Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

omajoy · omajoy

Just finished keeping my grandchild for three days/nights while his mother went out of state to funeral of her grandmother. Son here to help us...no problems. Everyone fine. Last night EXDIL called to say the following: "I need to make some changes. I need for you to take _____ to school day-...

debilyn · debilyn

You may not believe this is alanon related but it is. Because of alanon I can remind myself one day at a time, the serenity prayer and more. The service I give to my animal sanctuary is all about my hp. I could not do what i do with out the support of hp. So in saying that, this is a piece of my life...the down and...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...I have been away from the family for the last week because I was struggling with the power of the spoken word...realising that some can be so horribly cruel, others can be so incrediblly healing whilst the absence of a softly spoken word can be devastating. Humility seems to be the one lesson that I a...

ally · ally

KT Tunstall - Saving My Face Lyrics See The Look On My Face From Staying Too Long In One Place But Every Time I Try To Leave I Find I Keep On Stalling Feel Like A Big Old Stone Standing By A Strength Of My Own But Every Time The Morning Breaks I Know Im Closer To Falling Im All Out Of Love, All Out Of Faith I Would Gi...

kissers · kissers

I love watching films with Julia Roberts. I especially loved the film, Runaway Bride. There was something about that movie that just resonated with me. Duh!! She grew up having to take care of her alcoholic father and lost herself so much she didn't know who she was, what she liked, what she wanted to do...

debilyn · debilyn

thank you to the ones who responded to my post. It helped me big time. Paws I liked your joke you nut. Jen it was good to hear from you. How is our beasty Sully? I wish you would at least write us an update what you are up to. cookie you are such warm person. thankyou sooooo much for your words. My home is Potter...

spirit · spirit

Hi, since it is not cool for me to go out to events without getting accused of something, is there an online Sponsor or is it here in the forum? thank you.

spirit · spirit

hi everyone, my head is pounding. i came home and brought dinner only to find drunk and i knew, watch what and how i say things. i bought something for myself and showed him. i was happy today, i got asked Who bought that for you? where did you get it? then it got worse with the tears, him saying i dont care abo...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

He came back this afternoon after leaving at 5:30 am for his dad's. I toldhim that I cannot control him or what he does but I can control myself and the things that I do. After some tears, it boils down to that his cousin came and picked him up. He packed up a few bags of clothing and toiletries and is now g...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Lately, my ah has started giving gratitude and apologies for little things that happen, and I don't always know how to respond. The "thank yous" are pretty easy, for "your welcome" is an automatic answer, but I get stuck on the apologies. Examples: Last night my ah came and pick...

sadako · sadako

he will be getting out, very shortly. he just called and asked me, "what do you need from me to feel safe if i come home?" i said, i need to know he has a plan to deal with stress far before it comes to feelings of suicide, and also i need to know he has a plan in case he feels suicidal. he says he does ha...

carolena · carolena

Hi, Everyone - I'm glad to be back home from my trip to WV. While there, I read posts when I could but was using library computers most of which were blocked from using forums ugh!). I went there alone and really enjoyed being away from my annoying (dry, not sober) ah. I really neede...

omajoy · omajoy

I am so glad to be writing 2008 this week. Last year was the absolutely worst of my 65 year old life. I was so down and out over the holidays with our relationship between us and ex- DIL so bad and the grandbaby the center of our concerns. The past three days we had the child and his daddy (our "binge-p...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

I hear the door opening at 5:30 am. He's sneaking back in again. I go in the living room and ask him to be quieter because our stepson and I are trying to sleep. He gets mad. I walk away and go back to bed. I hear the pill bottles rattling. After a few minutes, AH comes into the bedroom and turns on the li...

wbfox58 · wbfox58

http://www.baltimoresun2.com/talk/showthread.php?t=129863

ranbrew · ranbrew

I am very old, and very computer illiterate, I am having trouble getting to the Cht/Mtg room can any one help Thank you

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have noticed myself feeling slightly bitter and resentful of the fact that I have to spend money that SHOULD go to our kids just to be rid of HIM. I think partially because I feel like I'm already working two jobs just to get by and thinking where's the money gonna come from? Also, I keep wishing for the...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just stopped myself from allowing the A to hurt me. I pretended he was about 3 inches tall and under a small glass dome kind of like a bug specimen. Because he was so small he was actually squeaking instead of making adult sounds. How 'bout that? J.

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/04/nyregion/04fall.html?th&emc=th

souljoy · souljoy

I have attended Alanon for a few months now and it really has helped me a lot. I see things in a clearer light now. The issues I am having with my AH are scary for me though. You see, I have not had a car in 4 months due to one of the cars breaking down and being unable to get fixed. It would cost too much to fix it and...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Yesterday I met with an attorney for my disability appeal. I told her I did not want to stay on disability the rest of my life but wanted to get my health problems straightened out as much as possible and complete my education that has been strung out over the years while raising two girls by myself. I just...

debilyn · debilyn

I have been working on figuring out what my loved ones gave me, and how to use it now. They loved me very much, I them too. All have passed now. But they had to have imprinted on me. So I have parts of them with me. I want to move on, not be so miserable because I miss them all so much. Somehow I need to make my life,...

sadako · sadako

"blargle" is my word for "i can't believe i just heard that, that is so unbelievable that my brain cells are melting." i called one of my A's friends, a mutual friend who runs a prayer circle. i debated a long time before calling, but i knew i couldn't stay alone with this. so i did it...

newbieG · newbieG

Its been going on for over a dozen years, my little sister who was my closest friend growing up, has been addicted to crack cocaine. I have assisted her, gave her money, typical enabling traits - she lost a kid years back to the state due to her addiction. She's put herself through the worst you can imagi...

glad lee · glad lee

Hi Family, I was posting here a year ago, but I became suspicious that my H was somehow reading them. So, I focused on my f2f meetings instead. I am grateful to be back and feeling like I can voice myself a little better now. I feel the need to process tonight.... Last Fall, my AH surprised me by getti...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am fairly certain now that my days on this particular job are numbered. I have two months at most here. I had a good interview last week for a job that's much nearer to my home and with better hours. I feel scared to even hope to get it. I have been so devastated by not getting jobs in the past. I know I got t...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

At the encouragement and love I got from my last check in post, here goes another... I was watching Super Nanny last night; usually I don't, but it was a change in pace. the family reminded me of my own family, where the adults feel as if they are so completely independent of the children that the child...

bev · bev

hi all been 9 days since i posted..just need prayers for my daughter and unborn granddaughter.she has 9 weeks to go.but she is having problems..she has already started to dilate she is at 2 centimeters..she has been having lower back pain..the doctor she saw today,said the baby isnt gaining alot of w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I have been calling lawyer's offices all afternoon "shopping around" for a reasonable lawyer. I think that might be an oxymoron. I have a few that have said around $500 which I feel is fair considering he's in JAIL and won't be showing up! I would type up the papers and file them myself i...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

Through many of the responses to my previous posts, I have been told that a rule of thumb for alanon is to wait 6 months before making a life changing decision. The decision that I am pondering is a divorce. I told my AH about alanon 6 months and he said to f*** it and let's make it 3 months. If things didn...

lebe27 · lebe27

Friends, It has been awhile. Thought I would check in for the new year. Husband has been sober 6 months now - a record for him (his streach of sobriety began right after court problems in Rhode Island were cleared up). Doing totally for himself. No court order or anything. We have also been doing ma...

maresie · maresie

Last summer I was pulled into rescing the A when he ended up homeless, ill and desitute. Admittely there was a huge hook in there for me because he had our pet dogs and he still had the truck I had spent so much money buying (I had literally finished making the payments last January). For me though it was w...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Opening our Hearts Transforming our Losses is the latest Alanon book and it is listed at $14.00. It's worth 14 million dollars. For those who are grieving (and we all are from being affected by this diseasse) the loss of relationships, please RUN, do not walk and purchase this book. We are not alone...

dgm · dgm

My son's father has finally gone to treatment, not sure if its because the court was going to order it anyway or if he really wanted to go. He wants his mother to bring our child to see him and said that I could come to if I wanted. Also said I was invited to come to the family day (if I want to go). So I guess my...

sadako · sadako

i have no experience with suicide, my boyfriend A wants to come home after his suicide attempt, he called this morning and told me he might be out this afternoon. i told him "let's talk and we'll see" and he sounded okay with that. i need to know ... do people who attempt suicide, which i consid...

serendipity · serendipity

I am all 4 at the moment. I am not sure how to start, maybe feed myself. I took the kids to school today as it is so cold here. On my way to drop the 13 yr old I saw a woman running and I thought "wow, that's not very healthy. It's -10 out." But I didn't say anything. I saw her again after dropping the 13y...

Leetle · Leetle

((((((((((((((((((((Maria123)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you all the best on your birthday!

mlynn · mlynn

So here I am, the newest member to your board. I've been an Al-Anon member for 4 years, and my life has improved in innumerable ways, but it isn't always happy, joyous and free, and tonight's one of those nights. It's 2:30 in the morning, and I'm wide awake, trying to keep the demons at bay. It seems like...

optimistundone · optimistundone

Here are mine....please post yours as we head into a new year in recovery. 1) I can find my self-esteem again. 2) I can recover from depression. 3) I cannot control the A. 4) I can breathe again regardless of what the A does or does not do. 5) therapy is not so bad. 6) My friends are truly amazing people. 7) I a...

texasproud2005 · texasproud2005

Not with my A, but with my A father. I wrote earlier about how he got drunk on Christmas Eve and missed Christmas morning with the kids. This was something he was looking forward to for a long time. I never said anything to him about it. I knew he regretted it. I've noticed since then he hasn't gotten dr...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Really, I mean, one that I could go to Hell for? If I believed in that? Or even if I didn't? He was driving all crazy, drifting this way, that way, closing his eyes at the intersections. I offered to drive, he refused. He started to tell me to SHUT UP!! and I told him to just let me out here, thank you very much,...

maresie · maresie

One of my house mates closely resembles the A in many many ways. He is addicted to playing games on the internet. I'll swear the A spent 4 of the 7 years we were together absolutely glued to the computer. Last January he spent the whole month playing games and didn't work. This housemate also has a real...

Paws · Paws

YES! I SAID I DONT WANT A PROGRAM BUT I DID NOT SAY I DIDNT NEED IT. LAST NIGHT A RAGING PYCHO EXPLODED IN MY HEAD AND I ACTUALLY TORE OPEN MY SOUL AND DESTROYED EVERYTHING AROUND ME UNTIL I COULD NO LONGER TELL WHAT ROOM I WAS STANDING IN. LUCKILY IT WAS THE SPARE BEDROOM THAT WE HARDLY USE. I BUSTED M...

albertarose · albertarose

It's been awhile since I posted. I am very active in my home town f2f meetings 3 times a week. One of them being an open AA meeting. Over the past 16 months since being in the program I am closing my mouth and listening and learning. I am reaching out to other members as well as my sponser. I spoke with my spone...

maresie · maresie

I have had a relationship with a friend of mine (he is an ex boyfriend) who has many addiction issues for over 7 years. During that time sometimes he has been there for me. He gave me $500 earlier this year. At other times he has been incredibly controling and dismissive. After letting the A go and havin...

maire rua · maire rua

Today I got some very sad news. A family friend has died suddenly. My ex-A who still stays with me rang me and was quite judgemental about it all as usual. My friend was a heavy smoker. He and his wife were exceptionally good to me when I was expecting my second child. At that time my ex-A went around a small l...

Chetch · Chetch

Hi All, My AH has been sober for 2 months now, after being in a locked detox facility for a week and getting a DUI. He has until 3/15/08 to complete a 7 week, three time per week intensive out patient alcohol program by order of the Court. He said to me Saturday night that he had thought about having a coupl...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok, I finally did it. I talked to a lawyer! He said that it would probably cost me around $1500 to do the divorce assuming the A doesn't contest it. That seemed high to me... Then he went on about charging $250 an hr. I proceeded to ask him how about you tell me what to do, I do all the forms and bring them b...

sadako · sadako

my boyfriend really did mean to hang himself last night! he failed. i just got the call from the hospital to bring him some clothing. his neck is injured. no other details than that. why did i ask him to leave, why did i kick him out last night??????????? i have no idea how to deal with this!!! i am alone with...

kissers · kissers

My ex sent me an email threatening to show up at my house. He thinks no contact from me is me punishing him. I really don't know if I should keep my eye out and wait for him to leave if he is out front of my home before pulling in or go about my business as usual. I don't even know what to say to him if he does show up....

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

After all the support that I have been receiving from you guys (thank you thank you thank you!!!!!), I mustered up enough strength to talk to my AH. I told him that I was using this message board and would be trying very hard to work on understanding his addiction and behaviors and what would be some bett...

sadako · sadako

i apologize in advance for this being so long! i posted earlier on this board about what my A was doing/saying, and got some excellent advice (i'm sorry i'm not better about posting thank you's!). a lot of it i had gone through way back with a codependent partner, in counseling, so i just lived my life and...

TXSusan · TXSusan

I left him August. but not really. The final straw was the day after my father's funeral. My oldest son caught him in the hot tub with "company" while I was still out of town going through my father's home. The AH's reaction? That I should explain to my children that adults are allowed ad...

kissers · kissers

My ex has been calling and e-mailing me. I haven't answered any e-mails or calls. I won't do it anymore. One of his e-mails said he was worried about me. I wanted to believe it, but the reality is it is not true. I keep praying to God that he will seek help. I don't want to see anything bad happen to him. I wish...

david62 · david62

Hello everyone! This sunday at 9pm est, will be our next monthly business meeting. The meeting will be held in the chat room. All are welcome to attend! As of now there is no new business on the agenda. If anyone has a topic they would possibly like to have placed on the agenda, please send me a private me...

david62 · david62

Happy New Year ((((Family))))) I woke up this morning like I have every morning for the last 45 years. For that, as I am every morning, I am grateful. I slept in late because I had been up late celebrating New Years Eve with a few friends at my house. We played some games, shared fellowship and even danced a...

Tammy2 · Tammy2

Well, It's the 2nd Life that alcohol has claimed in my life in the past 5 weeks. I lost a dear friend on Thanksgiving to an alcohol and prescription drug overdose. Now here it is Jan 1, 2008 and I just got word that my cousin's husband was killed in an alcohol related car accident sometime late last night or...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting before Thanksgiving and felt pretty good about it. It helped me a lot. I haven't been able to get back because my AH crashed my car and insurance is slow so I haven't been able to get a new car yet. I decided to go to a meeting because for the past three years, whatever I tr...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((((Friends)))))), I got such a kick out of this and hope you do as well. For those of you, like me, who love the computer forum and are grateful to have it to supplement our face to face program, this'll make you laugh. LIVING WILL Last night my daughter and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, &qu...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))), Good morning and Happy New Year! I got to thinking last night that we all urge each other to do something extra nice for ourselves, take care of ourselves or treat ourselves to something extra special. Well after the holidays that can be an expensive venture or maybe we just do...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	drama continues (Preview) Just finished keeping my grandchild for three days/nights while his mother went out of state to funeral of her grandmother. Son here to help us...no problems. Everyone fine. Last night EXDIL called to say the following: "I need to make some changes. I need for you to take _____ to school day-...	omajoy	6	483	Jan 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
	beware explicit pig story (c: (Preview) You may not believe this is alanon related but it is. Because of alanon I can remind myself one day at a time, the serenity prayer and more. The service I give to my animal sanctuary is all about my hp. I could not do what i do with out the support of hp. So in saying that, this is a piece of my life...the down and...	debilyn	8	596	Jan 7, 2008 by debilyn
	The power of the spoken word.... (Preview) ...I have been away from the family for the last week because I was struggling with the power of the spoken word...realising that some can be so horribly cruel, others can be so incrediblly healing whilst the absence of a softly spoken word can be devastating. Humility seems to be the one lesson that I a...	Heartbroken	3	422	Jan 6, 2008 by Maria123
	LISTEN TO THIS SONG:: (Preview) KT Tunstall - Saving My Face Lyrics See The Look On My Face From Staying Too Long In One Place But Every Time I Try To Leave I Find I Keep On Stalling Feel Like A Big Old Stone Standing By A Strength Of My Own But Every Time The Morning Breaks I Know Im Closer To Falling Im All Out Of Love, All Out Of Faith I Would Gi...	ally	6	450	Jan 8, 2008 by getoverit
	Funny Realization (Preview) I love watching films with Julia Roberts. I especially loved the film, Runaway Bride. There was something about that movie that just resonated with me. Duh!! She grew up having to take care of her alcoholic father and lost herself so much she didn't know who she was, what she liked, what she wanted to do...	kissers	6	1133	Jan 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	brrrrr frozen Eden (Preview) thank you to the ones who responded to my post. It helped me big time. Paws I liked your joke you nut. Jen it was good to hear from you. How is our beasty Sully? I wish you would at least write us an update what you are up to. cookie you are such warm person. thankyou sooooo much for your words. My home is Potter...	debilyn	1	366	Jan 6, 2008 by Christy
	Is there such a thing as Online Sponsers? (Preview) Hi, since it is not cool for me to go out to events without getting accused of something, is there an online Sponsor or is it here in the forum? thank you.	spirit	3	435	Jan 9, 2008 by nycbt
	I hate the weekends (Preview) hi everyone, my head is pounding. i came home and brought dinner only to find drunk and i knew, watch what and how i say things. i bought something for myself and showed him. i was happy today, i got asked Who bought that for you? where did you get it? then it got worse with the tears, him saying i dont care abo...	spirit	10	445	Jan 7, 2008 by spirit
	Surreal (Preview) He came back this afternoon after leaving at 5:30 am for his dad's. I toldhim that I cannot control him or what he does but I can control myself and the things that I do. After some tears, it boils down to that his cousin came and picked him up. He packed up a few bags of clothing and toiletries and is now g...	Lost but still trying	5	401	Jan 5, 2008 by carolinagirl
	How to respond? (Preview) Lately, my ah has started giving gratitude and apologies for little things that happen, and I don't always know how to respond. The "thank yous" are pretty easy, for "your welcome" is an automatic answer, but I get stuck on the apologies. Examples: Last night my ah came and pick...	Loupiness	7	491	Jan 5, 2008 by serendipity
	he's out of the hospital (Preview) he will be getting out, very shortly. he just called and asked me, "what do you need from me to feel safe if i come home?" i said, i need to know he has a plan to deal with stress far before it comes to feelings of suicide, and also i need to know he has a plan in case he feels suicidal. he says he does ha...	sadako	10	550	Jan 6, 2008 by Lost but still trying
	Carolena's back (Preview) Hi, Everyone - I'm glad to be back home from my trip to WV. While there, I read posts when I could but was using library computers most of which were blocked from using forums ugh!). I went there alone and really enjoyed being away from my annoying (dry, not sober) ah. I really neede...	carolena	5	494	Jan 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	purging 2007 (Preview) I am so glad to be writing 2008 this week. Last year was the absolutely worst of my 65 year old life. I was so down and out over the holidays with our relationship between us and ex- DIL so bad and the grandbaby the center of our concerns. The past three days we had the child and his daddy (our "binge-p...	omajoy	8	317	Jan 6, 2008 by Just For Now
	Gone (Preview) I hear the door opening at 5:30 am. He's sneaking back in again. I go in the living room and ask him to be quieter because our stepson and I are trying to sleep. He gets mad. I walk away and go back to bed. I hear the pill bottles rattling. After a few minutes, AH comes into the bedroom and turns on the li...	Lost but still trying	2	304	Jan 6, 2008 by Karilynn
	Bathing in ignorance (Preview) http://www.baltimoresun2.com/talk/showthread.php?t=129863	wbfox58	4	464	Jan 6, 2008 by carolena
	Help to go to mtgs (Preview) I am very old, and very computer illiterate, I am having trouble getting to the Cht/Mtg room can any one help Thank you	ranbrew	3	403	Mar 20, 2009 by ranbrew
	Resentment and bitterness creeping back in (Preview) I have noticed myself feeling slightly bitter and resentful of the fact that I have to spend money that SHOULD go to our kids just to be rid of HIM. I think partially because I feel like I'm already working two jobs just to get by and thinking where's the money gonna come from? Also, I keep wishing for the...	carolinagirl	9	568	Oct 10, 2008 by kellys_angels
	It works if you work it... (Preview) I just stopped myself from allowing the A to hurt me. I pretended he was about 3 inches tall and under a small glass dome kind of like a bug specimen. Because he was so small he was actually squeaking instead of making adult sounds. How 'bout that? J.	Jean4444	7	607	Jan 5, 2008 by sadako
	Believe in mericles! (Preview) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/04/nyregion/04fall.html?th&emc=th	Tiger2006	1	501	Jan 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	It's not easy (Preview) I have attended Alanon for a few months now and it really has helped me a lot. I see things in a clearer light now. The issues I am having with my AH are scary for me though. You see, I have not had a car in 4 months due to one of the cars breaking down and being unable to get fixed. It would cost too much to fix it and...	souljoy	5	670	Jan 5, 2008 by afglin
	Overcoming the fear (Preview) Yesterday I met with an attorney for my disability appeal. I told her I did not want to stay on disability the rest of my life but wanted to get my health problems straightened out as much as possible and complete my education that has been strung out over the years while raising two girls by myself. I just...	Tenderheartsks	8	481	Jan 5, 2008 by sadako
	venting (Preview) I have been working on figuring out what my loved ones gave me, and how to use it now. They loved me very much, I them too. All have passed now. But they had to have imprinted on me. So I have parts of them with me. I want to move on, not be so miserable because I miss them all so much. Somehow I need to make my life,...	debilyn	9	429	Jan 5, 2008 by cookie1971
	blargle! (Preview) "blargle" is my word for "i can't believe i just heard that, that is so unbelievable that my brain cells are melting." i called one of my A's friends, a mutual friend who runs a prayer circle. i debated a long time before calling, but i knew i couldn't stay alone with this. so i did it...	sadako	4	367	Jan 5, 2008 by sadako
	New member, my story and a turning point... (Preview) Its been going on for over a dozen years, my little sister who was my closest friend growing up, has been addicted to crack cocaine. I have assisted her, gave her money, typical enabling traits - she lost a kid years back to the state due to her addiction. She's put herself through the worst you can imagi...	newbieG	6	544	Jan 4, 2008 by serendipity
	Processing Life w/a Crazymaker (Preview) Hi Family, I was posting here a year ago, but I became suspicious that my H was somehow reading them. So, I focused on my f2f meetings instead. I am grateful to be back and feeling like I can voice myself a little better now. I feel the need to process tonight.... Last Fall, my AH surprised me by getti...	glad lee	5	602	Jan 5, 2008 by carolena
	looking for work again (Preview) I am fairly certain now that my days on this particular job are numbered. I have two months at most here. I had a good interview last week for a job that's much nearer to my home and with better hours. I feel scared to even hope to get it. I have been so devastated by not getting jobs in the past. I know I got t...	maresie2	3	406	Jan 4, 2008 by maresie2
	just in a major transition period..hanging on for serenity (Preview) At the encouragement and love I got from my last check in post, here goes another... I was watching Super Nanny last night; usually I don't, but it was a change in pace. the family reminded me of my own family, where the adults feel as if they are so completely independent of the children that the child...	Tiger2006	3	475	Jan 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	prayers needed (Preview) hi all been 9 days since i posted..just need prayers for my daughter and unborn granddaughter.she has 9 weeks to go.but she is having problems..she has already started to dilate she is at 2 centimeters..she has been having lower back pain..the doctor she saw today,said the baby isnt gaining alot of w...	bev	11	617	Jan 7, 2008 by mel123
	Feeling DRAINED and IRRITATED (Preview) So I have been calling lawyer's offices all afternoon "shopping around" for a reasonable lawyer. I think that might be an oxymoron. I have a few that have said around $500 which I feel is fair considering he's in JAIL and won't be showing up! I would type up the papers and file them myself i...	carolinagirl	8	435	Jan 6, 2008 by Just For Now
	The magical "6 months" (Preview) Through many of the responses to my previous posts, I have been told that a rule of thumb for alanon is to wait 6 months before making a life changing decision. The decision that I am pondering is a divorce. I told my AH about alanon 6 months and he said to f*** it and let's make it 3 months. If things didn...	Lost but still trying	9	775	Jan 4, 2008 by stormie
	Six Months and counting (well not really) (Preview) Friends, It has been awhile. Thought I would check in for the new year. Husband has been sober 6 months now - a record for him (his streach of sobriety began right after court problems in Rhode Island were cleared up). Doing totally for himself. No court order or anything. We have also been doing ma...	lebe27	4	551	Jan 3, 2008 by Christy
	Rescuing (Preview) Last summer I was pulled into rescing the A when he ended up homeless, ill and desitute. Admittely there was a huge hook in there for me because he had our pet dogs and he still had the truck I had spent so much money buying (I had literally finished making the payments last January). For me though it was w...	maresie	5	306	Jan 3, 2008 by maresie2
	Latest Book (Preview) *Opening our Hearts Transforming our Losses* is the latest Alanon book and it is listed at $14.00. It's worth 14 million dollars. For those who are grieving (and we all are from being affected by this diseasse) the loss of relationships, please RUN, do not walk and purchase this book. We are not alone...	NANUKE	4	284	Jan 4, 2008 by debilyn
	Finally in treatment (Preview) My son's father has finally gone to treatment, not sure if its because the court was going to order it anyway or if he really wanted to go. He wants his mother to bring our child to see him and said that I could come to if I wanted. Also said I was invited to come to the family day (if I want to go). So I guess my...	dgm	4	315	Jan 4, 2008 by lin0606
	he wants to come home, what could happen? (Preview) i have no experience with suicide, my boyfriend A wants to come home after his suicide attempt, he called this morning and told me he might be out this afternoon. i told him "let's talk and we'll see" and he sounded okay with that. i need to know ... do people who attempt suicide, which i consid...	sadako	12	586	Jan 5, 2008 by optimistundone
	H.A.L.T......vent (Preview) I am all 4 at the moment. I am not sure how to start, maybe feed myself. I took the kids to school today as it is so cold here. On my way to drop the 13 yr old I saw a woman running and I thought "wow, that's not very healthy. It's -10 out." But I didn't say anything. I saw her again after dropping the 13y...	serendipity	8	329	Jan 6, 2008 by Just For Now
	hApPy BiRtHdAy WiShEs To............. (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((Maria123)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you all the best on your birthday!	Leetle	9	612	Jan 4, 2008 by Maria123
	Another sleepless night... (Preview) So here I am, the newest member to your board. I've been an Al-Anon member for 4 years, and my life has improved in innumerable ways, but it isn't always happy, joyous and free, and tonight's one of those nights. It's 2:30 in the morning, and I'm wide awake, trying to keep the demons at bay. It seems like...	mlynn	6	541	Jan 3, 2008 by maresie2
	What did lessons you learn this year? (Preview) Here are mine....please post yours as we head into a new year in recovery. 1) I can find my self-esteem again. 2) I can recover from depression. 3) I cannot control the A. 4) I can breathe again regardless of what the A does or does not do. 5) therapy is not so bad. 6) My friends are truly amazing people. 7) I a...	optimistundone	10	570	Jan 5, 2008 by sissy
	Something good is happening (Preview) Not with my A, but with my A father. I wrote earlier about how he got drunk on Christmas Eve and missed Christmas morning with the kids. This was something he was looking forward to for a long time. I never said anything to him about it. I knew he regretted it. I've noticed since then he hasn't gotten dr...	texasproud2005	2	373	Jan 2, 2008 by nmike
	Is it a sin to wish him dead? (Preview) Really, I mean, one that I could go to Hell for? If I believed in that? Or even if I didn't? He was driving all crazy, drifting this way, that way, closing his eyes at the intersections. I offered to drive, he refused. He started to tell me to SHUT UP!! and I told him to just let me out here, thank you very much,...	RainyJamie	19	4671	Jan 4, 2008 by leo
	drama rama (Preview) One of my house mates closely resembles the A in many many ways. He is addicted to playing games on the internet. I'll swear the A spent 4 of the 7 years we were together absolutely glued to the computer. Last January he spent the whole month playing games and didn't work. This housemate also has a real...	maresie	6	402	Jan 3, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	mURDER dEATH kILL! mE OR hIM? (Preview) YES! I SAID I DONT WANT A PROGRAM BUT I DID NOT SAY I DIDNT NEED IT. LAST NIGHT A RAGING PYCHO EXPLODED IN MY HEAD AND I ACTUALLY TORE OPEN MY SOUL AND DESTROYED EVERYTHING AROUND ME UNTIL I COULD NO LONGER TELL WHAT ROOM I WAS STANDING IN. LUCKILY IT WAS THE SPARE BEDROOM THAT WE HARDLY USE. I BUSTED M...	Paws	8	1126	Jan 4, 2008 by Paws
	Trying to work my program (Preview) It's been awhile since I posted. I am very active in my home town f2f meetings 3 times a week. One of them being an open AA meeting. Over the past 16 months since being in the program I am closing my mouth and listening and learning. I am reaching out to other members as well as my sponser. I spoke with my spone...	albertarose	3	479	Jan 2, 2008 by Christy
	controlling behavior (Preview) I have had a relationship with a friend of mine (he is an ex boyfriend) who has many addiction issues for over 7 years. During that time sometimes he has been there for me. He gave me $500 earlier this year. At other times he has been incredibly controling and dismissive. After letting the A go and havin...	maresie	1	931	Jan 2, 2008 by Lost but still trying
	So Judgemental (Preview) Today I got some very sad news. A family friend has died suddenly. My ex-A who still stays with me rang me and was quite judgemental about it all as usual. My friend was a heavy smoker. He and his wife were exceptionally good to me when I was expecting my second child. At that time my ex-A went around a small l...	maire rua	5	320	Jan 3, 2008 by maresie2
	How do I deal with this?? (Preview) Hi All, My AH has been sober for 2 months now, after being in a locked detox facility for a week and getting a DUI. He has until 3/15/08 to complete a 7 week, three time per week intensive out patient alcohol program by order of the Court. He said to me Saturday night that he had thought about having a coupl...	Chetch	10	532	Jan 2, 2008 by abbyal
	I called a lawyer (Preview) Ok, I finally did it. I talked to a lawyer! He said that it would probably cost me around $1500 to do the divorce assuming the A doesn't contest it. That seemed high to me... Then he went on about charging $250 an hr. I proceeded to ask him how about you tell me what to do, I do all the forms and bring them b...	carolinagirl	8	549	Jan 4, 2008 by Loupiness
	he DID attempt suicide! (Preview) my boyfriend really did mean to hang himself last night! he failed. i just got the call from the hospital to bring him some clothing. his neck is injured. no other details than that. why did i ask him to leave, why did i kick him out last night??????????? i have no idea how to deal with this!!! i am alone with...	sadako	12	714	Jan 2, 2008 by debilyn
	Threatening to show up at my house (Preview) My ex sent me an email threatening to show up at my house. He thinks no contact from me is me punishing him. I really don't know if I should keep my eye out and wait for him to leave if he is out front of my home before pulling in or go about my business as usual. I don't even know what to say to him if he does show up....	kissers	4	578	Jan 2, 2008 by kissers
	The Ultimatum I got and the other swing of the pendulum (Preview) After all the support that I have been receiving from you guys (thank you thank you thank you!!!!!), I mustered up enough strength to talk to my AH. I told him that I was using this message board and would be trying very hard to work on understanding his addiction and behaviors and what would be some bett...	Lost but still trying	3	427	Jan 2, 2008 by carosie
	i asked him to leave, he said "warm the rope up" (Preview) i apologize in advance for this being so long! i posted earlier on this board about what my A was doing/saying, and got some excellent advice (i'm sorry i'm not better about posting thank you's!). a lot of it i had gone through way back with a codependent partner, in counseling, so i just lived my life and...	sadako	3	1602	Jan 2, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Addicted to the Adict? (Preview) I left him August. but not really. The final straw was the day after my father's funeral. My oldest son caught him in the hot tub with "company" while I was still out of town going through my father's home. The AH's reaction? That I should explain to my children that adults are allowed ad...	TXSusan	4	445	Jan 6, 2008 by Just For Now
	New Beginnings (Preview) My ex has been calling and e-mailing me. I haven't answered any e-mails or calls. I won't do it anymore. One of his e-mails said he was worried about me. I wanted to believe it, but the reality is it is not true. I keep praying to God that he will seek help. I don't want to see anything bad happen to him. I wish...	kissers	3	262	Jan 2, 2008 by Paws
	Jan. Business meeting (Preview) Hello everyone! This sunday at 9pm est, will be our next monthly business meeting. The meeting will be held in the chat room. All are welcome to attend! As of now there is no new business on the agenda. If anyone has a topic they would possibly like to have placed on the agenda, please send me a private me...	david62	0	244	Jan 1, 2008 by david62
	Gratitude for Each Day (Preview) Happy New Year ((((Family))))) I woke up this morning like I have every morning for the last 45 years. For that, as I am every morning, I am grateful. I slept in late because I had been up late celebrating New Years Eve with a few friends at my house. We played some games, shared fellowship and even danced a...	david62	2	478	Jan 2, 2008 by maire rua
	Alcohol has claimed another life... (Preview) Well, It's the 2nd Life that alcohol has claimed in my life in the past 5 weeks. I lost a dear friend on Thanksgiving to an alcohol and prescription drug overdose. Now here it is Jan 1, 2008 and I just got word that my cousin's husband was killed in an alcohol related car accident sometime late last night or...	Tammy2	12	612	Jan 5, 2008 by sissy
	I'm new (Preview) I went to my first Al-Anon meeting before Thanksgiving and felt pretty good about it. It helped me a lot. I haven't been able to get back because my AH crashed my car and insurance is slow so I haven't been able to get a new car yet. I decided to go to a meeting because for the past three years, whatever I tr...	Lost but still trying	13	472	Jan 3, 2008 by stormie
	a little humor to begin the new year (Preview) (((((Friends)))))), I got such a kick out of this and hope you do as well. For those of you, like me, who love the computer forum and are grateful to have it to supplement our face to face program, this'll make you laugh. LIVING WILL Last night my daughter and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, &qu...	Maria123	7	454	Jan 2, 2008 by Mandy123
	Taking care of me doesn't have to be expensive! (Preview) (((((((Family)))))), Good morning and Happy New Year! I got to thinking last night that we all urge each other to do something extra nice for ourselves, take care of ourselves or treat ourselves to something extra special. Well after the holidays that can be an expensive venture or maybe we just do...	Karilynn	6	583	Jan 1, 2008 by nmike
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.