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Wanting to be approved...
(Preview)
Okay, so they said the computer repairman had been behind, but hopefully it will be finished soon so I can do more than just post on my own needs and instead be able to also respond to yours as well. I saw the A this week. He showed up unexpectedly Monday. My son was ecstatic so I let him stay on the couch. W...
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Codependent
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2
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462
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For all the cat lovers...
(Preview)
Cat stowaway makes it home again Wed Jan 23, 10:28 AM ET PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. - Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly pick...
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Tiger2006
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7
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460
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needing to share where I'm at...
(Preview)
Since my dad got back from Nicaragua, all he can obsess about is money. And, more specifically, how much I cost him in money. As I sat on the phone with the health insurance agent (if nothing changes, nothing changes, right?) I thought I had secured everything and had it all worked out. I thought. M...
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Tiger2006
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9
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1098
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Book excerpt
(Preview)
This is from an e-book The Reunion: A Parable For Peace. It was put together by a group I belong to called "Powerful Intenders". This section was written by Chief Seattle who obviously has the attitude of staying positive. Great reminders for all of us. "My brother, I tell you tru...
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Christy
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5
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504
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best for the baby
(Preview)
My 9 month old's father hasn't been very involved in his life, a lot of it has to do with my trust issues with him. How can I leave my baby alone with a man who can't control his drinking? I've given him the option to have his mother or me around for visits, that was never good enough he wanted it his way or no w...
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kari80
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4
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405
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Seeing the Difference
(Preview)
A few years back I when my grandmother passed away, I remember my then active husband was so wrapped up in his disease that he was not there for any support. For years I resented him for it and made it a point to make sure he knew just how much he wasnt there for me then yada yada. After many years of recovery...
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AlaMom
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6
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272
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My Story..My Life
(Preview)
Please allow myself to introduce myself. I am new here, and I am searching for a new beginning. Some years ago, while single(Newly divorced), my youngest son who was a whiz at the computer said "Mom, you can talk to people on the PC." I quickly responded with: " You mean I have to type?&q...
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Deb57
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5
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456
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My AH stinks...Literally!!!
(Preview)
I have noticed that AH will sometimes reak of Vodka while he sleeps at night. Someone told me that the alcohol is literaly exiting through his pores b/c his liver can not do it. Is this true?
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desperate for help
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11
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395
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Right now I am mad!
(Preview)
At this moment, I feel mad! I am mad that you have no idea how sad and distraught our children are I am mad that I cannot make them feel better I am mad that I will have to uproot them from the life they love I am mad that you get to be with them at your convenience and give them the best of you I am mad that you always...
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Loupiness
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18
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573
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was this too mean?
(Preview)
AH and I are talking. He is about 24 hours sober. I know he is jittery and hurting-- we've been through this game a few times before.
We are talking about stuff that bugs him-- like piles of items in various rooms in the house that he doesn't like looking at. This from a guy who has either been passed out asl...
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gknee
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10
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405
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Loneliness & Depression (non CAL)
(Preview)
I'm reading a wonderful novel/memoir right now ("Eat Pray Love", by Elizabeth Gilbert) and came across some dialogue that the author had with herself that really got to me. She was in the throes of loneliness and depression (and was struggling with the decision whether or not to take an...
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round3
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6
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658
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How to Move Forward
(Preview)
Hi folks - Just a short introduction: I am a one month recent attendee of Al Anon meetings both online and f2f. I was raised by an alcoholic father (still active) and mother (sober through AA for 25 years - she has since passed ) I have been living with an active alcoholic for the past 5 years and have watche...
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Denver
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8
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598
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Just for today
(Preview)
I am taking my life in my own hands. Spending time with the girls. Applying for jobs. Prepping for a lecture tonight. I am somewhat filled with peace. That "somewhat peaceful" feeling will suffice for today. I am not grinding my teeth. I am not stressed out. I will not ask "wha...
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optimistundone
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3
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266
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The Daffodil Principle
(Preview)
This was given to me in 2004 when I started out in alanon. At the time, I wanted the serenity of alanon and I wanted it all now. I sure didn't know where to start, and I couldn't grasp the concept of baby steps ever helping me with so many problems to overcome. I have posted this here before, I think today i...
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greta
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5
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262
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Falling together Falling apart
(Preview)
I was just reading the last post and thinking about how happy we are when things just fall together. We rejoice in it and feel relief. I can't even count the number of times I have let everything go to HP with the real belief that everything would fall together and without fail when I am intent on doing so...
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carolinagirl
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3
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410
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humbled progress
(Preview)
I have struggled with weekends lately - AH is around more and I have much to learn yet re: al anon tools. But as I struggle I have learned a couple important things. 1- no matter how little or big, silly or serious- this MIP family is here for each of us including me. That is the most awesome & humbling...
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ddub
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2
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235
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something to brighten your day...
(Preview)
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Photo-Highlight/ss/photos_highlight_fp;_ylt=AlKl0Khao_yMBpIw5d1_fO.s0NUE
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Tiger2006
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0
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254
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wishing I could activate advice
(Preview)
All of the concern and suggestions I received last week after my last post about how "thing just keep happening" were appreciated and read and re-read. I come back and keep reading the responses I got and wondering why I am so hard to convince. I am intelligent. I understand the reasons for t...
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omajoy
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11
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483
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Where's Abbyal?
(Preview)
Has anybody seen our sweet Abbyal? Just wondering if she's okay.
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Karilynn
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1
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281
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Why am I such a wimp?!
(Preview)
In talking to an attorney last week, the very first thing he asked me was about my ah's time with the kids. Although they see him multiple times a week, it is pretty random and overnights are infrequent - maybe one child once a week. The attorney then guaranteed me that as a part of the divorce process th...
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Loupiness
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8
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636
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what is alanon to me
(Preview)
Last night our meeting topic was "what is alanon to me?" and it was suggested the I post my share. So: Much of Alanon to me is about LEARNING After all, the difference between AA and Alanon is that AA is for people with a drinking problem and Alanon is for people with a thinking problem. So, I a...
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norwood
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8
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672
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Jeckyll and Hyde
(Preview)
A friend of mine is so great (sober) and even one or two drinks she's ok, but after that she turns into something extremely unpleasant. I've seen this a million times. She literally becomes another person, and whoever this person IS I cannot stand. I've been with her in public when this OTHER personali...
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charlotteyorkgoldenblatt
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16
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530
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Does cutting off all ties help the A?
(Preview)
I have talked to the A for the past couple of days and last night he mentioned he might drop by and see me and our child. I told him to call first. After I got off the phone I text messaged him back to be sure to call as I was expecting company. I wasn't really expecting company, but didn't want to have him ove...
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Codependent
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14
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721
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new - need help
(Preview)
Hi, I am new here, so if I don't use the correct abbreviations and such, my apologies in advance. I have been married to my AH (alcoholic husband - right?) for almost 12 years, and we have 3 kids. I know alcoholism is a progressive disease, as is drug addiction. My husband also has a cocain addiction. He...
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kellic
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12
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565
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4th step workbook
(Preview)
i bought the conference approved "Blueprint for Progress" workbook, the one that helps you through the 4th step. i read the entire book and i am SO excited to start writing in it! i even have a blank journal ready for if i run out of room on the pages. i love workbooks, guided journals, anythin...
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sadako
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9
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13789
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levels of safety
(Preview)
At today's f2f meeting an elder al anon member spoke of her work with batterers and the similarities (sometimes connected to A) with alcoholism. After the meeting we talked of levels of safety - I feel that if I was ever in danger of physical violence, I would leave immediatly. Perhaps, all feel that w...
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ddub
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6
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483
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He gives me the divorce papers
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, Well, I am not crying now but I was. I don't believe the timing of my AHsober. We were waiting for our son in the military to come with our first granddaughter. Happy to see our son and the baby. So my AHsober left to take our son's car in to the garage. And then he says I left the papers by your s...
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nmike
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6
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574
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Bitter Struggles
(Preview)
Most of us can admit our faults...errors of judgement, lack of communication, blurps of insane stupidity, etc. But when combining arguements with these faults seems to cause wildfires to the inner parts of the mind and emotions. And this is where my issues of my life seem to stay rooted to. My err...
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Just For Now
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3
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357
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Do you remember my post about the movie Runaway Bride?
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, Guess what is being televised tonight? HP must want me to see something. Just wanted to let you all know, if anyone is interested in seeing it. It airs at 9 pm Eastern time.
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kissers
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1
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297
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He's out :(
(Preview)
I got a few calls the other night (been too sick to answer the phone) and luckily found out he's been released before I actually picked up the phone. At least now I know that I need to screen my calls again so I don't get taken by surprise. So much for my divorce filing plans. Last message I heard was - will...
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carolinagirl
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2
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433
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HALT?
(Preview)
Can someone please tell me what HALT means, apart from the dictionary definition of: to stop? I come across some of these acronymns and although I have heard this I cannot for the life of me remember what it stands for. It is another of those senior moments that I keep on getting of late. Are there any mor...
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Heartbroken
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7
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462
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Pot and Kettle
(Preview)
Sometimes I get irritated because I feel like I can't get my groove on around the AH. He is not in recovery, and I feel like I have to set some sort of example. well, I set a poor example at a freind's party last night, and as drunk as I was, he was drunker. He embarassed the heck out of me, infront of freind's an...
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RainyJamie
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6
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280
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New here, so angry at AH and don't know how to leave with children
(Preview)
Hello! I'm really glad I came across this board this weekend, I am so upset and tired of AH's lying and broken promises, I can't take it anymore and don't know what to do. I know I need to leave for my boys, I am a stay-at-home mom with 1 child that has medical issues. We have 2 year old twin boys, life has been...
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txmomma
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11
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575
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Accepting my limitations
(Preview)
Even though I did walk away from my then active alcoholic/addict husband over 20 years ago, I have no doubt that was due in large to my higher power. After completing rehab for my own addictions, I was at least clear-minded enough to recognize that if I were to go back home, he surely would have beaten me t...
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Tenderheartsks
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3
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573
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|
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A rose by any other name.....
(Preview)
smells just as sweet....an addiction by any other name creates just as much havoc. An intense conversation with AH yesterday which in essence falls on me for detaching, not communicating. If he could only understand that if I were to truly communicate it would be full of screaming, expletives, an...
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optimistundone
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2
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341
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FOR ALL WOMEN OUT THERE AND REMINDERS FOR MEN...
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) A WOMAN HAS STRENGTHS THAT CAN AMAZE MEN, SHE CAN HANDLE TROUBLE AND CARRY HEAVY BURDENS. SHE HOLDS HAPPINESS, LOVE & OPINIONS, SHE SMILES WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE SCREAMING, SHE SINGS WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE CRYING, SHE CRIES WHEN SHE'S HAPPY, & LAUGHS W...
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ally
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7
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704
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Need advice about lack of communication with AH
(Preview)
Have not been on here in a while, but I need some thoughts on something because I am nearing the end of my tolerance and feel like I could just scream. I am very depressed, hurt, and feel betrayed. Before my AH came back home he was different, he listened to me, expressed empathy, concern, we talked about e...
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verenda
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15
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1356
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weekends are very tough lately
(Preview)
Had a great day going and detached when ah passed out tonight. I was winding down to go to bed when ah got up again. Now I can't sleep, too late to call anyone (it's about 2am here) and no one is on chat. I started to get very very anxious so I went to bed anyways, deep breathing, some tears - drunk ah is stone...
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ddub
|
8
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570
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|
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I miss my friend.
(Preview)
Something has been bugging me lately. I couldnt put my finger on it. But it finally got through to me that I miss my friend. She was the first friend I had in this program, the only one there at my very first meeting. She was my rock and knew that, more than anything, I needed someone to listen to me, to really...
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Jen
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4
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604
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I miss my husband
(Preview)
I miss the man he was 5 years ago before he "lost his mind". Maybe he always was the way he is now and I just didn't know. But, 5 years ago, when I was pregnant with baby#3 and he had just started his new career and had just started an affair something within him changed, snapped. The man he was befo...
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serendipity
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11
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632
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The Gift of Healing Together
(Preview)
The especial genius of women, I believe to be electrical in movement, intuitive in function, spiritual in tendency. --Margaret Fuller We are women, and we are moving, together and alone. We are moving into new images of ourselves. There is a healing power that comes from moving, from sharing one's i...
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kissers
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0
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315
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how to move on? 10 years/5 years/whatever
(Preview)
I spoke to a representative from my landlord yesterday and he said (not knowing I have an evicition on my record gift from the A's acting out) that an eviction stays on your record for 10 years. He was speaking about someone else. I have learned well not to disclose that much about myself to people other t...
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maresie
|
7
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575
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|
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Tipping the scales...
(Preview)
...finding my feet again after that little hiccup that came about by my friend's shocking death, however now I have been diagnosed with VERTIGO, and every time I stand up I fall over whilst every time I turn my head it feels as though it is going to spin off! LOL (if I was not feeling so nauseus). Doc thinks...
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Heartbroken
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5
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597
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|
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22 years
(Preview)
An Al-Anon friend of mine just got a coin for 22 years in this program today. She is so excited. Her sponsor sent it to her in the mail because our tiny small town groups don't even have coins yet. She has shown and amazing amount of growth esp in the last year in spite of odds stacked against her. She is an ins...
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Jen
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6
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455
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Birthdays are Grand
(Preview)
((((((((((((((Cjo))))))))))))))))))) MyChristy, a very, very Happy Birthday to you !!! What a journey you've had these past few years! I hope you and scholar boy are going to be able to celebrate. Wishing you a joyous day. love ya, Maria
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Maria123
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8
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365
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What's love got to do with it?
(Preview)
Not trying to beat a dead horse - but I find this love issue interesting to explore. I think everyone has different definitions of love - and I like everyone's analogy with TV/movies. I'm so guilty of making that comparison to my own life. I've had the opportunity (like many of you) to have known the A...
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round3
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6
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670
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Lunamoth - how are you doing?
(Preview)
Lunamoth have not seen you lately, and I am wondering how you are. Hoping you are well. Heartbroken
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Heartbroken
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0
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282
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Lecture on Alcoholism
(Preview)
I went to a lecture on alcoholism and wrote down all the symptoms of living with an alcoholic or sick person. anxiety depression adapt to the abnormal no boundaries you're not good enough damage to self-esteem damage to self-confidence guilt anger frustration of not having needs met broken trust mi...
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kissers
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2
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965
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Upset with A's mother
(Preview)
Well, he didn't go to rehab. Apparently his mom drove to get him out of jail. Granted he is 37. She ask him if he would go to rehab. He said yeah if she wanted him too. Said also he thought it would look good in court- go figure. Told her he didn't think he really needed it- that he knew what to do he just di...
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Codependent
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8
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601
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new here
(Preview)
i have been reading this forum for the last couple of days and i am freaking shocked at the similarities of my situation and your's. i so lost my mind with the crazyness of it all. it never occured to me to look into alanon because we were "both" supposed to be in recovery. i have been sober many y...
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fairee
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4
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325
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things just keep happening
(Preview)
I just came home from taking my husband to yet another medical appointment. I have supervised all the preparation here at home for this CT, did all the arranging, etc. When we got home today with him weak and just dying to get to his recliner and sleep some more, I sat trying to make a grocery list. He chim...
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omajoy
|
9
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494
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victim knee jerk reactions
(Preview)
I have learned from therapy that my daughter (a couple years ago) didn't need to hear "why" things happened which is rationalization, she just needed her pain to be acknowledged that things happened. I could do that and then it made sense to apologize. I didn't really feel like it was ta...
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ddub
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2
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505
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Courage
(Preview)
The definition of courage is the ability to conquer fear or despair. In the past we may have been called courageous because we stayed in circumstances that were difficult or nearly unbearable. We may have felt that walking away from family, children, or friends was cowardly or displayed weakness. W...
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kissers
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2
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937
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Thought for the Day
(Preview)
We are born in innocence. Corruption comes later. The first fear is a corruption, the first reaching for a something that defies us. The first nuance of difference, the first need to feel better than the different one, more loved, stronger, richer, more blessed--these are corruptions. --Laura Z. H...
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kissers
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1
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319
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update
(Preview)
how rude of me to run in and yell "help!" then not come back for a week! my A is the one who attempted suicide on New Year's day. i got hit by a virus, so i've been pretty out of it. i hope to feel better soon and get to posting to others here :) i got the books i ordered, the 4th step workbook and also &qu...
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sadako
|
7
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286
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Detachment and trust
(Preview)
I feel slightly lost in the whole concept of detachment. I understand that alcoholism is a disease. I also understand that I can't control it, and that it is not my fault, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it. I guess the point at which I feel lost is the point where I start thinking, what's...
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kikgirl517
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7
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737
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Just Confused!?
(Preview)
I am new to this Alanon and group chat thing. I guess Im just looking for a little advice on how to deal with everything. My husband has been an alcoholic and drug addict for about 10 years now. He just got out of rehab after he had a breakdown all on his own and decided to go. I thought I was happy about it, th...
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deedee1
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2
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412
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Sometimes I wonder if it is all too late...
(Preview)
...that is for me. I have been on my own now for 18 years. My AH is no longer in my life, I did not have anything like this family for support, indeed I did not have any support during my 20 years with my A and all maternal and paternal family members shunned me and my children, mine telling me that I should hav...
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Heartbroken
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8
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408
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quote on Fear (non conference approved)
(Preview)
"Fearlessness is about getting up one more time than we fall down. The more comfortable we are with the possibility of falling down, the less worried we are of what people will think if and when we do, the less judgmental of ourselves we are every time we make a mistake, the more fearless we will be,...
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maresie
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1
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316
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is any of it real
(Preview)
With all the lies and cheating did a real relationship ever exist? I was reading the text messaging post and it made me wonder. My a would text message me a lot and I knew if I got a text he had been drinking. He would send me "I love you and will do whatever it takes to make it up to you" At first my he...
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kari80
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12
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513
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