The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I want to thank all of you for your prayers, thoughts, and fantastic suggestions. I've called in some scripts to the pharmacy, and I see my councelor today. I also have my home group BBQ. *Is Very Excited! *
Dad called Mom this morning to tattle on me for what I was/was not/ should be doing . After an extensive conversation they agreed on some things It's like, you couldn't pay them to negotiage when they were married, but now, whenever he wants something, you can get him to agree that the sky turns purple on a pretty day. So, my dad told me that I was going to drop classes before quarter started, from 18 credits to something around 16 or so--and then asked me if I had done it, right then! For those of you involved in academia, you know the "class fairy" doesn't exist--it involves signatures from you, your advisor, your advisor's credit councelor, your mother's sister 's cousin...... (j/k--but anymore it seems like donating my kidney is less involved than changing my scedule)
To boot, Dad then said that he and mom wanted to see my class scedule for when I expected to graduate. And....I was done now. I said No. No more concessions, no more nothings. I wasn't going to give him a scedule, I wasn't going to give mom a scedule, I wasn't going to give it to any1 anymore. And in responce, he called mom, to tattle of course, who took his side. Saying I was being un reasonable, irrational, and "Here he is offering you an $11,000 line of credit, a peace branch! And you aren't taking it!"
And then it hit me what I couldn't say, yet, but knew, because of your love, support and encouragement--No matter what classes I sign up for, they're not gonna be good enough for dad: they're not gonna be hard enough, or "educational" enough, or "smart" enough. Or worse, I'm not gonna be smart enough to be an active participant in these classes--by one measure or another, I'm going to be found inadequate by my father. And I knew, I knew, that he wasn't taking these classes, he wasn't signing up for these classes, but that didn't stop him from minimizing, negating, or negatizing my participation in them.
Additionally, as I was listening to mom, I knew this was the reason I haven't told her about the incest--because she still trusts him! Because she still buys his lies and buys his stuff, I'm not ready emotionally to handle the possibilty that she might tell me to my face when I do tell her, that "It never happened," or, "Well, even if that did happen, it probably wasn't as bad as you're making it out to be."
Thanks for everything yesterday, y'all. Still haven't gotten the locks on the door, yet. How much does a lock smith charge, BTW?
I am so glad you are feeling better! That's great!
I don't know how much a locksmith costs, but if you already have a doornob on the door, swapping in a new one with a key is easy. 2 screws on the knob and 2 in the doorjam and it's out. Just as easy to put the new one in.
If you can't stay somewhere else, that wouldn't cost 20 bucks even if you had to buy the screwdrivers.
Serenity is our goal, but safety is a must! If you don't feel safe, I would urge you to do something about that.
Take care of you! You are worth it!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
*
. After an extensive conversation they agreed on some things 
It's like, you couldn't pay them to negotiage when they were married, but now, whenever he wants something, you can get him to agree that the sky turns purple on a pretty day. So, my dad told me that I was going to drop classes before quarter started, from 18 credits to something around 16 or so--and then asked me if I had done it, right then! 
And....I was done now. I said No. No more concessions, no more nothings. I wasn't going to give him a scedule, I wasn't going to give mom a scedule, I wasn't going to give it to any1 anymore. And in responce, he called mom, to tattle of course, who took his side. Saying I was being un reasonable, irrational, and "Here he is offering you an $11,000 line of credit, a peace branch! And you aren't taking it!" 
And then it hit me what I couldn't say, yet, but knew, because of your love, support and encouragement--No matter what classes I sign up for, they're not gonna be good enough for dad: they're not gonna be hard enough, or "educational" enough, or "smart" enough. Or worse, I'm not gonna be smart enough to be an active participant in these classes--by one measure or another, I'm going to be found inadequate by my father. And I knew, I knew, that he wasn't taking these classes, he wasn't signing up for these classes, but that didn't stop him from minimizing, negating, or negatizing my participation in them. 
Still haven't gotten the locks on the door, yet. How much does a lock smith charge, BTW? 