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not enough focus on myself.
(Preview)
hi all,
recently i've kinda slipped back in my recovery.
i'm not working the steps and focusing more on other ppl than i am myself, and i feel like i did when i was a child, scared and alone.
all my life i have had addiction in my life, first with my dad and mam, then later with my brothers and then with t...
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trapped one
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6
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486
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Procrastination
(Preview)
I was meeting with my sponsor last night and she and I were talking about procrastination. I have been seperated from my husband for almost a year but we tried working things out several times in that period. The last time that we were together was over 2 months ago and I still have no...
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JulieLynn
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2
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222
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long time--no board
(Preview)
Hi all-
I just looked back in my profile. no posting since April. Doesn't mean things have been right--but different.
I have this part time job that kind of took on a life of its own this summer--good for the $$, questionable for the home situation. H has continued to smoke pot daily and once in a whil...
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gknee
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4
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223
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Boundries
(Preview)
Boundries, this is a tuffy for me. I would give in at the blink of an eye. I didn't realize it until lately. When I give in on my boundries who is the one that it is really hurting?
Is it hurting the person that the boundry was put up for.
Or is it hurting me because that is why the boundry was put up to...
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DoN4me
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5
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842
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Ready or not ....
(Preview)
Hello (((Everyone)))
I heard a message on my phone tonight, from a drinking buddy of my AH's. The line I remember is "you deserve a break from pretending to be the good boyfriend, come out with us ... it's our treat". It hurt.
Been having a hard time handling being here lately. Am I ready to walk away?...
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Jennifer
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5
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607
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meetings for families of drug addicts
(Preview)
What are meetings for families, friends,etc. of drug addicted titled? Is there a difference between those meetings and Al-Anon? What would the difference be since they are both re-lated to the substance addict? Does it matter which you go to? Tx...jaja
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jaja
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5
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4874
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How to trust again???
(Preview)
Went to f2f tonight and a guy asked me how long would it take you to trust your husband again? I thought and at first said it would depend on the situation, if he was a few hours late getting home is one thing, if he doesn't come home all night that's another. But then I said before I can trust that he's doing th...
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carolinagirl
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9
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591
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Feeling pretty good .. !! Todays my BIRTHDAY
(Preview)
Well, today is my birthday and I am feeling pretty good today :) I am 39 and have 2 teenagers am living alone with my A husband living in a camper on the other side of town. He has been gone just over a month and I miss him terribly. He is trying very hard and although he slipped last week all and all has made a h...
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Tammy
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8
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325
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He isn't showing any signs of leaving.
(Preview)
After 6 years of the chaos,I asked my A to get into to rehab or move out...6 days ago. He of couse said rehab wasn't necessary...so he would move out. But nothing is in motion!....But I've flipped before and caved before...so I think he's waiting for me to cave again.
I feel strong and very deter...
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kicky
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3
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235
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Tech Support For Installing Love
(Preview)
Ring ring! Tech support: Hello can I help you? Customer: Well, after much consideration, I have decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process? Tech Support: Yes, ma'am I can help you, are you ready to proceed? Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do fir...
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Phil
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8
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462
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Frustrated MOM
(Preview)
Hello
I am at a lose of how to handle this. My daughter is hyperactive and sometimes comes home wound up. Some of the times it isn't from her getting into the foods shes not suppose to. Well my A drives me crazy with "What's she been into this time?" A lot of the time its just my daughter...
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purplebutterfly
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5
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615
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The pain of change..
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
I was going to post how sad I was tonight, but I decided to read a few posts/responses first. I'm so glad I did , I must have picked two that were meant for me to read because I laughed so hard.
Today is my 14 wedding anniversary. Last night the A and I dis...
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Lunamoth
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4
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281
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Poems I read for Mom's eulogy
(Preview)
I read the following poem for my mom at her funeral:
For her old friends:
    &...
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athena12
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4
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3653
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Let it go! (a little long, but great!)
(Preview)
(((((Hi Alanon Friends!)))) I wanted to share something that a friend sent me when I really needed it. I'm not saying that this is an easy thing to do because I am still "letting go" of a lot of "stuff" myself (we all know that it's an ongoing process.... a slow one at that). I found this to be very ins...
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ET
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7
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370
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Lessons Learned
(Preview)
I’m searching for some ES&H on letting go. I don’t do it very well and have struggled with it for a while. I did finally let someone go that I thought was out of my life for good. It took a long time for me to do this but I finally got to the point that I could say to myself it is finished. I have felt tha...
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shadow1
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3
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356
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CONFUSED.COM
(Preview)
((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))
This has been a difficult week for me. For my emotional wellbeing. I have not been to f2f for last two weeks. This is has become a pattern for me. I jump wholeheartedly into my programme.
Then when I struggle with something, I pull back from it. So...
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ally
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6
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345
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Jerry F
(Preview)
(((((((((Jerry F)))))))),
Just wanted to make sure you and your family are safe in Hawaii. Hope you came through it okay. Let us know. Sending prayers your way.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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Karilynn
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2
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377
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His Fault/My Fault???
(Preview)
Well, as some of you know, I had a major meltdown last week, and punched (many times) my freshly painted kitchen wall. That was on Sat., last week. It left a hole, not real big, but knuckle sized. My walls are painted green, so the white drywall really showed thru. And i...
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Becky1
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7
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405
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My part in things....
(Preview)
((((((Everyone))))))
After giving it some thought about my part in the things going on in my life (thank you Christy ) I've come to a few conclusions... the biggest one is the day of my last post I was finding it very easy to blame my A. I spoke the truth, I am in many ways the way I am because...
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Lunamoth
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4
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358
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Compromising with the A
(Preview)
(((Hello Group)))
I have learned that just because an A gets sober doesn't mean that everything is magically changed. My A still struggles with old behavior patterns. He's stubborn and strong willed. He gets into these power struggles with me or with other people over issues...
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twinmom2
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2
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334
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Recovery High Horse
(Preview)
Someone posted last week about A's and druggies getting on a moral high horse or thinking they know better what to do in all situations etc. I just wanted to revisit that. My A last weekend took the kids to the beach (first time he's been alone with them anywhere ever that I can remember) and...
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carolinagirl
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3
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387
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Still In Love With the X?
(Preview)
After looking at my previous post, I thought maybe I should bring this topic up. It's not something I discuss in my normal circle at all. In part because it just doesn't come up, but also because I don't want to be chided for not being able to let go.
I have been divorced longer than I was married... for...
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barisax
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9
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539
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lyrics on letting go
(Preview)
this song really touches me with my current situation. its called let him fly by jessica simpson.
Ain't no talkin to this man Ain't no pretty other side Ain't no way to understand the stupid words of pride It would take an acrobat, and I already tried all that so I'm gonna let him fly Things can...
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notsonew1111
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1
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254
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Coping With Triggers
(Preview)
Dear Roomies,
For as long as I can remember, I have been very afraid of things that I can't control (lightening storms, illness, and war).
I worried about storms, illness, and war ALOT as a kid. I can see now that I may have been doing this as a way of expressing how worried I was about how out of control...
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BlueCloud
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2
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450
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In Limbo....
(Preview)
(((Hi everyone)))
Well I did get away for Friday and Saturday night. I almost changed my mind at the last minute, got really sad Friday at work and canceled the reservations where I was going to go. I just wanted to be home, whether AH was drunk or not, there or not, just wanted to pine away...
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hersh
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3
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301
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Feelings And Surrender
(Preview)
The Language of Letting Go.
Feelings and Surrender
Surrendering is a highly personal and spiritual experience.
Surrender is not something we can do in our heads. It is not something we can force or control by willpower. It is something we experience.
Acceptance, or surrender, is not a ti...
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Phil
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7
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582
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Comfort and Chaos
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
Today I find myself thinking about how far out of my comfort zone I am in putting a big boundry in place.
Has it really been that long ago that I stuck to what was right, just because it was the right thing to do?
The answer of course is yes, it's been a long time. I have s...
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rtexas
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4
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303
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Old habits hard to break
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
For those wondering if the A and I went on our date... yes we did. It is an unusual place. Our city is a little bit of everything.
To the east and south is flat farmland, and to the west is hills. In the middle of those hills is a beautiful lake. For those of y...
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rtexas
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8
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302
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long vent
(Preview)
I'm letting it all out tonight, hope you all don't mind. My mother is dieing. She is all but gone now. My father who recently had a heart attack and open heart surgery is determined to keep her home. I look at her and my heart is just is so full of sadness. Last night...
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Lunamoth
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6
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290
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For Those That Are Having A rough Time...And Are Struggling..
(Preview)
Don't Quit
Author Unknown
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road your trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but...
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Phil
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4
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379
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he stayed away
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I just need to vent today, I suppose. I know there's nothing I can do, but I still worry.
He left the house yesterday morning when I was out. I called him when I got back. He said he'd be back in a couple of hours. (I knew he was dying to drink and I don't allow drink in my house.)
Anyway,...
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annmarie
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2
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218
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It hurts
(Preview)
Strange to sit here and not know what to say. It's that way becuz it is all feelings.
Have expresssed how much harder it is this time, to find my foundation again. It was so easy for the disease to play me. Let's let him out of the cocoon for awhile, let her have a taste of her soul mate, her lover. Then whe...
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debilyn
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13
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1192
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my update and letting go
(Preview)
i was in the chatroom yesterday and wanted to update those i spoke with and the rest of you. if you dont know my a and i split a little over three months ago. and i've been doing pretty good. he has not. he is very mentally unstable and went completly to cocaine. that is his choice. but the past month or so he ha...
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notsonew1111
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4
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374
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Update on My Hand Pain
(Preview)
Thanks to all of you for all your good thoughts, prayers. I went to Doc today, finally got in after about 2 months of severe pain. Turns out I was right (I shoulda been a Doctor). I have Trigger Thumb. Funny name for a very painful disorder.
Do you KNOW how often and much you us...
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Becky1
|
4
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369
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It's a girl!!!
(Preview)
I wanted to check in and let everyone know that things are going well. I am still working my program in my f2f meetings. I have an A average in all of my classes in college and I had an ultrasound on Friday. The baby is a girl. I was hoping for a boy, but His Will not mine. Now I...
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Powerless
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9
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301
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The Enemy Within
(Preview)
Fears are the greatest enemy of our individual potential. They keep us in place in our lives and stop us from being everything we could be. Everyone knows how it feels to be afraid. To be afraid is a normal, human characteristic. In fact, the more you develop your intelligence, the more things you have t...
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Phil
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5
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428
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Trying to Maintain
(Preview)
Hello Friends,
Yesterday was our school's home coming dance....my daughter went and she looked lovely....she had no father there to tell her how beautiful she was...she did however have a mom..me...she cried a little she wanted her dad....my heart broke.....my son did not go..he just doesn'...
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Andrea12
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6
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341
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A Test
(Preview)
I always knew this day would come...After 5 glorious weeks of responsible drinking by my AH he disappeared for 6 hours last night....not so bad compared to others but heartbreaking for me...I so enjoyed the last few weeks..it was so relaxing to have him home on time ..like a huge weight had been...
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Elizabeth M
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1
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239
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More lyrics...
(Preview)
"Unwritten"
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
...
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carolinagirl
|
0
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152
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Slippin
(Preview)
My ex has been here all weekend (my choice) and tonight I told him he had to go home. I know a lot of this is a control issue and I'm worried that the path I am going down is going to lead me to get sucked back in. Is it possible to keep the good (him helping out with the kids and around my house and the physical stuf...
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carolinagirl
|
5
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238
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Third Date?
(Preview)
Well, I am pretty sure there will be one... both of us pretty busy with stuff so it may be 2-3 weeks.
It was a good time, I met some of her friends which I think all of us acknowledged without saying so, was her way of getting a "second opinion" of me.. LOL.
It IS unfamiliar territory to have someone o...
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barisax
|
1
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203
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Letter from A
(Preview)
It has been a few peaceful weeks with no chaos in my life. I have to admit it has been a wonderful break. The last few days for whatever reason I haven't been able to get my A off my mind. I kept feeling like I should call down there, but didn't. When I hear a knock at my door and the neighbo...
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DoN4me
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1
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288
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Worried about disapointing
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
Let me start out by saying to all those who have followed my saga and kept us in their prayers. Although my AW is still pissed to no end at me, we (thank HP) didn't have any chaos last night.
She said she went to the rehab clinic yesterday to talk with thier councelors. T...
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rtexas
|
12
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356
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Second Date
(Preview)
This weekend I am going to go on a second date with a very nice lady. I haven't yet decided if this is a big deal or not... for most people I guess it wouldn't be. I wear my disgust for the human "mating ritual" on my sleeve. I always hold out for someone I can just "be real" with, and as you might expect, that mak...
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barisax
|
7
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249
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Had the UltraSound
(Preview)
Hi all,
I had the ultrasound on Friday and then they gave me a mamogram after all. They are pretty sure that it is benign, but still not sure, so I am having a biopsy on Friday.
So that is the update on my lump. And might I add that we should do self checks to help find lumps early!
Yours in recover...
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Dolphin123
|
12
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347
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my Mom
(Preview)
My mom passed away on Tuesday. I was glad I got to say good bye and tell her I love her 10 minutes before it happened. She went into the hospital a month ago. She had 3 years after my alcoholic father died, but our family is pretty wounded, so I can't say she really had us to comfort her.&n...
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athena12
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7
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330
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the family stuff
(Preview)
I am normally Ms Super dooper people pleaser martyr at work and in most social situations. This issue with the A's mother has been difficult. I have to say this normally I would be in there, hypereactive, fixing, trying to fix, taking care of everyone but me.
This time I have stayed out of it so m...
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maresie2
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2
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212
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trying to understand the madness
(Preview)
I wondered why is my Abf suddenly more nasty than usual. It just seems to get worse everyday lately. I think he has an idea I'm thinking about leaving him.
Is this fear really, showing itself as anger? Or does he really find me to be as awful as he says. I can't understand, because he seems to change so m...
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annmarie
|
4
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276
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disney anyone?
(Preview)
i am going to disney on the 21st of october (florida) and staying for a week. does anyone know of any meetings in the area? or where i could get a schedual or where i would be getting a schedual for? like would it be orlando, or called something else? any info greatly apperciated....i'm going with my mom.....
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serendipity
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5
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2939
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Inlaw worries
(Preview)
I dont know where to start with this, someone I know will
ask me for sure if I would like some cheese with my whine.
My husband who took a short job in southern Michigan for
3 to 6 mos which landed him about 1 1/2 hrs from his
A family went to see them yesterday. I was hoping he
wouldnt open that keg of...
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Busbe
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3
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220
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A started the bargaining
(Preview)
It's finally hit my A that I'm serious about him choosing rehab or moving out and I haven't shown signs of waivering. He wanted to "talk" last night, but I told him I prefer to talk about things when he was sober. (Cause of course he had been at the bar, after work, for 3 hours)
So, thi...
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kicky
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6
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309
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new here
(Preview)
Hi
after spending the last few hours reading all the other posts i realised i was in the right place. I had tears in my eyes through most of it as i saw similarities in my life in so many of them...
I am engaged and supposed to get married next year. before my A proposed to me hes was sober for just under a mo...
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arty
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6
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268
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Have you ever??
(Preview)
As I just read Rtexas' last post - it made my decision final that I needed to post this. So, first - Thanks Rtexas for your bravery and your post. Ok - here goes.
Have you ever wondered about that point at which the obsession takes over and a "normal" person becomes an addict?
It ha...
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Rita G
|
11
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411
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thanks everyone
(Preview)
I just wanted to thank everyone who was in the chat room last night and listened to me. You guys really helped me get through a rough night.
i also wanted to let you all know what happened after he came home. . .
i'm pretty sure he didn't go to the bar, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer so maybe he...
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be4yourii
|
1
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209
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Send a little comfort our way, please
(Preview)
Life has been dealing my husband some real blows in the last little while.
His mother died in early August. Since the death he has been finding out some very disturbing things about his sister, who had been living with her and looking after her. There is a lot of money missing, for instance ten thous...
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lin0606
|
9
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412
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Daily Motivation
(Preview)
I think whoever wrote this must have been in Alanon*********************************************************************
|
Christy
|
4
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537
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A Piper, Pumpkin and Puppy Day!
(Preview)
(((((((((Good morning family))))))))),
It's a glorious day today! The is coming up, the leaves are turning their brilliant colors and it's chilly! A perfect fall today. I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday.
Today is a Piper, Pumpkin and Puppy Day! Hubb...
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Karilynn
|
10
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254
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A message from Angel123
(Preview)
HI everyone,
Sharon, (Angel123) asked me to post that her computer is down. It totally fried. So she won't be available for a while. She will try and get to her son's computer to read her email but that is the best she can do for now. I am praying that HP will provide for her and she will be able...
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shadow1
|
1
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514
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signs of recovery at last
(Preview)
Through this long saga of the A's mother moving I have been praying to see the moments of recovery.
I see them. Apparently the new husband asked the A to move to wherever they live. He is considering it. Before I have to say this I would be mortified he did not consid...
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maresie2
|
1
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354
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getting it out
(Preview)
Things have been kind of topsy turvey the last couple of days. My brother has lung cancer, and for the last 6-8 weeks has gone thru testing. The results have been that it was contained to the left lung and that they would remove the lung. Now out of the blue we have found out that the tes...
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greta
|
4
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311
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