The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Okay let me get started....I grew up in an alcoholic family. My dad drank and so did both of my brothers. My brothers are now deceased (died in drunk driving accidents) and I am now the only child. I feel a lot of pressure from that! I feel a lot of guilt when I can't always be there for my mom. My dad still drinks. He doesn't drink like he did when I was younger and he doesn't hit my mother anymore.
But growing up in that type of an environment I feel has really hurt me as a person. I am a very independent person. I have a great job and good finances. I really feel like I have done a lot better then I could have but I still feel like I am falling short of the accomplishments that I should have done. I really wish I would have went to college longer and gotten a degree. So I am constantly wondering if I am missing out on stuff. Did I make the wrong choices. How my life would have been or should have been. Then I will feel guilty for having these thoughts. I guess I think that I should be thankful for the things I do have and that my parents took care of me financially while growing up?? Even though I was scarred emotionally! Of course anytime I mentioned this to my mother she would make excuses about why she stayed and why she chose to live this life. I know she has regrets but she constantly takes up for my dad which also makes me angry.
Well to make matters worse in my life my husband also drinks. Not sure if he is an alcoholic or not. I go back and forth on that. I do feel that he drinks to much. I mean I drink on the weekends but never through the week. I will have friends over or go out and that is it. I go back to normal. Well not my husband. He continues to drink during the week. I have tried to talk to him about it and he says that he doesn't feel he has a problem and he thinks that this is my issue and not his. I mean yes he works, pays his bills, doesn't cheat, stays home and doesn't go out with the guys but when he drinks he gets out of it and I just feel like he isn't there for me emotionally like he should be and also I don't want to have sex with him. I just feel like he shouldn't be drunk when we are having sex especially when I am sober! I just don't like it. Of course he doesn't understand this and says I just don't like sex??? Heck maybe that is it too who knows! He is also verbally abusive even when sober. I have talked to him about this and left him over it. He has toned it down some but it still happens.
Anywho...I guess what I am saying is I need to deal with my past, figure out what is going on right now in my life and also plan a future that I know I will be happy with.
Thanks for any input you can give and for just listening!
So glad you decided to join MIP. This web site is a great place to start a journey of recovery from the affects of the disease of alcoholism. I hope that you will also start attending Al-Anon or ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) meetings, reading the literature and working the 12 steps of recovery for yourself.
My story is close to yours, a little different in some areas, but I have greatly benefitted from working a program of recovery for myself.
Glad you are here and hope that you will continue to keep coming back,
Progress not Perfection,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Glad you found us. Alcoholism has many faces. My husband also held a job, never got a DUI, didn't cheat etc etc. He also was in denial for a whole bunch of years. It's always a clue when they say it's "your" problem, that it is THEY who have a problem. It's a manipulative tactic to take the focus off of him and put it back on you. Try not to buy in to that. If you don't want to have sex while he's drunk, you don't have to. It's your body, you make the rules (we call them boundaries).
Have your tried to locate meetings in your area? If not, you can call 1-888-425-2666 and they will give you a list of meeting places and times.
Hang in there! Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Okay let me get started....I grew up in an alcoholic family. My dad drank and so did both of my brothers. My brothers are now deceased (died in drunk driving accidents) and I am now the only child. I feel a lot of pressure from that! I feel a lot of guilt when I can't always be there for my mom. My dad still drinks. He doesn't drink like he did when I was younger and he doesn't hit my mother anymore. 