Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

whitie · whitie

In 2002 when I went to my first Ala-non meeting I hadn't worked in 5 years. I stayed home and managed everything, managed to enable my AH with all the freedom in the world. After 6 months in program I got a job that I love and found mmyself again. I take classes, work out and feel great. Yea, he quit drinking t...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, My 20 year old alcoholic/drug addict daughter is still in the inpatient treatment center and probably will be some time still. It has been a month Wednesday that she was admited. We now owe $1,000 out of pocket which is good for most insurance companies but not good for my husband and m...

jj · jj

Step Three Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. There is a saying in the AlaTeen Twelve Step Program that says, “God Can’t do his work if you’re standing in His way.” Several years ago a popular song said, “If it don’t fit---don’t force it-...

debilyn · debilyn

Just wanted to thank you for always responding to messages. I feel you as being a real part of this alanon room here. You have hung in there thru hard stuff. I am so glad. Please update us how your daughter is, and how are you doing?? love,debilyn

Ava · Ava

Just a wee poem I wrote the other day dont know how good my poem writing skills are so laugh if you want to - Background to understand poem is that the city I live in has an east coast - white sandy beaches and an hour away a west coast (The Manukau) with black sand beaches pronounc...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"A mob has many heads, but no brain. " Shankara Recent research has led brain specialists to understand that the human mind works less like a computer than a town meeting. kpparently there are many inputs offering different responses to the issues that confront us.&nb...

richard · richard

…my cats, I think about four years of age, so dislike being held huggy like, but much so crave it. And, I do hug them strongly, with locked hold but not squeezing and not locking to ‘keep’ them but a letting go hug… go as they will and ever so slowly do… funny thing about love, well maybe it ain’t so strange, j...

debilyn · debilyn

I don't feel much still. Just serene and I go on, move forward. A fixed what was needed on my rental. I saw no heart, not even a black one at first. He was ok but in two days I saw how the disease has progressed. I have a pot bellied pig named Luster who loves me. He is a guard pig when it comes to me. He hat...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound by the light that I have. I must stand by anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." --Abraham Lincoln

Mamaklop · Mamaklop

Hello, I am new here. I am seeking Alanon support because my husband of 2 years has returned to drinking after 17 years being sober. OUCH!!! Here is my story. My husband and I met in AA in 2002. We married in 2003. He was the chair of the meetings and we went on a regular basis...

debalina36 · debalina36

I am living my life in the now. I am not making any plans for tomorrow, except I know I go to work and then go to my meeting. My A took his assessment, paid his $100.00 and will meet with them on Monday's and Thursday's 6-8pm. He has a list of employers to go to tomorrow and says he will have a high paying job this...

cah · cah

I find that my expectations get me in so much trouble. When the a goes through a good spell, doesn't drink much if at all, or whatever, I expect for things to continue like that. If he is on a binge, my expectations are similar, as in things will never change, etc etc. And I get disappoi...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I hope this post finds everyone well. :) When my husband relapsed I had no choice but to stick to my word. I had told him that under no circumstances would the kids and I live with active drinking. We where aware that there could be slip ups, and we would keep quiet about that, but when he be...

she123 · she123

Dear Friends, I've been coming into the chat/meeting room for about five years now, but this is the first time I have posted on the Message Board. I've made so many friends in the room who have given so much support on many occasions. And I'm reaching out again tonight. I thought I...

cant stand it · cant stand it

My "a" called at 4pm, said he'd be home in 1 1/2 hours. Ok, as usual I made dinner for my kids, a placemat was placed on the table for the "a" by my youngest child. And not to my surprise, no "a". After reading you posts, I do not call to see where he is, its his problem, but... the youngest wants to know when he's...

Mark S · Mark S

Hey all Been having quite a time lately, lol probably notice at the board a lot lately. If ever read my replies you probably know my story so I won’t go into that as I seem to tie it into most every reply anyway ..humm. Anyhow while wife is off to rehab for a month I am playing Mr. Mom. I did it a couple years...

Phil · Phil

Fear and focus by Chris Joosse Books to read: 'The Fear Book', by Cheri Huber Its a common ground that we all share and often joke about, but don't always discuss seriously. We kind of have a tradition of 'bucking up' and 'persisting through it' as a way to deal with fear in order to...

luv123 · luv123

Well it is so good 2 b back-was skiing up north 4 a week with both healthy and unhealthy family members and I need to be coming herre and to meetings. some thoughts on ealrier meeting: I heard others sharing at meeting and I could relate to both gratitiude and to someone...

kerry5 · kerry5

Here are some of my favorites that i recieved the first year i was in alanon hope you enjoy. If I Continue.... IF i continue to see things the way i have always seen things, I will continue to think the way i have always thought. If i continue to think the way i have always thought, I will continue...

jj · jj

So I posted the other day about how things between my AH and how in using the steps for me has made such a difference. So A phoned lastnight to say he was stopping at a friends to have a visit, Fine with me I had told him and mentioned that if it was late just to spend the night there...so...we hung up and a few...

Lucy_A · Lucy_A

This is a paper that I got off the internet about Cross-talk and Boundiaries. The type is large cuz of my eyes. :) I want y'all to know this is not CAL. I was typing it in the room during open chat and another alanon encouraged me to type it here as well. Crosstalk and Boun...

Phil · Phil

Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits I must be liked by everyone.

kerry5 · kerry5

I see alot of posts lately about not feeling welcome in the chatroom or not getting support. And alot of people saying theres more joking than supporting. I too at times have felt unsupported in the chatroom but ive been here two years ago for two years and have come back i left for different reasons. Usu...

richard · richard

JJ reminded me that letting go is so very much neat. I let go of my son’s recovery from his horrendous childhood and drug abuse, and his God and him are doing just fine going down my son’s path in life. My son seems to be trying very hard and is succeeding become independent of me financially. He lost severa...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify. No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how...

jj · jj

Here is step 2. (please keep in mind this is from Naranon forum thats why it says addic but is the same for alanon) Hope this helps others Step Two Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us have lived with or had relationships with addicts wh...

jj · jj

this was posted on another foum post. I am not sure if it is allowed but it is very helpful. Let me know if the subject should or shouldn't be posted. Please note this is from NarAnon but it is the same just addict instead of alcoholic. JJ Step One We admitted we were powerless over th...

gardengal · gardengal

Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of somene elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsessions with another's behaviour...

Phil · Phil

1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is. 2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. 3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. 4. Adult children of alcoholics judg...

Smeep61 · Smeep61

I know I am somewhat new to all of this but there are certain things I do not understand.. Our program seems to me to be set up and formated by the acknowledgement of a HIGER POWER and in alot of our steps they use the termanology Let go and let GOD...Turn our will and our life over to the power of GOD..admitte...

page · page

I need help. I have made a life with someone who has turned into an alcoholic. This person goes to AA, but continues to drink- has a sponser- but it makes no difference. I am so depressed, lonely, frustrated, and tired I can't stand myself. We own a nice house together,...

Phil · Phil

Love without condition "I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be." Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and...

jj · jj

has anyone ever seen or read the steps explained? I have a copy from a naranon site in my town and wondering if it is ok to post them to help others as it has helpped me? JJ

jj · jj

So as I am walking down the road of self discovery i have gone back and taken a real look into the past trying to find out when I lost touch with ME. So i have summed it up to when I had my son, all of a sudden I was left out of the circle and what became our social life was now his and only...

debilyn · debilyn

I had not seen a for a couple months plus. Decided to go over to his moms. It went fine. I gave her some Pictures I had promised her. A came in, acted just fine. We went outside and had a nice talk. He is living in her garage. today he came out and he is going to do some stuff around here. fine with me. It i...

esoro2004 · esoro2004

I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions. His 3 sisters feel differently. Th...

Phil · Phil

Here's a process that should take a lifetime. Actually, I'll probably have to come back a few times to complete it. Just how am I to forgive myself for the ravage I've caused in so many people's lives? How do I forgive and forget placing myself above everyone else? How can the hurts of life that s...

cdb · cdb

Hello John, I emailed you and I know you are busy so I sent it again today so it would be easier for you than finding it in the pile. I am waiting for a reply since I feel what I had to say is important. TY cdb

cdb · cdb

Hello fellow members, I have an idea that would help the problem that has been addressed in my post below about ignoring other members and when new people or others come in for immediate help. Please respond with other ideas or let or let the owner/John know if you think this would work. For years I h...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

There have been several times when I have found myself getting annoyed by something someone might have said, or being drawn into a difference that two (or more) people are having amongst themself. I realized the other day that I was doing the same thing I did with my sister and my mom, trying to be...

gknee · gknee

Hi everyone- I am really just looking for some voices of experience to give me a bit of advice. It is hard to find answers sometimes (I do appreciate the wisdom of the slogans though) My H is a pot smoker who uses A as a supplement when the marijuana is not enough. lovely.He has been in counselling the p...

jj · jj

On a lighter note to cheer up some of us. Tonight my daughter was talking to her grandpa on the phone he was asking her what she had for supper, having trouble saying spaghetti she "uuuggg hold on I will show you grandpa" proceeds to the kitchen and shows the phone to the left over spaghetti on the stove....

greta · greta

I was given this by an alanon friend early in my program, it really helped me to understand ........ One Day At A Time THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-...

debalina36 · debalina36

Monday night my A and I made a break through. I've been reading my ODAT book and pasting little sayings around the house to remind myself how to react when things got tough. Well, it all started with me asking him for a separation for a while. I told him I still loved him but didn't like who he becomes when...

esoro2004 · esoro2004

My partner has just gone into a detox/rehab to get the help he so very badly needs. And I'm very happy for him, yet afraid that when he comes out that he will not want to be with me anymore. We abused alcohol together for awhile, and then I went into recovery. He has told me many times he l...

Ignoring other members · cdb

Hello fellow members, We don't come here because we are happy or painfree. We came here for the opposite reason. We all need support and undestanding. That is why it is important for all of us to show compassion for others even though we have our own differences. Personal...

lilleah · lilleah

My A called at 2:00 and wanted to stay and play cards with friends. i said no, but he did anyway. He Promised he would call if he'd be later than 3:30, but it is after 3:30, and nothing! I tried to call, but no answer. I don't know whether to be mad, or scared, or think he is with another girl. I am just sitting he...

Angel_23 · Angel_23

My A boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. He's been sober and attending AA on a regular basis for 2 years on March 2nd. We've had a lot of problems, mainly because we're so similar. We've been trying the last 2 months to fix our relationship and make it work.&nb...

wille · wille

Hi all, I so love the story of going out to have a day with the ma nice I did decide to put the a on the curb with the recycles. I know it is not healty to go toe to toe with him, as the disease says to do. The "in my face" stuff. I warned him twice to chill his stuff - maybe 27 times except it had to st...

gabriella · gabriella

Hi , I only posted a few times, 2.5 months ago when my husband was drinking 22 beers a night and I really didn't know what was going to happen to us. I just wanted to let you know there is hope!!!!!!! After years of drinking he finally hit rock bottom and has not had a drink for 2.5 months. For y...

Orchid · Orchid

I recently told my husband that I wanted him to stop smoking pot or I would get a divorce. We have a 17 month old son and I don't want the drugs around him... Shouldn't my husband want our son to be drug free? I feel that if he cares about right and wrong he would stop but he is very stubborn...

kissers · kissers

I've been best friends with this girl for the past two years. Last summer, we were out playing pool and met two men. After we finished playing, we decided to leave. I was walking out the door when I heard one of the men ask for her or my number. She said that we were not interested and walked out. We got into my...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. To understand the progression of the disease in the alcoholic (and in us alanoners, too! We follow the same curve into despair and destruction) www.songdove.com/jellinek.htm www.addictionz.com/ch...

babs · babs

To all: At first thru my journey, I was lost, blinded, thought I was crazy, couldn't barely get thru the day. It was though I was floundering thru my house, unable to see. Just bumping into things, never paying attention to where I was, or was headed. I couldn't see i...

cdb · cdb

Hello alanon friends, First of all I would like to say that the prayers for dying people like kerry5's mother are far more important than my request. Please first pray for her and her family. I feel a little funny asking for my prayer for my son but I do believe it helps for others to pray for something as...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

When we see loved ones do things that hurt themselves, we hurt too. When they act self-defeating or are addicted or when we see their pain and the trouble they cause themselves and others, we might gladly turn ourselves inside out for them if it would help. But it would not. Sometimes he...

babs · babs

Hello again, I'm new to this. I understand detachment, enabling, the 1st step, help yourself, can't fix the A. I've been online 3-4 times. Been to 1 meeting f2f. Reading the lit. It does seem to help. I'll keep going. Each day lately I do something for my self...

cant stand it · cant stand it

Hello all, I've been reading your posts and Im very sorry that we are all in such an unfortunate situation. From what I am reading, I have to ask, is it true that Im just suppose to enable this behavior of my "a"??? I do realize that its not me, I do realize that I cant control it, but its very deg...

Ignoring other members · cdb

Most of us here didn't come here because we were happy and painfree. IN fact, it is just the opposite. The chatroom dynamics can be quite interesting at times, especially when there are alot of people chatting at the same time. Some of us are multitasking or running back and forth to the computer trying...

catherine · catherine

Your replies helped me very much. I'm feeling better this morning. I finally got a good night's sleep with the help of a sleeping pill. I'm getting back into my work routine again which stablizes me. My HP is relieving me of my excessive worries again now too. It s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A work in progress (Preview) In 2002 when I went to my first Ala-non meeting I hadn't worked in 5 years. I stayed home and managed everything, managed to enable my AH with all the freedom in the world. After 6 months in program I got a job that I love and found mmyself again. I take classes, work out and feel great. Yea, he quit drinking t...	whitie	6	877	Mar 8, 2005 by whitie
	Had to buy a lock today :( (Preview) Hello friends, My 20 year old alcoholic/drug addict daughter is still in the inpatient treatment center and probably will be some time still. It has been a month Wednesday that she was admited. We now owe $1,000 out of pocket which is good for most insurance companies but not good for my husband and m...	cdb	3	941	Mar 7, 2005 by cdb
	step 3&4 explained (Preview) Step Three Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. There is a saying in the AlaTeen Twelve Step Program that says, “God Can’t do his work if you’re standing in His way.” Several years ago a popular song said, “If it don’t fit---don’t force it-...	jj	3	1361	Mar 7, 2005 by jj
	cdb (Preview) Just wanted to thank you for always responding to messages. I feel you as being a real part of this alanon room here. You have hung in there thru hard stuff. I am so glad. Please update us how your daughter is, and how are you doing?? love,debilyn	debilyn	4	1098	Mar 7, 2005 by cdb
	Anyone wanna read my poem (Preview) Just a wee poem I wrote the other day dont know how good my poem writing skills are so laugh if you want to - Background to understand poem is that the city I live in has an east coast - white sandy beaches and an hour away a west coast (The Manukau) with black sand beaches pronounc...	Ava	6	1438	Mar 7, 2005 by babs
	Thinking (Preview) "A mob has many heads, but no brain. " Shankara Recent research has led brain specialists to understand that the human mind works less like a computer than a town meeting. kpparently there are many inputs offering different responses to the issues that confront us.&nb...	wallsal55	3	1114	Mar 7, 2005 by babs
	Funny, odd funny... / my cats... (Preview) …my cats, I think about four years of age, so dislike being held huggy like, but much so crave it. And, I do hug them strongly, with locked hold but not squeezing and not locking to ‘keep’ them but a letting go hug… go as they will and ever so slowly do… funny thing about love, well maybe it ain’t so strange, j...	richard	5	1095	Mar 7, 2005 by mstrixe
	update to disease progression (Preview) I don't feel much still. Just serene and I go on, move forward. A fixed what was needed on my rental. I saw no heart, not even a black one at first. He was ok but in two days I saw how the disease has progressed. I have a pot bellied pig named Luster who loves me. He is a guard pig when it comes to me. He hat...	debilyn	17	2672	Mar 7, 2005 by estrelladehope
	Quote for Today (Preview) "I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound by the light that I have. I must stand by anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." --Abraham Lincoln	wallsal55	0	805	Mar 7, 2005 by wallsal55
	Newbie here (Preview) Hello, I am new here. I am seeking Alanon support because my husband of 2 years has returned to drinking after 17 years being sober. OUCH!!! Here is my story. My husband and I met in AA in 2002. We married in 2003. He was the chair of the meetings and we went on a regular basis...	Mamaklop	9	1261	Mar 7, 2005 by Mamaklop
	Taking things One Day at a Time (Preview) I am living my life in the now. I am not making any plans for tomorrow, except I know I go to work and then go to my meeting. My A took his assessment, paid his $100.00 and will meet with them on Monday's and Thursday's 6-8pm. He has a list of employers to go to tomorrow and says he will have a high paying job this...	debalina36	6	1186	Mar 7, 2005 by megan
	expectations (Preview) I find that my expectations get me in so much trouble. When the a goes through a good spell, doesn't drink much if at all, or whatever, I expect for things to continue like that. If he is on a binge, my expectations are similar, as in things will never change, etc etc. And I get disappoi...	cah	10	1283	Mar 7, 2005 by Jeannie
	No more Merri-go-round (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope this post finds everyone well. :) When my husband relapsed I had no choice but to stick to my word. I had told him that under no circumstances would the kids and I live with active drinking. We where aware that there could be slip ups, and we would keep quiet about that, but when he be...	Jeannie	9	1156	Mar 7, 2005 by megan
	Struggling with Resentments (Preview) Dear Friends, I've been coming into the chat/meeting room for about five years now, but this is the first time I have posted on the Message Board. I've made so many friends in the room who have given so much support on many occasions. And I'm reaching out again tonight. I thought I...	she123	8	1314	Mar 7, 2005 by lildee
	what should I do? (Preview) My "a" called at 4pm, said he'd be home in 1 1/2 hours. Ok, as usual I made dinner for my kids, a placemat was placed on the table for the "a" by my youngest child. And not to my surprise, no "a". After reading you posts, I do not call to see where he is, its his problem, but... the youngest wants to know when he's...	cant stand it	12	1353	Mar 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	Mr Mom the Mess (Preview) Hey all Been having quite a time lately, lol probably notice at the board a lot lately. If ever read my replies you probably know my story so I won’t go into that as I seem to tie it into most every reply anyway ..humm. Anyhow while wife is off to rehab for a month I am playing Mr. Mom. I did it a couple years...	Mark S	7	1120	Mar 6, 2005 by Mark S
	A big article re: FEAR (Preview) Fear and focus by Chris Joosse Books to read: 'The Fear Book', by Cheri Huber Its a common ground that we all share and often joke about, but don't always discuss seriously. We kind of have a tradition of 'bucking up' and 'persisting through it' as a way to deal with fear in order to...	Phil	3	1689	Mar 6, 2005 by cdb
	intervention & gratitiude (Preview) Well it is so good 2 b back-was skiing up north 4 a week with both healthy and unhealthy family members and I need to be coming herre and to meetings. some thoughts on ealrier meeting: I heard others sharing at meeting and I could relate to both gratitiude and to someone...	luv123	2	872	Mar 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	Some of My Favorities (Preview) Here are some of my favorites that i recieved the first year i was in alanon hope you enjoy. If I Continue.... IF i continue to see things the way i have always seen things, I will continue to think the way i have always thought. If i continue to think the way i have always thought, I will continue...	kerry5	5	927	Mar 6, 2005 by cah
	funny little tid bit (Preview) So I posted the other day about how things between my AH and how in using the steps for me has made such a difference. So A phoned lastnight to say he was stopping at a friends to have a visit, Fine with me I had told him and mentioned that if it was late just to spend the night there...so...we hung up and a few...	jj	1	994	Mar 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	boundary paper (Preview) This is a paper that I got off the internet about Cross-talk and Boundiaries. The type is large cuz of my eyes. :) I want y'all to know this is not CAL. I was typing it in the room during open chat and another alanon encouraged me to type it here as well. Crosstalk and Boun...	Lucy_A	2	1311	Mar 6, 2005 by cdb
	People Pleasing (Preview) Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits I must be liked by everyone.	Phil	4	1412	Mar 6, 2005 by Ava
	When you feel unsupported.... (Preview) I see alot of posts lately about not feeling welcome in the chatroom or not getting support. And alot of people saying theres more joking than supporting. I too at times have felt unsupported in the chatroom but ive been here two years ago for two years and have come back i left for different reasons. Usu...	kerry5	9	1190	Mar 6, 2005 by Ava
	jj reminded me --/ my son.... (Preview) JJ reminded me that letting go is so very much neat. I let go of my son’s recovery from his horrendous childhood and drug abuse, and his God and him are doing just fine going down my son’s path in life. My son seems to be trying very hard and is succeeding become independent of me financially. He lost severa...	richard	4	1075	Mar 6, 2005 by lalarainbow
	Re: Meeting Etiquette Post (Preview) After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify. No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how...	kismetstrand	3	1533	Mar 6, 2005 by cdb
	step 2 explained (Preview) Here is step 2. (please keep in mind this is from Naranon forum thats why it says addic but is the same for alanon) Hope this helps others Step Two Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us have lived with or had relationships with addicts wh...	jj	0	915	Mar 5, 2005 by jj
	12 steps explained (Preview) this was posted on another foum post. I am not sure if it is allowed but it is very helpful. Let me know if the subject should or shouldn't be posted. Please note this is from NarAnon but it is the same just addict instead of alcoholic. JJ Step One We admitted we were powerless over th...	jj	1	4946	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	DETACHMENT-REMINDERS (Preview) Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of somene elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsessions with another's behaviour...	gardengal	5	982	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	A share re ACOA Characteristics (Preview) 1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is. 2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. 3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. 4. Adult children of alcoholics judg...	Phil	2	1080	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	Rules and traditions (Preview) I know I am somewhat new to all of this but there are certain things I do not understand.. Our program seems to me to be set up and formated by the acknowledgement of a HIGER POWER and in alot of our steps they use the termanology Let go and let GOD...Turn our will and our life over to the power of GOD..admitte...	Smeep61	5	1563	Mar 5, 2005 by cdb
	help (Preview) I need help. I have made a life with someone who has turned into an alcoholic. This person goes to AA, but continues to drink- has a sponser- but it makes no difference. I am so depressed, lonely, frustrated, and tired I can't stand myself. We own a nice house together,...	page	10	1243	Mar 5, 2005 by page
	Unconditional Love (Preview) Love without condition "I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be." Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and...	Phil	3	1175	Mar 4, 2005 by Smeep61
	understanding the steps (Preview) has anyone ever seen or read the steps explained? I have a copy from a naranon site in my town and wondering if it is ok to post them to help others as it has helpped me? JJ	jj	2	1173	Mar 4, 2005 by jj
	Road of Self discovery (Preview) So as I am walking down the road of self discovery i have gone back and taken a real look into the past trying to find out when I lost touch with ME. So i have summed it up to when I had my son, all of a sudden I was left out of the circle and what became our social life was now his and only...	jj	4	926	Mar 4, 2005 by jj
	just a blab (Preview) I had not seen a for a couple months plus. Decided to go over to his moms. It went fine. I gave her some Pictures I had promised her. A came in, acted just fine. We went outside and had a nice talk. He is living in her garage. today he came out and he is going to do some stuff around here. fine with me. It i...	debilyn	5	1059	Mar 4, 2005 by Ava
	Rich and His family (Preview) I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions. His 3 sisters feel differently. Th...	esoro2004	4	1088	Mar 4, 2005 by Ava
	Forgiveness (Preview) Here's a process that should take a lifetime. Actually, I'll probably have to come back a few times to complete it. Just how am I to forgive myself for the ravage I've caused in so many people's lives? How do I forgive and forget placing myself above everyone else? How can the hurts of life that s...	Phil	2	959	Mar 4, 2005 by babs
	JOHN,,,,Emailed you/ need reply (Preview) Hello John, I emailed you and I know you are busy so I sent it again today so it would be easier for you than finding it in the pile. I am waiting for a reply since I feel what I had to say is important. TY cdb	cdb	4	1102	Mar 4, 2005 by cdb
	OP/JOHN & ALL, A solution to the problem.. (Preview) Hello fellow members, I have an idea that would help the problem that has been addressed in my post below about ignoring other members and when new people or others come in for immediate help. Please respond with other ideas or let or let the owner/John know if you think this would work. For years I h...	cdb	7	1224	Mar 4, 2005 by cdb
	Taking Others Inventory (Preview) There have been several times when I have found myself getting annoyed by something someone might have said, or being drawn into a difference that two (or more) people are having amongst themself. I realized the other day that I was doing the same thing I did with my sister and my mom, trying to be...	kismetstrand	6	1419	Mar 4, 2005 by kismetstrand
	getting questions answered (Preview) Hi everyone- I am really just looking for some voices of experience to give me a bit of advice. It is hard to find answers sometimes (I do appreciate the wisdom of the slogans though) My H is a pot smoker who uses A as a supplement when the marijuana is not enough. lovely.He has been in counselling the p...	gknee	7	1355	Mar 3, 2005 by cah
	the things kids say (Preview) On a lighter note to cheer up some of us. Tonight my daughter was talking to her grandpa on the phone he was asking her what she had for supper, having trouble saying spaghetti she "uuuggg hold on I will show you grandpa" proceeds to the kitchen and shows the phone to the left over spaghetti on the stove....	jj	5	1116	Mar 3, 2005 by cah
	The Daffodil Principle (Preview) I was given this by an alanon friend early in my program, it really helped me to understand ........ One Day At A Time THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-...	greta	8	1295	Mar 3, 2005 by gardengal
	Made a break through (Preview) Monday night my A and I made a break through. I've been reading my ODAT book and pasting little sayings around the house to remind myself how to react when things got tough. Well, it all started with me asking him for a separation for a while. I told him I still loved him but didn't like who he becomes when...	debalina36	4	1111	Mar 3, 2005 by Mark S
	Rich and Recovery (Preview) My partner has just gone into a detox/rehab to get the help he so very badly needs. And I'm very happy for him, yet afraid that when he comes out that he will not want to be with me anymore. We abused alcohol together for awhile, and then I went into recovery. He has told me many times he l...	esoro2004	4	1194	Mar 3, 2005 by Magichappens
	Ignoring other members (Preview) Hello fellow members, We don't come here because we are happy or painfree. We came here for the opposite reason. We all need support and undestanding. That is why it is important for all of us to show compassion for others even though we have our own differences. Personal...	cdb	10	1364	Mar 2, 2005 by cdb
	is anyone here? I need help (Preview) My A called at 2:00 and wanted to stay and play cards with friends. i said no, but he did anyway. He Promised he would call if he'd be later than 3:30, but it is after 3:30, and nothing! I tried to call, but no answer. I don't know whether to be mad, or scared, or think he is with another girl. I am just sitting he...	lilleah	10	1417	Mar 2, 2005 by Jeannie
	Looking for some support (Preview) My A boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. He's been sober and attending AA on a regular basis for 2 years on March 2nd. We've had a lot of problems, mainly because we're so similar. We've been trying the last 2 months to fix our relationship and make it work.&nb...	Angel_23	5	1345	Mar 2, 2005 by Jeannie
	the a (Preview) Hi all, I so love the story of going out to have a day with the ma nice I did decide to put the a on the curb with the recycles. I know it is not healty to go toe to toe with him, as the disease says to do. The "in my face" stuff. I warned him twice to chill his stuff - maybe 27 times except it had to st...	wille	7	1173	Mar 2, 2005 by TLC2
	there is hope!! (Preview) Hi , I only posted a few times, 2.5 months ago when my husband was drinking 22 beers a night and I really didn't know what was going to happen to us. I just wanted to let you know there is hope!!!!!!! After years of drinking he finally hit rock bottom and has not had a drink for 2.5 months. For y...	gabriella	5	1248	Mar 2, 2005 by TLC2
	my spouse smokes pot;need advice asap!!! (Preview) I recently told my husband that I wanted him to stop smoking pot or I would get a divorce. We have a 17 month old son and I don't want the drugs around him... Shouldn't my husband want our son to be drug free? I feel that if he cares about right and wrong he would stop but he is very stubborn...	Orchid	5	1333	Mar 2, 2005 by gknee
	Expectations Too High? (Preview) I've been best friends with this girl for the past two years. Last summer, we were out playing pool and met two men. After we finished playing, we decided to leave. I was walking out the door when I heard one of the men ask for her or my number. She said that we were not interested and walked out. We got into my...	kissers	5	1110	Mar 2, 2005 by TLC2
	Jellinek Charts (Preview) Alcoholism is a progressive disease. To understand the progression of the disease in the alcoholic (and in us alanoners, too! We follow the same curve into despair and destruction) www.songdove.com/jellinek.htm www.addictionz.com/ch...	wallsal55	3	3436	Mar 2, 2005 by TLC2
	thanks to all (Preview) To all: At first thru my journey, I was lost, blinded, thought I was crazy, couldn't barely get thru the day. It was though I was floundering thru my house, unable to see. Just bumping into things, never paying attention to where I was, or was headed. I couldn't see i...	babs	3	1201	Mar 2, 2005 by Ava
	Prayers needed..please (Preview) Hello alanon friends, First of all I would like to say that the prayers for dying people like kerry5's mother are far more important than my request. Please first pray for her and her family. I feel a little funny asking for my prayer for my son but I do believe it helps for others to pray for something as...	cdb	9	1215	Mar 2, 2005 by Ava
	Sometimes Help Doesn't Help (Preview) When we see loved ones do things that hurt themselves, we hurt too. When they act self-defeating or are addicted or when we see their pain and the trouble they cause themselves and others, we might gladly turn ourselves inside out for them if it would help. But it would not. Sometimes he...	wallsal55	6	1266	Mar 2, 2005 by Ava
	how honest with the children? (Preview) Hello again, I'm new to this. I understand detachment, enabling, the 1st step, help yourself, can't fix the A. I've been online 3-4 times. Been to 1 meeting f2f. Reading the lit. It does seem to help. I'll keep going. Each day lately I do something for my self...	babs	8	1394	Mar 2, 2005 by lildee
	new 2 board (Preview) Hello all, I've been reading your posts and Im very sorry that we are all in such an unfortunate situation. From what I am reading, I have to ask, is it true that Im just suppose to enable this behavior of my "a"??? I do realize that its not me, I do realize that I cant control it, but its very deg...	cant stand it	3	1161	Mar 1, 2005 by wallsal55
	Ignoring other members (Preview) Most of us here didn't come here because we were happy and painfree. IN fact, it is just the opposite. The chatroom dynamics can be quite interesting at times, especially when there are alot of people chatting at the same time. Some of us are multitasking or running back and forth to the computer trying...	cdb	0	1209	Mar 1, 2005 by cdb
	Thank you all :) (Preview) Your replies helped me very much. I'm feeling better this morning. I finally got a good night's sleep with the help of a sleeping pill. I'm getting back into my work routine again which stablizes me. My HP is relieving me of my excessive worries again now too. It s...	catherine	1	1004	Mar 1, 2005 by cdb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.