posts here on the alanon board. i appreciate your posts very much. At first i was interested in alanon to see the other sides perspective..what i had done to those i love and admi...

serendipity · serendipity

So, as my other post goes...feels like HP is punishing me directly. Which isn't how I think about my HP at all. Now, the excutor of my father's estate calls. He, the other excutor and the lawyer want to sit down next week. The estate isn't closing because the auctioneer hasn't paid us. So, I have been reci...

kikgirl517 · kikgirl517

Been a while since I last posted so I thought I would give a little update/vent.... things have been really weird lately, my A just got off of probation. (He was on probation because he came home blacked out and got physically abusive, at which point the police came...) His probation included random PB...

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((((((((((((((Carolinagirl)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you all the best on your birthday tomorrow! Go Capricorns !!!

bluecrow · bluecrow

Dear Friends, It has been a while since I have been in this website, although I thought of many of you who helped me with support during some of my darkest moments as my son battled with the disease of addiction. My son did very well for a year but dealing with sobriety was very difficult for him especi...

desperate for help · desperate for help

Hello all! Me again........ Well AH has not drank since monday. I know that it's just a matter of time before he starts up again. He said he quit just to make me happy. (read thread "Am I being mean?) I go to my first f2f tomorrow morning. I am so nervous about it, I don't know why. I guess because...

maresie · maresie

I am so constantly aware that I have spent my entire life absolutely overinvolved in everything but my own life. During the past few weeks a room mate of mine has told me she has written an anonymous letter to her son's supervisor's supervisor about the conduct of his supervisor. I have really really w...

Becky1 · Becky1

This past few months, I have seen so many people dealing with the death of a loved one. P. , lost his mother, age 67, she went into a coma in church and never regained consciousness. B. , her brother went fishing Thanksgiving Day, and was missing until a week ago, when his body was found. M. , her brother in...

serendipity · serendipity

I woke up this morning sad. Feeling really despretly depressed. I started praying before I even opened my eyes. I prayed and cried. My ex seemed to be heavy on my mind. My feelings and my confusion. Also, my mother and my best friend"s daughter. Just all the really hard stuff. It was just there as I w...

maresie · maresie

One of the core components of my codependency is feeling stuck and not having good boundaries. I have a room mate as you all know who orchestrated his firing in December. He really played a good number on being shocked the job he was in fired him after he took time off when he was told that was no leave. He...

maresie · maresie

For the entire year last year I lived with a gnawing feeling of wanting to be rescued. I really lived ate and slept this fantasy of meeting someone who would have a house, income, love, respect and recovery who would whisk me away from all my problems. I did not act on it as much as I wanted to and sat with i...

maresie · maresie

the job I am in is coming to an end (which is a good and a bad thing). I am going for an interview tomorrow afternoon for a job that would be better on some levels. They probably won't pay as much as I am currently getting but the commute would be easier. Please send up a few prayers for me that I get this one. ...

afglin · afglin

Have you heard the new song by the Eagles? It's called One day at a Time. ENJOY! LIN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9iIq3Tm44A

serenity62 · serenity62

January Business Meeting Minutes MIP January Business Meeting Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer. 1st thing on agenda is the current OP Schedule,which was posted. Discussion on empty chairperson slots were discussed. General responsibilities and requirements of chairing an...

concerned123 · concerned123

I am a new member and new to seeking help, not for myself, but for my long-time boyfriend. He has been drinking since he was 14 and it has taken him down some bad roads in the past. He has admitted to me that he is an alcoholic and has tried AA in the past, but eventually he decided that it was only a problem if...

omajoy · omajoy

I have been stuffing the drama of last week (EXDIL, grandchild issue, anger) down as deep as I can and doing small things. Dealing with spouse who is sick is enough for anyone to handle without the drama of the -ism, the son, etc. Anyway, here is the first update since EXDIL changed the rules on me: Tod...

Becky1 · Becky1

My AH and I have not spoken in 11 days, except a couple of sentences about my car which needed repair. All he does is drink. However, after not talking or eating meals together or ANYTHING he did fix steaks for supper Sunday night. We didn't talk, and I didn't know he was fixing supper, but he did. I miss m...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I have tried really hard to stop yelling and being mean and I am REALLY struggling with it. I'm not sure how to get myself out of this and I'm thinking I'm in a rut where I'm just spinning my wheels and fall right back into the middle of it. My problem is me and I know this but I just can't seem to get it under c...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Its my wedding anniversary today and I need your prayers and good thoughts. Its just so sad. My wedding day really was one of the happiest days of my life. It really was. But its like I bought a ticket to Paris, France and ended up in Paris, TX. somehow. Or worse. I know this is about my expectations again, a...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

really trying to get to grips with old habits and old responses and learning to own my reactions. The further I walk down this path of recovery the more courage I seem to be picking up. To date I have owned a number of reactions that I now see as being OTT or unhealthy or just plain fear-based or learned reac...

cindy1359 · cindy1359

My Husband got really drunk last night and was doing his normal yelling and name calling at my 16 year old son and myself. My son had enough of dads name calling and threw something at Dad. The object missed but dad felt that this was his ticket to hit back. He kicked and hit and pushed my son. Today my hu...

SLS · SLS

I woke up this morning and it seems to have run away. If anyone has any information about it, I would appreciate it if you would let me know. It was a line from Courage to Change, which is CAL, so I can't imagine that anyone found it objectionable. And, I would hope that if someone did find it objection...

maire rua · maire rua

Over the past few weeks, I have been so resentful, it is unreal. I have huge problems detaching. Ex-A comes in most nights p***** up to the eyeballs, I am not detaching as I should. Am on a diet and have lost 4IBs, he manages to put sweet stuff all around which I find hard to resist so yesterday I dumped it in t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My 10 yr old daughter absolutely adores her father. She is his greatest defender and protector. She is also one who likes to know exactly what is happening in her life. The limbo we have been in regarding impending divorce is torturing her. She has been begging for months now just to have some resolu...

kissers · kissers

If Mr. A. is a social drinker and after a night of drinking he hits Mr. B's parked car, it would be right to blame Mr. A. for that wrong action (hitting the car) because it could very well result in Mr. A. changing his behavior (because Mr. A is a social drinker, he could stop drinking solely because of the co...

round3 · round3

Sometimes I have really strong "how did I get this serenity?" days. Those days are such gifts. Today is not one of them. I have been writing and writing and soul-searching and soul-searching, and reading so many posts on this board...... just trying to understand my "stuff"...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I've been reading the posts about co-workers, and friends and real friends and so on. I've been thinking as I've been reading, "wow, thank god I'm not the only one in a toxic dysfunctional work environment." There's the awkward silences whenever I walk into the crowded break room,...

desperate for help · desperate for help

Alot of stuff has happened in the last two weeks with AH. It has gotten to the point that I just can handle it anymore. He gave excuse after excuse why he drinks. Finally i told him that he had to choose bewteen his family or the alcohol. I gave him time to think about this. I told him that he if chooses to...

Lani · Lani

Thought you would like this: What happens as we practice detachment more and more: "As our consciousness rises, our perspective becomes more and more impersonal. What does this mean? It means we are increasingly able to view our lives and the rest of the world with detachment. This does not mea...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am having a difficult day today. My AH has been asleep for close to 14 hours. He took off work last night. Needless to say, today has been difficult with the baby. She woke up earlier than normal and has been extra cranky b/c she is off schedule. Minimal writing done today. I am angry b/c I have such...

Mariedl05 · Mariedl05

I need some advice on how to handle my A BF's family. He passed away a few days after Christmas and his memorial is this Thursday. They have not included me in ANY of the planning and have been telling people all kinds of stories that simple are not true about him and me. The only one in his family who is ke...

barisax · barisax

Back in the early 90s, I had a rare gift come my way. My alcoholic father died long ago. I never knew him as a younger man - he was already in his 40s and on his second marriage when I was born. My father was, in hindsight, a teenager who never grew up. He could be bitter and sarcastic, smug and irresponsib...

barisax · barisax

After reading carolinagirl's post about being shunned by her co-workers, it made me reflect on my life and how I perceived myself and my friends over the years. I was a supreme loner as a teenager. I had no really true friends in high school. I talked to people plenty, about all kinds of stuff, but had n...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have noticed for me that the things that helped me were not things that he did or even things that I did but really just a change in the way that I think about things. I think the most important things for me have been to stop feeling responsible for the way other people feel. I remember being afraid to sa...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was thinking about it after I calmed down yesterday and I decided this really wasn't such a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, this completely changes the way I feel about a few people at my job. I had told my boss repeatedly that I wanted to go and asked when they were going, even tried to set up going. She i...

"Family" members... · Diva

Look...Look! The MIP family now numbers over 4000. Amazing!! Diva

souljoy · souljoy

AH woke up after spending all night sleeping on the sofa. He woke up due to the cat wanting out. He got mad at the cat and booted her out of the house. Then he tried to go to bed and the dog had eaten the foam on his bed. So he put the dog in the kennel and is mad. He had been up an hour and a half saying he needs to go to w...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A called this weekend and says he is going down South- running from something and to get a fresh start. Says there are no more fresh starts here anymore. Because of my missing keys I cannot post at home anymore, just wanted to take this time to ask you all to pray that our HP will guide and protec...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just came in from lunch and was talking to one of the girls who is in a similar situation to mine and she was talking about going out dancing last weekend. I have asked her repeatedly to go out and she always says no. Then I come to find out that a large group from work had a "girls night out". I...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Where have you vanished to?

Loupiness · Loupiness

Let's see... My a brother is sitting in jail tonight. I haven't posted about him because I have been so consumed with my own life, but suffice to say, it sucks! An engineer turned failed entrepreuner, he has a wonderful wife and 5 beautiful kids. A few years ago they were living such a nice life - a Chri...

Loupiness · Loupiness

... more than ever I am convinced it is just a setting on the dryer. Last night some friends (two couples) invited me out to dinner. I was in the process of making dinner and they asked me if I could be spontaneous. They had no idea. I was at thier house within 20 minutes! LOL! We have all been friends for...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

Made it through the night without him (AH) and was pretty productive today. Graded a ton of papers and did menial house cleaning that has been neglected. He called tonight and I answered. He wants to come home. He misses his family ( me and his 14 yo son). He feels abandoned again. That's the line t...

Alicia · Alicia

AH is going through a relapse after 3 years sober this time. This time around I am feeling just numb. I don't feel the drive to work through it. Does this mean I do not love him? The trust is gone. The last time this was all brought to light by an affair. I felt his sincerity in the desire to change. Wit...

omajoy · omajoy

Well, so here we are just as I predicted. EXDIL just called me and said in response to all my earlier NO statements: "Well, that's OK if you don't drop him off. Which night do you want to pick him up TU or W to visit with him from 3:30 to 7?" I said, "Well, we would like to continue picking hi...

mishka · mishka

I'm new here as al-anon person but am a recovering alcoholic - clean and sober since 1986. I am one of five siblings - sister sober fifteenish years, and three brothers; my older brother is a real out there alcoholic, my twin brother just does work and my baby brother does depression, obesity, food and...

david62 · david62

The agenda for tonights meeting: January 6TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE A. Updating to current status II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval from December Business Mtg. III. TREASURER'S REPORT IV. OLD BUSINESS (None) V. NEW BUSINESS A. Keeping Meetings Al-Anon based That's what...

omajoy · omajoy

Just finished keeping my grandchild for three days/nights while his mother went out of state to funeral of her grandmother. Son here to help us...no problems. Everyone fine. Last night EXDIL called to say the following: "I need to make some changes. I need for you to take _____ to school day-...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	self love (Preview) I think it was Tiger (or someone) who posted recently about a movie or TV show that had a character that hit home and that happened to me recently. I never ever watch tv but I am house sitting in this place that has a huge one so I thought I would flip it on. There on the MASSIVE screen was this woman standing th...	Jean4444	5	553	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	new here.... (Preview) Hi...I am new to the board but have been looking for support somewhere.... My husband (I feel) is an alcoholic. He feels differently. Recently due to his drinking, he has some legal problems. I don't know what to do....he has slowed down on his drinking but my fear is it won't last long. I am lost......	tma0413	7	526	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	I did it! I went to my first f2f!!! (Preview) I am so extremely proud of myself. I actually walked in the room and felt the warmth and compassion of these people just take me in! It was very overwhelming to be with a bunch of people that totally and completely understood what I was going through. Another newcomer just sat in the chair and cried. ...	desperate for help	7	664	Jan 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	Isolation (Preview) As you all know the last few years I have been incredibly isolated. I am going to work this year on ending that isolation. I do not have that much luck in seeking out support. I spent last night on the phone with someone I met in the program. He talked about himself non stop for 1 hour! I would not in the past...	maresie	1	355	Jan 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	The Choice to Drink (Preview) I'm spinning this off of another thread, where someone mentioned that their A said they drank by choice, not by compulsion.... I stuggled with that for many years, long before I went to AA. Deep down, I knew I had many symptoms of alcoholism. But I believed that "real" alcoholics drank co...	barisax	7	609	Jan 14, 2008 by barisax
	saving my own life rather than his life. (Preview) For most of my time on this board last year I was fixed on the A's health. He had a skin disease, a muscle disease and it was really flaring up. He could not work. I have not been focused on myself much. I did not focus on my depression, my kidney disease, my skin disease, my ob gyn issues. No all there was ro...	maresie	1	677	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	AH told me he's going to drink (Preview) After almost 3 months sober my AH announced to me last night that he was going to have "a couple of drinks" tonight and Saturday night. He told me that he had had a couple of drinks last weekend when he was out with the boys and he is confident that he can hold it at that level. He , ironically enoug...	Chetch	11	608	Jan 11, 2008 by Chetch
	Thank you for sharing my burden (Preview) Hello everyone. I posted my first post (Please Help!) 2 days ago and the replies I received brought tears to me eyes. It felt so good to know that finally after over 2 years of trying to handle this on my own I had found a place where people understood what I was going through and were there to help and lis...	concerned123	5	557	Jan 12, 2008 by Diva
	Sponsee of 7 yrs died, it hurts... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm really feeling bad tonight. A sponsee of 7 years that I truly got to know, befriend and cherish died about 2 weeks ago, after a really short bout with cancer. He died clean and sober. He was a true friend in recovery. We worked steps together, did 12 Step calls together, went to AA and NA so...	John	13	701	Jan 14, 2008 by aunitedway
	I'm Guilty (Preview) I'm guilty of letting him drive when I know he's drunk. Is it something I could be convicted of? Am I legally obligated to call the police? What if he killed somebody, and I told the police...yeah, he was really drunk. I should have stopped him. I thought about it. I had oppertunities. He wouldn't hav...	RainyJamie	17	604	Jan 13, 2008 by Diva
	My stepson asked me (Preview) if having his Dad stay with his aunt is the right place for his Dad. AH left last Saturday and although it has been hard, there have been good parts of it too. I've been able to think through a lot more and it's been a great feeling to do little things (clean off the dining room table finally, study for my li...	Lost but still trying	5	592	Jan 12, 2008 by Lost but still trying
	Hello - I'm new here... (Preview) My name is Becca and I am married (but currently separated from) an alcoholic husband. I have three wonderful little boys, all of whom live with me. H and I have been married for 11 years, together for 16 total. He has been a drinker since I met him. Heaviest in the beginning (college / just out of college y...	mrcjschu	9	623	Jan 11, 2008 by Heartbroken
	HELLO (Preview) i am an alcoholic in recovery, i just celebrated my 1st year birthday. i have belonged to MIP for awhile now and often read your posts here on the alanon board. i appreciate your posts very much. At first i was interested in alanon to see the other sides perspective..what i had done to those i love and admi...	wantneeda	4	537	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	I hear y'all (Preview) So, as my other post goes...feels like HP is punishing me directly. Which isn't how I think about my HP at all. Now, the excutor of my father's estate calls. He, the other excutor and the lawyer want to sit down next week. The estate isn't closing because the auctioneer hasn't paid us. So, I have been reci...	serendipity	3	304	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	What's new... (Preview) Been a while since I last posted so I thought I would give a little update/vent.... things have been really weird lately, my A just got off of probation. (He was on probation because he came home blacked out and got physically abusive, at which point the police came...) His probation included random PB...	kikgirl517	5	412	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	We Got Us a Birthday Girl (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((Carolinagirl)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you all the best on your birthday tomorrow! Go Capricorns !!!	Maria123	16	566	Jan 14, 2008 by aunitedway
	Loss of hope (Preview) Dear Friends, It has been a while since I have been in this website, although I thought of many of you who helped me with support during some of my darkest moments as my son battled with the disease of addiction. My son did very well for a year but dealing with sobriety was very difficult for him especi...	bluecrow	2	355	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling alot of anxiety! (Preview) Hello all! Me again........ Well AH has not drank since monday. I know that it's just a matter of time before he starts up again. He said he quit just to make me happy. (read thread "Am I being mean?) I go to my first f2f tomorrow morning. I am so nervous about it, I don't know why. I guess because...	desperate for help	4	529	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	Over involvement. (Preview) I am so constantly aware that I have spent my entire life absolutely overinvolved in everything but my own life. During the past few weeks a room mate of mine has told me she has written an anonymous letter to her son's supervisor's supervisor about the conduct of his supervisor. I have really really w...	maresie	4	491	Jan 11, 2008 by Jen
	So Much Death, But New Life (Preview) This past few months, I have seen so many people dealing with the death of a loved one. P. , lost his mother, age 67, she went into a coma in church and never regained consciousness. B. , her brother went fishing Thanksgiving Day, and was missing until a week ago, when his body was found. M. , her brother in...	Becky1	5	492	Jan 10, 2008 by gknee
	Why did this happen? (Preview) I woke up this morning sad. Feeling really despretly depressed. I started praying before I even opened my eyes. I prayed and cried. My ex seemed to be heavy on my mind. My feelings and my confusion. Also, my mother and my best friend"s daughter. Just all the really hard stuff. It was just there as I w...	serendipity	9	560	Jan 10, 2008 by nmike
	moving away from rather than towards (Preview) One of the core components of my codependency is feeling stuck and not having good boundaries. I have a room mate as you all know who orchestrated his firing in December. He really played a good number on being shocked the job he was in fired him after he took time off when he was told that was no leave. He...	maresie	1	445	Jan 10, 2008 by Jen
	Cravings disappeared (Preview) For the entire year last year I lived with a gnawing feeling of wanting to be rescued. I really lived ate and slept this fantasy of meeting someone who would have a house, income, love, respect and recovery who would whisk me away from all my problems. I did not act on it as much as I wanted to and sat with i...	maresie	4	248	Jan 11, 2008 by maresie
	prayers needed interview tomorrow afternoon. (Preview) the job I am in is coming to an end (which is a good and a bad thing). I am going for an interview tomorrow afternoon for a job that would be better on some levels. They probably won't pay as much as I am currently getting but the commute would be easier. Please send up a few prayers for me that I get this one. ...	maresie	4	684	Jan 10, 2008 by carolinagirl
	song-One day at a Time (Preview) Have you heard the new song by the Eagles? It's called One day at a Time. ENJOY! LIN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9iIq3Tm44A	afglin	2	252	Jan 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	January Business Meeting Minutes: (Preview) January Business Meeting Minutes MIP January Business Meeting Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer. 1st thing on agenda is the current OP Schedule,which was posted. Discussion on empty chairperson slots were discussed. General responsibilities and requirements of chairing an...	serenity62	0	262	Jan 10, 2008 by serenity62
	Please Help! (Preview) I am a new member and new to seeking help, not for myself, but for my long-time boyfriend. He has been drinking since he was 14 and it has taken him down some bad roads in the past. He has admitted to me that he is an alcoholic and has tried AA in the past, but eventually he decided that it was only a problem if...	concerned123	6	548	Jan 10, 2008 by desperate for help
	stuffing the drama (Preview) I have been stuffing the drama of last week (EXDIL, grandchild issue, anger) down as deep as I can and doing small things. Dealing with spouse who is sick is enough for anyone to handle without the drama of the -ism, the son, etc. Anyway, here is the first update since EXDIL changed the rules on me: Tod...	omajoy	8	576	Jan 10, 2008 by omajoy
	Omnia Vincit Amor (Preview) My AH and I have not spoken in 11 days, except a couple of sentences about my car which needed repair. All he does is drink. However, after not talking or eating meals together or ANYTHING he did fix steaks for supper Sunday night. We didn't talk, and I didn't know he was fixing supper, but he did. I miss m...	Becky1	7	2053	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	Still having problems with myself and my kids (Preview) So I have tried really hard to stop yelling and being mean and I am REALLY struggling with it. I'm not sure how to get myself out of this and I'm thinking I'm in a rut where I'm just spinning my wheels and fall right back into the middle of it. My problem is me and I know this but I just can't seem to get it under c...	carolinagirl	8	780	Jan 11, 2008 by Loupiness
	Wedding Anniversary (Preview) Its my wedding anniversary today and I need your prayers and good thoughts. Its just so sad. My wedding day really was one of the happiest days of my life. It really was. But its like I bought a ticket to Paris, France and ended up in Paris, TX. somehow. Or worse. I know this is about my expectations again, a...	Jean4444	10	410	Jan 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Owning my reactions... (Preview) really trying to get to grips with old habits and old responses and learning to own my reactions. The further I walk down this path of recovery the more courage I seem to be picking up. To date I have owned a number of reactions that I now see as being OTT or unhealthy or just plain fear-based or learned reac...	Heartbroken	1	377	Jan 10, 2008 by Jen
	I am looking for words of wisdom (Preview) My Husband got really drunk last night and was doing his normal yelling and name calling at my 16 year old son and myself. My son had enough of dads name calling and threw something at Dad. The object missed but dad felt that this was his ticket to hit back. He kicked and hit and pushed my son. Today my hu...	cindy1359	12	409	Jan 10, 2008 by maresie
	Has anyone seen my signature, I think it ran away.... (Preview) I woke up this morning and it seems to have run away. If anyone has any information about it, I would appreciate it if you would let me know. It was a line from Courage to Change, which is CAL, so I can't imagine that anyone found it objectionable. And, I would hope that if someone did find it objection...	SLS	3	465	Jan 9, 2008 by Jen
	feeling so resentful (Preview) Over the past few weeks, I have been so resentful, it is unreal. I have huge problems detaching. Ex-A comes in most nights p***** up to the eyeballs, I am not detaching as I should. Am on a diet and have lost 4IBs, he manages to put sweet stuff all around which I find hard to resist so yesterday I dumped it in t...	maire rua	3	256	Jan 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	Breaks my heart! (Preview) My 10 yr old daughter absolutely adores her father. She is his greatest defender and protector. She is also one who likes to know exactly what is happening in her life. The limbo we have been in regarding impending divorce is torturing her. She has been begging for months now just to have some resolu...	Loupiness	7	340	Jan 14, 2008 by maz
	Now I understand but it still doesn't take away the anger and hurt (Preview) If Mr. A. is a social drinker and after a night of drinking he hits Mr. B's parked car, it would be right to blame Mr. A. for that wrong action (hitting the car) because it could very well result in Mr. A. changing his behavior (because Mr. A is a social drinker, he could stop drinking solely because of the co...	kissers	2	408	Jan 9, 2008 by Jen
	Overcome or Accept? (Preview) Sometimes I have really strong "how did I get this serenity?" days. Those days are such gifts. Today is not one of them. I have been writing and writing and soul-searching and soul-searching, and reading so many posts on this board...... just trying to understand my "stuff"...	round3	7	323	Jan 9, 2008 by round3
	posts past couple of days re work (Preview) I've been reading the posts about co-workers, and friends and real friends and so on. I've been thinking as I've been reading, "wow, thank god I'm not the only one in a toxic dysfunctional work environment." There's the awkward silences whenever I walk into the crowded break room,...	Tiger2006	5	557	Jan 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	Am I being mean? (Preview) Alot of stuff has happened in the last two weeks with AH. It has gotten to the point that I just can handle it anymore. He gave excuse after excuse why he drinks. Finally i told him that he had to choose bewteen his family or the alcohol. I gave him time to think about this. I told him that he if chooses to...	desperate for help	20	621	Jan 10, 2008 by optimistundone
	PRACTICE DETACHMENT (Preview) Thought you would like this: What happens as we practice detachment more and more: "As our consciousness rises, our perspective becomes more and more impersonal. What does this mean? It means we are increasingly able to view our lives and the rest of the world with detachment. This does not mea...	Lani	3	347	Jan 10, 2008 by Codependent
	Expectations and Anger (Preview) I am having a difficult day today. My AH has been asleep for close to 14 hours. He took off work last night. Needless to say, today has been difficult with the baby. She woke up earlier than normal and has been extra cranky b/c she is off schedule. Minimal writing done today. I am angry b/c I have such...	optimistundone	7	489	Jan 8, 2008 by possible future
	Conflict with family (Preview) I need some advice on how to handle my A BF's family. He passed away a few days after Christmas and his memorial is this Thursday. They have not included me in ANY of the planning and have been telling people all kinds of stories that simple are not true about him and me. The only one in his family who is ke...	Mariedl05	7	480	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	My Crazy Uncle (Preview) Back in the early 90s, I had a rare gift come my way. My alcoholic father died long ago. I never knew him as a younger man - he was already in his 40s and on his second marriage when I was born. My father was, in hindsight, a teenager who never grew up. He could be bitter and sarcastic, smug and irresponsib...	barisax	3	418	Jan 8, 2008 by round3
	Being Somebody (Preview) After reading carolinagirl's post about being shunned by her co-workers, it made me reflect on my life and how I perceived myself and my friends over the years. I was a supreme loner as a teenager. I had no really true friends in high school. I talked to people plenty, about all kinds of stuff, but had n...	barisax	3	338	Jan 12, 2008 by maresie
	The way we think about things. (Preview) I have noticed for me that the things that helped me were not things that he did or even things that I did but really just a change in the way that I think about things. I think the most important things for me have been to stop feeling responsible for the way other people feel. I remember being afraid to sa...	carolinagirl	5	537	Jan 8, 2008 by Jen
	You know what? (Preview) I was thinking about it after I calmed down yesterday and I decided this really wasn't such a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, this completely changes the way I feel about a few people at my job. I had told my boss repeatedly that I wanted to go and asked when they were going, even tried to set up going. She i...	carolinagirl	4	504	Jan 8, 2008 by Jen
	"Family" members... (Preview) Look...Look! The MIP family now numbers over 4000. Amazing!! Diva	Diva	7	385	Jan 10, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Not Sure What to do (Preview) AH woke up after spending all night sleeping on the sofa. He woke up due to the cat wanting out. He got mad at the cat and booted her out of the house. Then he tried to go to bed and the dog had eaten the foam on his bed. So he put the dog in the kennel and is mad. He had been up an hour and a half saying he needs to go to w...	souljoy	4	508	Jan 8, 2008 by debilyn
	He says he is leavin...please pray (Preview) Well, the A called this weekend and says he is going down South- running from something and to get a fresh start. Says there are no more fresh starts here anymore. Because of my missing keys I cannot post at home anymore, just wanted to take this time to ask you all to pray that our HP will guide and protec...	Codependent	10	730	Jan 8, 2008 by Codependent
	I'm really hurt right now (Preview) I just came in from lunch and was talking to one of the girls who is in a similar situation to mine and she was talking about going out dancing last weekend. I have asked her repeatedly to go out and she always says no. Then I come to find out that a large group from work had a "girls night out". I...	carolinagirl	11	624	Jan 8, 2008 by DD
	Kim 65 (Preview) Where have you vanished to?	carolinagirl	5	657	Jan 8, 2008 by Jen
	What a night! (Preview) Let's see... My a brother is sitting in jail tonight. I haven't posted about him because I have been so consumed with my own life, but suffice to say, it sucks! An engineer turned failed entrepreuner, he has a wonderful wife and 5 beautiful kids. A few years ago they were living such a nice life - a Chri...	Loupiness	3	490	Jan 7, 2008 by serendipity
	What is normal anyhow? (Preview) ... more than ever I am convinced it is just a setting on the dryer. Last night some friends (two couples) invited me out to dinner. I was in the process of making dinner and they asked me if I could be spontaneous. They had no idea. I was at thier house within 20 minutes! LOL! We have all been friends for...	Loupiness	4	407	Jan 7, 2008 by gknee
	He says he feels abandoned (Preview) Made it through the night without him (AH) and was pretty productive today. Graded a ton of papers and did menial house cleaning that has been neglected. He called tonight and I answered. He wants to come home. He misses his family ( me and his 14 yo son). He feels abandoned again. That's the line t...	Lost but still trying	7	709	Jan 7, 2008 by gknee
	Have I fallen out of love with him...or is it the alcoholism (Preview) AH is going through a relapse after 3 years sober this time. This time around I am feeling just numb. I don't feel the drive to work through it. Does this mean I do not love him? The trust is gone. The last time this was all brought to light by an affair. I felt his sincerity in the desire to change. Wit...	Alicia	7	653	Jan 7, 2008 by Alicia
	drama outcome---not good (Preview) Well, so here we are just as I predicted. EXDIL just called me and said in response to all my earlier NO statements: "Well, that's OK if you don't drop him off. Which night do you want to pick him up TU or W to visit with him from 3:30 to 7?" I said, "Well, we would like to continue picking hi...	omajoy	10	508	Jan 8, 2008 by greta
	new/hurting. (Preview) I'm new here as al-anon person but am a recovering alcoholic - clean and sober since 1986. I am one of five siblings - sister sober fifteenish years, and three brothers; my older brother is a real out there alcoholic, my twin brother just does work and my baby brother does depression, obesity, food and...	mishka	5	699	Jan 7, 2008 by mishka
	Business Meeting Tonight - 9 pm EST (Preview) The agenda for tonights meeting: January 6TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE A. Updating to current status II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval from December Business Mtg. III. TREASURER'S REPORT IV. OLD BUSINESS (None) V. NEW BUSINESS A. Keeping Meetings Al-Anon based That's what...	david62	0	294	Jan 6, 2008 by david62
	drama continues (Preview) Just finished keeping my grandchild for three days/nights while his mother went out of state to funeral of her grandmother. Son here to help us...no problems. Everyone fine. Last night EXDIL called to say the following: "I need to make some changes. I need for you to take _____ to school day-...	omajoy	6	481	Jan 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.