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DES MOINES, Iowa - Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the 'meanest mom on the planet.'
After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone by placing an ad in the local newspaper. The ad reads: 'OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.' Hambleton has heard from people besides interested buyers since recently placing the ad in The Des Moines Register. The 48-year-old from Fort Dodge says she has fielded more than 70 telephone calls from emergency room technicians, nurses, school counselors and even a Georgia man who wanted to congratulate her. 'The ad cost a fortune, but you know what? I'm telling people what happened here,' Hambleton says. 'I'm not just gonna put the car for resale when there's nothing wrong with it, except the driver made a dumb decision. 'It's overwhelming the number of calls I've gotten from people saying 'Thank you, it's nice to see a responsible parent.' So far there are no calls from anyone saying, 'You're really strict. You're real overboard, lady.'' The only critic is her son, who Hambleton says is 'very, very unhappy' with the ad and claims the alcohol was left by a passenger. Hambleton believes her son but has decided mercy isn't the best policy in this case. She says she set two rules when she bought the car at Thanksgiving: No booze, and always keep it locked. The car has been sold, but Hambleton says she will continue the ad for another week just for the feedback.
But then, I thought, you know, she bought the car, he didn't; he still lives at home; and she set down really clear boundaries in the first place, and is sticking by them. Way to go mom.
Yea...this one has been floating around for a week or so. Gotta give her snaps for standing her ground and selling the car. That would be hard for me to do. I'd take the keys away but don't think I could sell it. QOD
Even though the kid said it wasn't his (yeah right) he has a responsibility to keep people with drugs and alcohol out of his car. I've had this same conversation. My son said "what am I supposed to do, frisk my friends?" My answer: whatever it takes.
My son had 2 F's the first quarter of school. There was some problems with the school but I figured to get an F you pretty much had to not try at all. His car sat in our driveway until I saw improvement (except for school and work).
Miraculously the second quarter his GPA is 4.0. Straight A's. Go figure
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Here is where I have a real problem...even a hint that this mom was wrong because she was trying to control her son is the most ludicrous thought I can imagine!!! Come on now...The kid is a teenager, and to refuse to discipline him is asking for future big time trouble. This mom was right...100% right. I salute her parenting skill, her wit, her humor, and her will. This kid learned a hard lesson; if more children had to pay for their mistakes, we'd see a hell of a lot fewer of them behind bars.
When I bought my beautiful cobalt blue 2007 Mustang with white racing stripes, it was three months old and had a total of 2000 miles driven. The original owner, a kid of high school age had been told by his father that if he got a speeding ticket the car would be sold. He did. It was. I felt a little guilty at first having gained my little dream car from this boy's mistake. But that's life, and I think Dad did the right thing.
Thanks for posting this CG. I LOVE it!!!!
Diva
-- Edited by Diva at 12:25, 2008-01-15
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I caught the mom and son on GMA and she said she didn't place the ad as a way to embarass her son. She has experience in selling things and she said she just wanted her add to stand out. I think she did a great job.
I have seen some of that on the internet but I didn't pursue it. I think there is a loss of privacy somewhere there. I also think that there has to be the mean what you say stuff with an A. I know for me it certainly reverberates around my life. I have to mean what I say.
Consequences can be tough. He learned a good lesson, he'll not soon forget.
Thanks for posting, CG.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I agree, big loss of privacy here. I'm sure glad that every time my parents disciplined me they didn't feel the need to bring the whole country in on it.
I agree, big loss of privacy here. I'm sure glad that every time my parents disciplined me they didn't feel the need to bring the whole country in on it.
I agree. The concept is admirable and very healthy. But bringing national attention to it, can be humiliating and serve as a way to alienate your loved one forever. Take the car. Sell it. And pay attention to find out if your child needs help with alcohol. End of story. Lesson learned. A very hard one....but maybe one that doesn't jeapordize a relationship that may be crucial in this young man's life.
Lin & R3 she probably did not intend for the whole country to take an interest. Still, I grew up/lived in a small midwestern town and I think this makes some good sense. Because everyone talks/gossips so much, you might as well place an ad! I mean, the kid was already heading towards the humiliation tank BIG TIME...I guess you could say she was rubbing it in but if hes a certain type of kid it might be a brilliant move by that mom, knowing some kids as I do... Its pretty impossible to judge not being inside the situation. J.
number one I would NEVER buy my kids a car. I believe they needed to buy their own to know how hard it is to save for one, how to appreciate how it feels to do it for themselves, be responsible becuz it meant enough to stick to the rules, so they would not lose what they worked hard for,and to be responsible to not hurt or chance hurting another.
and on and on.
I don't care who bought it, if there was alcohol in it or drugs, goodbye car.
I HAVE to say however....sigh in hi school my mother found a "lid" of pot in my glovebox. It was not mine, I had NO idea it was there. Boyfriend left it there.
I did not use anything. thank goodness she believed me. And sadly..haha my dingbat dad, out of curiosity rolled some in toilet paper and tried it. Became very ill....hahaha
This was the late sixties....
then another time they found a baggie in my room that was very green...uh oh.. I did get into trouble that time, as they were lecturing me, shaking this baggie... my cat Timothy comes into the room, I say put it on the floor....what??it was catnip...
NO I would not put an add like that in the paper. I do not believe in humiliating anyone. It does nothing but hurt their heart. Taking the car and encouraging them to work, save money to buy their own car teaches them something.
Having them take a class at the alcohol abuse center, having them visit someone I knew who was an A in recovery, or some other learning experience would be more appropriate.
We all make mistakes. I want an open communication with my kids, students. to do that would ruin any trust we may have shared.
Embarrassment in my experience does nothing but damage someone.
