The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I really need to be in class right now, but I also know that if I don't tell SOMEONE what's going on, I'm gonna lose it in class. I mean, I'm at the point where I want to yell at each driver in the road to take the road test again, obviously you don't know how to drive; I want to tell the lady in the neighboring cubicle that the computer *is indeed* following her directions, stop blaming the system; I want to scream out loud at the top of my lungs, but the reality is that "normal, rational people don't do these things." I have gone beyond normal and rational. For the past three days, I have had migranes SO bad, I have had to take migrane specific meds for them. Saturday it was SO bad, I called into work. So, given how bad these migranes are, I called the doctor for professional intervention of a higer level, which is to say I'd use a 3 day course of steroids. But, the neurologist cited that I had been in this position not 2 weeks ago. *2 weeks*. And, given how strong these steriods are, he didn't want me loading up, because it will affect my heart. So he refused to perscribe the meds. I requested to see him super early on Weds. I'm glad someone is looking out for me, because I'm not. Because ultimately what's going on is that I'm so stressed out from living with dad, it's affecting my body--my immune system is so suppressed, I'm breaking out in sores, rashes and other body wonders that don't occur when I'm healthy, joyous and free. I'm barracading my door at night with a suitcase so that if he tries to break in, he'll fall first, which will wake me. To say the least, I don't need to be told about insanity or unmanageablilty, I'm livning it! The thing is, I just don't know what I need.
Hun, sending you huge hugs and all the support one can send through the internet. Sounds to me like you need time to take care of you, I know much easier said than done. Do you have a friend that will let you crash on their couch one night so that you can unwind a little.
There is not much I can say, but you will always have an ear here, so if all I can do is listen to your vents, you can count on that .
Take care of you!
Yours in recovery,
Dolphin123
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Sorry to hear you are in such a state. Physical problems really prevoke mental ones. What do you do for relaxation? Any lakes close by? When I feel like that... (don't laugh too hard) I go to the graveyard and sit with my grandparents and work.
Laptop in my lap, sitting in the grass. I tell people I am working from home, but the sun is shining, and the birds are singing, and there is nobody in the world that I respected more than my grandparents. I don't expect them to jump up and give me a hug, but relaxes me to be there. They are close to the reflection pool, so I catch up on email and clear my mind of what has been keeping me up at night.
Whatever it is that helps you find some peace, would be a good idea.
Keep posting, and take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
The stress can really bring you down, know all about that. Yelling at everyone on the road to go back to drivers ed, yep, been there. When I get like that it usually means I have stuff inside I am avoiding or supressing. It sucks living with someone who is active, I hate having to walk on eggshells if my bro decides to get plastered after work, and insult me and act like he is "king #%!@" Trying to hold on odat is all that I can do. Talk about what is eating at you, don't hold it in it will only harm you. I am sooooo sorry that you have to deal with what you are going through right now. Dont give up, you will be able to get out on your own and not have to live in fear anymore. You deserve to be happy and healthy.
oh Tiger honey, makes me feel so sad I cannot help you.
Here you are in pain and you cannot even feel safe in your home, so you cannot relax.
I too have migraines, so I know how horrible you feel and what makes ya want to lash out.
do you know anyone you can go to their house and rest? I used to have my mothers and that helped so much.
Relpax works well for me if I catch it early enough.
I am sure you have gone crazy looking for relief.
One doctor had me use neo synephrin. Ya put drops in your nose hanging your head over the edge of the bed. That and pain pills, phergan and a caffeine/aspirin/acetaminophen mix pill. I drink it all down with a fizzy alka seltzer thing.
Tiger what are your options? Apparently it is not healthy for you to live where you are, forgive me I don't remember you sharing before. My memory is shot.
I hate knowing you are barracading your door! Are you young and still in school?
To me, the primary problem sounds like you are in a dangerous situation. What have you thought about to change that? Instead of barricading have you thought of good locks? They are not that hard to put on.
Are you wanting to leave?
I am sorry if I am asking too many questions. I have seen you give and give and give of yourself here and would like to be a support to you.
Know that I send my love and prayers. Sit back honey and let all of our love surround you. I too have migraines and mine have been acting up this week too. I know stress does it but so does the change in barometer (for me at least) to say nothing of the fact of the foods that I eat.
Honey you body is talking to you. Listen to that sound. Aren't you heading back to college and your dorm soon? Don't forget about your sponsor. I know you've shared she's been there for you in the past.
I am sad that you have to barricade your door. What about a lock? I will keep you in my prayers.
Love you, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
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