Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tigger · Tigger

The Al-Anon Gifts/ Promises - From Survival to Recovery (p269) If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, our lives will be transformed. Members work their program by being willing to attend meetings on a regular basis, reading Al-...

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Peggy7 ~*Service Worker*~ Status: OnlinePosts: 650Date: 1h ago Reply Quote More Attachments AlanonSlogans10-28-15.pdf (119.6 kb)v Al-Anon Slogans in a Poem - By Coach Papa Slogans in a Poem by Coach Papa First Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out o...

WebHelper · WebHelper

The MIP Business board has been set up at https://mipbusiness.activeboard.com MIP Business is a place where members of all the fellowships in Miracles in Progress can be informed and have a say in changes that affect the MIP website pages. This is a place to communicate, discuss, and, when neces...

david62 · david62

GENERAL INFORMATION 1. Q. How do I know if Al-Anon is the place for me?A. Al-Anon is for friends and relatives of Alcoholics. If you have been affected by someone elses drinking then Al-Anon is for you! By going to the following link:http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting...

hotrod · hotrod

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level. When responding please consider asking yourself the question:" do my words support an alanon principle or philoso...

david62 · david62

Hi ((((Family))) I posted this in the chat room tonight..and was asked to post it up here too. We read this at my face to face meetings, especially when we have a newcomer! Some great things to remember when living with the family disease of alcoholism. Do's Do learn the facts about alcoholism. . Do tal...

A4L2 · A4L2

Morning MIP family. I have a court fixture this morning where my divorce application is being called. We're a no fault jurisdiction so it should be straight forward. I'm looking forward to the end of marriage being official. A bit nervous about appearing. But mostly looking forward to it being done...

Lyne · Lyne

As I continue to go through a huge list of acronyms Betty left me, I have just made up my second one which is DEW=Don't Expect (the) Worst. I had a medical appt. a couple days ago and my emotions went out of control with worry and fear. I was imaging the worst news and perhaps needing surgery. And guess wh...

WebHelper · WebHelper

Hi all. I thought I'd give a condensed background update on MIP Alanon to the present time. Please feel free to add in pertinent parts. The board was started around 1998 by a small group of alanoners with at least one double winner, being the founder John. John passed away some time ago. Over the years...

WebHelper · WebHelper

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ScSwapWBDDo&pp=iggCQAE%3D-- Edited by...

jitsuka · jitsuka

I was struck by yesterday's (October 15th) readings in the 4 CAL books. Specifically, Courage to Change struck a cord with me, it's heavily underlined in my copy and bookmarked. The 'cutting the strings of resentment' is a very powerful metaphor and I contrast to where I was last year, when I was so ca...

Lyne · Lyne

JADE is from the list of acronyms Betty gave me. I working through the list with an alanon friend. This was today's acronym. I can't say I agree with all of them or all of it. I rarely justify or argue. But I will defend and explain myself in certain situations, and especially with an open minded pers...

Lyne · Lyne

This is such a great acronym. It encompasses Step 1, Live and let live, and Let go and let God. It reminds us that we can only focus on and change ourselves. I wasted so much time and energy trying to change others. I didn't/couldn't see how sick I was. But now I've got things straightened out!It's me I...

WebHelper · WebHelper

Hiya MIP family. Wondering if anyone has any experience and tips on ala teen?

jitsuka · jitsuka

Today's reading resonated with me, when I first started intensively going to Al-Anon meetings, I was trying to analyse the situation, my circumstances and environment, I am a scientist by training and so I was looking through matters using that lens. It was only when I've started actually trying to...

Lyne · Lyne

I was telling a program friend how much help I have received after 15 years of alanon. I went to many therapists and they all helped me in certain ways, but my self-esteem, setting boundaries, resigning from the Doormat Club, all have improved in leaps and bounds. The ESH in the rooms is priceless. T...

texas yankee · texas yankee

My experience has been that everyone - EVERYONE - ive met in Al Anon meetings has been good people - different, maybe, but all good, decent caring people. Im wondering with the growing popularity of smart or AI or Meta glasses (glasses with a camera, a microphone, a computer) has anyone considered tha...

Lyne · Lyne

This is one of the acronyms I got from Betty. It's very positive, however honestly, I don't think pain ends. For me, pain lessens, and I am extremely grateful for that. A reading from Hope for Today, p. 366, says how much hope is given in so many of alanon's tools--Steps, sponsorship, hugs, etc. Ala...

Lyne · Lyne

My A is back to meetings and having a sponsor for the 3rd or 4th time. I have no expectations for the future as Betty taught me: an expectation is a resentment waiting to happen. I don't feel happy or joyful about this but I will try hard to appreciate any efforts for AA recovery that are made. Here's we...

DFG · DFG

My last post was to tell everyone how sick the alcoholic husband made himself. Ended up in the hospital for two weeks with a perforated stomach ulcer and how he swore, unsolicited by me, that he would never take another drink again. Well so much for the promise and when I reminded him tonight while he sa...

A4L2 · A4L2

Hi all. Hope this finds everyone well. Plodding along here with kids and life. Kids are so much bigger since I first landed here and are doing great. They have almost nothing to do with their A parent anymore and are so much the better for the stability and peace in our home. Life is good. I did finally...

Lyne · Lyne

HALT=hungry, angry, lonely, tired. This recovery acronym can help us recognize when these unmet needs may be influencing our behavior. HALT can be a helpful tool for emotional awareness and our resulting actions. We can be on the look out for these four stressors and take care of ourselves in a be...

Lyne · Lyne

This popped into my head a day or two ago. Haven't thought of it in a couple years. Something else Betty taught me: I can't. He can. I will let Him. This can come in handy when I am stuck. :)

A4L2 · A4L2

I'm sitting here with a pile of clean laundry folded in my clean house. And it strikes me how much better off we are now financially without the A. I had a very well paid high stress job at the time we split. I loved it though. Being able to buy little luxuries for myself and the kids was a true joy after yea...

DFG · DFG

The 'A' had an encounter with the ER July 3, 2026 due to a perforated stomach ulcer caused by his drinking. Landed him in surgery in the early hours of the morning of July 4th and was hospitalized for two weeks with serious blood infections. He pulled through and is back to light duty work. Swears he lea...

Lyne · Lyne

Quoting from book: "I heard an interesting way to categorize the Twelve Steps into four groups--giving up, owning up, making up, and keeping up." The page goes on to describe the four categories in a meaningful way, to help us grow and change. Another quote, same page: "If I feel overwhelmed by the har...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hello everyone, I am a grateful member of al-anon in the UK. Well, it's been quite a journey hasn't it. I didn't realise I was a member of al-anon for years until I finally found these rooms and the beautiful fellowship. The Q in my life, is my now ex-partner who I decided enough was enough and separated f...

Lyne · Lyne

Let go and let God. Should I give up my peace and serenity to try and control and/or influence another person, especially family? Heck no! Let it go....Live and let live--the focus needs to be on me and Step 1 always reminds me I cannot control anyone except on a good day, myself. :)

Lyne · Lyne

When I was working with Betty she gave me several typed pages on slogans, acronyms, and lots of interesting stuff. Lately an alanon friend and I are going through the sheets together. It's kind of like co-sponsoring. Two examples on the sheets from Betty are: -ASK: Ask, Seek, Knock -FEAR: Futur...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I had a very good day & now I am 60! I never thought that I would be so happy to be my age & hit this milestone! I am so grateful to be alive & in recovery. The love of my life helped me celebrate & I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. It is a wonderful place to be & I never had it so good!...

Lyne · Lyne

As mentioned in a previous post, an alanon friend and I are working on some ditto sheets given to me by Betty. One of the acronyms (sorry dont have the sheet here) was about recovering occurs when we delve into the pain and try to understand what happened. In that way we can gain understanding, move for...

Aloha · Aloha

This is such a great read. I'm glad I opened it (I have it tucked away in my desk at work). For me it gets down to the heart of the matter - the biggest challenge I have with my own "dis-ease" is one of looking outside of myself to find gratification. Usually, the perceived Golden Ticket I've alwa...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Responsibility for Family Members Melody Beatty speaks of the idea that many of us have the idea that we are responsible for other people's feelings. That it can have it's roots in childhood, and was established by members of our nuclear family. Perhaps a parent has told you that you make them miserab...

DFG · DFG

Just to update all my MIP partners in crime. The battle still continues for my sanity and I am happy to say that though the struggle continues I am learning new ways beyond Al Anon to cope. Whenever the alcoholic narcissistic monster rears it's ugly head due to it's inability to deal with stress (defi...

Lyne · Lyne

This is a great read to me. It says if you dont want to be a doormat, you must get up from the floor. I cant control others, but I can be responsible for my choices. It goes on to say that I was a willing participant in a dance they had two partners. In many ways I was a victim but came to see I was a volunteer. ...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

An update of where things are right now. I am still enjoying my relationship & have been doing a lot with him. We have been exploring places, eating at new restaurants including Thai food, Indian food & more new Mexican restaurants that we haven't tried before. All this amounts to lots of good...

Lotus64 · Lotus64

Today is my 38th wedding anniversary and Im trying to work my program to not feel hurt and disappointed that he once again, he has not said or done anything to acknowledge the day. I should be used to it, but it still hurts. In the past I would plan things, buy him something or say happy anniversary. His res...

Rosie922 · Rosie922

Choose Your Circle In some recovery communities, there is a saying that goes something like "Stick with the winners." On one level, I get it - it's intended to guide people seeking recovery to hang out with people who are already "succeeding" in their recovery. However, I don't like the implication...

Lyne · Lyne

This is the quote from p. 341:No one can control the insidious effect of alcohol, or its power to destroy the graces and decencies of life.But we do have a power, derived from God, and that is the power to change our own lives.I was thinking how I trusted almost everyone unconditionally, until two marri...

Lyne · Lyne

In my meeting last evening, we looked at this page noted above. It has a lovely writing about expectations. And it reminded me of another Bettyism on this topic. She taught me: Expectations are a resentment waiting to happen. When we were working together my spouse was an active alcoholic, and I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been in love for almost 3 years! He is everything I ever wanted in a man. I was just realeased from a hospital & he has been here for me in every way possible. We are struggling right now & I know that only God can fix this! We are truly in love! Through & through & in all ways we have show...

Lyne · Lyne

Ive been having migraines for months, could be a year. Im finally on the 3rd doctor, who with lots of bloodwork will see if the cause is from a tic borne illness. Im so tired of the headaches on a daily basis. Im tired of lots of things, from the political climate to my brother fighting cancer. And I fin...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Recently at my regular in person meeting the reading from Courage to Change, December 16th, was read; " DECEMBER 16 I was convinced that I had to take care of everything and everybodyI had no choice. But with the help of Al-Anon I have learned that, while I do have responsibilities, there are also many t...

jitsuka · jitsuka

I found this site quite an interesting one, whilst it does seem geared towards people who are in actively addiction, it is still relevant to those of us who are affected by another's drinking. There are links to AA, NA, Al-anon etc and interestingly there are audible daily readings from Courage to Ch...

Lyne · Lyne

Last night at my alanon meeting on zoom, we looked at p. 139. It talks about lifes ups and downs and that it is impossible to have peace or smooth sailing all the time. But it suggests that adversity can have value, and help us to change. The Chinese word for crisis is written with two characters: dang...

Lyne · Lyne

Inspired by a recent post of a member, I took a look at "Keep coming back" in C2C. Growth is not a constant forward direction. We will lose our way, make mistakes, cry, feel frustrated, and have tons of setbacks. So why do I keep coming back? I need a rational perspective, a light to find my way, I never...

Lyne · Lyne

I learned about the Door Mat club from a member here on MIP, about 10 years ago. I don't know who said it but it stuck with me. And by sticking with my alanon recovery, I finally could do it--no more saying what I think others want to hear--I can say what I need or want to be true and loving to myself. It's no...

Lyne · Lyne

This morning I was reading about self-love. The article said you cannot really love someone else until you learn to love yourself. And you need to practice self-love with belief and consistent behavior. I learned to hate myself due to an abusive childhood, followed by relationships with alcoho...

Lyne · Lyne

I recently worked on this slogan with an alanon friend. We went through the Steps together, one a week, and now we are doing the slogans. Last week was ODAT. This is possibly my favorite slogan. It takes the pressure off worrying and stress. If I can just take this one day, and attempt to deal with in a...

WebHelper · WebHelper

Greetings all 🙏 If anyone would like to help moderate this board which means removing spam and posting daily readings a couple times a week please reply here.

Lyne · Lyne

I was working on this with an alanon friend: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. I was thinking that the awareness and acceptance are kind of the warm up to take action. It can be a small action or a huge one. It's easier for me to tap into a slogan or a step, but if I take the time to remember the 3 A's, thi...

Lyne · Lyne

For those of you who knew Betty, and/or had her for a sponsor, she had given me two pages containing slogans and acronyms. I'm working on these with an alanon friend. We do 1 a week. But I stumbled upon "There but for the grace of God go I," which I don't find in most readers. Perhaps it was used more in he...

Rosie922 · Rosie922

Anyone who lives art knows that psychoanalysis has no monopoly on the power to heal. Art and poetry have always been altering our ways of sensing and feeling - that is to say, altering the human body. ~Norman O. Brown A man can lead a healing life on many levels. On one level, many of us have turned to heal...

WebHelper · WebHelper

Processing the alcoholic marriage and hearing others stories, this is a common feature. The constant trips to retrieve forgotten items, usually at a store, as an excuse to secretly take a drink. For myself, I can honestly say I never consciously at the time connected the frequent trips to the shop...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I know John and hotrod have passed and a lot of the old guard arent around anunite, but coming here and reading is still so helpful! So much ESH to be had here! Keep on keeping on!

tepinfo92 · tepinfo92

How Have Al-Anon Slogans Impacted Me.When first came to Al-Anon meetings, I was given materials to read and a list of meeting to try out. I did not open any of the materials or read about the program. I wanted to know how to stop my son from drinking and lower my level of anxiety. After attending a vari...

Lyne · Lyne

All my loved ones are struggling with physical and/or emotional problems. Today especially, I feel like I am struggling too. Life with a dry drunk is so hard to handle, that at times, like this one, I need to lean into program to get through this day. ODAT, OHAT, and perhaps OMAT. I know I can do it, I j...

Lyne · Lyne

When I first heard this slogan I thought it was ridiculous. Why do I have to do anything? It's the alcoholic who wrecked our marriage, gave me abuse, lying, and drove while drunk. This seemed backwards. But as I moved through recovery, it came to make sense to me. What does blame, anger, rejection...

KathyS · KathyS

I was going to reply to WakingUps post but thought I'd just start this as a new topic so more would read it. When I sponsor someone, below is the stepwork I send for step 2. The first 3 steps are the most important because they build the foundation for the rest of the steps. If we don't ha...

Lyne · Lyne

Inspired by a recent post from a member, the only thing I think guilt and shame do are make us feel worse. No good has ever come from ruminating about guilt and shame. If I do something I feel was wrong or hurt someone, I will make amends ASAP (Steps 9-11.). However, if I choose an action to save myself, an...

	Sub Forum	Topics	Posts	Last Post
	Al-anon speakers - Read Only Al-anon speakers	2	2	October 26th by WebHelper
	Old sticky posts - Read Only Not sure what to do with these so parking them here.	6	91	Mar 10, 2026 by yopame7132

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	STICKY: THE Gifts/PROMISES OF ALANON ( 1 2 ) (Preview) The Al-Anon Gifts/ Promises - From Survival to Recovery (p269) If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, our lives will be transformed. Members work their program by being willing to attend meetings on a regular basis, reading Al-...	Tigger	67	100680	Mar 21, 2025 by WendyP
	STICKY: Sticky Alanon Slogans in Poem and other helpful acronyms (Preview) Peggy7 ~Service Worker~ Status: OnlinePosts: 650Date: 1h ago Reply Quote More Attachments AlanonSlogans10-28-15.pdf (119.6 kb)v Al-Anon Slogans in a Poem - By Coach Papa Slogans in a Poem by Coach Papa First Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out o...	hotrod	25	40106	Feb 3, 2021 by DavidG
	STICKY: MIP Business Board (Preview) The MIP Business board has been set up at https://mipbusiness.activeboard.com MIP Business is a place where members of all the fellowships in Miracles in Progress can be informed and have a say in changes that affect the MIP website pages. This is a place to communicate, discuss, and, when neces...	WebHelper	4	11164	Sep 22, 2018 by hotrod
	STICKY: FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (closed) (Preview) GENERAL INFORMATION 1. Q. How do I know if Al-Anon is the place for me?A. Al-Anon is for friends and relatives of Alcoholics. If you have been affected by someone elses drinking then Al-Anon is for you! By going to the following link:http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting...	david62	23	60686	May 15, 2018 by Iamhere
	STICKY: INFORMATION FOR THE NEW COMER--POSTING GUIDELINES AND OTHER IMPORTANT INFORMATION (closed) (Preview) The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level. When responding please consider asking yourself the question:" do my words support an alanon principle or philoso...	hotrod	7	15916	May 7, 2018 by hotrod
	STICKY: Do's and Don'ts (closed) (Preview) Hi ((((Family))) I posted this in the chat room tonight..and was asked to post it up here too. We read this at my face to face meetings, especially when we have a newcomer! Some great things to remember when living with the family disease of alcoholism. Do's Do learn the facts about alcoholism. . Do tal...	david62	33	33506	Apr 24, 2018 by hotrod
	Today's the day..divorce hearing. (Preview) Morning MIP family. I have a court fixture this morning where my divorce application is being called. We're a no fault jurisdiction so it should be straight forward. I'm looking forward to the end of marriage being official. A bit nervous about appearing. But mostly looking forward to it being done...	A4L2	5	97	3 days ago by Lyne
	DEW (Preview) As I continue to go through a huge list of acronyms Betty left me, I have just made up my second one which is DEW=Don't Expect (the) Worst. I had a medical appt. a couple days ago and my emotions went out of control with worry and fear. I was imaging the worst news and perhaps needing surgery. And guess wh...	Lyne	1	61	6 days ago by jitsuka
	Board Update : November 2026 (Preview) Hi all. I thought I'd give a condensed background update on MIP Alanon to the present time. Please feel free to add in pertinent parts. The board was started around 1998 by a small group of alanoners with at least one double winner, being the founder John. John passed away some time ago. Over the years...	WebHelper	2	71	6 days ago by jitsuka
	A touching al-anon share (Preview) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ScSwapWBDDo&pp=iggCQAE%3D-- Edited by...	WebHelper	6	94	6 days ago by jitsuka
	CAL readings and the subject of self-care (Preview) I was struck by yesterday's (October 15th) readings in the 4 CAL books. Specifically, Courage to Change struck a cord with me, it's heavily underlined in my copy and bookmarked. The 'cutting the strings of resentment' is a very powerful metaphor and I contrast to where I was last year, when I was so ca...	jitsuka	4	218	6 days ago by jitsuka
	JADE=(Don't) Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain (Preview) JADE is from the list of acronyms Betty gave me. I working through the list with an alanon friend. This was today's acronym. I can't say I agree with all of them or all of it. I rarely justify or argue. But I will defend and explain myself in certain situations, and especially with an open minded pers...	Lyne	6	205	6 days ago by jitsuka
	From Betty: LOVE--Let others voluntarily evolve (Preview) This is such a great acronym. It encompasses Step 1, Live and let live, and Let go and let God. It reminds us that we can only focus on and change ourselves. I wasted so much time and energy trying to change others. I didn't/couldn't see how sick I was. But now I've got things straightened out!It's me I...	Lyne	1	96	9 days ago by jitsuka
	Thought on Ala-teen? (Preview) Hiya MIP family. Wondering if anyone has any experience and tips on ala teen?	WebHelper	1	151	October 27th by Lyne
	From Courage to Change, October 11th (Preview) Today's reading resonated with me, when I first started intensively going to Al-Anon meetings, I was trying to analyse the situation, my circumstances and environment, I am a scientist by training and so I was looking through matters using that lens. It was only when I've started actually trying to...	jitsuka	1	197	October 12th by Lyne
	Another acronym from Betty: HOPE--Happy Our Program Exists (Preview) I was telling a program friend how much help I have received after 15 years of alanon. I went to many therapists and they all helped me in certain ways, but my self-esteem, setting boundaries, resigning from the Doormat Club, all have improved in leaps and bounds. The ESH in the rooms is priceless. T...	Lyne	1	225	October 6th by jitsuka
	Meeting protocol - “smart / AI glasses” ?? (Preview) My experience has been that everyone - EVERYONE - ive met in Al Anon meetings has been good people - different, maybe, but all good, decent caring people. Im wondering with the growing popularity of smart or AI or Meta glasses (glasses with a camera, a microphone, a computer) has anyone considered tha...	texas yankee	2	229	October 6th by jitsuka
	HOPE: Hold on...Pain Ends (Preview) This is one of the acronyms I got from Betty. It's very positive, however honestly, I don't think pain ends. For me, pain lessens, and I am extremely grateful for that. A reading from Hope for Today, p. 366, says how much hope is given in so many of alanon's tools--Steps, sponsorship, hugs, etc. Ala...	Lyne	1	233	October 5th by jitsuka
	Chapter 3 or 4 (Preview) My A is back to meetings and having a sponsor for the 3rd or 4th time. I have no expectations for the future as Betty taught me: an expectation is a resentment waiting to happen. I don't feel happy or joyful about this but I will try hard to appreciate any efforts for AA recovery that are made. Here's we...	Lyne	1	248	September 21st by jitsuka
	So Much For Promises (Preview) My last post was to tell everyone how sick the alcoholic husband made himself. Ended up in the hospital for two weeks with a perforated stomach ulcer and how he swore, unsolicited by me, that he would never take another drink again. Well so much for the promise and when I reminded him tonight while he sa...	DFG	6	283	September 15th by DFG
	Just checking in. (Preview) Hi all. Hope this finds everyone well. Plodding along here with kids and life. Kids are so much bigger since I first landed here and are doing great. They have almost nothing to do with their A parent anymore and are so much the better for the stability and peace in our home. Life is good. I did finally...	A4L2	5	312	September 15th by jitsuka
	HALT (Preview) HALT=hungry, angry, lonely, tired. This recovery acronym can help us recognize when these unmet needs may be influencing our behavior. HALT can be a helpful tool for emotional awareness and our resulting actions. We can be on the look out for these four stressors and take care of ourselves in a be...	Lyne	4	307	September 14th by jitsuka
	Another Bettyism (Preview) This popped into my head a day or two ago. Haven't thought of it in a couple years. Something else Betty taught me: I can't. He can. I will let Him. This can come in handy when I am stuck. :)	Lyne	1	331	August 30th by jitsuka
	An observation on life after an A. (Preview) I'm sitting here with a pile of clean laundry folded in my clean house. And it strikes me how much better off we are now financially without the A. I had a very well paid high stress job at the time we split. I loved it though. Being able to buy little luxuries for myself and the kids was a true joy after yea...	A4L2	2	314	August 30th by jitsuka
	Interesting News For You All (Preview) The 'A' had an encounter with the ER July 3, 2026 due to a perforated stomach ulcer caused by his drinking. Landed him in surgery in the early hours of the morning of July 4th and was hospitalized for two weeks with serious blood infections. He pulled through and is back to light duty work. Swears he lea...	DFG	4	382	August 24th by DFG
	Interesting take on the Steps, Hope for Today P. 74 (Preview) Quoting from book: "I heard an interesting way to categorize the Twelve Steps into four groups--giving up, owning up, making up, and keeping up." The page goes on to describe the four categories in a meaningful way, to help us grow and change. Another quote, same page: "If I feel overwhelmed by the har...	Lyne	2	409	August 18th by jitsuka
	Hello you wonderful people. Updates and major changes in life. (Preview) Hello everyone, I am a grateful member of al-anon in the UK. Well, it's been quite a journey hasn't it. I didn't realise I was a member of al-anon for years until I finally found these rooms and the beautiful fellowship. The Q in my life, is my now ex-partner who I decided enough was enough and separated f...	jitsuka	4	669	August 18th by jitsuka
	Evening thought (Preview) Let go and let God. Should I give up my peace and serenity to try and control and/or influence another person, especially family? Heck no! Let it go....Live and let live--the focus needs to be on me and Step 1 always reminds me I cannot control anyone except on a good day, myself. :)	Lyne	2	478	August 16th by DFG
	Acronyms (Preview) When I was working with Betty she gave me several typed pages on slogans, acronyms, and lots of interesting stuff. Lately an alanon friend and I are going through the sheets together. It's kind of like co-sponsoring. Two examples on the sheets from Betty are: -ASK: Ask, Seek, Knock -FEAR: Futur...	Lyne	2	468	August 5th by Lyne
	yesterday was my birthday(and I had a good time) (Preview) I had a very good day & now I am 60! I never thought that I would be so happy to be my age & hit this milestone! I am so grateful to be alive & in recovery. The love of my life helped me celebrate & I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. It is a wonderful place to be & I never had it so good!...	Hoot Nanny	4	507	August 4th by Jozie0910
	Inspired again by Betty (Preview) As mentioned in a previous post, an alanon friend and I are working on some ditto sheets given to me by Betty. One of the acronyms (sorry dont have the sheet here) was about recovering occurs when we delve into the pain and try to understand what happened. In that way we can gain understanding, move for...	Lyne	1	406	August 3rd by jitsuka
	May 11th's Courage to Change (Preview) This is such a great read. I'm glad I opened it (I have it tucked away in my desk at work). For me it gets down to the heart of the matter - the biggest challenge I have with my own "dis-ease" is one of looking outside of myself to find gratification. Usually, the perceived Golden Ticket I've alwa...	Aloha	5	1401	July 8th by ruhijuise
	08/22/20 (Preview) Responsibility for Family Members Melody Beatty speaks of the idea that many of us have the idea that we are responsible for other people's feelings. That it can have it's roots in childhood, and was established by members of our nuclear family. Perhaps a parent has told you that you make them miserab...	PosiesandPuppies	6	990	July 8th by ruhijuise
	Just stopping in to say hello!!! (Preview) Just to update all my MIP partners in crime. The battle still continues for my sanity and I am happy to say that though the struggle continues I am learning new ways beyond Al Anon to cope. Whenever the alcoholic narcissistic monster rears it's ugly head due to it's inability to deal with stress (defi...	DFG	3	541	July 5th by Daffodils
	No longer a victim, C2C, p. 361 (Preview) This is a great read to me. It says if you dont want to be a doormat, you must get up from the floor. I cant control others, but I can be responsible for my choices. It goes on to say that I was a willing participant in a dance they had two partners. In many ways I was a victim but came to see I was a volunteer. ...	Lyne	2	607	July 2nd by jitsuka
	Just an update(memories & regrets) (Preview) An update of where things are right now. I am still enjoying my relationship & have been doing a lot with him. We have been exploring places, eating at new restaurants including Thai food, Indian food & more new Mexican restaurants that we haven't tried before. All this amounts to lots of good...	Hoot Nanny	2	596	June 25th by Lyne
	Disappointment (Preview) Today is my 38th wedding anniversary and Im trying to work my program to not feel hurt and disappointed that he once again, he has not said or done anything to acknowledge the day. I should be used to it, but it still hurts. In the past I would plan things, buy him something or say happy anniversary. His res...	Lotus64	2	672	June 22nd by Lyne
	Choose your own circle (Preview) Choose Your Circle In some recovery communities, there is a saying that goes something like "Stick with the winners." On one level, I get it - it's intended to guide people seeking recovery to hang out with people who are already "succeeding" in their recovery. However, I don't like the implication...	Rosie922	7	1510	June 8th by yopame7132
	Thinking about trust, inspired by C2C, p.341 (Preview) This is the quote from p. 341:No one can control the insidious effect of alcohol, or its power to destroy the graces and decencies of life.But we do have a power, derived from God, and that is the power to change our own lives.I was thinking how I trusted almost everyone unconditionally, until two marri...	Lyne	0	585	June 6th by Lyne
	C2C, 6/1, expectations (Preview) In my meeting last evening, we looked at this page noted above. It has a lovely writing about expectations. And it reminded me of another Bettyism on this topic. She taught me: Expectations are a resentment waiting to happen. When we were working together my spouse was an active alcoholic, and I...	Lyne	1	597	June 5th by jitsuka
	True love (Preview) I have been in love for almost 3 years! He is everything I ever wanted in a man. I was just realeased from a hospital & he has been here for me in every way possible. We are struggling right now & I know that only God can fix this! We are truly in love! Through & through & in all ways we have show...	Hoot Nanny	2	723	May 30th by jitsuka
	Being mindful and present to keep my serenity (Preview) Ive been having migraines for months, could be a year. Im finally on the 3rd doctor, who with lots of bloodwork will see if the cause is from a tic borne illness. Im so tired of the headaches on a daily basis. Im tired of lots of things, from the political climate to my brother fighting cancer. And I fin...	Lyne	1	637	May 25th by jitsuka
	Courage to Change, Dec 16th (Preview) Recently at my regular in person meeting the reading from Courage to Change, December 16th, was read; " DECEMBER 16 I was convinced that I had to take care of everything and everybodyI had no choice. But with the help of Al-Anon I have learned that, while I do have responsibilities, there are also many t...	jitsuka	1	642	May 24th by Lyne
	Daily Ponderables - The Cup of Joe recovery podcast (Preview) I found this site quite an interesting one, whilst it does seem geared towards people who are in actively addiction, it is still relevant to those of us who are affected by another's drinking. There are links to AA, NA, Al-anon etc and interestingly there are audible daily readings from Courage to Ch...	jitsuka	1	630	May 20th by Lyne
	C2C, 5/18, Danger/Opportunity (Preview) Last night at my alanon meeting on zoom, we looked at p. 139. It talks about lifes ups and downs and that it is impossible to have peace or smooth sailing all the time. But it suggests that adversity can have value, and help us to change. The Chinese word for crisis is written with two characters: dang...	Lyne	0	658	May 19th by Lyne
	Keep coming back (Preview) Inspired by a recent post of a member, I took a look at "Keep coming back" in C2C. Growth is not a constant forward direction. We will lose our way, make mistakes, cry, feel frustrated, and have tons of setbacks. So why do I keep coming back? I need a rational perspective, a light to find my way, I never...	Lyne	4	999	May 14, 2026 by jitsuka
	I resigned from the Door Mat club. (Preview) I learned about the Door Mat club from a member here on MIP, about 10 years ago. I don't know who said it but it stuck with me. And by sticking with my alanon recovery, I finally could do it--no more saying what I think others want to hear--I can say what I need or want to be true and loving to myself. It's no...	Lyne	2	745	May 14, 2026 by jitsuka
	Self-love (Preview) This morning I was reading about self-love. The article said you cannot really love someone else until you learn to love yourself. And you need to practice self-love with belief and consistent behavior. I learned to hate myself due to an abusive childhood, followed by relationships with alcoho...	Lyne	6	973	May 13, 2026 by jitsuka
	ODAT (Preview) I recently worked on this slogan with an alanon friend. We went through the Steps together, one a week, and now we are doing the slogans. Last week was ODAT. This is possibly my favorite slogan. It takes the pressure off worrying and stress. If I can just take this one day, and attempt to deal with in a...	Lyne	1	789	May 13, 2026 by jitsuka
	Help wanted for the board (Preview) Greetings all 🙏 If anyone would like to help moderate this board which means removing spam and posting daily readings a couple times a week please reply here.	WebHelper	4	850	May 13, 2026 by jitsuka
	3 A's (Preview) I was working on this with an alanon friend: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. I was thinking that the awareness and acceptance are kind of the warm up to take action. It can be a small action or a huge one. It's easier for me to tap into a slogan or a step, but if I take the time to remember the 3 A's, thi...	Lyne	0	838	Apr 24, 2026 by Lyne
	There but for the grace of God, go I (Preview) For those of you who knew Betty, and/or had her for a sponsor, she had given me two pages containing slogans and acronyms. I'm working on these with an alanon friend. We do 1 a week. But I stumbled upon "There but for the grace of God go I," which I don't find in most readers. Perhaps it was used more in he...	Lyne	3	758	Apr 17, 2026 by Lyne
	Healing (Preview) Anyone who lives art knows that psychoanalysis has no monopoly on the power to heal. Art and poetry have always been altering our ways of sensing and feeling - that is to say, altering the human body. ~Norman O. Brown A man can lead a healing life on many levels. On one level, many of us have turned to heal...	Rosie922	1	797	Apr 3, 2026 by Rosie922
	He forgot his shoes/ milk/onions. (Preview) Processing the alcoholic marriage and hearing others stories, this is a common feature. The constant trips to retrieve forgotten items, usually at a store, as an excuse to secretly take a drink. For myself, I can honestly say I never consciously at the time connected the frequent trips to the shop...	WebHelper	2	760	Mar 29, 2026 by Rosie922
	I come here not near as often but I miss the old guard! (Preview) I know John and hotrod have passed and a lot of the old guard arent around anunite, but coming here and reading is still so helpful! So much ESH to be had here! Keep on keeping on!	Breakingfree	4	880	Mar 29, 2026 by Rosie922
	slogans (Preview) How Have Al-Anon Slogans Impacted Me.When first came to Al-Anon meetings, I was given materials to read and a list of meeting to try out. I did not open any of the materials or read about the program. I wanted to know how to stop my son from drinking and lower my level of anxiety. After attending a vari...	tepinfo92	3	915	Mar 29, 2026 by Rosie922
	Keep it Simple (Preview) All my loved ones are struggling with physical and/or emotional problems. Today especially, I feel like I am struggling too. Life with a dry drunk is so hard to handle, that at times, like this one, I need to lean into program to get through this day. ODAT, OHAT, and perhaps OMAT. I know I can do it, I j...	Lyne	2	752	Mar 29, 2026 by Rosie922
	Let it begin with me (Preview) When I first heard this slogan I thought it was ridiculous. Why do I have to do anything? It's the alcoholic who wrecked our marriage, gave me abuse, lying, and drove while drunk. This seemed backwards. But as I moved through recovery, it came to make sense to me. What does blame, anger, rejection...	Lyne	0	747	Mar 12, 2026 by Lyne
	Step 2 Worksheet (Preview) I was going to reply to WakingUps post but thought I'd just start this as a new topic so more would read it. When I sponsor someone, below is the stepwork I send for step 2. The first 3 steps are the most important because they build the foundation for the rest of the steps. If we don't ha...	KathyS	7	12712	Feb 26, 2026 by Lyne
	Thoughts on guilt and shame (Preview) Inspired by a recent post from a member, the only thing I think guilt and shame do are make us feel worse. No good has ever come from ruminating about guilt and shame. If I do something I feel was wrong or hurt someone, I will make amends ASAP (Steps 9-11.). However, if I choose an action to save myself, an...	Lyne	2	900	Feb 19, 2026 by Lyne
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