The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Two of my roommates are really over involved with each other. One of them is a person I rely on to get a ride now and again. Neverthless her total preoccupation with the other person is nauseating to say the least (I know this reminds me of me). If I don't seem interested she is annoyed because she is absolutely obesessed (that was me about the A). When she isn't obsessing about this woman she is totally worn out. I find it really super difficult to be aorund her. There are times when she doesn't obsess but most of the time she is really super depressed and even suicidal.
I know I am seeing me in full technicolor of how I appeared to other people when I was around the A. I wish I were not. I also know that I do wish to be mean or nasty to her but I don't want to hear her obsessing either. I am just going to take a break for while. Getting a ride is one thing, hearing someone obsess is another. I can totally forgive those people who avoided me like a plague at the moment. The problem for me is that leaves me incredibly isolated and once again without a ride. I know for me the obsessing is contagious. I just absolutely don't want to be around it.
siting with these feelings rather than acting on them helps. I have not acted out on them. I have not said nasty things to my unrecovered codependent roommate. What would nasty things get me. I cannot control her recovery anymore than I can control anyone elses. I do understand why when I mirrored their behavior certain people rejected me. There is a lot of healing in forgiveness and for me forgiveness does not come easily.
