Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

donnarock · donnarock

hello all. i am relatively new here and i haven't really posted much. i am married to a recoverd A for seven years. we are in the process of getting a divorce. still living together, still doing some things together and still care for each other. the issue is him. he has been sober for 19 years. but h...

justonemore · justonemore

Hello, I am new here. I am not sure what I am even doing. I know my drinking habits are far from normal and I feel they have gotten much worse in the past few months. I went from going out occassionally after I had my daughter, to going out every weekend, sometimes more than once. We don't even have the money f...

twain91 · twain91

I have been struggling for so long and I still am not sure this is the place for me. My husband is an alcoholic that is true. His father was one, his brothers are alcoholics and so on. His drinking has slowly corroded our marriage. The reason why I don't know if this is the place for me is that there is so mu...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just got news that my 18 year old niece is getting married in August. UGH, I feel flabbergasted!! She is really young and immature and has barely one year of community college past high school. She just found out she did not get into the nursing program at the community college she is attending becau...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I live in a place where I am constantly intruded up on by other people who live in the house. Last night this one person knocked on my door twice to ask me some stupid question about the laundry. I have put notes on my door to say do not knock and she rips them off. This other person who is a tota...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...feel I HAVE taken one step forward and ended up ten steps backward. ...feeling that the last four months have been a too much too fast. ...thinking that I no longer know what I believe. ...hoping that I have been able to give something back for the love and concern and support that I have received. ......

Codependent · Codependent

So, don't read this if you won't to be inspired because unfortunately I seem to have back slid and may still be in the slide. I called the A for my birthday and took him out. We went to dinner and to hotel with hot tub. Spent a fortune. We talked about a lot of things and I "fell" in again- saw hi...

QOD · QOD

I have not posted in a long time. I have been checking on those I am familiar with but not felt compelled to post about me in some time. Well, I thought it was about time to post something upbeat!!! I am smiling more and more these days. And laughing too. Oh how good it feels to have something to smile abou...

ddub · ddub

Detachment is an effective tool to step back from the chaos and decide what is the best action for ourselves. It disables manipulation from A spouses/A children over time and makes the partners even more aware sometimes of the manipulation that has happened in the past and present. Alanoners st...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The A has moved into a halfway house. I wish he would go back to jail so I can file for divorce without having to pay extra or fight about custody/visitation. Then I feel guilty for wishing ill things on him just to benefit myself. He has been ringing my phone off the hook the past few days despite the res...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am working really hard on keeping my emotions level - not falling to putty when AH is husband of the week and not blowing smoke out of my ears when he pulls the latest stunt. Detachment has been essential. For someone, like my AH, who is used to being the focus of attention, this is killing him. He's an...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hi roommates. I read the messageboards with fear in my heart for the future, and sadness for those suffering like me all because we love someone who drinks? I feel Like a dumb animal looking down the barrell of a gun. I can't get the guts to leave him, don't know if I want to or should, if I'm just in a bad mood...

maresie · maresie

So I heard today my last day at this present job is February 13th. But guess what I may have another job lined up as soon as this week. I just put it out there that I needed work and I may be able to go over to another department which is actually a lot nicer than the one I am in. I don't know I will get the same pa...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am struggling with this as I await responses from the 22 job applications that I sent out. It truly is out of my hands, but I should be hearing about interviews within the next 2 weeks. Let go, let God. Let go, let God.

omajoy · omajoy

Have worked as hard as I know how on detachment from my son's alcohol binges and subsequent bouts of depression at his failure at sobriety. The past ten days have been awful. His new knowledge of his EX having her lover move into the former family home with his son just broke him into a million little pi...

verenda · verenda

Really need some validation and opinions. AH and I had a terrible argument just a bit ago, now he has left to go to work. I need to know if what I said was wrong because he wrote me a letter before he left and said he did not think he needed to apologise. This is how it started; He asked me if I would check out a h...

Deb57 · Deb57

I came here to this chat room and exposed my "true self". Risky, but upon doing so, I opened a (new door) to the future. I came here seeking serenity, seeking a feeling of "I belong".."I do matter".. and in the few days I have been coming to this room to share, I find the re...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Sick of being sick. I spend days coming here, reading and feeling and praying, and trying to support and give encouragement for I know how hard it is to keep putting one step in front of the other when life is hard; and then I come to the point of being utterly drained and tettering on the edge of a cliff of un...

Lookingforpeace · Lookingforpeace

Hi Everyone - I have not been on for a while and just wanted to give an update. The last time I posted was probably back in November. My husband had a seizure because of an OD of meds (the wrong blend...) and I was lost confused and scared. I pretty much went into what I call "survival mode". ...

CJC · CJC

Hello all, it has been a while since I have been around, but that is my fault and believe me when I say I have paid the price. LOL... I have missed you all horribly; I am still attending my F2F meetings, but this place has been a God send between my meetings! Thanks to you all!! So here is an update on what has be...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Dear AH, It's been almost 5 years since this horrible disease took you from me and our son. I miss you terribly. I used to think that we would be together forever and grow old together in happiness. Now I wonder when you will die. It sounds so extreme to even type such a thing, but it is real. You've accumula...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

My AH went to detox yesterday. The insurance only cover inpatient detox and outpatient treatment. He wanted to go to inpatient rehab but we can't afford it. When he left, i asked him what to tell his family (aunts, cousins, etc). His sister and son took him. I had to work so I couldn't be there. But...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

...I get to go at my own pace. There are times I really surge ahead and there are times I need to take a step (or 20!!) backwards. This is Ok and this program acknowledges this. HP loves me regardless. Nothing is set in stone- everything is in guidelines. You do not have to do anything if you do not want to- it...

serendipity · serendipity

I wonder about this at times. I have felt that sometimes maybe I am too positive, too upbeat, seeing the glass WAY too full. Mostly because I was raised by the most negative woman on the planet. So, my optimism, my idea that there really is a silver lining was always laughed at and put down and I was made to f...

glad · glad

Okay, I'm new to the board so if this seems cheesy I'm sorry! I read a post of a list of things the person was angry with the AH about and it helped me so much to see that others struggle with some of the same issues I do, made me feel like I was not alone in my anger, sadness, and rejection (by the stupid beer not...

Diva · Diva

I see it stated time and time again..."What others think of me is none of my business." I don't have to care what others think of me, but it IS my business, and here's why: If I don't know what others think, don't listen to what others think, and otherwise consider it "none of my business,...

glad · glad

I have to take responsibility for me, I use my A not being perfect as an excuse to not be all I can be in my life. He suffers from drinking way too much, can't trust or live his life 100% with me (meaning see me as his 1st person) as his partner because he saw the opposite growing up. I only saw the "perfec...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) It has occured to me that, as I use the slogans in my daily life, there is one I am living by more and more... "HOW IMPORTANT IS IT" When I am tempted to take another persons Inventory, when someone has done something to me, or made a comment. My past behav...

Becky1 · Becky1

The saga continues. I went out with friends last night, got home at 1:12 am. While I was gone, my AH who HATES me and wants a divorce, and who hasn't touched, held, kissed, me in 4 weeks, and we haven't been "man and wife" for almost 2 months...called me about 8 times between 9 and 1. And sent 6 te...

grateful · grateful

Hello everyone, I'm having some confusion about working the program, anger, best way for me to deal with it. I've read the previous post on anger, and I have to admit I am pretty angry with my ah (we are seperated for the last 6 months) for all my family has gone through. But I do not like to live like this, e...

ddub · ddub

I do not like being a whiney wimp but I have lost touch with myself way more than I ever realized. You'd never know that I was in business mgmt prior to kids and have been at home mom now for 20 plus years. Feel like I'm a throw back to the 50's.....yuck!! I read Kisser's post about the female partner of the A...

kissers · kissers

My ex contacted me tonight begging for forgiveness. I told him the only way I would take him back is if he went to AA for his drinking problem; otherwise, I have to walk away for good. This is really how I feel and I know taking him back without him getting help for himself will change nothing. I hope and pray...

kissers · kissers

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/Female_Partner_Alcoholic.html

Becky1 · Becky1

Last night I was at Walmart, got 3 phone calls from hubby, never mind he is NEVER home by 7pm, and it was 6:45. He gets off work @ 3 and is usually drinking at his buddy's house across the street until 7 or 8. Anyway, I guess since I have gotten so good at detaching, he keeps trying to attach himself to ME! I got...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Well, my kids just left for their first weekend with their dad. Not sure how I feel about it. I feel sadness in that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I feel anger that my ah is acting so nice, but is really just an a**. Lastly, I feel guilty in that I feel some relief in knowing I can have some time to mys...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) The meeting today was on "perspective" Well, I have had something going on in my life recently that has put "life into perspective" for me, in many ways. For years I have watched news, Tv, about the "troops" both "Ame...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

BY PERSONAL REQUEST FROM DEBILYN... this is the sequel to the AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM DONE IN, IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING... "TURN THE BATH TAPS OFF, THEN CALL THE FIREBRIGADE, AND THEN GET THE OTHER TORCH AND COME TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO SHINE THE TORCH FOR YOUR BROTHER, 'CO...

afglin · afglin

This morning I read the sotries that showed the alanon promise of "you will laugh more". I laughed until my sides ached. It brought to my mind a story. I have 3 dogs in the house. We have 2 doggie doors to the back yard and they come and go as they wish when we are at home. I had made an appointment f...

digby · digby

Here i am almost midnight drunk son in my kitchen. I'm hanging out to make sure he doesn't burn down the house or leave. I know detach, but I am going to sleep eventually and I don't need to have the police wake me up. I'm mad and frustrated and tired of this. He asked for help today. I said we would and by...

round3 · round3

Maresie mentioned this in a previous post and it got me thinking. Physical emotional care. Wow. What is that? I mean - when I was growing up I had that. And I had that in spits and spurts probably until my mother died 8 years ago. Once she died - I have no recollection of having physical emotional car...

maresie · maresie

I am in a horrible job where my boss picks on my every sentence, vowel, fullstop, email and more. I know in years past I would have walked out by now and suffered financial consequences. I stood on my head and offered to do a job with wierd hours. I have not heard anything from them. I was supposed to hav...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Oh my, I have so enjoyed the humorous posts I have read through today. Laughter is so good for my soul. I thought I'd share one of my funnier moments (though I didn't think so at the time). Bear in mind I have several dogs, with the definitive 'problem child' of those being a 26 pound wire haired terrier mix...

serendipity · serendipity

I have a great smile. That's what people tell me. I haven't smiled in so very long. I used to not even think about it. I would just naturally have a smile on my face whenever I was around others. I enjoyed being happy. Even if I wasn't happy, when i was faced with a smile, I smiled back. That's gone. I haven't b...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Back in the early 80's whilst my A was sailing the seven seas with HM, me and the kids where digging a trench in our nearly acquired home. Why were we digging this trench, well the land sloped down to our bungalow and it was a bad Spring and we were about a foot deep in muddy water all the way around, [rising by...

kerry5 · kerry5

I have been thinking a lot lately about the past few months. All I have been through and still going through. I can think back even further and think of all the things that have gone on continuously lately. I am not one to handle stress well. Sometimes when I feel fear or something big is happening in my l...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was reading the post about laughing and I have found myself doing it more and more. Here is one that gets me every time. I work in a building that has a state nutrition program for women and children and they have some of their promotional materials in the hall. They are these blocks that have pictures...

kissers · kissers

Because of Alanon, I have realized that I had shutdown emotionally. I would pretend things didn't hurt when they did. I thought that, that is how you were supposed to be. I grew up with an alcoholic father who always told me that women are stupid and they are there to take care of the man in the house. I lear...

kissers · kissers

I apologize about the copyright issue. If anyone would like to read the daily meditations, they can be found at http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view.

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

That seems to be the theme of the week. A schoolweek full of assignments and social weirdos, still fitting in at work. The kids stayed home sick. The AH, on his 5th day clean, was just discovered drinking a beer in the car. Yesterday he fell down in the shower. He has scratches on his face and arm. He says hi...

Codependent · Codependent

I am at my sister's tonight and using her computer so I was able to read through some posts. I am just amazed at how similar we all are and how similar our A's are as well. Do you think that we are attracted to A's with these personalities? Or did we all just happen to wind up in these relationships, etc? I gues...

tea2 · tea2

I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...

omajoy · omajoy

I found this Al-Anon promise of "we will laugh more" just startling because as I read it I realized that NO ONE in our little family has smiled or laughed naturally for soo long. Yes, we stretch our mouths sometimes when it seems appropriate but it is more like a grimace. I think I have forgo...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Maybe it's a woman thing, but I have a feeling if there's any individual that's ever had to "here honey, hold my purse," you'll comiserate...from my email, from Reader's Digest.... WHEN I JOINED the U.S. Air Force, it was the first time I had ever flown in an airplane. We were corralled of...

kissers · kissers

On occasion, our problems seem overwhelming, and we don't know where to turn. Our job is stressful. Our health is failing. But many of us face no truly threatening situations, and we still have problems. Being alive, being human, means having experiences that trouble us. It's hard to ask for help wh...

omajoy · omajoy

Wednesday was new visitation situation #3 with grandbaby and his daddy here for the three hour block. I want things to work out OK since we have no other choices at this time, but boy, what a difficult three hours. Baby came from school in good mood, smiling, chatting. Daddy arrived tired from work, m...

ddub · ddub

Have felt apathetic all day and ended up full of self pity to despair. Then I start beating myself up for lack of acceptance of the it is what it is. I am angry still that I am alone in this marriage and turn to despair rather than action to make things better for myself. Then I waste time linking it with ov...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

My meds seem to have kicked in today and for the first time I have not felt dizzy. I even managed to get out with a neighbour and go for a short walk around a local beauty-spot. Utterly exhausted and feel as weak as a new born kitten, which rather took me by surprise. Sleeping is still a HUGE issue, hence my po...

tma0413 · tma0413

Ok, it's been 3 weeks since AH got a OWI on the snowmobile...so tonight he calls and 'asks' if I mind if he goes out snowmobiling tonight?? I tell him "it's not my choice, I don't care." He comes home from work and starts getting ready it's all to obvious that I have an attitude...but I tell hi...

maresie · maresie

Some things are finally going my way. The landlord is getting ready to get rid of some of the more antisocial people who live in my house. In a few weeks they will be gone. In addition, as some of you know I have had the job from hell for the past few months. I got yelled at again this morning over nothing! I...

Codependent · Codependent

Okay, so they said the computer repairman had been behind, but hopefully it will be finished soon so I can do more than just post on my own needs and instead be able to also respond to yours as well. I saw the A this week. He showed up unexpectedly Monday. My son was ecstatic so I let him stay on the couch. W...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Does the recovered A always know best?.... (Preview) hello all. i am relatively new here and i haven't really posted much. i am married to a recoverd A for seven years. we are in the process of getting a divorce. still living together, still doing some things together and still care for each other. the issue is him. he has been sober for 19 years. but h...	donnarock	7	584	Feb 1, 2008 by Karilynn
	new here (Preview) Hello, I am new here. I am not sure what I am even doing. I know my drinking habits are far from normal and I feel they have gotten much worse in the past few months. I went from going out occassionally after I had my daughter, to going out every weekend, sometimes more than once. We don't even have the money f...	justonemore	5	339	Jan 31, 2008 by abbyal
	place for me? (Preview) I have been struggling for so long and I still am not sure this is the place for me. My husband is an alcoholic that is true. His father was one, his brothers are alcoholics and so on. His drinking has slowly corroded our marriage. The reason why I don't know if this is the place for me is that there is so mu...	twain91	3	515	Jan 30, 2008 by lin0606
	Help me to SHUT UP! MY (Preview) I just got news that my 18 year old niece is getting married in August. UGH, I feel flabbergasted!! She is really young and immature and has barely one year of community college past high school. She just found out she did not get into the nursing program at the community college she is attending becau...	Jean4444	12	729	Jan 30, 2008 by nmike
	Health issues (Preview) As you all know I live in a place where I am constantly intruded up on by other people who live in the house. Last night this one person knocked on my door twice to ask me some stupid question about the laundry. I have put notes on my door to say do not knock and she rips them off. This other person who is a tota...	maresie	4	483	Jan 30, 2008 by maresie
	Logged in tonight to quit (Preview) ...feel I HAVE taken one step forward and ended up ten steps backward. ...feeling that the last four months have been a too much too fast. ...thinking that I no longer know what I believe. ...hoping that I have been able to give something back for the love and concern and support that I have received. ......	Heartbroken	16	703	Jan 31, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Confession-Hoping you all won't be disappointed in me (Preview) So, don't read this if you won't to be inspired because unfortunately I seem to have back slid and may still be in the slide. I called the A for my birthday and took him out. We went to dinner and to hotel with hot tub. Spent a fortune. We talked about a lot of things and I "fell" in again- saw hi...	Codependent	18	672	Jan 31, 2008 by Codependent
	Smiling more and more (Preview) I have not posted in a long time. I have been checking on those I am familiar with but not felt compelled to post about me in some time. Well, I thought it was about time to post something upbeat!!! I am smiling more and more these days. And laughing too. Oh how good it feels to have something to smile abou...	QOD	2	425	Jan 29, 2008 by carolinagirl
	detachment and manipulation (Preview) Detachment is an effective tool to step back from the chaos and decide what is the best action for ourselves. It disables manipulation from A spouses/A children over time and makes the partners even more aware sometimes of the manipulation that has happened in the past and present. Alanoners st...	ddub	5	2262	Jan 29, 2008 by barisax
	Update (Preview) The A has moved into a halfway house. I wish he would go back to jail so I can file for divorce without having to pay extra or fight about custody/visitation. Then I feel guilty for wishing ill things on him just to benefit myself. He has been ringing my phone off the hook the past few days despite the res...	carolinagirl	3	466	Jan 29, 2008 by serendipity
	Is it possible to communicate while detached? (Preview) I am working really hard on keeping my emotions level - not falling to putty when AH is husband of the week and not blowing smoke out of my ears when he pulls the latest stunt. Detachment has been essential. For someone, like my AH, who is used to being the focus of attention, this is killing him. He's an...	optimistundone	7	431	Jan 29, 2008 by lin0606
	prisoner (Preview) Hi roommates. I read the messageboards with fear in my heart for the future, and sadness for those suffering like me all because we love someone who drinks? I feel Like a dumb animal looking down the barrell of a gun. I can't get the guts to leave him, don't know if I want to or should, if I'm just in a bad mood...	silverbrumby	5	500	Jan 29, 2008 by tma0413
	HP working in my life ! (Preview) So I heard today my last day at this present job is February 13th. But guess what I may have another job lined up as soon as this week. I just put it out there that I needed work and I may be able to go over to another department which is actually a lot nicer than the one I am in. I don't know I will get the same pa...	maresie	8	634	Jan 29, 2008 by maresie
	Let Go, Let God (Preview) I am struggling with this as I await responses from the 22 job applications that I sent out. It truly is out of my hands, but I should be hearing about interviews within the next 2 weeks. Let go, let God. Let go, let God.	optimistundone	3	566	Jan 28, 2008 by glad lee
	is this a mistake?? (Preview) Have worked as hard as I know how on detachment from my son's alcohol binges and subsequent bouts of depression at his failure at sobriety. The past ten days have been awful. His new knowledge of his EX having her lover move into the former family home with his son just broke him into a million little pi...	omajoy	4	622	Jan 28, 2008 by lmw
	Was I wrong? (Preview) Really need some validation and opinions. AH and I had a terrible argument just a bit ago, now he has left to go to work. I need to know if what I said was wrong because he wrote me a letter before he left and said he did not think he needed to apologise. This is how it started; He asked me if I would check out a h...	verenda	7	423	Jan 29, 2008 by Jerry F
	True Self (Preview) I came here to this chat room and exposed my "true self". Risky, but upon doing so, I opened a (new door) to the future. I came here seeking serenity, seeking a feeling of "I belong".."I do matter".. and in the few days I have been coming to this room to share, I find the re...	Deb57	5	407	Jan 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH (Preview) Sick of being sick. I spend days coming here, reading and feeling and praying, and trying to support and give encouragement for I know how hard it is to keep putting one step in front of the other when life is hard; and then I come to the point of being utterly drained and tettering on the edge of a cliff of un...	Heartbroken	9	661	Jan 29, 2008 by fairee
	An Update (Preview) Hi Everyone - I have not been on for a while and just wanted to give an update. The last time I posted was probably back in November. My husband had a seizure because of an OD of meds (the wrong blend...) and I was lost confused and scared. I pretty much went into what I call "survival mode". ...	Lookingforpeace	1	235	Jan 28, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Been a while...just taking it one day at a time (Preview) Hello all, it has been a while since I have been around, but that is my fault and believe me when I say I have paid the price. LOL... I have missed you all horribly; I am still attending my F2F meetings, but this place has been a God send between my meetings! Thanks to you all!! So here is an update on what has be...	CJC	3	572	Jan 28, 2008 by Jerry F
	A Letter to My AH (and my HP) (Preview) Dear AH, It's been almost 5 years since this horrible disease took you from me and our son. I miss you terribly. I used to think that we would be together forever and grow old together in happiness. Now I wonder when you will die. It sounds so extreme to even type such a thing, but it is real. You've accumula...	Rocky38	2	636	Jan 29, 2008 by Jerry F
	Dealing with Addiction-Riddled In Laws (Preview) My AH went to detox yesterday. The insurance only cover inpatient detox and outpatient treatment. He wanted to go to inpatient rehab but we can't afford it. When he left, i asked him what to tell his family (aunts, cousins, etc). His sister and son took him. I had to work so I couldn't be there. But...	Lost but still trying	3	670	Jan 28, 2008 by Jerry F
	What I love about this program... (Preview) ...I get to go at my own pace. There are times I really surge ahead and there are times I need to take a step (or 20!!) backwards. This is Ok and this program acknowledges this. HP loves me regardless. Nothing is set in stone- everything is in guidelines. You do not have to do anything if you do not want to- it...	Jean4444	6	587	Jan 28, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	The Pollyanna effect (Preview) I wonder about this at times. I have felt that sometimes maybe I am too positive, too upbeat, seeing the glass WAY too full. Mostly because I was raised by the most negative woman on the planet. So, my optimism, my idea that there really is a silver lining was always laughed at and put down and I was made to f...	serendipity	4	504	Jan 29, 2008 by tiredtonite
	I am thankful for... (Preview) Okay, I'm new to the board so if this seems cheesy I'm sorry! I read a post of a list of things the person was angry with the AH about and it helped me so much to see that others struggle with some of the same issues I do, made me feel like I was not alone in my anger, sadness, and rejection (by the stupid beer not...	glad	9	561	Jan 28, 2008 by kissers
	What others think of me is none of my business....Oh really???? (Preview) I see it stated time and time again..."What others think of me is none of my business." I don't have to care what others think of me, but it IS my business, and here's why: If I don't know what others think, don't listen to what others think, and otherwise consider it "none of my business,...	Diva	20	3790	Jan 31, 2008 by norwood
	I have to take responsibility (Preview) I have to take responsibility for me, I use my A not being perfect as an excuse to not be all I can be in my life. He suffers from drinking way too much, can't trust or live his life 100% with me (meaning see me as his 1st person) as his partner because he saw the opposite growing up. I only saw the "perfec...	glad	2	778	Jan 27, 2008 by round3
	SLOGANS (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) It has occured to me that, as I use the slogans in my daily life, there is one I am living by more and more... "HOW IMPORTANT IS IT" When I am tempted to take another persons Inventory, when someone has done something to me, or made a comment. My past behav...	ally	1	444	Jan 27, 2008 by Jean4444
	Taking Back My Life (Preview) The saga continues. I went out with friends last night, got home at 1:12 am. While I was gone, my AH who HATES me and wants a divorce, and who hasn't touched, held, kissed, me in 4 weeks, and we haven't been "man and wife" for almost 2 months...called me about 8 times between 9 and 1. And sent 6 te...	Becky1	5	541	Jan 28, 2008 by maresie
	confused (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm having some confusion about working the program, anger, best way for me to deal with it. I've read the previous post on anger, and I have to admit I am pretty angry with my ah (we are seperated for the last 6 months) for all my family has gone through. But I do not like to live like this, e...	grateful	3	233	Jan 27, 2008 by ddub
	I have no clue (Preview) I do not like being a whiney wimp but I have lost touch with myself way more than I ever realized. You'd never know that I was in business mgmt prior to kids and have been at home mom now for 20 plus years. Feel like I'm a throw back to the 50's.....yuck!! I read Kisser's post about the female partner of the A...	ddub	5	626	Jan 28, 2008 by ddub
	I hope I did the right thing (Preview) My ex contacted me tonight begging for forgiveness. I told him the only way I would take him back is if he went to AA for his drinking problem; otherwise, I have to walk away for good. This is really how I feel and I know taking him back without him getting help for himself will change nothing. I hope and pray...	kissers	4	572	Jan 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	The Female Partner of the Alcoholic (Preview) http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/Female_Partner_Alcoholic.html	kissers	3	512	Jan 27, 2008 by SLS
	The Struggle (Preview) Last night I was at Walmart, got 3 phone calls from hubby, never mind he is NEVER home by 7pm, and it was 6:45. He gets off work @ 3 and is usually drinking at his buddy's house across the street until 7 or 8. Anyway, I guess since I have gotten so good at detaching, he keeps trying to attach himself to ME! I got...	Becky1	7	447	Jan 27, 2008 by Loupiness
	mixed feelings (Preview) Well, my kids just left for their first weekend with their dad. Not sure how I feel about it. I feel sadness in that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I feel anger that my ah is acting so nice, but is really just an a**. Lastly, I feel guilty in that I feel some relief in knowing I can have some time to mys...	Loupiness	4	513	Jan 27, 2008 by Loupiness
	PUTTING LIFE INTO PERSPECTIVE (Preview) (((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) The meeting today was on "perspective" Well, I have had something going on in my life recently that has put "life into perspective" for me, in many ways. For years I have watched news, Tv, about the "troops" both "Ame...	ally	3	581	Jan 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	999 CALL ... HEALTH WARNING ... THIS WILL MAKE YOUR SIDES ACHE... (Preview) BY PERSONAL REQUEST FROM DEBILYN... this is the sequel to the AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM DONE IN, IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING... "TURN THE BATH TAPS OFF, THEN CALL THE FIREBRIGADE, AND THEN GET THE OTHER TORCH AND COME TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO SHINE THE TORCH FOR YOUR BROTHER, 'CO...	Heartbroken	5	497	Jan 28, 2008 by david62
	my laugh more story (Preview) This morning I read the sotries that showed the alanon promise of "you will laugh more". I laughed until my sides ached. It brought to my mind a story. I have 3 dogs in the house. We have 2 doggie doors to the back yard and they come and go as they wish when we are at home. I had made an appointment f...	afglin	4	568	Jan 27, 2008 by afglin
	Deja Vu (Preview) Here i am almost midnight drunk son in my kitchen. I'm hanging out to make sure he doesn't burn down the house or leave. I know detach, but I am going to sleep eventually and I don't need to have the police wake me up. I'm mad and frustrated and tired of this. He asked for help today. I said we would and by...	digby	4	391	Jan 26, 2008 by omajoy
	Physical Emotional Care (Preview) Maresie mentioned this in a previous post and it got me thinking. Physical emotional care. Wow. What is that? I mean - when I was growing up I had that. And I had that in spits and spurts probably until my mother died 8 years ago. Once she died - I have no recollection of having physical emotional car...	round3	4	474	Jan 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	no news on the job front (Preview) I am in a horrible job where my boss picks on my every sentence, vowel, fullstop, email and more. I know in years past I would have walked out by now and suffered financial consequences. I stood on my head and offered to do a job with wierd hours. I have not heard anything from them. I was supposed to hav...	maresie	1	422	Jan 27, 2008 by glad
	A little funny from Kansas (Preview) Oh my, I have so enjoyed the humorous posts I have read through today. Laughter is so good for my soul. I thought I'd share one of my funnier moments (though I didn't think so at the time). Bear in mind I have several dogs, with the definitive 'problem child' of those being a 26 pound wire haired terrier mix...	Tenderheartsks	4	405	Jan 27, 2008 by Becky1
	What stops me from smiling? (Preview) I have a great smile. That's what people tell me. I haven't smiled in so very long. I used to not even think about it. I would just naturally have a smile on my face whenever I was around others. I enjoyed being happy. Even if I wasn't happy, when i was faced with a smile, I smiled back. That's gone. I haven't b...	serendipity	3	442	Jan 27, 2008 by Becky1
	AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM ALL DONE IN...IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING.. (Preview) Back in the early 80's whilst my A was sailing the seven seas with HM, me and the kids where digging a trench in our nearly acquired home. Why were we digging this trench, well the land sloped down to our bungalow and it was a bad Spring and we were about a foot deep in muddy water all the way around, [rising by...	Heartbroken	6	454	Jan 26, 2008 by debilyn
	Kids ARe Truly Amazing (Preview) I have been thinking a lot lately about the past few months. All I have been through and still going through. I can think back even further and think of all the things that have gone on continuously lately. I am not one to handle stress well. Sometimes when I feel fear or something big is happening in my l...	kerry5	4	436	Jan 26, 2008 by leo
	Little funny for the day. (Preview) I was reading the post about laughing and I have found myself doing it more and more. Here is one that gets me every time. I work in a building that has a state nutrition program for women and children and they have some of their promotional materials in the hall. They are these blocks that have pictures...	carolinagirl	6	551	Jan 28, 2008 by QOD
	Shutting Down (Preview) Because of Alanon, I have realized that I had shutdown emotionally. I would pretend things didn't hurt when they did. I thought that, that is how you were supposed to be. I grew up with an alcoholic father who always told me that women are stupid and they are there to take care of the man in the house. I lear...	kissers	3	555	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Today's Gift (Preview) I apologize about the copyright issue. If anyone would like to read the daily meditations, they can be found at http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view.	kissers	2	248	Jan 25, 2008 by Jen
	STRESS (Preview) That seems to be the theme of the week. A schoolweek full of assignments and social weirdos, still fitting in at work. The kids stayed home sick. The AH, on his 5th day clean, was just discovered drinking a beer in the car. Yesterday he fell down in the shower. He has scratches on his face and arm. He says hi...	RainyJamie	5	439	Jan 25, 2008 by serendipity
	Us and Them (Preview) I am at my sister's tonight and using her computer so I was able to read through some posts. I am just amazed at how similar we all are and how similar our A's are as well. Do you think that we are attracted to A's with these personalities? Or did we all just happen to wind up in these relationships, etc? I gues...	Codependent	7	604	Jan 25, 2008 by Jean4444
	COPYRIGHTING (a gentle reminder) (closed) (Preview) I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...	tea2	0	367	Jan 24, 2008 by tea2
	"We will LAUGH more" (Preview) I found this Al-Anon promise of "we will laugh more" just startling because as I read it I realized that NO ONE in our little family has smiled or laughed naturally for soo long. Yes, we stretch our mouths sometimes when it seems appropriate but it is more like a grimace. I think I have forgo...	omajoy	6	804	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Could NOT stop laughing at this one.. (Preview) Maybe it's a woman thing, but I have a feeling if there's any individual that's ever had to "here honey, hold my purse," you'll comiserate...from my email, from Reader's Digest.... WHEN I JOINED the U.S. Air Force, it was the first time I had ever flown in an airplane. We were corralled of...	Tiger2006	2	495	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Asking For Help (Preview) On occasion, our problems seem overwhelming, and we don't know where to turn. Our job is stressful. Our health is failing. But many of us face no truly threatening situations, and we still have problems. Being alive, being human, means having experiences that trouble us. It's hard to ask for help wh...	kissers	3	481	Jan 24, 2008 by maresie
	Wednesday #3-aftermath (Preview) Wednesday was new visitation situation #3 with grandbaby and his daddy here for the three hour block. I want things to work out OK since we have no other choices at this time, but boy, what a difficult three hours. Baby came from school in good mood, smiling, chatting. Daddy arrived tired from work, m...	omajoy	4	290	Jan 24, 2008 by Jen
	Understanding self pity & despair (Preview) Have felt apathetic all day and ended up full of self pity to despair. Then I start beating myself up for lack of acceptance of the it is what it is. I am angry still that I am alone in this marriage and turn to despair rather than action to make things better for myself. Then I waste time linking it with ov...	ddub	8	680	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	My world has stopped spinning and I managed to get out today... (Preview) My meds seem to have kicked in today and for the first time I have not felt dizzy. I even managed to get out with a neighbour and go for a short walk around a local beauty-spot. Utterly exhausted and feel as weak as a new born kitten, which rather took me by surprise. Sleeping is still a HUGE issue, hence my po...	Heartbroken	8	463	Jan 24, 2008 by Heartbroken
	How do I hide my feelings?? (Preview) Ok, it's been 3 weeks since AH got a OWI on the snowmobile...so tonight he calls and 'asks' if I mind if he goes out snowmobiling tonight?? I tell him "it's not my choice, I don't care." He comes home from work and starts getting ready it's all to obvious that I have an attitude...but I tell hi...	tma0413	10	663	Jan 27, 2008 by glad
	prayers needed (Preview) Some things are finally going my way. The landlord is getting ready to get rid of some of the more antisocial people who live in my house. In a few weeks they will be gone. In addition, as some of you know I have had the job from hell for the past few months. I got yelled at again this morning over nothing! I...	maresie	15	399	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Wanting to be approved... (Preview) Okay, so they said the computer repairman had been behind, but hopefully it will be finished soon so I can do more than just post on my own needs and instead be able to also respond to yours as well. I saw the A this week. He showed up unexpectedly Monday. My son was ecstatic so I let him stay on the couch. W...	Codependent	2	460	Jan 23, 2008 by nmike
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.