Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Valhalla · Valhalla

Let judging, criticizing, trying to figure out, manipulating events, 'circling the wagons' with my fellow alanons in the face of my own selfish desires of what I want for my alcoholic? Looking at other alcoholics who are not even a direct portion of my life and allowing them to rent space in my head a...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Everyone))) It has been a while since I have posted anything. Just working my program and staying extremely busy with work and family. Things were sailing along just fine with my A until Friday night. He went out to a bar with some friends to listen to a band and when he came hom...

allygirl · allygirl

I have trouble opening up with people. I have a sponsor who I talk to on a regular basis, as well as good friends and even family.

But I just don't know how to talk about how I'm doing. I always end up talking about superficial things, or what my husband is doing or how my kids are....

dwell · dwell

My A husband recently decided to quit drinking and go to AA meetings. He went to a doctor and got Lirium to help him. He started taking that on Friday night (last drink was Thursday night), and has been to two AA meetings a day since. I was so happy that he'd come to this decision by himself (he ran int...

lovescoping · lovescoping

Hi, Does this sound familar to anyone? It seems to be a pattern that I have seen since my AH started drinking again. So many times I am the one he is mad at the next day. He gives me the cold shoulder because I might have said something about his drinking that offended him. Well...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

So we lost power last nite till around 6am. I could not sleep & was burning up. It was in the 80's here. I opened a window & it did not help not a breeze one. My A slept like a snoring baby. I took my new sleep pills & I think it has the opposite effect on me. I could not shut my bra...

debilyn · debilyn

Ok here is the next step in my footwork. If my A is not found, and I am well enough, I am packing up my horse, Chief, and we are heading to town. Actually I will have someone trailor him over there. We are going to hit the streets and cause attention so maybe people will really take me seriou...

daisygrl4 · daisygrl4

HI all. I wrote my first post yesterday and I REALLY appreciate the responses. I can't believe how much a few responses helps and gets me thinking. My question tonight is what are face to face meetings like? For some reason I am so nervous about attending one. Can I get...

Shadow · Shadow

Last night my A who started as a drug addict and to overcome that he started drinking, you know you can’t break a habit you only replace it with another one. He chose A. My A went to the gym and worked out for 3 hours than came home. When I got home from work we got into an argument and he than prece...

Anita · Anita

Hi folks, I haven't posted for a long time but I thought I'd update you all. I was having issues with my husband's drinking a couple of months ago and gave him an ultimatum...alcohol or me. Happily, he chose me. We did a lot of talking and it turns out that somehow he'd gotten into th...

meglet · meglet

Hi everyone. I've spent the last few hours lurking and reading. I think I've found a wonderful place. I have an a boyfriend. He's been in AA and sober for nearly 5 months. I'm so very proud of him. The issue that we're both dealing with is that we thought him getting so...

cyan23 · cyan23

I am new here - although I have been in need of this place for so very long. I really never understood that I also had a problem. I lived with an abusive alcoholic for 12 years, but I was strong enough to not deal with it. I avoided the heart of the issue so many times - deciding that...

annmarie · annmarie

He's draining the life out of me. Constant fault finding and criticism......says he doesn't want to argue! He wants to tell me all my faults at great length...and then for me to apologise...and realise how wrong I am...and then I won't be causing all these arguments!!!! He just won't leave me a...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I want to thank all of you for your prayers, thoughts, and fantastic suggestions. I've called in some scripts to the pharmacy, and I see my councelor today. I also have my home group BBQ. *Is Very Excited!

* Dad called Mom this morning to tat...

MSKM301 · MSKM301

I can't believe I'm doing, what I'm doing...I promised myself I would take it differently this time. I kept telling myself over and over again tonight.'remember the three c's". I prayed, but I keep calling his cell phone. Of course he's not answering it. I now also think there is serious gambling invo...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I really need to be in class right now, but I also know that if I don't tell SOMEONE what's going on, I'm gonna lose it in class. I mean, I'm at the point where I want to yell at each driver in the road to take the road test again, obviously you don't know how to drive; I want to tell the lady in the neighboring cub...

Christy · Christy

HI ((friends))) I've been so blessed lately and I'm so grateful. Things, odd things just keep happening, although they are becoming more normal then odd. Well, I guess they aren't odd if you have faith.. Among the many blessings this family has recieved lately (big huge ones) in sequence...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hey Everyone, I will get right to the point, my ex bf went to rehab 4 months ago, spent 30 days in rehab and has been very active in AA since. Ok, so, he doesnt contact me once he gets back from rehab, his sponsor says its best we stay away from each other, work our own program, I agree. He lived with...

GoingCrazyinNC · GoingCrazyinNC

Okay let me get started....I grew up in an alcoholic family. My dad drank and so did both of my brothers. My brothers are now deceased (died in drunk driving accidents) and I am now the only child. I feel a lot of pressure from that! I feel a lot of guilt when I can't always...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

When People have pet peeves, you'd be surprised how many times they pet them.

chris52 · chris52

Hello lovely people....... Well,as some of you know,I returned to the UK to await the birth of my first Grandbaby who was expected to make an appearance on the 15th July. It's been a long wait but in the wee small hours of Saturday morning,I heard my daughter in law shuffling around and knew that l...

DoN4me · DoN4me

This weekened the girls got me out of the house again. They kept calling until I went out with them. At first it frustrated me. But then after I got out I realized that it is just what I needed. I took sometime after going out with them to think about things. I am a people watcher always have been. I love to see...

debilyn · debilyn

I am afraid I am heading for pnemonia. I called my son to get me to the hospital. I am ok, not life threatening at this point. Though it feels like it. I filed a missing person report with the deputy sheriff, and now I am waiting for the police to call me. I hope to God he is not dead. There would be no way f...

debilyn · debilyn

Hello nmike, I thought about what you said. Not sure as my head and lungs are all clogged up. ug I have given it to hp big time. If I hadn't I would be curled up in a ball in a corner. really would. What I am doing is the footwork, hp will give the outcome. My friend who married us, neat older man is a judge. He...

debilyn · debilyn

I have not been on much, been sick and sicker and sickest... ON meds but they are making me even sickierest. Plus my mother in law is dieing. I went to see her and she says, "what are you doing here?" nice eh? dieing a B, how horrible. I told her I did not care if she was mad at me or not, I car...

sparkette · sparkette

After my meditation and conversation with my soul today it finally clicked with me that the difference between hope and faith is momentum. A friend shared in a meeting the other day that faith is an activity. That really struck me this morning as I was aligning my heart with...

marmare · marmare

My mind is forever busy, with all the emotional stuff from losing mom and wondering why I don't miss seeing my A. Once again however he has hurt my feelings and I wonder if I even love him anymore. He told me Wednesday that he would be with me today, maybe we would go get something to eat or go ou...

Christy · Christy

Hello ((friends)) Hubby has made it to the 6 month mark! ((gotta love him)) I'm so proud of him :) He's in Alaska working and today sent son and I tickets to come for a visit. He's taken care of everything, which is a complete turn around. He found and chose the flights, paid for them and did all arr...

Becky1 · Becky1

Since January 1, when I became a part of this Alanon community, I have slowly progressed from a mass of nerves, my heart was broken and bleeding. I wanted to die. I wanted to hurt myself. My A and I had been thru so much, including violence in our home, the law was involved. My A w...

Diva · Diva

I wish I could take credit for the following quote; alas, I cannot. Leonard Pitts of the Miami Herald writes in his column this morning; "An excess of alcohol does not change a personality so much as magnify it. Booze makes you more of what you already are, brings to the fore demons ordinarily kept u...

serendipity · serendipity

i am so scared to feel sad.i can do anger really well. i can do happy. but as soon as i start to think that i might be feeling sad i do anything to not feel it. shop, pick a fight, be a bit**, whatever to not feel sad. and it is difficult right now because my dad died and my marriage ended and i've lost my home that m...

unsure24 · unsure24

I fought with my husband today over his drinking and problems we are having with our marriage. I finally told him that I didnt feel like I could handle watching him drink his life away and that I no longer felt like we were a couple. Our marriage has been going steadily downhill. Firs...

FirstTimeAround · FirstTimeAround

Hello... I was searching the net when I stumbled upon your board, it really seems like a great group, very helpful, etc...and now I'm hoping you can help me. For the last couple of years I have been involved with a man. Yes, I knew he drank, yes on occassion to excess (okay, lots of occassi...

bluebjade · bluebjade

I am new to this recovery thing. I want to feel happiness in my life, but to be honest, I don't know how or where to start. Doing things for myself is very hard. I have been doing for everyone else for so long that it has become a habit. I like to keep as much peace as possible, and it really both...

pennylove · pennylove

I worked last night from 2pm to 12am. the entire time I was at work I watched this man go through one of the worst days of his like at my store. His car broke down his friends were on there way to get him when they got into a car accident leaving 2 people dead and 2 people hospitalized in critical care. Hi...

marmare · marmare

Hi to everyone...thanks so much for the PM's that I have received during this hard time. I don't think I would have gotten through all (so far) had it not been for the skills I have learned though counseling and Al-anon.....I left my job June 10th and am still at mom's house. Since I am the ho...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I wrote more details of my vacation on my post " blessed ye who expects nothing for ye shall never be disappointed" It did not go as I expected but I had fun anyway. I am letting go of my friend I had know since 1977 & her son & daughter. I will always feel they are a part o...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((((Family)))))))))), We often talk about "filling the void" when our A's are active. We are told to work on our recovery, be extra good to ourselves, find a new hobby, etc. So it now begs the question what do you do when your A is in recovery? The first year is the most diffic...

moonstorm · moonstorm

Boyfriend of 6+ years on yet another bender for 10 days now. On the phone this afternoon he told me he can't try to be sober anymore; that he has to drink and will probably die with a beer in his hand. He said that beer makes him happier than I have made him in a long time. Wow. Huge state...

serendipity · serendipity

had a conversation with my ex this morning. he didn't call yesterday so i assumed he was "out there". he was. he was still sounding drunk when i was talking to him. now, i have assumed all this time he's been living with his mother that he's been using. i don't ask it's not my business. he shows up here with a...

FirstTimeAround · FirstTimeAround

Thanks for the advice and pointers everyone. I know that I'm not one who can change his addiction/disease...that is something only he can do for himself. (I have a brother who is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict, so I've somewhat been down this road before.) I do believe that w...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone: Does anyone have any experience with getting behind on bills because of As? I'm sure someone does. This is the situation. AH is working part-time, odd jobs (he decided he didn't want to print anymore - his career for 25 years or more - and has taken odd jobs here and...

mimi · mimi

Hi, I am finally beginning to see that my husband is an alcoholic. His problem started very subtly and is still sometimes hard to detect. Without going into ten years of history, I'll try to give you a short run-down. We've been married 22 years; two children - ages 16 and 10....

greta · greta

''A little meditation on the word forgive can throw some rather surprising light on our understanding of the word. We are asked to forgive those who have injured us. Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Rather we would have to f...

memeself · memeself

Hi (((all))), Just wanted to write a quick note of gratitude, for a couple of things. 1) Thank you (((((Dolphin))))) for stepping up and taking over the meeting when I had an emergency and had to RUN out. 2) Thank you to everyone who had given me support, especially today when I was gratefu...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hello friends. I had a revelation today about myself.I was having a conversation with my AH.I was talking about how I need to get closer to my HP ( God),and he was talking about his feelings and thoughts in that area as well.At one point he mentioned the online 'friend' and said " she helps me".I felt a k...

debilyn · debilyn

I have done my best to explain how the program works for me. Last night I had a horrible, horrible nightmare about my A husband. Woke up in tears, sore throat, no energy, Just yuck. A friend called me becuz she was taking me to do my errands. I don't feel well enough to drive. Just miserable becuz I do...

tea2 · tea2

Finding I am a bit resentful for *still cleaning up after a functioning A in my life, my child's father who I am divorced from. There was much abuse involved. He uses the child and money as a weapon… Because it is now going on 11 months since he has seen the child he has forfeited his right to the visitatio...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Anyone read the book 'A Million Little Pieces?' I finished reading it recently and the thing with this guy, James Frey, he acts like because he could make it without AA that anyone can. What I think is he isn't truly an addict, with the addict gene. He began drinking and drugging whe...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

...my "non-A" husband of 2 years just made a confession. Last night, he called from work saying that they had a semi roll over on the turnpike whivh is not out of the ordinary... He just came home at 9am which is not out of the ordinary.... He started throwing up which is not out of the ordinary........

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Things are up and down in my life. No surprise there. But what is happening again is I am getting burned out on school--and the last time I got burned out on school, it was the culmination of 6 months of disasters, and I landed in a hospital psych unit. So I've called the school financial ai...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Hi, so my AH who has been really trying the sober route relapsed, but of course, he relapsed 3 times, he couldn't get it together after the first relapse, nor the second, he two chances to stop his cycle, and instead, he had to wait until things go worse, hit a parked car and got a DUI before he could start on...

Theresa · Theresa

I have been in and out of al-anon so many times, it is not funny. Of course I only come around when I have a crisis. I can feel myself definitely going in a different direction than what I am accustomed to regarding my husband and his relapses. I really feel that he doesn't want to get be...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Lifes terms are hitting me pretty brutally right now. All mostly minor BS but a lot of it all at once. One major issue came up concerning my husband. I found out yesterday afternoon quite by accident that he lied about seeing a Dr for what was potentially a major medica...

purpleraven · purpleraven

hi, i've been absent and not able to read and reply like i was hoping to! 2 busy, overwhelming weeks ... i got sole custody of my daughter last Friday! with the ex getting only supervised visitation. that was a huge relief. then, he just got fired from his job, and i just found out 3 days ago that he's gettin...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Had an interesting mini-vacation the last couple of days. Due to schedules we ended up going to a lake house for the last few nights. I didn't anticipate there being any "bonding" with my active AW since she out of the blue earlier in the week asked "... So if I went to re...

Diva · Diva

Anyone have any opinions on this Mel Gibson fiasco? He is coming very close to proving a point I touched on. He said his DWI, "just happened." As if HE had nothing to do with it. It was the alcohol that took him to the bar, (or wherever he was) made him drink, got the keys out of his pocket, started his car, and...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

I just want to thank my HP that I have this board to help keep my stuff down to the right size. I get a real sense of perspective as I read and ponder just what each and every one of you fine men and women are going through, have gone through, and how you use the tools to cope and grow. I do a lot of reading here. I...

sld488 · sld488

I got so excited, I just recieved my copy of Courage to Change. I began reading from the beginning. After I finished the month of January, I thought to myself, I better slow down and take it "one day at a time"

But what a wonderful bo...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone))) Thought we could start a self-care thread. What are your plans for this weekend to take care of you? I am: Cleaning the house tonite and listening to my new cds (Funky Brian Jonestown Massacre, Rolling Stones and Sarah McLachlan); Tomorrow going hiking with my two w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Let WHAT begin with me????? (Preview) Let judging, criticizing, trying to figure out, manipulating events, 'circling the wagons' with my fellow alanons in the face of my own selfish desires of what I want for my alcoholic? Looking at other alcoholics who are not even a direct portion of my life and allowing them to rent space in my head a...	Valhalla	5	393	Aug 8, 2006 by Valhalla
	My A has relapsed...I'm sad and scared (Preview) (((Everyone))) It has been a while since I have posted anything. Just working my program and staying extremely busy with work and family. Things were sailing along just fine with my A until Friday night. He went out to a bar with some friends to listen to a band and when he came hom...	twinmom2	6	371	Aug 8, 2006 by canadianguy
	How to open up? (Preview) I have trouble opening up with people. I have a sponsor who I talk to on a regular basis, as well as good friends and even family. But I just don't know how to talk about how I'm doing. I always end up talking about superficial things, or what my husband is doing or how my kids are....	allygirl	4	362	Aug 8, 2006 by canadianguy
	He's just quit - I should be happy - what's wrong with me? (Preview) My A husband recently decided to quit drinking and go to AA meetings. He went to a doctor and got Lirium to help him. He started taking that on Friday night (last drink was Thursday night), and has been to two AA meetings a day since. I was so happy that he'd come to this decision by himself (he ran int...	dwell	10	397	Aug 8, 2006 by Jerry F
	He's the one that drank, but I'm the one he's mad at??? (Preview) Hi, Does this sound familar to anyone? It seems to be a pattern that I have seen since my AH started drinking again. So many times I am the one he is mad at the next day. He gives me the cold shoulder because I might have said something about his drinking that offended him. Well...	lovescoping	5	341	Aug 8, 2006 by maresie2
	So anyway more on my soap opera of a life (long & somewhat boring) (Preview) So we lost power last nite till around 6am. I could not sleep & was burning up. It was in the 80's here. I opened a window & it did not help not a breeze one. My A slept like a snoring baby. I took my new sleep pills & I think it has the opposite effect on me. I could not shut my bra...	hmrnrnmm	4	314	Aug 8, 2006 by maresie2
	Your eccentric alanon sister (Preview) Ok here is the next step in my footwork. If my A is not found, and I am well enough, I am packing up my horse, Chief, and we are heading to town. Actually I will have someone trailor him over there. We are going to hit the streets and cause attention so maybe people will really take me seriou...	debilyn	6	411	Aug 8, 2006 by Jerry F
	face to face meetings??? (Preview) HI all. I wrote my first post yesterday and I REALLY appreciate the responses. I can't believe how much a few responses helps and gets me thinking. My question tonight is what are face to face meetings like? For some reason I am so nervous about attending one. Can I get...	daisygrl4	8	454	Aug 8, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Disgusted and venting (Preview) Last night my A who started as a drug addict and to overcome that he started drinking, you know you can’t break a habit you only replace it with another one. He chose A. My A went to the gym and worked out for 3 hours than came home. When I got home from work we got into an argument and he than prece...	Shadow	8	343	Aug 8, 2006 by shadow1
	Update (Preview) Hi folks, I haven't posted for a long time but I thought I'd update you all. I was having issues with my husband's drinking a couple of months ago and gave him an ultimatum...alcohol or me. Happily, he chose me. We did a lot of talking and it turns out that somehow he'd gotten into th...	Anita	3	220	Aug 8, 2006 by hersh
	New here - Does the selfishness get better? (Preview) Hi everyone. I've spent the last few hours lurking and reading. I think I've found a wonderful place. I have an a boyfriend. He's been in AA and sober for nearly 5 months. I'm so very proud of him. The issue that we're both dealing with is that we thought him getting so...	meglet	9	358	Aug 8, 2006 by nycbt
	So - I am in recovery - who knew (Preview) I am new here - although I have been in need of this place for so very long. I really never understood that I also had a problem. I lived with an abusive alcoholic for 12 years, but I was strong enough to not deal with it. I avoided the heart of the issue so many times - deciding that...	cyan23	5	364	Aug 8, 2006 by canadianguy
	drained (Preview) He's draining the life out of me. Constant fault finding and criticism......says he doesn't want to argue! He wants to tell me all my faults at great length...and then for me to apologise...and realise how wrong I am...and then I won't be causing all these arguments!!!! He just won't leave me a...	annmarie	6	289	Aug 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Today is a much better day (Preview) I want to thank all of you for your prayers, thoughts, and fantastic suggestions. I've called in some scripts to the pharmacy, and I see my councelor today. I also have my home group BBQ. Is Very Excited! Dad called Mom this morning to tat...	Tiger2006	2	306	Aug 8, 2006 by rtexas
	I'm crazed!!! (Preview) I can't believe I'm doing, what I'm doing...I promised myself I would take it differently this time. I kept telling myself over and over again tonight.'remember the three c's". I prayed, but I keep calling his cell phone. Of course he's not answering it. I now also think there is serious gambling invo...	MSKM301	4	255	Aug 8, 2006 by beachbaby
	Have no idea for a good title but need y'all anyway (Preview) I really need to be in class right now, but I also know that if I don't tell SOMEONE what's going on, I'm gonna lose it in class. I mean, I'm at the point where I want to yell at each driver in the road to take the road test again, obviously you don't know how to drive; I want to tell the lady in the neighboring cub...	Tiger2006	6	293	Aug 7, 2006 by doxie
	HP comes thru again :) (Preview) HI ((friends))) I've been so blessed lately and I'm so grateful. Things, odd things just keep happening, although they are becoming more normal then odd. Well, I guess they aren't odd if you have faith.. Among the many blessings this family has recieved lately (big huge ones) in sequence...	Christy	4	338	Aug 7, 2006 by doxie
	Mtg w/ExABF tonight (Preview) Hey Everyone, I will get right to the point, my ex bf went to rehab 4 months ago, spent 30 days in rehab and has been very active in AA since. Ok, so, he doesnt contact me once he gets back from rehab, his sponsor says its best we stay away from each other, work our own program, I agree. He lived with...	beachbaby	2	224	Aug 7, 2006 by serendipity
	Looking for help and advice (Preview) Okay let me get started....I grew up in an alcoholic family. My dad drank and so did both of my brothers. My brothers are now deceased (died in drunk driving accidents) and I am now the only child. I feel a lot of pressure from that! I feel a lot of guilt when I can't always...	GoingCrazyinNC	3	290	Aug 7, 2006 by Christy
	Quote for Today (Preview) When People have pet peeves, you'd be surprised how many times they pet them.	wallsal55	1	256	Aug 7, 2006 by tea2
	YAY!!!! I'm a Granny at last!!! (Preview) Hello lovely people....... Well,as some of you know,I returned to the UK to await the birth of my first Grandbaby who was expected to make an appearance on the 15th July. It's been a long wait but in the wee small hours of Saturday morning,I heard my daughter in law shuffling around and knew that l...	chris52	12	474	Aug 7, 2006 by ollie
	Reflecting on things/venting (Preview) This weekened the girls got me out of the house again. They kept calling until I went out with them. At first it frustrated me. But then after I got out I realized that it is just what I needed. I took sometime after going out with them to think about things. I am a people watcher always have been. I love to see...	DoN4me	1	305	Aug 7, 2006 by Jerry F
	quick update (Preview) I am afraid I am heading for pnemonia. I called my son to get me to the hospital. I am ok, not life threatening at this point. Though it feels like it. I filed a missing person report with the deputy sheriff, and now I am waiting for the police to call me. I hope to God he is not dead. There would be no way f...	debilyn	7	351	Aug 7, 2006 by Becky1
	nmike n all (Preview) Hello nmike, I thought about what you said. Not sure as my head and lungs are all clogged up. ug I have given it to hp big time. If I hadn't I would be curled up in a ball in a corner. really would. What I am doing is the footwork, hp will give the outcome. My friend who married us, neat older man is a judge. He...	debilyn	5	321	Aug 7, 2006 by hersh
	Last ditch effort (Preview) I have not been on much, been sick and sicker and sickest... ON meds but they are making me even sickierest. Plus my mother in law is dieing. I went to see her and she says, "what are you doing here?" nice eh? dieing a B, how horrible. I told her I did not care if she was mad at me or not, I car...	debilyn	9	336	Aug 7, 2006 by hersh
	hope v faith (Preview) After my meditation and conversation with my soul today it finally clicked with me that the difference between hope and faith is momentum. A friend shared in a meeting the other day that faith is an activity. That really struck me this morning as I was aligning my heart with...	sparkette	3	323	Aug 7, 2006 by Karilynn
	Here I am again (Preview) My mind is forever busy, with all the emotional stuff from losing mom and wondering why I don't miss seeing my A. Once again however he has hurt my feelings and I wonder if I even love him anymore. He told me Wednesday that he would be with me today, maybe we would go get something to eat or go ou...	marmare	7	252	Aug 7, 2006 by leo
	Six Months!! Woohoo (Preview) Hello ((friends)) Hubby has made it to the 6 month mark! ((gotta love him)) I'm so proud of him :) He's in Alaska working and today sent son and I tickets to come for a visit. He's taken care of everything, which is a complete turn around. He found and chose the flights, paid for them and did all arr...	Christy	15	448	Aug 7, 2006 by leo
	Finally Taking Care of Myself (Preview) Since January 1, when I became a part of this Alanon community, I have slowly progressed from a mass of nerves, my heart was broken and bleeding. I wanted to die. I wanted to hurt myself. My A and I had been thru so much, including violence in our home, the law was involved. My A w...	Becky1	7	410	Aug 7, 2006 by waterlesschain
	Another way to look at it. (Preview) I wish I could take credit for the following quote; alas, I cannot. Leonard Pitts of the Miami Herald writes in his column this morning; "An excess of alcohol does not change a personality so much as magnify it. Booze makes you more of what you already are, brings to the fore demons ordinarily kept u...	Diva	17	482	Aug 7, 2006 by Becky1
	scared to be sad (Preview) i am so scared to feel sad.i can do anger really well. i can do happy. but as soon as i start to think that i might be feeling sad i do anything to not feel it. shop, pick a fight, be a bit**, whatever to not feel sad. and it is difficult right now because my dad died and my marriage ended and i've lost my home that m...	serendipity	3	300	Aug 7, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	kaliedoscope of feelings (Preview) I fought with my husband today over his drinking and problems we are having with our marriage. I finally told him that I didnt feel like I could handle watching him drink his life away and that I no longer felt like we were a couple. Our marriage has been going steadily downhill. Firs...	unsure24	3	327	Aug 7, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	Newbie...looking for Advice/Guidance... (Preview) Hello... I was searching the net when I stumbled upon your board, it really seems like a great group, very helpful, etc...and now I'm hoping you can help me. For the last couple of years I have been involved with a man. Yes, I knew he drank, yes on occassion to excess (okay, lots of occassi...	FirstTimeAround	6	326	Aug 7, 2006 by waterlesschain
	Need a starting point (Preview) I am new to this recovery thing. I want to feel happiness in my life, but to be honest, I don't know how or where to start. Doing things for myself is very hard. I have been doing for everyone else for so long that it has become a habit. I like to keep as much peace as possible, and it really both...	bluebjade	6	378	Aug 7, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	Don't know what to do (Preview) I worked last night from 2pm to 12am. the entire time I was at work I watched this man go through one of the worst days of his like at my store. His car broke down his friends were on there way to get him when they got into a car accident leaving 2 people dead and 2 people hospitalized in critical care. Hi...	pennylove	10	421	Aug 7, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	Just a short note.... (Preview) Hi to everyone...thanks so much for the PM's that I have received during this hard time. I don't think I would have gotten through all (so far) had it not been for the skills I have learned though counseling and Al-anon.....I left my job June 10th and am still at mom's house. Since I am the ho...	marmare	6	296	Aug 7, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	My vacation & my cousin (Preview) I wrote more details of my vacation on my post " blessed ye who expects nothing for ye shall never be disappointed" It did not go as I expected but I had fun anyway. I am letting go of my friend I had know since 1977 & her son & daughter. I will always feel they are a part o...	hmrnrnmm	0	338	Aug 6, 2006 by hmrnrnmm
	Filling the void (Preview) (((((((((((((Family)))))))))), We often talk about "filling the void" when our A's are active. We are told to work on our recovery, be extra good to ourselves, find a new hobby, etc. So it now begs the question what do you do when your A is in recovery? The first year is the most diffic...	Karilynn	3	333	Aug 6, 2006 by nmike
	He chose the beer (Preview) Boyfriend of 6+ years on yet another bender for 10 days now. On the phone this afternoon he told me he can't try to be sober anymore; that he has to drink and will probably die with a beer in his hand. He said that beer makes him happier than I have made him in a long time. Wow. Huge state...	moonstorm	8	472	Aug 6, 2006 by moonstorm
	sad (Preview) had a conversation with my ex this morning. he didn't call yesterday so i assumed he was "out there". he was. he was still sounding drunk when i was talking to him. now, i have assumed all this time he's been living with his mother that he's been using. i don't ask it's not my business. he shows up here with a...	serendipity	2	272	Aug 6, 2006 by nmike
	Thanks.... (Preview) Thanks for the advice and pointers everyone. I know that I'm not one who can change his addiction/disease...that is something only he can do for himself. (I have a brother who is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict, so I've somewhat been down this road before.) I do believe that w...	FirstTimeAround	4	258	Aug 6, 2006 by lin0606
	House payments, etc. (Preview) Hi everyone: Does anyone have any experience with getting behind on bills because of As? I'm sure someone does. This is the situation. AH is working part-time, odd jobs (he decided he didn't want to print anymore - his career for 25 years or more - and has taken odd jobs here and...	hersh	11	462	Aug 6, 2006 by Diva
	Newbie - many questions (Preview) Hi, I am finally beginning to see that my husband is an alcoholic. His problem started very subtly and is still sometimes hard to detect. Without going into ten years of history, I'll try to give you a short run-down. We've been married 22 years; two children - ages 16 and 10....	mimi	15	602	Aug 6, 2006 by Vicky R
	Forgiveness (Preview) ''A little meditation on the word forgive can throw some rather surprising light on our understanding of the word. We are asked to forgive those who have injured us. Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Rather we would have to f...	greta	3	728	Aug 6, 2006 by Christy
	Just a note of gratitude (Preview) Hi (((all))), Just wanted to write a quick note of gratitude, for a couple of things. 1) Thank you (((((Dolphin))))) for stepping up and taking over the meeting when I had an emergency and had to RUN out. 2) Thank you to everyone who had given me support, especially today when I was gratefu...	memeself	3	231	Aug 6, 2006 by memeself
	another layer of the onion falls away (Preview) Hello friends. I had a revelation today about myself.I was having a conversation with my AH.I was talking about how I need to get closer to my HP ( God),and he was talking about his feelings and thoughts in that area as well.At one point he mentioned the online 'friend' and said " she helps me".I felt a k...	drucilla06	3	452	Aug 6, 2006 by lin0606
	Sharing the alanon experience (Preview) I have done my best to explain how the program works for me. Last night I had a horrible, horrible nightmare about my A husband. Woke up in tears, sore throat, no energy, Just yuck. A friend called me becuz she was taking me to do my errands. I don't feel well enough to drive. Just miserable becuz I do...	debilyn	6	498	Aug 6, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	Holding the Alcoholic Parent Accountable (Preview) Finding I am a bit resentful for *still cleaning up after a functioning A in my life, my child's father who I am divorced from. There was much abuse involved. He uses the child and money as a weapon… Because it is now going on 11 months since he has seen the child he has forfeited his right to the visitatio...	tea2	11	1054	Aug 5, 2006 by jrtjosey
	A Million Little Pieces (Preview) Anyone read the book 'A Million Little Pieces?' I finished reading it recently and the thing with this guy, James Frey, he acts like because he could make it without AA that anyone can. What I think is he isn't truly an addict, with the addict gene. He began drinking and drugging whe...	sdisnie	12	543	Aug 5, 2006 by tishrijo
	OH CRAP...what's going ON!!!???? (Preview) ...my "non-A" husband of 2 years just made a confession. Last night, he called from work saying that they had a semi roll over on the turnpike whivh is not out of the ordinary... He just came home at 9am which is not out of the ordinary.... He started throwing up which is not out of the ordinary........	jonibaloni	9	367	Aug 5, 2006 by serendipity
	Sign from God? (Preview) Things are up and down in my life. No surprise there. But what is happening again is I am getting burned out on school--and the last time I got burned out on school, it was the culmination of 6 months of disasters, and I landed in a hospital psych unit. So I've called the school financial ai...	Tiger2006	10	469	Aug 5, 2006 by buzzfree
	Any info on DUI's? (Preview) Hi, so my AH who has been really trying the sober route relapsed, but of course, he relapsed 3 times, he couldn't get it together after the first relapse, nor the second, he two chances to stop his cycle, and instead, he had to wait until things go worse, hit a parked car and got a DUI before he could start on...	sdisnie	8	356	Aug 5, 2006 by shadow1
	Newbie in Crisis (Preview) I have been in and out of al-anon so many times, it is not funny. Of course I only come around when I have a crisis. I can feel myself definitely going in a different direction than what I am accustomed to regarding my husband and his relapses. I really feel that he doesn't want to get be...	Theresa	8	840	Aug 5, 2006 by onehappycamper
	Life on Life's Terms (Preview) Lifes terms are hitting me pretty brutally right now. All mostly minor BS but a lot of it all at once. One major issue came up concerning my husband. I found out yesterday afternoon quite by accident that he lied about seeing a Dr for what was potentially a major medica...	AlaMom	4	285	Aug 5, 2006 by Tiger2006
	checking in; a question (Preview) hi, i've been absent and not able to read and reply like i was hoping to! 2 busy, overwhelming weeks ... i got sole custody of my daughter last Friday! with the ex getting only supervised visitation. that was a huge relief. then, he just got fired from his job, and i just found out 3 days ago that he's gettin...	purpleraven	4	419	Aug 5, 2006 by nmike
	Just an observation... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Had an interesting mini-vacation the last couple of days. Due to schedules we ended up going to a lake house for the last few nights. I didn't anticipate there being any "bonding" with my active AW since she out of the blue earlier in the week asked "... So if I went to re...	rtexas	5	348	Aug 5, 2006 by nmike
	Stepping on dangerous ground... (Preview) Anyone have any opinions on this Mel Gibson fiasco? He is coming very close to proving a point I touched on. He said his DWI, "just happened." As if HE had nothing to do with it. It was the alcohol that took him to the bar, (or wherever he was) made him drink, got the keys out of his pocket, started his car, and...	Diva	14	630	Aug 5, 2006 by athena12
	Me and my GONE WITH THE WIND crap.... (Preview) I just want to thank my HP that I have this board to help keep my stuff down to the right size. I get a real sense of perspective as I read and ponder just what each and every one of you fine men and women are going through, have gone through, and how you use the tools to cope and grow. I do a lot of reading here. I...	jonibaloni	4	392	Aug 5, 2006 by athena12
	Received Book! (Preview) I got so excited, I just recieved my copy of Courage to Change. I began reading from the beginning. After I finished the month of January, I thought to myself, I better slow down and take it "one day at a time" But what a wonderful bo...	sld488	3	241	Aug 5, 2006 by Christy
	What are your plans this weekend? (Preview) (((Hi everyone))) Thought we could start a self-care thread. What are your plans for this weekend to take care of you? I am: Cleaning the house tonite and listening to my new cds (Funky Brian Jonestown Massacre, Rolling Stones and Sarah McLachlan); Tomorrow going hiking with my two w...	hersh	8	365	Aug 4, 2006 by jonibaloni
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.