The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
David's post about the challenge to be grateful to be sick reminded me of my past wkend. I continue to be amazed that our mental, physical and emotional systems are so closely related - when one system is stressed, the others are affected. I've known this for a long time but I am either more aware as I get older or it is more of a dramatic effect now.
I had been on a trip and missed many of my usual f2f meetings and this MIP. So I discovered I wasn't using my new found al anon tools as well. I had a little congestion but feeling ambitious. Then I didn't speak up in a conversation, next I didn't stand up for myself a little later and I was angry not so much with AH but more at myself for the results. I was exausted from the emotional upheaval so I took a short nap and woke up miserably sick - ears, nose and entire head congested, coughing - stayed in bed the rest of the evenning with a bowl of soup. bleecccch!
Woke up Sunday morning so sick that I figgured this time I would need to see the doc on Monday. So having been surrounded by positive uplifting friends on my prior trip, I forgot more al anon tools and tried to engage my AH in some emotional type conversation to bring us closer. He was doing ok so I figgured (I was sick remember - sigh) that we could be ok too. Man, did that back fire to the point that I was frustrated with myself for thinking that way - what was I thinking!! Got out my al anon books for review and shook my head with a 'oh yeah, I forgot.' Started deattaching and physically felt better - kind of like the results of anger driving you to do something without anyones help but in a positive light. My ambition started to come back and then I attended a 4pm Sun f2f meeting. By Monday morning I felt physically fine and was astonished I didn't need the doc appt. This time, the sickness was all in my head and manifested itself physically too. I sure have more control of my life than I realize.
Many times one needs a doc because of lowered immune system does catch a virus or bacterial infection. In my case, I am shocked I became one of those emotional women that it was all in her head. Chessshhh, that usually insults me but this time it humbles me. Our bodies are a much more intricate group of systems than I will ever understand.
I have to think about things in small increments as the "big picture" can overwhelm me to inactivity. With that said, I should stop thinking thoughts and take some kind of action like shower or chores. As an aside, do you know that at-home-mom's don't have a number to call in sick? I've looked for it everywhere plus I have tried to turn in my resignation to various relatives or friends.....maybe even a stranger or two but alas, no one will ever accept it. What a bummer!! There are days that this humor helps me and for the most part, being a mom is the joy that keeps me going.
ddub
__________________
"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
I know what you mean. There are days that I can tell I haven't been taking very good care of me because I feel just generally off. I might wake up achy or with a slight headache or feel sluggish. Now I realise that if I don't listen to what my body is telling me I'll be in for a nasty sickness. I try to listen. LOLThe last couple of times I have been sick have been real dooseys. It's like my body says, "Hey, you know better now, so if you igneore me I'm going to really sock it to ya."
Take care of you.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I know it took me 3 years to stop looking to the A for emotional support. He never ever gave it. As David said it was sink or swim in regards to me and he expected me to give my entire life, my savings, every one of my belongings and all my emotional health for him.
