Hmmmm...

I have not read his book but this is something that I too struggled with, the concept that most people think that AA is THE only way.

I have researched and watched and observed and have come to see that there are many paths to sobriety.  There is a person right on this list who has shared that her alcoholic has gotten sober and is NOT a dry drunk totally without any AA whatsoever.  She seems to have no doubt that her husband was a true alcoholic.

I too know someone "in real life" who was an alcoholic who beat it totally without AA.  He did it  through religion and a wife who threatened to not bring home their new baby from the hospital to their home if he did not give his word he would stop drinking.  He knew she meant business...so he kept his word.  He busied himself with family life and that seemed to be enough to keep him busy and change his drunken lifestyle.

On the other hand, I know two people "in real life" who have tried AA and still are drunks...after more than two decades, AA did not do a thing for them.  Of course this does not mean that AA does not help others...just saying what I have personally observed, not just repeating hype that I have heard or PC propaganda.

I think the difference is motivation, like anything else in life.  I think that AA WORKS IF YOU WORK IT (DUH!), just like any other program.  Any "quit drinking" program works if you work it...if they tell you to stop drinking and you stop...then it WORKS!

I don't think it means some people are less of an addict than others.

I have learned SO much from this list!!!  Probably the most important is that a person is still an individual despite the drinking problem.  A drunk horse theif sobered up is a sober horse theif.

If a person has a strong motivation to stop drinking, then they will keep searching and working different programs until they find one that works for them.

I believe in the "alcoholic gene" in the sense that some people's bodies metabolize alcohol (or actually DON'T metabolize it well...) differently and their bodies break it down differentlhy so the chemicals affects their bodies differently.

When I was younger and tried different alcoholic drinks at the urging of friends all I ever felt was sick. I only took a few sips of wine and I felt dizzy, light headed, hot (I wonder if that is what a hot flash feels like?  If so...why would anyone want one on purpose!) spacey, headachy and my esophagus would burn all of the way down.  Hmmm...hardly pleasant sensations that would make me want to do that again!  I never felt loosened up, never felt happy, never felt more confident, never felt "a buzz" like my husband  talks about...I never felt anything but unpleasent sick feelings.

There would have to be a difference in how my husband's body metabolizes alcohol for him to have such an opposite and pleasant experience.

Science is still studying this, but from what I have read, alcholics actually lack an enzyme that breaks down alcohol properly and waste products from alcohol digestion builds up in the brain.  The waste products are actually poisons, which is why they cause chemical concussions (blackouts).  Sort of like how some people feel "high" from sniffing glue and paint.  Poisons built up in the brain cause a "high" feeling that some deranged people find pleasurable.

Anyone that drinks to excess has to have this enzyme problem, as it does not make sense to want to do something that consistantly makes you feel sick.  Not every young person exposed to alcohol drinks to excess, no matter how much they are socially pressured to do so.

I think it is treading on dangerous ground to say some people are less addicted than others just because they managed to quit and get sober and others can't.

From what I have read, Bill W. was a pretty hopeless bum type of alcholic and he quit without AA, LOL, he had to quit and sober up enough to think straight enough to help start AA after all.  When he was a hopeless drunk, all he thought about was how to steal more money from his wife Louis's purse and how to get his next drink and keep her off his back for not working. 

I would never venture to say that he must have really not been that addicted or that much of an alcoholic since he stopped drinking without AA.

AA works for a lot of people and other programs work for a lot of people and spontaneous remission occurs for just as many people (according to a Harvard University Research Study).  They get sick or have some sort of crisis either physical or emotional that makes getting sober better than staying drunk.  I don't think that they are any less addicted.

Starting drinking and drugging when you are ten is a pretty extreme example. I would say he belongs in the worse of the worse category when it comes to addiction level.  Even though he grossly exagerrated many of his adventures while drinking and drugging, his story of addiction and sobriety is TRUE in its essence.  That he was once addicted to drugs and alcohol and got sober.  No one is refuting that.  What has been refuted is his exagerrations about some of his more amazing encounters and specific experiences.

My husband hates AA since he says it is a cult and I am sure also because we have heard of so many people who go and it does nothing for them.  They are worse drunks and addicts than ever.  I don't accept the fact that there is no hope for him then.  I would like to think that there is some program out there, some addiction treatment facility that he could live with and could help him IF he ever wanted help (which he does not at this time...sigh).

There is not only way way to quit drinking just like there is not only one way to lose weight.

Take what you like and leave the rest...

Isabela

 

Of course AA is not the only path to recovery - in real life, there is not only one path to anything.

I haven't got a lot of time for A's who use this as an excuse not to attempt recovery, though, and that is usually where this discussion is leading. I've heard "AA is just a cult", too, and it comes from somebody who is reaching for his next beer.


I FIRMLY believe that it is not possible for an A to recover (not just 'quit drinking', but actually get better, and become a mostly happy and balanced person) without some sort of program, even if it is an informal one. It doesn't have to have twelve steps, or meetings, or sponsors, but it needs support and encouragement of others who have been down the same road, it needs structure, and it needs a strong emphasis on becoming a different, and better, person. Most of us have known A's who can quit for a week or two, and who can drink like normal people fora week, a month, even a year. However, without something to keep them there, they will slip back.


I was a heavy drinker who quit drinking without any program, but that's not will power. All that means is that I was never an A. I suspect that if we got to the bottom of Frey's story, that's what he would be too - just a partier who grew up a little, and decided to tone it down.

Shanda, do you believe AA is the ONLY way to sobriety? That, of course, is not true. AA works for millions of addicts, and I am certainly not denegrading the program. It's like saying you have a "fat" gene, and cannot successfully diet without Jenny Craig. Diva

I read Frey's book and found it to be painful and nasty to endure. Then a few weeks after I had finished it the news broke that he had made up some of the incidents or embellished them. That means the entire book is to be questioned. I saw him on Oprah as I am sure many of you did as well as on Larry King. When he was with his parents in the audience the looks on their faces was incredible, I thought. They looked numb with embarrassment and hurt. He now has his second book out about his relationship with Leonard (one of his encounters in rehab in "PIeces" ) and I am surprised that the publishers went through with it. I would never waste my time with it. He should have used his life experiences to write a novel, not a memoir. Then we might have thought him a terrific writer of fiction! I am waiting to see what he is doing now, what is happening in his life. Will he be able to maintain sobriety and his family life under the public circumstances of what was revealed about him? I hope he can. I wouldn't wish relapse on anyone.

 

james frey isn't dead yet. as far as i know.how long anyone's sobriety lasts is a guess at best. so, maybe he is sober today and thats good for him. no drunk is sober forever with or without aa. they are sober for one day if they are lucky, or saved, or smart or whatever. actually i don't care a whole lot about how or why a drunk gets sober. what i care about is how it all has affected me. and that's what i wrote to oprah. any of us, especially us here on this board who are facing that there is a problem, have no right to judge how or why another person gets sober. we don't have the disease therefore we can only guess at what it might be like to try and fail and be that addicted to something. although, i do believe that at one point in my life i had a glimse when i was so completly addicted to my ah. i almost lost my life. thank god i came back to alanon. literally saved my life. now here's my question: why are aa meetings protrayed on soaps and movies and talked about on tv and no one ever says they are a member of alanon? i suppose if the characters on the soaps went to alanon then there would be no more soap!