I wrote more details of my vacation on my post " blessed ye who expects nothing for ye shall never be disappointed"

It did not go as I expected but I had fun anyway. I am letting go of my friend I had know since 1977 & her son & daughter. I will always feel they are a part of my family in my heart but it keeps hurting when I think they should be returning my friendship in kind. A one sided friendship is not a real friendship in my book. They swear they call no one, write no one, or email no one yet they keep in touch. HUH? Whatever! They never return calls, acknowledge they got a package or say thank you when they get a present in the mail.  They are all about money and material stuff now. The mom drives one and a half hours one way to get to work everyday & her hubby/ the stepdad drives 2 hours the other direction to his job everyday. They live in a 4 bdr/3b mobile home they bought when the kids were 11/12. I have never been invited to spend the nite in this new home. Well, I guess if you are not blood related or thru marriage then bye bye. well about time I got the hint. I am a slow learner. 

My cousin, 42 & I got to spend a good bit of time together talking. I know I am only hearing his side. He spent 5 years taking care of both of his elderly parents. All savings & inheritances were spent , the family home had to be sold & they went into a nursing home & hospice. When they were taken from the family home. He was left in the empty home he grew up in.   No one in his family came and gave him a day off or ask how he was doing. He disappeared. Well his aunt my stepmom knew where he was  & called him telling him to come home as there was a family emergency. He called the nursing home & hospice. He did not believe it was a reason to return home. A few days later a friend told him I am sorry to hear your father passed away. My cousin was in shock. He believed someone could have told him his dad had died while on the phone. He knew he was not going to live long anyway. 

He wants to find his birth parents, change his name and have nothing to do with his parents families. He stayed away for about a year,then he came to live with my stepmom , his aunt about a year ago. She is telling him where he can work & what vehicle is not acceptable in her driveway. He is working at movie rental store making under $6.00 an hour. There was hope he would become manager one day now that looks impossible. She drives him to work & picks him up. He will get a ride home & stop at a bar but will be home by 11pm. He said he tried to buy a car while gone & found out he had been declared deceased. He has no money to hire a lawyer to change that. He tried to get a van from a church member. She calls the person & said do not sell it to him. He doesn't tll her when he has a day off as she will plan something and he just wants a day off. No sleeping all day in that house. He walks a mile to the beach and back. 

She is worried about appearances. He does not keep his room & bathroom clean enough. she wants him to cut his hair & take out his diamond earrings.  She doesn't like what he choses to wear. She thinks he drinks too much. He has one DUI , she told me. I do not know when it was.

I love her to death but you can not tell her anything. She is set in her ways. I replaced her shower head to one with 5 settings. She overheard me in the shower talking as I tried out the  showerhead as I tried it out. She actually thought she had a voice activated showerhead. I never told her she did. She assumed.

She puts her hair in rollers every morning. She takes several hours to leave to go to the post office. She puts on CNN on her only tv in the house & is asleep in about 10 minutes. If you change the channel or put on anything with sex, language or violence on it she is offended. It is her house & those are her rules.   

My stepmom was only technically my stepmom about a year living with my father but stayed married five years total when I was around 12. But she is still my stepmom in my heart. She is having bunion surgery on Monday am the 7th. My cousin is taking care of her.  

We did alot of talking. I reminded him she did me the same when I lived with her when I was in my 20's. When my neice was a baby, I lived between my stepmom & my friend.

He is thankful that she allowed him a place to stay. She took on other family members who said not to take him in.  His mom is in a nursing home nearby. He gets a friend to take him to visit without her (aunt ) knowing. He realizes he has choices. He wants to go back to school he has 12 credit hours left. He said she can pick a car & put the title in her name & repo it if he does not pay her back. He can not get a better job without a car to get further into Myrtle Beach. He has a lady friend who wants him to move in with her. but he will have make compromises in order to be taken care of.

He was in better spirits when I left. He said she was being really nice. She bought him a $70 outfit he was looking at at the beach store. They went shopping. Life was good. He said he might even come down here if I check out the living situation in town. I think he would be bored. but I will ...........