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Anyone have any opinions on this Mel Gibson fiasco? He is coming very close to proving a point I touched on. He said his DWI, "just happened." As if HE had nothing to do with it. It was the alcohol that took him to the bar, (or wherever he was) made him drink, got the keys out of his pocket, started his car, and drove. He could have called a cab or a friend to drive...He is innocent, according to him, of wrong-doing other than behaving like a jerk. SO, he makes a quick apology to all who were offended by his nasty remarks, and all's supposed to be forgiven. It's all the fault of his disease.
This is the attitude that I abhor. The "It's not my fault. I have a disease" syndrome.
OK, now I feel better.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
i think that IS the disease. i mean if i were in that situation, being that i'm not an alcoholic, i would most likely handle it differently. i imagine i would (1) not be in that situation and (2) if god forbid i found myself in such a situation i would apologize, apperciate my wrong, make amends and NOT do it again. but i am not an alcoholic. whatever the a chooses to blame:the disease, his wife, the bartender, the way the moonlight was reflecting off of the curb i think is a symptom of the disease. people without the disease rarely, if ever, find themselves in such situations and if they do, handle it entirely differently. unlike alcoholics who behave about the same in all situations as strange as that seems. no excuses, just reality. i had to laugh though when one of the reporters put out the question as to wether or not mel gibson has a problem with alcohol. duh, ya think?
I got very aggravated with the whole thing... almost obsessive...
then had to realize that wrong as he may be, Mel Gibson has not directly hurt me or my family...
I have a hard enough time cleaning up my resentments against my deceased alcoholic mother, ex-lover, etc... I get too caught up when I start 'looking' for how other people are reacting to their disease; how people outside my own life are handling themselves in a negative way... it only fuels stuff that keeps me angry.
I don't want to be angry any more. It's hard, but I am trying to stay away from stuff that's not mine.
Just a tool I'm using at this point in time. Take it or leave it.
Yes, Mel Gibson is probably thanking his lucky stars that this happened in the current political climate that made a cop-out oh so easy to do. He behaved horrendously, and now will use the "get out of jail free pass card" (think Monopoly) that the current AA movement allows him. That he is going into recovery, so everything he did in the past is OK and excusable and no one better hold him accountable since it might "interfere with his recovery" or so the current thinking goes...sigh.
He will do whatever he has to do to make this go away, especially with his new Disney movie coming out. How incredibely fortunate for him that he knew the PC things to say to cover this up...that he is an alcoholic, that he is "sick with a terrible disease" and that he is "in recovery" the magic words that will should make this all go away, if the current thinking holds...
Funny, he never thought he had such a terrible disease or needed recovery until his hate speech was made public...
I'm in agreement with you too. This "I can be as destructive as I please and you must just forgive me because I have a disease" syndrome is something I cannot yet comprehend.
It almost scares me that there is another person (okay maybe two) that think somewhat along the same lines as I am finding that I do concerning this disease.
It is amazing the things that society allows (not condones) in the name of disease. And everything is now becomiing a disease. Did you know that in the new DSM (psyche diagnostic manual) excess coffee consumption is now a disease. So is road rage.
So we are now excusing huge amounts of intolerable behaviour as disease. Scary s**t.
As always you make me think Diva. Thank you
lilms
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Two things: 1. Recovery is a process, not an event.....and.... 2. You only get to go around once. Leave em laughing and make it worth your while
I used to tremendously respect this man. Since this episode of his, I find that I'm not so much focusing on his excuses or attitudes--we all know what that's worth. My initial thoughts have been to what he must have put his wife and children through, considering he has confessed to struggling with this disease for years. I have no sympathy for his situation; he created it, but I do greatly feel for his family.
Diva, here it goes- yes, I am taking quite a bit of inventory with this one. This is the first thing that came to mind with your question you asked 2 days ago -Mel Gibson… I have no answer to that previous post, although this is what did pop into my head as example 101 when I read it too.
Now I see I am not I the only one that is perturbed by his remarks and carelessness blaming it on a disease.
He said some horrible things (of which I feel is way too awful speak of here) and drove recklessly -then said it was because he is battling a “Disease”
He released a statement apologizing for the matter. In it describes his comments as despicable and says he is ashamed of his actions. That he is dealing with an alcohol problem since the early 90’s and now taking part in a program to overcome that addiction (again)
Ok so then was it simply the alcohol talking, (as your previous post) is that his easy out? Well darn, that is like a get out of jail free card and imo a disservice to those who take real responsibility and those who really do work the program of AA. Seems to me he is saying, “Don’t blame me blame the alcohol made me do it”
Well said Diva! He may have a disease, but he is absolutely responsible for his behavior and should be held accountable. Here's another side to this: If he was an ordinary Joe or Jane, would this even be an issue? If my A ended up with a DUI or DWI, he darn well better pay for his crime, because I certainly am not. I made it clear when hubby got his car, it was up to him to pay for it, the insurance, any accidents, etc. I told him that if he ever got into trouble, I'd be more than happy to bring his meds to jail but the rest would be up to him. He's responsible for "managing his disease" just as I am responsible for managing my High Blood Pressure. May I suggest Mel Gibson get a life and get help, because I'm sick of hearing about him!
Love and blessings my friend.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I used to think Mel Gibson was such a great guy. This certainly burst my balloon! Like Coffee Bean, I have tremendous sympathy for his wife and children. Most of us here knows what they have been through. My respect and admiration for him have flown out the window. Shows what great actors A's can be, huh?
My A used to use,"oh, I must have been drunk" as an excuse for pretty well anything bad that he did or said. I guess with his ex, that was good enough because she is an A too, so she could use the same excuse. I asked him one time," If I was passed out drunk, and someone had sex with me, would that be ok because I was drunk?" He got quite a shock out of that one.I told him the things he says and does hurt, and keep on hurting, because I wasn't drunk, and I didn't forget what he said or did. I guess that's one reason I freak out when he still gets drunk on occasion.I remember what he's like, and he hurts me one way or another pretty well every time.
He is normally so easy to get along with, doesn't curse and swear, is shy, neat and clean...then the' monster inside' rears it's ugly head when the alcohol hits him. Maybe because there doesn't seem to be any 'happy medium', that's his body/mind's way of letting out the things that build up, and he has suppressed for a long time. He doesn't complain about stupid things I do at times, but when the 'monster inside' is released, BOY, do I hear about it all. I would much rather he tell me about things that upset him while he is sober, and as they happen, but, I also let things build up, so... I understand part of it. Although, I do snap at him at times so guess I don't hold in as much as he does.
Thanks for the topic, Diva,you really make us put our thinking caps on. I believe he should pay for his actions, just like the rest of us do, disease or no disease! Love, TLC
This reminds me of my A brother.I have never had any kind of relationship with him, he has always been arrogant and condescending to me.
After my sister's death we started communicating by email.Sometimes he would send these seething,mean,emails spewing all this anger about stuff and then send another one later,apologizing.....he was drunk he said.Finally he crossed the line and said something really insulting to me and my AH.I emailed back to him that I am tired of being asked to accept verbal abuse because of Jack Daniels.I blocked his email address and told him I was doing it.
Now he tells my mother how sorry he is for what he said to me and he feels so badly about it.He couldn't help it he was drunk.I do not think he is sorry.He just wants my mother to think he is so wonderful and she fell for it.She wants ME to email him and let it drop.Sorry,not doing that.Disease or not,I am not taking verbal abuse.
The Mel Gibson thing really does make me think about your first post on this subject.If I got drunk I wouldn't say anything anti-semetic because that is not any part of my being.It's just not in me.Also my AH would never say anything like that drunk or sober.Because he does not feel that way, so I know that would never come out of his mouth.
Mel is an alcoholic. He says so and I agree. But he is also most certainly anti-semitic. He cannot blame his alcoholism. He had a 1.2 blood alcohol. Most people are coherent at this level. I think he just was loosened up enough to say what he thought when he finally caught a cop who didn't let him go. Shame on those other cops. Someone, even Mel, could have been killed by his drunk driving. I used to adore Mel Gibson. As a non-jewish person, I am appalled that he said what he said about Jews. I know he has the whole sorry history of his family and his father who is rabidly anti-semitic, but I wonder if his hate can be cured as easily as his alcoholism?
