The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Over the past few weeks, I have been so resentful, it is unreal. I have huge problems detaching. Ex-A comes in most nights p***** up to the eyeballs, I am not detaching as I should. Am on a diet and have lost 4IBs, he manages to put sweet stuff all around which I find hard to resist so yesterday I dumped it in the bin, big face on him then when the stuff was gone. We have talked about him moving back home, doing up his own place, it will be soon, so whats wrong with me. I keep thinking of the past and am getting quite mean and horrible. The smell of booze is turning me to my stomach but whats new, I'm well used to it. Any tips on dredged up resentment.
I don't really have any E, S & H to share with you other than to say I hear you and I am in the same place. My sober AH has been out of the house for a little over 2 years and his lease is up. We are talking about him moving back as well and I am fighting the past with a vengence for some reason. Events, words, suspicions, things that I thought I had worked through are all coming back. I think that in my case, it is all about FEAR. Fear that I will lose myself in him again, fear that I will lose my program with him under the same roof, fear that even though he's sober he still won't treat me the way I want to be treated or love me the way I want to be loved.
One of my Al-Anon friends suggested that I do a mini-4th step on fear and some other of the specific fears that I have and I plan on talking to my sponsor about it.
Good for you for setting boundaries with the sweets and congratulations on losing the weight--it is a hard, hard battle--I am right there with you.
Yours in recovery,
SLS
__________________
Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
I no longer live with the A. I am a month out of having no contact with him at all. All I can say its that I have laser super laser focus on the next step for me. What's what I need to do. What can I do about where I am right now. How can I move to the next step. I know what it is to be in toxic resentment. I can go there in a minute. I have to work super overtime on not going there. I am angry at the A yes, I am angry at lots of things I just don't stay that long in that neighborhood.
MR, my first front when doing battle with resentment has to do with re-acquainting myself with all the "alcoholism is a disease" literature. When I am in resentment mode, I am NOT in understanding this is a disease mode but thinking that the A can somehow control their drinking. J.
