Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ddub · ddub

David's post about the challenge to be grateful to be sick reminded me of my past wkend. I continue to be amazed that our mental, physical and emotional systems are so closely related - when one system is stressed, the others are affected. I've known this for a long time but I am either more aware...

david62 · david62

Hiya (((((Family))))) I am on day two of being home from work sick! I do NOT enjoy it. Would much rather be at work. Not sure what it is yet, achy head, sore throat and a little coughing..but no fever so far. This new year has started out sorta bumpy in some ways...didn't get a job I wanted, now sick..and...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I find text messaging to be an interesting form of communication. What I am referring to specifically, is my ah's communication through it. I am thinking you may find some humor in this. Is it just me or is he just trying to say that I am the one with the "problem" Last week, the morning after ou...

kissers · kissers

She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. --Anais Nin How aptly these words describe the woman so many of us were. Many activities were not attempted, courses weren't taken, conversations w...

omajoy · omajoy

I just dropped my grandbaby off to his mother following our second Wednesday night visitation routine. Last week was awful; she didn't let me drop him due to boyfriend being at her house. Today she said I could drop him; obviously boyfriend not there tonight. Son came for visit. I had told him don't co...

maresie · maresie

I am really trying to use the tool of getting busy to get me through this time of transition. So far I have the following in hand: 1. On Saturday a class to go to on some things I need (its free) 2. Meeting a friend on the weekend (I am very very isolated) 3. meeting list for the weekend (I have promised myself I...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

One of my ex-best friends (an addict/alkie who relapsed and I had not heard from her in quite a while) just called and left me a very teary-eyed dramatic "I love you/I miss you" message on my VM (if there is one thing this program has taught me is to NOT ANSWER the phone when the A/Addicts call, l...

tma0413 · tma0413

I need some advice. As I have posted in a previous post, my husband's drinking has caused him to have some legal problems, being that we are in a small town, lots of people know so it's only a matter of time before MIL finds out. I know how this is going to go when she finds out, she will harp on him about his...

bev · bev

thanks for all your thoughts,i did make the appt,and yes it is up to him,to tell the dentists of his addictions not mine..but i know he wont..his appt is sat morning.i will update you on what happens

momto4boys · momto4boys

My AH just entered a 28 day rehab program last week. What can I expect while he is there (will I have to attend therapy sessions at all), and what can I expect when he comes home (how he may act or how I should treat him)? I really hope this works for him and I want to do everything I can do to help him. I'm just afr...

debilyn · debilyn

As I was reading Barisaxes post it hit me. There is NO WAY we as non addicts can relate to how an addict feels anymore thant an addict relating to a non addict. Our idea of choice is totalling different than an A. I hear alllll the time, the A saying,they want to be "normal." They see how non addi...

lmw · lmw

I will detach, detach, detach. I will not call him. I will not email him. He's a grown man and can take care of himself. We are legally separated, and I am not responsible for him.... When he didn't call me on Tuesday (I had said I would take him shopping), I did a little research and found he'd been arr...

bev · bev

as many of you know,my SAH has been in recovery since feb 13 07...{besides drinking he was a drug addict}my SAH has a toothache and he wants me call and get an appt to have it removed,i know the dentist will give him something for the pain,i asked him lastnite,if he thinks it is a good thing to take narcotic...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

It was good to finally put my thoughts down and receive all those heartfelt replies. Where would I be without Alanon. I can't wait for my next meeting. I told my AH the other day(trying to be honest) that I didn't like him anymore. I don't know if that is a wrong thing to say or what but he hasn't spoken to me s...

kissers · kissers

It is just as easy to think, "I can" as it is to think, "I can't." Both attitudes are habitual orientations to life that can become automatic with practice. Neither attitude has as much to do with the task at hand as it does with the inner spirit of the person facing the task. In eith...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I received divorce papers last week. I knew they were coming. We went to a counseling appt with the kids this afternoon to talk about it and it broke my heart. My 14 yr old son cried openly and my 10 yr old daughter sat silent, but cried herself to sleep tonight. It was suppposed to be an open communicati...

Jen · Jen

I just thought a bit of an update might be nice. My AH and I had one of those days today. You know the ones that blow the lid off the pressure cooker. The one that the other shoe doesn't just drop, it slams to the floor like a CA earthquake. It was one of those days that no matter what either of us did, nothing wen...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Ever since way back when he was still in recovery he used to say... "For an addict, thinking is doing. If the addict thinks about taking a hit, it's already done. It might be later that day, or years away" I used to think this was some sort of recovery philosophy. But I wonder now if there is any s...

Laurenlou · Laurenlou

Hi all, I am brand new here. I am 23 year old mother of a 2.5 year old daughter. And I am the wife of a drug addict. My husband has been addicted to pain meds for over 3 years. He has been in 5 car accidents (1 of which was very serious and caused the early birth of our daughter) and has 2 DUIs (he would have 1 more, b...

twnzmama · twnzmama

I have been lurking. I have read about being detached and how a lot of the things I'm doing to/for my AH are wrong or at least not helpful to him. I try to be his friend and guide him towrds doing what he has told me he wants. He wants to stop. He actually said it, I couldn't breathe, and he did it. For one day. Sti...

desperate for help · desperate for help

I am tired of all the lies. AH tells me things b/c he knows it's what i want to hear. They are all lies. THen when I do confront him about something, he seems to forget what he told me and comes up with a whole new story. I am trying so hard to just ignore him, like a member of my al-anon group suggested, but i...

Becky1 · Becky1

I know this song is about "the other woman" but it describes how I feel about my AH right now. I substitute "beer" and "drinking" for any references to "her" or "she". Stay: by Sugarland I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall And...

anon4this · anon4this

I am planning on filing for divorce. My AH is not an out of control drunk, but the years of drug abuse, drinking, in addition to his own personal baggage have contributed to his mental instability. Plus I don't need to stay around to see how bad it could get. I have a meeting with an attorney in a we...

Codependent · Codependent

I am at work so just wanted to write quickly. I did take my personal laptop in for repair so hopefully I get back in soon. I am tempted to telling my A who is running from the police to turn himself in, to go ahead and face consequences, go to rehab, and give his child some opportunity to get to know him. Do yo...

maresie · maresie

I am in this dilemma. The job I am in is ending in a few weeks. I will have to go out and interview. They are not clear on my job when it is exactly ending. I imagine that it will go over a week or so if I wanted it too. The issue is I am totally burned out with working long hours and communting. I'd really rather s...

Loupiness · Loupiness

This post is a spin off something I just read in another thread which asked why some alcoholics are functioning, working, productive and others get close to, or actually get to skid row. I've been thinking about this a lot lately in regard to the A's in my life. My ah - Very covert in his use. So m...

getoverit · getoverit

Hi boys and girls of my al anon family, I hope y'all r well and hopefully all is well here also! Now, by request ( perhaps following the week of happy chatroom chats ) the following then is posted.. at the close of the awards is a favorite brownie cake recipe: A brownie cake recipe:To begin, this recipe cal...

maresie · maresie

Two of my roommates are really over involved with each other. One of them is a person I rely on to get a ride now and again. Neverthless her total preoccupation with the other person is nauseating to say the least (I know this reminds me of me). If I don't seem interested she is annoyed because she is abs...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))) Thought I would share with you, as you know, I have had Alcoholics in my life. One I had a "kind of relationship" with. For twenty two years he has been in my life as a "neighbour", "friend", "big brother",...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Wed Jan 9, 1:18 AM ET DES MOINES, Iowa - Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the 'meanest mom on the planet.' After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone by placing an ad in the local newspaper. The ad reads: 'OLDS 1999 Intrigue. To...

concerned123 · concerned123

Now, i know that alcoholism is a disease. The medical community says so, everysone says so. but sometimes i get so mad at my A because most people when they are sick, get treatment. I still have so much to learn about this disease and want to stop being so mad at my A. There has to be some level of choice i...

afmom03 · afmom03

....Is that WE WERE ALL close enough to one another to just jump in our cars , walk or run...and all meet somewhere right now, this very minute! I have been trying and ACTING like I'm so strong since I left my husband, and I don't know why...but lately...these past weeks leading up to the first anniversar...

RedRose17 · RedRose17

My husband has recently started attending NA. Is this the right place for me?

maresie · maresie

A few years ago the A wanted one of his friends to be able to come and practically live at our house. He wanted his friend to have access to the house 24/7 and use the driveway that is totally block the driveway and my access to it 24/7 for 6 months. At the time I virulently objected to it. When I was objectin...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hi this is my first post. I have been a member for a year. Alanon has helped me to see things more clearly and the fellowship and understanding is wonderful. I am praying for courage as I never thought that I was afraid. God showed me recently that I am very afraid. I have been hanging on to something for fea...

maresie · maresie

My interview was cancelled they want me to be available to start work tomorrow. I guess there is always a catch 22. When I was unemployed I couldn't get a job to save my life. Now I am employed no one wants me to give notice! I am keeping on keeping on. I sent in the fee for my dog license today. Both dogs are co...

kari80 · kari80

The more I read about everyone's experiences the less I see my life will ever go back on track. My ex abf is in a treatment center, my life has been turned upside down over the past two years with him and now he is finally getting the help I pleaded with him to get (after our relationship ended.) I don't know...

maresie · maresie

I am going on another interview tomorrow. Its in a University which should be exempt from the recession thats looming. I am thinking the recession may help me in some ways. Apartments are coming available, the rent is dropping, pretty soon I will find a place that will let me in with the dogs, bad cre...

barisax · barisax

We often say in Alanon that we shouldn't give advice, or tell anyone what to do - just share our experience, strength, and hope. Of course that means we give advice/suggestions all the time. Sometimes more benignly than others, but... we do it. We're not perfect. I think it's partly a Mars/Venus thi...

bev · bev

hi all.i had my biopsy sat,my arm hurts,and i have 6 stitches..SAH HAD THE WEEKEND OFF WORK,{acually he has every weekend off}but he didnt want to take me,so i called a friend and she went with me to drive me back home, i got on the computer sat nite for few min and now i know why he didnt go he wanted to look at...

chick29 · chick29

Not posted for a while, but feeling really mixed up at the moment I think its to do with resentments, ego and my pride and still some unhealthy thinking patterns. My aboyf now ex! decided to behave in an unbearable manner which caused a lot of upsets and rows almost as though he was trying to get me to kick h...

ddub · ddub

I keep wondering about lots of things and maybe you have too. Looking for esh as my head hurts from turning things over and over again. One thing I wonder is how do you know when to quit trying to figure things out and letting go, letting HP. Maybe just stopping the wondering is good and give it all up to HP...

xcskier · xcskier

I'm new here. I have this sort of ex-boyfriend, who keeps coming back, when he's the one that ended it. He was a non drinking alcoholic (or whatever you call it) when we were together. Recently he has started drinking again, and leaning on me. He just spent a week with me after asking if he could come h...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hey, you, if you are reading this please send a sign! Hugs, missing your thoughts/words, J.

digby · digby

I never know if what I do is right. My son is 26 has suffered from severe depression, crashed his car into a tree. It burst into flames. He was able to get out to go to jail. We didn't get him for 4 days and they had him on suicide watch. He moved home and started going to AA. He did well for about 6 months, He h...

omajoy · omajoy

I have spent today pacing and asking my HP to stop me from any action. So far I haven't done a thing. No phone ringing, but I wasn't going to answer anyway. Final call today from son was "she (His EX) is threatening to call sherriff on me" and he hung up. I hope he isn't in a cell right now because sh...

stormie · stormie

I was wondering if any of you have this same challenge to overcome: Mothering your A. I'm separated from my recovering AH, although we see each other on weekends (usually). We have two grown children, both in their early 30s. I have no difficulty not giving them unsolicited advice. For example, o...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

What a difference a hour can make. Just heard a dear friend has died suddenly and I feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me... Just bursting with grieve and shock. She was only 41, and so full of life and love. Cannot get my head around this. Doesn't help because I have no one here to talk to. I rea...

omajoy · omajoy

As I type, I am fighting just collaspsing. If anyone is on-line right now and can give me some help, please I need it. Our family drama with EXDIL, son has escalated into nasty communication between them. Son is angry with me as well because I try to talk sense into him. He is frantic that he's seen son onl...

Becky1 · Becky1

Well, the silent treatment continues here. He went to work yesterday, it was just for a couple of hours, but he didn't call or come home from 8am, until 5pm, so I had made plans to go out with my friend who will soon be moving to Nashville. We have been friends thru thick and thin....25 years or so. As I w...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family))))), A very good morning and Happy Sunday to you all. After reading some posts, I thought this might help us all. It was yesterday's meditation from: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg (Hazelden 1991) This is an abbreviated version. Freedom means choos...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

The Serenity Prayer by Reinold Niebuhr. Interpretation/understanding/perceptions - just one take on the meaning behind the words - not suggesting anyone else should interpret/understand/perceive this prayer as I do, I just thought I would share my perspective with you. by Heartbroken. God gr...

optimistundone · optimistundone

where he stops.....nobody knows. Nothing like the silent treatment for two days followed by a day of an engaged and semi-helpful spouse who decided to talk to me today. He thanked me for reaching out to him, and my response was "I know it wasn't me"...which set him into another "pen...

maresie · maresie

i went for the interview on Friday and I felt it went well. I could have done better on some questions but I think I did pretty well overall. I hope I manage to get in there. My current job is up in the air. They are looking for someone but they expect me to stick around for ever for that. I am not willing to. I'v...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Well I woke up a little late; the wife had gone off to work and I thought she was shopping (wrong again Jerry F!!) and the weather was colder than normal (who can I blame for that?) Before rushing off to the "Super Saturday" AFG face to face meeting I had to do pity potty duty. I sat there thin...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have been thinking that one of the reasons why its so hard for me to put myself first is because I was born and raised watching the A's in my life do the same thing through their disease/addiction. I have found this so abhorrent, this inability of them to see that they put their alcohol/drugs/whatever f...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have had an unbelievable birthday. I went on a date for lunch with a guy I met online and he FLEW in to take me out. He shows up with a dozen roses. Come to find out he's a millionaire. And then he buys me a new GPS as a gift. On the first date. I'm a little wary but being glad for today going so well and as so...

wahineal · wahineal

My therapist has been recommending that I attend al anon meetings for sometime now, but with my one and a half year old and my full time university experience i find myself with little free time. I have been with my partner for a little over two years and emotionally and mentally i find myself giving up....

concerned123 · concerned123

i was wondering, should i tell my A that I have found this site and begun reaching out for my own help? I feel a little guilty keeping a secret from him. I have even save it in my favorite places under a fake name so he won't find it. Should i share this info or do you guys think it would be better to keep this j...

mrcjschu · mrcjschu

Thank you all so very much for your heartfelt honesty and warm welcome. You truly made me feel welcome and comfortable - in such a way that I haven't felt in years. As I'm sure you all know - having kids can change your life. Being involved with an alcoholic changes it further. Separating from or divorc...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Phone number to call in sick? (Preview) David's post about the challenge to be grateful to be sick reminded me of my past wkend. I continue to be amazed that our mental, physical and emotional systems are so closely related - when one system is stressed, the others are affected. I've known this for a long time but I am either more aware...	ddub	2	507	Jan 17, 2008 by maresie
	Grateful to be sick!!! Are you kidding me!!!??? (Preview) Hiya (((((Family))))) I am on day two of being home from work sick! I do NOT enjoy it. Would much rather be at work. Not sure what it is yet, achy head, sore throat and a little coughing..but no fever so far. This new year has started out sorta bumpy in some ways...didn't get a job I wanted, now sick..and...	david62	9	566	Jan 18, 2008 by wp
	Text Messaging (Preview) I find text messaging to be an interesting form of communication. What I am referring to specifically, is my ah's communication through it. I am thinking you may find some humor in this. Is it just me or is he just trying to say that I am the one with the "problem" Last week, the morning after ou...	Loupiness	10	414	Jan 20, 2008 by carolinagirl
	For All The Ladies (Preview) She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. --Anais Nin How aptly these words describe the woman so many of us were. Many activities were not attempted, courses weren't taken, conversations w...	kissers	6	479	Jan 17, 2008 by ddub
	Inevitable..a knife in heart (Preview) I just dropped my grandbaby off to his mother following our second Wednesday night visitation routine. Last week was awful; she didn't let me drop him due to boyfriend being at her house. Today she said I could drop him; obviously boyfriend not there tonight. Son came for visit. I had told him don't co...	omajoy	13	695	Jan 17, 2008 by omajoy
	getting busy (Preview) I am really trying to use the tool of getting busy to get me through this time of transition. So far I have the following in hand: 1. On Saturday a class to go to on some things I need (its free) 2. Meeting a friend on the weekend (I am very very isolated) 3. meeting list for the weekend (I have promised myself I...	maresie	3	361	Jan 17, 2008 by Jean4444
	A blast from the past: "Emotional Incontinence" (Preview) One of my ex-best friends (an addict/alkie who relapsed and I had not heard from her in quite a while) just called and left me a very teary-eyed dramatic "I love you/I miss you" message on my VM (if there is one thing this program has taught me is to NOT ANSWER the phone when the A/Addicts call, l...	Jean4444	5	549	Jan 17, 2008 by david62
	Advice on dealing with in laws... (Preview) I need some advice. As I have posted in a previous post, my husband's drinking has caused him to have some legal problems, being that we are in a small town, lots of people know so it's only a matter of time before MIL finds out. I know how this is going to go when she finds out, she will harp on him about his...	tma0413	8	1980	Jan 17, 2008 by abbyal
	more on got a queston (Preview) thanks for all your thoughts,i did make the appt,and yes it is up to him,to tell the dentists of his addictions not mine..but i know he wont..his appt is sat morning.i will update you on what happens	bev	1	260	Jan 18, 2008 by optimistundone
	New Here, AH in rehab, what do I expect now? (Preview) My AH just entered a 28 day rehab program last week. What can I expect while he is there (will I have to attend therapy sessions at all), and what can I expect when he comes home (how he may act or how I should treat him)? I really hope this works for him and I want to do everything I can do to help him. I'm just afr...	momto4boys	5	618	Jan 20, 2008 by karena7
	lightbulb moment on the choice thing (Preview) As I was reading Barisaxes post it hit me. There is NO WAY we as non addicts can relate to how an addict feels anymore thant an addict relating to a non addict. Our idea of choice is totalling different than an A. I hear alllll the time, the A saying,they want to be "normal." They see how non addi...	debilyn	10	577	Jan 17, 2008 by debilyn
	Detach , detach, detach (Preview) I will detach, detach, detach. I will not call him. I will not email him. He's a grown man and can take care of himself. We are legally separated, and I am not responsible for him.... When he didn't call me on Tuesday (I had said I would take him shopping), I did a little research and found he'd been arr...	lmw	9	750	Jan 17, 2008 by Jerry F
	got a question (Preview) as many of you know,my SAH has been in recovery since feb 13 07...{besides drinking he was a drug addict}my SAH has a toothache and he wants me call and get an appt to have it removed,i know the dentist will give him something for the pain,i asked him lastnite,if he thinks it is a good thing to take narcotic...	bev	11	367	Jan 16, 2008 by lin0606
	why do I think like this? (Preview) It was good to finally put my thoughts down and receive all those heartfelt replies. Where would I be without Alanon. I can't wait for my next meeting. I told my AH the other day(trying to be honest) that I didn't like him anymore. I don't know if that is a wrong thing to say or what but he hasn't spoken to me s...	silverbrumby	11	764	Jan 17, 2008 by concerned123
	I Can Do Attitude (Preview) It is just as easy to think, "I can" as it is to think, "I can't." Both attitudes are habitual orientations to life that can become automatic with practice. Neither attitude has as much to do with the task at hand as it does with the inner spirit of the person facing the task. In eith...	kissers	7	246	Jan 17, 2008 by ddub
	Divorce and Decisions (Preview) I received divorce papers last week. I knew they were coming. We went to a counseling appt with the kids this afternoon to talk about it and it broke my heart. My 14 yr old son cried openly and my 10 yr old daughter sat silent, but cried herself to sleep tonight. It was suppposed to be an open communicati...	Loupiness	11	477	Jan 17, 2008 by ddub
	Hope (Preview) I just thought a bit of an update might be nice. My AH and I had one of those days today. You know the ones that blow the lid off the pressure cooker. The one that the other shoe doesn't just drop, it slams to the floor like a CA earthquake. It was one of those days that no matter what either of us did, nothing wen...	Jen	5	475	Jan 16, 2008 by Jill
	This annoying thing he says (Preview) Ever since way back when he was still in recovery he used to say... "For an addict, thinking is doing. If the addict thinks about taking a hit, it's already done. It might be later that day, or years away" I used to think this was some sort of recovery philosophy. But I wonder now if there is any s...	RainyJamie	8	636	Jan 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	New here... (Preview) Hi all, I am brand new here. I am 23 year old mother of a 2.5 year old daughter. And I am the wife of a drug addict. My husband has been addicted to pain meds for over 3 years. He has been in 5 car accidents (1 of which was very serious and caused the early birth of our daughter) and has 2 DUIs (he would have 1 more, b...	Laurenlou	9	647	Dec 20, 2008 by faithhopelove
	I am so terrified... (Preview) I have been lurking. I have read about being detached and how a lot of the things I'm doing to/for my AH are wrong or at least not helpful to him. I try to be his friend and guide him towrds doing what he has told me he wants. He wants to stop. He actually said it, I couldn't breathe, and he did it. For one day. Sti...	twnzmama	13	683	Jan 18, 2008 by Peggy7
	Can someone explain to me how to detach!? (Preview) I am tired of all the lies. AH tells me things b/c he knows it's what i want to hear. They are all lies. THen when I do confront him about something, he seems to forget what he told me and comes up with a whole new story. I am trying so hard to just ignore him, like a member of my al-anon group suggested, but i...	desperate for help	11	662	Jan 16, 2008 by glad lee
	STAY... (Preview) I know this song is about "the other woman" but it describes how I feel about my AH right now. I substitute "beer" and "drinking" for any references to "her" or "she". Stay: by Sugarland I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall And...	Becky1	6	450	Jan 16, 2008 by Rita G
	Question for those with kids who left? (Preview) I am planning on filing for divorce. My AH is not an out of control drunk, but the years of drug abuse, drinking, in addition to his own personal baggage have contributed to his mental instability. Plus I don't need to stay around to see how bad it could get. I have a meeting with an attorney in a we...	anon4this	8	558	Jan 16, 2008 by lmw
	When is it controlling? (Preview) I am at work so just wanted to write quickly. I did take my personal laptop in for repair so hopefully I get back in soon. I am tempted to telling my A who is running from the police to turn himself in, to go ahead and face consequences, go to rehab, and give his child some opportunity to get to know him. Do yo...	Codependent	7	447	Jan 17, 2008 by Jerry F
	time crunch (Preview) I am in this dilemma. The job I am in is ending in a few weeks. I will have to go out and interview. They are not clear on my job when it is exactly ending. I imagine that it will go over a week or so if I wanted it too. The issue is I am totally burned out with working long hours and communting. I'd really rather s...	maresie	1	211	Jan 15, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Contrasting As (Preview) This post is a spin off something I just read in another thread which asked why some alcoholics are functioning, working, productive and others get close to, or actually get to skid row. I've been thinking about this a lot lately in regard to the A's in my life. My ah - Very covert in his use. So m...	Loupiness	7	366	Jan 17, 2008 by Jerry F
	humor mix posting -- and brownie cake recipe ... (Preview) Hi boys and girls of my al anon family, I hope y'all r well and hopefully all is well here also! Now, by request ( perhaps following the week of happy chatroom chats ) the following then is posted.. at the close of the awards is a favorite brownie cake recipe: A brownie cake recipe:To begin, this recipe cal...	getoverit	0	399	Jan 15, 2008 by getoverit
	Over involved /under invovled (Preview) Two of my roommates are really over involved with each other. One of them is a person I rely on to get a ride now and again. Neverthless her total preoccupation with the other person is nauseating to say the least (I know this reminds me of me). If I don't seem interested she is annoyed because she is abs...	maresie	1	479	Jan 17, 2008 by maresie
	FINALLY "LET GO OF ALCOHOLIC" (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))) Thought I would share with you, as you know, I have had Alcoholics in my life. One I had a "kind of relationship" with. For twenty two years he has been in my life as a "neighbour", "friend", "big brother",...	ally	6	639	Jan 17, 2008 by Jerry F
	I had this email in my inbox this morning... (Preview) Wed Jan 9, 1:18 AM ET DES MOINES, Iowa - Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the 'meanest mom on the planet.' After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone by placing an ad in the local newspaper. The ad reads: 'OLDS 1999 Intrigue. To...	carolinagirl	13	582	Jan 16, 2008 by cookie1971
	Disease or choice? (Preview) Now, i know that alcoholism is a disease. The medical community says so, everysone says so. but sometimes i get so mad at my A because most people when they are sick, get treatment. I still have so much to learn about this disease and want to stop being so mad at my A. There has to be some level of choice i...	concerned123	21	806	Jan 19, 2008 by Karilynn
	What I wish.... (Preview) ....Is that WE WERE ALL close enough to one another to just jump in our cars , walk or run...and all meet somewhere right now, this very minute! I have been trying and ACTING like I'm so strong since I left my husband, and I don't know why...but lately...these past weeks leading up to the first anniversar...	afmom03	7	341	Jan 15, 2008 by xcskier
	Narcotics Anonymous? (Preview) My husband has recently started attending NA. Is this the right place for me?	RedRose17	6	1175	Jan 16, 2008 by QOD
	Abusing the animals (a new low) (Preview) A few years ago the A wanted one of his friends to be able to come and practically live at our house. He wanted his friend to have access to the house 24/7 and use the driveway that is totally block the driveway and my access to it 24/7 for 6 months. At the time I virulently objected to it. When I was objectin...	maresie	4	502	Jan 15, 2008 by maresie
	courage (Preview) Hi this is my first post. I have been a member for a year. Alanon has helped me to see things more clearly and the fellowship and understanding is wonderful. I am praying for courage as I never thought that I was afraid. God showed me recently that I am very afraid. I have been hanging on to something for fea...	silverbrumby	8	346	Jan 15, 2008 by silverbrumby
	interview got cancelled (Preview) My interview was cancelled they want me to be available to start work tomorrow. I guess there is always a catch 22. When I was unemployed I couldn't get a job to save my life. Now I am employed no one wants me to give notice! I am keeping on keeping on. I sent in the fee for my dog license today. Both dogs are co...	maresie	4	402	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	will there ever be a chance (Preview) The more I read about everyone's experiences the less I see my life will ever go back on track. My ex abf is in a treatment center, my life has been turned upside down over the past two years with him and now he is finally getting the help I pleaded with him to get (after our relationship ended.) I don't know...	kari80	6	517	Jan 15, 2008 by Jean4444
	another interview tomorrow (Preview) I am going on another interview tomorrow. Its in a University which should be exempt from the recession thats looming. I am thinking the recession may help me in some ways. Apartments are coming available, the rent is dropping, pretty soon I will find a place that will let me in with the dogs, bad cre...	maresie	0	246	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	Listening vs Suggesting vs Advice Giving (Preview) We often say in Alanon that we shouldn't give advice, or tell anyone what to do - just share our experience, strength, and hope. Of course that means we give advice/suggestions all the time. Sometimes more benignly than others, but... we do it. We're not perfect. I think it's partly a Mars/Venus thi...	barisax	7	731	Jan 16, 2008 by barisax
	update (Preview) hi all.i had my biopsy sat,my arm hurts,and i have 6 stitches..SAH HAD THE WEEKEND OFF WORK,{acually he has every weekend off}but he didnt want to take me,so i called a friend and she went with me to drive me back home, i got on the computer sat nite for few min and now i know why he didnt go he wanted to look at...	bev	3	409	Jan 15, 2008 by cookie1971
	pride, ego and vanity (Preview) Not posted for a while, but feeling really mixed up at the moment I think its to do with resentments, ego and my pride and still some unhealthy thinking patterns. My aboyf now ex! decided to behave in an unbearable manner which caused a lot of upsets and rows almost as though he was trying to get me to kick h...	chick29	1	616	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	working it or letting go (Preview) I keep wondering about lots of things and maybe you have too. Looking for esh as my head hurts from turning things over and over again. One thing I wonder is how do you know when to quit trying to figure things out and letting go, letting HP. Maybe just stopping the wondering is good and give it all up to HP...	ddub	2	429	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	denial...him and me (Preview) I'm new here. I have this sort of ex-boyfriend, who keeps coming back, when he's the one that ended it. He was a non drinking alcoholic (or whatever you call it) when we were together. Recently he has started drinking again, and leaning on me. He just spent a week with me after asking if he could come h...	xcskier	5	321	Jan 14, 2008 by xcskier
	where's Debilyn? (Preview) Hey, you, if you are reading this please send a sign! Hugs, missing your thoughts/words, J.	Jean4444	1	261	Jan 13, 2008 by round3
	I need help (Preview) I never know if what I do is right. My son is 26 has suffered from severe depression, crashed his car into a tree. It burst into flames. He was able to get out to go to jail. We didn't get him for 4 days and they had him on suicide watch. He moved home and started going to AA. He did well for about 6 months, He h...	digby	13	365	Jan 16, 2008 by round3
	my own marriage (Preview) I have spent today pacing and asking my HP to stop me from any action. So far I haven't done a thing. No phone ringing, but I wasn't going to answer anyway. Final call today from son was "she (His EX) is threatening to call sherriff on me" and he hung up. I hope he isn't in a cell right now because sh...	omajoy	2	531	Jan 13, 2008 by Jen
	Catching Myself 'Mothering' my AH (Preview) I was wondering if any of you have this same challenge to overcome: Mothering your A. I'm separated from my recovering AH, although we see each other on weekends (usually). We have two grown children, both in their early 30s. I have no difficulty not giving them unsolicited advice. For example, o...	stormie	8	576	Jan 13, 2008 by stormie
	Just heard a friend has died...feel as tho the stuffing has been knocked out of me... (Preview) What a difference a hour can make. Just heard a dear friend has died suddenly and I feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me... Just bursting with grieve and shock. She was only 41, and so full of life and love. Cannot get my head around this. Doesn't help because I have no one here to talk to. I rea...	Heartbroken	10	581	Jan 16, 2008 by Heartbroken
	drama making me sicker this morning (Preview) As I type, I am fighting just collaspsing. If anyone is on-line right now and can give me some help, please I need it. Our family drama with EXDIL, son has escalated into nasty communication between them. Son is angry with me as well because I try to talk sense into him. He is frantic that he's seen son onl...	omajoy	5	492	Jan 13, 2008 by abbyal
	I Am Going to Scream (Preview) Well, the silent treatment continues here. He went to work yesterday, it was just for a couple of hours, but he didn't call or come home from 8am, until 5pm, so I had made plans to go out with my friend who will soon be moving to Nashville. We have been friends thru thick and thin....25 years or so. As I w...	Becky1	7	535	Jan 14, 2008 by Becky1
	Burdens (Preview) (((((((Family))))), A very good morning and Happy Sunday to you all. After reading some posts, I thought this might help us all. It was yesterday's meditation from: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg (Hazelden 1991) This is an abbreviated version. Freedom means choos...	Karilynn	6	306	Jan 14, 2008 by maresie
	The Serenity Prayer... with notations from me... (Preview) The Serenity Prayer by Reinold Niebuhr. Interpretation/understanding/perceptions - just one take on the meaning behind the words - not suggesting anyone else should interpret/understand/perceive this prayer as I do, I just thought I would share my perspective with you. by Heartbroken. God gr...	Heartbroken	3	450	Jan 14, 2008 by cookie1971
	Round and Round he goes (Preview) where he stops.....nobody knows. Nothing like the silent treatment for two days followed by a day of an engaged and semi-helpful spouse who decided to talk to me today. He thanked me for reaching out to him, and my response was "I know it wasn't me"...which set him into another "pen...	optimistundone	3	492	Jan 13, 2008 by Jean4444
	the interview (Preview) i went for the interview on Friday and I felt it went well. I could have done better on some questions but I think I did pretty well overall. I hope I manage to get in there. My current job is up in the air. They are looking for someone but they expect me to stick around for ever for that. I am not willing to. I'v...	maresie	2	301	Jan 13, 2008 by nmike
	The pity potty... (Preview) Well I woke up a little late; the wife had gone off to work and I thought she was shopping (wrong again Jerry F!!) and the weather was colder than normal (who can I blame for that?) Before rushing off to the "Super Saturday" AFG face to face meeting I had to do pity potty duty. I sat there thin...	Jerry F	12	868	Jan 14, 2008 by leggo456
	Why its so hard to put ourselves first...? (Preview) I have been thinking that one of the reasons why its so hard for me to put myself first is because I was born and raised watching the A's in my life do the same thing through their disease/addiction. I have found this so abhorrent, this inability of them to see that they put their alcohol/drugs/whatever f...	Jean4444	7	622	Jan 14, 2008 by cookie1971
	Birthday Report! (Preview) I have had an unbelievable birthday. I went on a date for lunch with a guy I met online and he FLEW in to take me out. He shows up with a dozen roses. Come to find out he's a millionaire. And then he buys me a new GPS as a gift. On the first date. I'm a little wary but being glad for today going so well and as so...	carolinagirl	9	374	Jan 12, 2008 by cookie1971
	I feel like I'm becoming the monster (Preview) My therapist has been recommending that I attend al anon meetings for sometime now, but with my one and a half year old and my full time university experience i find myself with little free time. I have been with my partner for a little over two years and emotionally and mentally i find myself giving up....	wahineal	6	696	Jan 13, 2008 by serendipity
	Should I tell? (Preview) i was wondering, should i tell my A that I have found this site and begun reaching out for my own help? I feel a little guilty keeping a secret from him. I have even save it in my favorite places under a fake name so he won't find it. Should i share this info or do you guys think it would be better to keep this j...	concerned123	15	714	Jan 15, 2008 by debilyn
	Wow...I am so humbled by your kindness and candor... (Preview) Thank you all so very much for your heartfelt honesty and warm welcome. You truly made me feel welcome and comfortable - in such a way that I haven't felt in years. As I'm sure you all know - having kids can change your life. Being involved with an alcoholic changes it further. Separating from or divorc...	mrcjschu	5	2484	Jan 12, 2008 by cookie1971
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.