Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Prancer · Prancer

Hello everyone. I came upon this place last night. Spoke to a few people and went to my first al-anon meeting in my city last night. I even participated briefly in the meeting this morning. There is so much to learn. I understand that he is sick. I have dealt with A's alo my li...

canadianguy · canadianguy

A little "gentle reflection" here.... Hi gang.... does anybody else struggle with that fine line that we often walk on here, between being supportive and loving to each other, vs. trying not to be giving advice, vs. almost 'enabling' each other in our journies of recovery? I try very hard...

whitie · whitie

My family had a reunuion this week in my home town and I was looking forward to spending my first reunion without my A husband since I left him last fall. My sister in law (sober 3 yrs) wanted to comfort me about my seperation as she had been through one several yrs ago before she met my brother. The...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

If you haven't listened to them yet, do yourself a favor take the time to listen to them. I have listened to the first two and they are great. The second tape helped me put step 4 into perspective.

bluebjade · bluebjade

Hi everyone, My A is in a bad mood today, I could tell when I got out of bed and looked at him. He is off work today and as usual he always has someplace to go, but before he does, he tells me just how bad I am and the children too. How do I not argue with him, when I know what he is saying is not true?&...

krise · krise

I went to a face-to-face alanon meeting Sat. a.m. I haven't been to one in probably over six months, so feeling kinda proud of myself. It was a good meeting and I think I felt comfortable, because of all of the recent posting back and forth to people on here made me realize that these are the s...

Becky1 · Becky1

A friends sent me a little email that I thought might be a fun diversion for those of you who are interested. It was kind of interesting thinking about myself for a change instead of my A! I'll start! Here we go! Have fun with this, and we might learn a little about each other we didn'...

Christy · Christy

((friends))) My husband is in Alaska working for 3 months. He's been gone since the 19th. I really miss him, especially since I got used to having him here everyday for the last few months (recovering after hospital stay). On Aug 12th, he will be 6 mo. sober..wooohooo!!! Anyway, he sent me a...

abbyal · abbyal

H - hungry A- angry L - lonley T - Tired for 20 yrs now I have heard these words and come to understand that any one of these can hinder my reovery , get all four at once and WOW !!!! HEHE had a few of those days in early recovery. Recently at a meeting I found new definitions...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, just wanted to write, i dont know, just to write lol. I've been a bit distant with the world lately so I'm trying to break out of that isolation I guess. Anyway, I was thinking about the last part of step 12 "Having had a spiritual awakining, we tried to carry this message to others and...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Okay so a thing i'm confused with on the topic of enabling, here's the scenario: If you live with a binge drinker, out of the blue they go on a binge. You don't, or haven't said "if you do this again, your out of here!" you just don't really say anything, you try to go by the alanon rules and go...

sld488 · sld488

Just got in from work and was so tickled to see the replies to my post I made this morning.

The encourgement is wonderful. Christy, thru your insight and imput I see that If I make a decision that is best for me, it is ultimately best for my son. And leaving would have on...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi Everyone, I am having a good day today, looking forward to the weekend, hanging out with some aa and alanon friends. However, for months I have been struggling with the issue of loneliness, more of a lack of intimacy in my life. Not of the sexual nature just arms to hold me, some...

debilyn · debilyn

Well from jail that is. I guess he got out yesterday. Today a friend of mine of forty years..geesh called and he had called her to get my number. what? She would not give it to him but she said she would have me call him. Well I tried but no one answered. He said it was a phone booth. Never heard from him. ...

kerry5 · kerry5

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam tow...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Just thinking... (I really should stop that - LOL) What would things be like if I had gone to meetings and never let on to my AW. Way, Way too late for that for me, but just curious if anyone has? What was the results? Take care of you!

sld488 · sld488

I have just made major decision to stay with my A. I feel this is best for me. I have been rejoicing all day that I actually made a decision on my own (with a little insight from others) but the decision was mine. Now I have the task of telling those who will not like it. I have always just don...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hello everyone. well my a and i have been separated for about three weeks now i think. im doing kind of bad i guess. im pretty sure im doing the right thing but still miss him. the biggest problem is i have let my program slip and need to get back on track. i know i'd be feeling better by getting back into progr...

bluebjade · bluebjade

I have never been to Al-Anon or had any kind of outside help dealing with my AH. The things he does make me crazy, I don't know if it a classic case or if it is norm. but he has two people he drinks with. I can't stand to see them pulling in the driveway or their number on caller ID. And when A...

lin0606 · lin0606

There have been a lot of stories lately about bad news - A's in recovery acting badly, problems with AA, etc. I thought I'd share something small that happened in our lives, to inject a note of hope. My husband has been in recovery about three and a half years. I started alanon at the same time, becaus...

Patches · Patches

I would like to say hi to everyone, I am new here... I have an AD who is living at home w/ my mom and brother. I am an adult child and no longer live at home. I am having trouble figuring out my place in this whole situation. My AD and I do not have the greatest relationship (...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

There is an alcoholic, not directly in my life, but indirectly there through a group I communicate with. The person I have trouble with is soooo sick... will NOT do anything to help themself, will NOT go to a meeting, will NOT go to detox... keeps drinking for days on end into oblivion and wanting everyo...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

It occurs to me the worst bit about what I live through? It isn't the anger, it isn't the resentment, it isn't the blaming, it isn't the shaming nor the self martyrdom. It is the all too brief flashes you get of what they once were. The tantalising glimpses you are shown of what might have been. It...

sandie123 · sandie123

Change... is that what is really causing me my mental struggle. Is change scaring me? I feel this want to be able to stop the knowledge I have learned. I don't want to hear those healthy new words. These new words have been flooding my head, even when I don't want to hear them. I know it...

allison · allison

My A husband who has been Gone for 8 months doesn`t understand why I need Money from him to take care of our 4 children!! He say that he has helped pay bills for 17 years and now it`s my turn to pay all the bills!! He complains about how broke he is and I say "well atleast you only have to worry about yourself..I...

horselover58 · horselover58

I want to thank all of you who prayed for my old horse, Prince Sunday night & the wee hours of Monday morning! A special thanks to Tony & Andilyn who kept me company in my time of need. I will be forever grateful for this room & it's alanon members who show their love & kindness through the m...

ollie · ollie

Just needed to say a big thanx to you. Ihave just read a site you advised bluejade to read,i have been struggling with the word alcoholic,not really and totally understanding what the hell went on, thanx to you i understand it completely ,i have been reading up as much as possible,but this site to me j...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone: Just wondering if anyone out there has lived with an active A for a long time and is happy? I mean I know you are probably happy with yourself but with the relationship??? I am fairly new, learning to detach and all of the great tools here, but, what if AH never decides to get...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

If you would indulge me I need to tell my story to someone. It is not particularly bad, and is a bed of roses compared with the stories some people post on these forums, but I am miserable a good deal of the time. I am not looking for answers because I know none exist, just the knowledge that someone, somew...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys im currently sitting on my bed...its 11:40 at night and i have been crying for the past half hour. still no word from the ex... and im still worried... i cant seem to detach.... i cant seem to lt go and let HP.... what im feeeling is fear... fear for him..wondering where he is and if he's o.k and a...

sld488 · sld488

trying to detach myself from myself for the moment and need a clear view of situation. My A/bf(5 yrs) and teenage son had big fuss. A was getting on to son about not doing his chores and son started mouthing back. Out of anger, A told me to get son out of the house. Son and I left...

babysteps · babysteps

My neighbor and best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last December. She is 42 years old and has a 5 year old son. Her prognosis is less than 5 years full of chemo and illness. I just talked to my brother. He got a new job in a new town this past February. He put his house up for sale but it has not...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I have spent some time reading my old posts. Back 5 months ago when I first came here I was full of emotion (mostly anger and fear). My emotions were bouncing all over the place and I was so happy for that 1 hour a week that I could feel calm. It was during my new found...

doxie · doxie

ok, first off, I know it is my choice to stay....but ......I AM SO SICK OF our money problems being all my fault, being put last all the time, my opinion not mattering, not being listened to, words being twisted around, being threatened with divorce, being alone, being lonely, feeling threat...

renah · renah

All, I am just joining this group but am not new to program. I feel like I am new to the steps because I can't seem to not get angry. I had one success so far of keeping my anger to myself by attending an on-line meeting, reading my literature, writing, and reading the posts.&n...

CoffeeBean3 · CoffeeBean3

Hi, Everyone. I need opinions, or esh, or validation or something, please. I am having serious doubts about my own ability to recover. I'll try to make this brief and coherent. My children are 13 and 11. I feel as if I've been single parenting them all these years because my A hu...

Becky1 · Becky1

Hub and I have gotten along fairly well since the blow up last Mon. night. Then it starts all over last night. Out of the blue. I thought we were getting along pretty good, then he starts in on me because I have too much stuff in the cupboard over the stove. Threatens to throw all...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

((((hello friends)))) Don't know if any of you have THIS problem but I have become aware of an annoying ( to my AH) habit I have.I am always telling him what to do! He has told me I am "a bossy female" and I just never saw myself that way.Now it's like my eyes are open and every time I do it,I see it now.I can't...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, I dont know that I know what to say right now, i guess I was just hoping for someone to share with me how i could apply the program to a situation like this. My parents have managed to stay together for the last 30 years, minus a few months. I just got a call from my mom last night who...

sandie123 · sandie123

I see all the good things in the program and feel the helpfullness of the steps. I have come a long way and know I have a LOOOOOONG way to go. In every day situations I am constantly hearing words I have learned to help deal with things better. Don't take me wrong.... they are good words... words that work. T...

omajoy · omajoy

I have just had the most shameful meltdown you can imagine. I spent the day caring for the one year old grandbaby. I have no time to call my own, so I was tired. When my son came by for his "supervised" visit, he asked me for help with some paperwork and some computer work. That started my downslide. Then the...

signseeker · signseeker

Hi everyone! I am trying to read through things posted but I wanted to ask you a few things. My husband of 6 years is an Alcoholic. He has his own business and the drinking started about 1 yr into the business. We had a 1 year old (now 5) at the time and decided I would stay home with him. I also have a 15 yr...

mysticmidian · mysticmidian

I talked to my husband last night for the first time in 6 days. We are going to go to marriage counseling on Thursday. We have gone to my pastor once before and things went better for about a week and a half before going back to normal. Plus he likes to have these huge blow ups and then pre...

AlaMom · AlaMom

My husband and I are talking about a reconciliation after 5 weeks of being seperated due to a relapse. I have set very clear boundries for myself and have been keeping them with him. These boundries are working very well and I am pleased with myself. My husband has been attending me...

rtexas · rtexas

(((All))) I have read some posts recently about longing for affection from your A. I of course... LOL see it from the other side. My AW says she is starved for attention, affection and romance. Well, in a way I see her point. We have so few days that are civil. I am doing som...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone - Thanks so much for all of your wisdom here. I have learned so much. I wish I had a computer at home so I could attend meetings and chat. Just have to sneak a little at work and post sometimes. I just wanted to vent about how this roller coaster continues. You nev...

debilyn · debilyn

Gads just got a letter from A. I saw him last week end. I did not "get" what he was telling me. Not sure if I updated on this? i was shaking really bad when I went to see him. I hate jail. He says,"you are really shaking!" I said,"that is why I don't do anything wrong! Remember I would not let you...

annmarie · annmarie

I've just finished reading "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. I know it has been recommended on these postings, and will have been read by many members. I found it very beneficial and thought provoking. It certainly gave me a better understanding of A oand of myself. I am in the early stage of...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys my ex boyf.. (the A) was in contact briefly for the past number of weeks... he had got a place to stay, got a new job earning good money and seemed happy-ish... the one thing he kept saying he wanted was ....ME! i told him no... that i cudnt go throu all that shit again..and we were better off rema...

lmt123 · lmt123

This may be a silly question on my part, but does anyone have any experience in using EPH200, an herbal version of ephedrine used for weight control? My daughter ordered some off the internet (she's 18), and I'm afraid she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. I've always heard t...

ollie · ollie

Hi everone, Just need to let it all out,this seemed like a good place. Well my a was here on saturday as usual,(comes to see new grandson)and as usual he was asking for another chance and to let him back home,i come first and all that crap. Well on tuesday it was our anniversary,not a thing of him ,no...

krise · krise

Are there any good books out there about the alcoholic in recovery . . . how this affects the marital relationship? Also, I'm looking for Blueprints book (4th step guide), but Amazon doesn't have it in stock . .. any suggestions? THanks :)

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

-- Edited by JulieLynn at 08:13, 2006-07-27

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Lets see Saturday I worked 8pm to 8am. I paid a neighbor to take me and pick me up or so I thought. Sunday morning I waited until 9:30 no ride. I started to walk. I could not call because lightening killed the phone. I walked about 2 miles to a bridge. I surprised myself on how fast I was able to walk. I sa...

annmarie · annmarie

My Aboyfriend went off drinking and taking drugs for the last five days. He just disappeared. I'm getting better myself now, and don't give my energy away to worrying about him....as best I can. A friend of his told me he's taking drugs (I wouldn't have known this, I was shocked!), and also that he's b...

allison · allison

A husband has been calling me for the past 3 weeks...saying he goes to AA every day..he`s sober...blah blah blah Well I decide to let him come over and see me and the kids.He has no vehicle because he totaled it 3 weeks ago.I was going to go pick him up when I got out of work last night.he starts calling me aro...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

How in the world do you find balance between the 2 programs??? I am taught to really go to bat, as it were, for my fellow alcoholic who is WILLINGLY in recovery... Balancing the responsibility I have as an alcoholic, of carrying the message, along with things like "Letting Go" of a lot of folk...

newyearsgirl · newyearsgirl

hello, This is my first time posting and anyone that could provide helpful words would be much appreciated. I don't know all the abbreviations and everything yet, so please help me out with those. My boyfriend of 6 years, who I believed to an alcoholic, died last week when he hit his hea...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New to the forum (Preview) Hello everyone. I came upon this place last night. Spoke to a few people and went to my first al-anon meeting in my city last night. I even participated briefly in the meeting this morning. There is so much to learn. I understand that he is sick. I have dealt with A's alo my li...	Prancer	7	448	Jul 31, 2006 by Prancer
	What is a "true friend" in recovery? (Preview) A little "gentle reflection" here.... Hi gang.... does anybody else struggle with that fine line that we often walk on here, between being supportive and loving to each other, vs. trying not to be giving advice, vs. almost 'enabling' each other in our journies of recovery? I try very hard...	canadianguy	7	744	Jul 31, 2006 by Ria
	Alcoholism reared it's ugly head (Preview) My family had a reunuion this week in my home town and I was looking forward to spending my first reunion without my A husband since I left him last fall. My sister in law (sober 3 yrs) wanted to comfort me about my seperation as she had been through one several yrs ago before she met my brother. The...	whitie	4	381	Jul 31, 2006 by Karilynn
	Step tapes (Preview) If you haven't listened to them yet, do yourself a favor take the time to listen to them. I have listened to the first two and they are great. The second tape helped me put step 4 into perspective.	Mobirdie	1	226	Jul 31, 2006 by lin0606
	Dad day already (Preview) Hi everyone, My A is in a bad mood today, I could tell when I got out of bed and looked at him. He is off work today and as usual he always has someplace to go, but before he does, he tells me just how bad I am and the children too. How do I not argue with him, when I know what he is saying is not true?&...	bluebjade	8	415	Jul 31, 2006 by maire rua
	Faith and Hope (Preview) I went to a face-to-face alanon meeting Sat. a.m. I haven't been to one in probably over six months, so feeling kinda proud of myself. It was a good meeting and I think I felt comfortable, because of all of the recent posting back and forth to people on here made me realize that these are the s...	krise	1	316	Jul 30, 2006 by bluebjade
	Getting to Know You (A Fun Diversion) (Preview) A friends sent me a little email that I thought might be a fun diversion for those of you who are interested. It was kind of interesting thinking about myself for a change instead of my A! I'll start! Here we go! Have fun with this, and we might learn a little about each other we didn'...	Becky1	12	634	Jul 30, 2006 by jonibaloni
	Card from A (Preview) ((friends))) My husband is in Alaska working for 3 months. He's been gone since the 19th. I really miss him, especially since I got used to having him here everyday for the last few months (recovering after hospital stay). On Aug 12th, he will be 6 mo. sober..wooohooo!!! Anyway, he sent me a...	Christy	6	458	Jul 30, 2006 by david62
	H A L T a diff perspective (Preview) H - hungry A- angry L - lonley T - Tired for 20 yrs now I have heard these words and come to understand that any one of these can hinder my reovery , get all four at once and WOW !!!! HEHE had a few of those days in early recovery. Recently at a meeting I found new definitions...	abbyal	3	353	Jul 29, 2006 by Christy
	Thanks for the enabling responses-just one more to clarify.... (Preview) Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...	sdisnie	2	224	Jul 29, 2006 by serendipity
	Practicing the Principles in all My Affairs... or at least trying too (Preview) Hi all, just wanted to write, i dont know, just to write lol. I've been a bit distant with the world lately so I'm trying to break out of that isolation I guess. Anyway, I was thinking about the last part of step 12 "Having had a spiritual awakining, we tried to carry this message to others and...	mastiff	3	351	Jul 29, 2006 by abbyal
	Thanks for the enabling responses-just one more to clarify.... (Preview) Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...	sdisnie	5	343	Jul 29, 2006 by abbyal
	Is this enabling? (Preview) Okay so a thing i'm confused with on the topic of enabling, here's the scenario: If you live with a binge drinker, out of the blue they go on a binge. You don't, or haven't said "if you do this again, your out of here!" you just don't really say anything, you try to go by the alanon rules and go...	sdisnie	5	492	Jul 29, 2006 by RichardA
	Replies to my Cries :w00t: (Preview) Just got in from work and was so tickled to see the replies to my post I made this morning. The encourgement is wonderful. Christy, thru your insight and imput I see that If I make a decision that is best for me, it is ultimately best for my son. And leaving would have on...	sld488	2	361	Jul 29, 2006 by Becky1
	Longing for Intimacy (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am having a good day today, looking forward to the weekend, hanging out with some aa and alanon friends. However, for months I have been struggling with the issue of loneliness, more of a lack of intimacy in my life. Not of the sexual nature just arms to hold me, some...	beachbaby	2	409	Jul 29, 2006 by Becky1
	the jailbird is free (Preview) Well from jail that is. I guess he got out yesterday. Today a friend of mine of forty years..geesh called and he had called her to get my number. what? She would not give it to him but she said she would have me call him. Well I tried but no one answered. He said it was a phone booth. Never heard from him. ...	debilyn	6	331	Jul 29, 2006 by Maria123
	Scars of Life (Preview) Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam tow...	kerry5	1	265	Jul 29, 2006 by Becky1
	Tell your qualifyer you are starting a program? (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Just thinking... (I really should stop that - LOL) What would things be like if I had gone to meetings and never let on to my AW. Way, Way too late for that for me, but just curious if anyone has? What was the results? Take care of you!	rtexas	11	347	Jul 28, 2006 by TLC2
	courage to stand firm (Preview) I have just made major decision to stay with my A. I feel this is best for me. I have been rejoicing all day that I actually made a decision on my own (with a little insight from others) but the decision was mine. Now I have the task of telling those who will not like it. I have always just don...	sld488	9	500	Jul 28, 2006 by debilyn
	slipping here..... (Preview) hello everyone. well my a and i have been separated for about three weeks now i think. im doing kind of bad i guess. im pretty sure im doing the right thing but still miss him. the biggest problem is i have let my program slip and need to get back on track. i know i'd be feeling better by getting back into progr...	notsonew1111	8	412	Jul 28, 2006 by canadianguy
	new here (Preview) I have never been to Al-Anon or had any kind of outside help dealing with my AH. The things he does make me crazy, I don't know if it a classic case or if it is norm. but he has two people he drinks with. I can't stand to see them pulling in the driveway or their number on caller ID. And when A...	bluebjade	14	445	Jul 28, 2006 by leo
	Real Recovery (Preview) There have been a lot of stories lately about bad news - A's in recovery acting badly, problems with AA, etc. I thought I'd share something small that happened in our lives, to inject a note of hope. My husband has been in recovery about three and a half years. I started alanon at the same time, becaus...	lin0606	6	326	Jul 28, 2006 by leo
	A dad and co-dep mom (Preview) I would like to say hi to everyone, I am new here... I have an AD who is living at home w/ my mom and brother. I am an adult child and no longer live at home. I am having trouble figuring out my place in this whole situation. My AD and I do not have the greatest relationship (...	Patches	5	346	Jul 28, 2006 by annmarie988
	PLEASE REMIND ME HOW TO LET GO (Preview) There is an alcoholic, not directly in my life, but indirectly there through a group I communicate with. The person I have trouble with is soooo sick... will NOT do anything to help themself, will NOT go to a meeting, will NOT go to detox... keeps drinking for days on end into oblivion and wanting everyo...	jonibaloni	10	943	Jul 28, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	The worst bit? (Preview) It occurs to me the worst bit about what I live through? It isn't the anger, it isn't the resentment, it isn't the blaming, it isn't the shaming nor the self martyrdom. It is the all too brief flashes you get of what they once were. The tantalising glimpses you are shown of what might have been. It...	Mike5056	3	355	Jul 28, 2006 by leo
	Detaching from myself and change (Preview) Change... is that what is really causing me my mental struggle. Is change scaring me? I feel this want to be able to stop the knowledge I have learned. I don't want to hear those healthy new words. These new words have been flooding my head, even when I don't want to hear them. I know it...	sandie123	5	286	Jul 28, 2006 by annmarie988
	are they all this selfish? (Preview) My A husband who has been Gone for 8 months doesn`t understand why I need Money from him to take care of our 4 children!! He say that he has helped pay bills for 17 years and now it`s my turn to pay all the bills!! He complains about how broke he is and I say "well atleast you only have to worry about yourself..I...	allison	5	450	Jul 28, 2006 by Mike5056
	Miracles do happen!! (Preview) I want to thank all of you who prayed for my old horse, Prince Sunday night & the wee hours of Monday morning! A special thanks to Tony & Andilyn who kept me company in my time of need. I will be forever grateful for this room & it's alanon members who show their love & kindness through the m...	horselover58	5	542	Jul 28, 2006 by AndiLynn
	r texas thanks (Preview) Just needed to say a big thanx to you. Ihave just read a site you advised bluejade to read,i have been struggling with the word alcoholic,not really and totally understanding what the hell went on, thanx to you i understand it completely ,i have been reading up as much as possible,but this site to me j...	ollie	3	273	Jul 28, 2006 by bluebjade
	Married to active A long time??? (Preview) Hi everyone: Just wondering if anyone out there has lived with an active A for a long time and is happy? I mean I know you are probably happy with yourself but with the relationship??? I am fairly new, learning to detach and all of the great tools here, but, what if AH never decides to get...	hersh	5	471	Jul 27, 2006 by RichardA
	Newcomer to the forum...old stories (Preview) If you would indulge me I need to tell my story to someone. It is not particularly bad, and is a bed of roses compared with the stories some people post on these forums, but I am miserable a good deal of the time. I am not looking for answers because I know none exist, just the knowledge that someone, somew...	Mike5056	11	581	Jul 27, 2006 by drucilla06
	still no word.. (Preview) hi guys im currently sitting on my bed...its 11:40 at night and i have been crying for the past half hour. still no word from the ex... and im still worried... i cant seem to detach.... i cant seem to lt go and let HP.... what im feeeling is fear... fear for him..wondering where he is and if he's o.k and a...	Rebecca	6	386	Jul 27, 2006 by notsonew1111
	need 20/20 vision (Preview) trying to detach myself from myself for the moment and need a clear view of situation. My A/bf(5 yrs) and teenage son had big fuss. A was getting on to son about not doing his chores and son started mouthing back. Out of anger, A told me to get son out of the house. Son and I left...	sld488	7	625	Jul 27, 2006 by Mike5056
	Counting my Blessings (Preview) My neighbor and best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last December. She is 42 years old and has a 5 year old son. Her prognosis is less than 5 years full of chemo and illness. I just talked to my brother. He got a new job in a new town this past February. He put his house up for sale but it has not...	babysteps	2	270	Jul 27, 2006 by hersh
	Program game face is cold to the A (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I have spent some time reading my old posts. Back 5 months ago when I first came here I was full of emotion (mostly anger and fear). My emotions were bouncing all over the place and I was so happy for that 1 hour a week that I could feel calm. It was during my new found...	rtexas	6	293	Jul 27, 2006 by twinmom2
	SICKSICKSICKSICK (Preview) ok, first off, I know it is my choice to stay....but ......I AM SO SICK OF our money problems being all my fault, being put last all the time, my opinion not mattering, not being listened to, words being twisted around, being threatened with divorce, being alone, being lonely, feeling threat...	doxie	8	703	Jul 27, 2006 by Andrea12
	Anger Again (Preview) All, I am just joining this group but am not new to program. I feel like I am new to the steps because I can't seem to not get angry. I had one success so far of keeping my anger to myself by attending an on-line meeting, reading my literature, writing, and reading the posts.&n...	renah	4	490	Jul 27, 2006 by canadianguy
	Disliking Myself (Preview) Hi, Everyone. I need opinions, or esh, or validation or something, please. I am having serious doubts about my own ability to recover. I'll try to make this brief and coherent. My children are 13 and 11. I feel as if I've been single parenting them all these years because my A hu...	CoffeeBean3	5	570	Jul 27, 2006 by CoffeeBean3
	The Insanity Continues (Preview) Hub and I have gotten along fairly well since the blow up last Mon. night. Then it starts all over last night. Out of the blue. I thought we were getting along pretty good, then he starts in on me because I have too much stuff in the cupboard over the stove. Threatens to throw all...	Becky1	7	606	Jul 27, 2006 by Karilynn
	Geez! Why can't I just shut my big mouth! (Preview) ((((hello friends)))) Don't know if any of you have THIS problem but I have become aware of an annoying ( to my AH) habit I have.I am always telling him what to do! He has told me I am "a bossy female" and I just never saw myself that way.Now it's like my eyes are open and every time I do it,I see it now.I can't...	drucilla06	9	432	Jul 27, 2006 by Karilynn
	my parents are divorcing after almost 30 years (Preview) Hi all, I dont know that I know what to say right now, i guess I was just hoping for someone to share with me how i could apply the program to a situation like this. My parents have managed to stay together for the last 30 years, minus a few months. I just got a call from my mom last night who...	mastiff	9	392	Jul 27, 2006 by Karilynn
	Is there a way??? Is this normal??? (Preview) I see all the good things in the program and feel the helpfullness of the steps. I have come a long way and know I have a LOOOOOONG way to go. In every day situations I am constantly hearing words I have learned to help deal with things better. Don't take me wrong.... they are good words... words that work. T...	sandie123	8	513	Jul 27, 2006 by sandie123
	shameful meltdown (Preview) I have just had the most shameful meltdown you can imagine. I spent the day caring for the one year old grandbaby. I have no time to call my own, so I was tired. When my son came by for his "supervised" visit, he asked me for help with some paperwork and some computer work. That started my downslide. Then the...	omajoy	5	351	Jul 27, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	New to Al-Anon Questions (Preview) Hi everyone! I am trying to read through things posted but I wanted to ask you a few things. My husband of 6 years is an Alcoholic. He has his own business and the drinking started about 1 yr into the business. We had a 1 year old (now 5) at the time and decided I would stay home with him. I also have a 15 yr...	signseeker	6	632	Jul 27, 2006 by Mike5056
	Marriage Counseling (Preview) I talked to my husband last night for the first time in 6 days. We are going to go to marriage counseling on Thursday. We have gone to my pastor once before and things went better for about a week and a half before going back to normal. Plus he likes to have these huge blow ups and then pre...	mysticmidian	4	617	Jul 27, 2006 by Mike5056
	What rights do I have? (Preview) My husband and I are talking about a reconciliation after 5 weeks of being seperated due to a relapse. I have set very clear boundries for myself and have been keeping them with him. These boundries are working very well and I am pleased with myself. My husband has been attending me...	AlaMom	11	613	Jul 26, 2006 by Ria
	Affection shoe on the other foot... (Preview) (((All))) I have read some posts recently about longing for affection from your A. I of course... LOL see it from the other side. My AW says she is starved for attention, affection and romance. Well, in a way I see her point. We have so few days that are civil. I am doing som...	rtexas	5	506	Jul 26, 2006 by Becky1
	Never know what to expect... (Preview) Hi everyone - Thanks so much for all of your wisdom here. I have learned so much. I wish I had a computer at home so I could attend meetings and chat. Just have to sneak a little at work and post sometimes. I just wanted to vent about how this roller coaster continues. You nev...	hersh	2	495	Jul 26, 2006 by hersh
	Meeting a new man/update (Preview) Gads just got a letter from A. I saw him last week end. I did not "get" what he was telling me. Not sure if I updated on this? i was shaking really bad when I went to see him. I hate jail. He says,"you are really shaking!" I said,"that is why I don't do anything wrong! Remember I would not let you...	debilyn	7	545	Jul 26, 2006 by Becky1
	"Getting Them Sober" (Preview) I've just finished reading "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. I know it has been recommended on these postings, and will have been read by many members. I found it very beneficial and thought provoking. It certainly gave me a better understanding of A oand of myself. I am in the early stage of...	annmarie	5	755	Jul 26, 2006 by Becky1
	worried and stressed! (Preview) hi guys my ex boyf.. (the A) was in contact briefly for the past number of weeks... he had got a place to stay, got a new job earning good money and seemed happy-ish... the one thing he kept saying he wanted was ....ME! i told him no... that i cudnt go throu all that shit again..and we were better off rema...	Rebecca	4	567	Jul 26, 2006 by Karilynn
	silly question... (Preview) This may be a silly question on my part, but does anyone have any experience in using EPH200, an herbal version of ephedrine used for weight control? My daughter ordered some off the internet (she's 18), and I'm afraid she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. I've always heard t...	lmt123	7	599	Jul 26, 2006 by Anita
	letting of steam (Preview) Hi everone, Just need to let it all out,this seemed like a good place. Well my a was here on saturday as usual,(comes to see new grandson)and as usual he was asking for another chance and to let him back home,i come first and all that crap. Well on tuesday it was our anniversary,not a thing of him ,no...	ollie	4	465	Jul 26, 2006 by bubbles1990
	Book SEarch (Preview) Are there any good books out there about the alcoholic in recovery . . . how this affects the marital relationship? Also, I'm looking for Blueprints book (4th step guide), but Amazon doesn't have it in stock . .. any suggestions? THanks :)	krise	3	366	Jul 26, 2006 by hersh
	Just Need To Vent (Preview) -- Edited by JulieLynn at 08:13, 2006-07-27	JulieLynn	1	398	Jul 26, 2006 by rtexas
	My HP is giving me so much to laugh at........ (Preview) Lets see Saturday I worked 8pm to 8am. I paid a neighbor to take me and pick me up or so I thought. Sunday morning I waited until 9:30 no ride. I started to walk. I could not call because lightening killed the phone. I walked about 2 miles to a bridge. I surprised myself on how fast I was able to walk. I sa...	hmrnrnmm	2	595	Jul 26, 2006 by jonibaloni
	don't want to go home today (Preview) My Aboyfriend went off drinking and taking drugs for the last five days. He just disappeared. I'm getting better myself now, and don't give my energy away to worrying about him....as best I can. A friend of his told me he's taking drugs (I wouldn't have known this, I was shocked!), and also that he's b...	annmarie	7	741	Jul 26, 2006 by annmarie
	just venting (Preview) A husband has been calling me for the past 3 weeks...saying he goes to AA every day..he`s sober...blah blah blah Well I decide to let him come over and see me and the kids.He has no vehicle because he totaled it 3 weeks ago.I was going to go pick him up when I got out of work last night.he starts calling me aro...	allison	3	515	Jul 26, 2006 by RamzDear
	Question for DOUBLE-WINNERS (Preview) How in the world do you find balance between the 2 programs??? I am taught to really go to bat, as it were, for my fellow alcoholic who is WILLINGLY in recovery... Balancing the responsibility I have as an alcoholic, of carrying the message, along with things like "Letting Go" of a lot of folk...	jonibaloni	4	532	Jul 26, 2006 by jonibaloni
	My boyfriend of 6 years just died, I don't know what to do (Preview) hello, This is my first time posting and anyone that could provide helpful words would be much appreciated. I don't know all the abbreviations and everything yet, so please help me out with those. My boyfriend of 6 years, who I believed to an alcoholic, died last week when he hit his hea...	newyearsgirl	11	779	Jul 25, 2006 by tiredtonite
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.