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As I just read Rtexas' last post - it made my decision final that I needed to post this. So, first - Thanks Rtexas for your bravery and your post. Ok - here goes.
Have you ever wondered about that point at which the obsession takes over and a "normal" person becomes an addict?
It has been over a year that I have been dealing with an injury from our clean up during Hurricane Rita. I was doing better for a while (Mar-July) after epidural steriod injections, but have taken a turn for the worse since August. Test and Dr appts and on to the Neurologist on Monday. But in the mean time, I have had to take medication. Some of it being pain meds.
Normally, I'm one of those that can take 2 tylenol and take a 2 hr nap. But this is a nerve pain and so I am taking RX for pain. I don't like having that in my house. (My AH has problems with alcohol and RX) But I do also have to take care of me. So the meds are locked in my car or my safe so that is not an issue.
But lately the fear is there about when does a normal person become an addict? I know my AH didn't wake up one day & say this is what I want to be. I am filled with fear about this. Everytime I swallow one of those pills, I say a prayer "Please God don't let me become addict to this stuff. Our family has enough addicts, please don't let me cross over that line"
Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I the only one? Am I going crazy from this stress? Other stuff going on - trying so very hard to get into our new home, still living in a very badly damage home - like most around here struggling with contractors to get site ready for new house. Anyway, back to the medication thing - I would love to not take anything, but I am in a little to much pain and discomfort to be able not to do that right now, but I am hoping the Dr's appt on Monday may shed light on something we can do to help this situation.
So this is where I am, trying not to live in fear, not to give it the power over my life again, I'm willing to be willing to Let Go & Let God - just looking for some E,S, & H . . .
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
I think the meds are beginning to mess with your head. In a big way. The guidelines that organizations like Hazelden, AA, heck the American Medical Assn. set out is that, whenever someone set out to medicate themselves they are medicating emotions. In other words, whenever someone feels a need to anesthetize themselves from their world, they are already crossing lines--they are anesthetizing reality, they are anesthetizing problems, they are anesthetizing the truth. And as time goes on, they find themselves medicating for simply being--as one person put it, "The fact that the grass was green was excuse enough."
If you are running yourself into circles about the "Addict" question, call your doctor. Make an appointment. Talk to someone professional about seeing if there's a way of managing the pain without narcotics. Addicts find ways to enable themselves because they can't find people to enable them; they find scapegoats because they're afraid of responsibility. Honey, call your doctor. Tell them that you're losing your mind because of the pain and the meds.
So glad you posted a question like this. It has been something that comes to mind for me on and off. A'ism runs on my mom and somewhere on my father's side as well. I have done my share of drinking and drugging mostly in high school and college. That fear of crossing the line and becoming addicted has been with me for a while, living with active A'ism and now coming into Alanon I can see just how easy it could be to allow myself to over indulge and call it coping with stress. I can see your fear in becoming used to taking pain medication because after all you are treating the pain. I don't know the answer in avoiding addiction. I agree my A didn't just wake up one day and become addicted to Alcohol, it was a slow gradual progression over a long period of use. He said from the very first drink he took he liked it. He liked how it made him feel. when he was high he enjoyed that numb feeling. So, he kept doing it until one day he found himself getting into trouble and doing it everyday. I know in some cases there are pain medication programs that doctors can place people on. Giving them an alotted dose for a couple weeks then having a visit to assess how you feel. Maybe that could be something to discuss with your doctor just as a protection and buffer to help you deal with the pain but also keep you in check with how much is being taken and dispensed.
Lean on HP to be your guide, thank you for the courage to post that difficult question.
Hugs,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I guess I stirred up something, I hope you get some good replies to it so you can calm your fears.
IMHO, many things can be addicting. Pain medications are definitely on the list. Your body will become addicted to pain meds if needed over a period of time. But if you work honestly with a pain managment tech, there is every likelyhood that you will not become psycologically addicted and begin abusing your meds.
I really think knowledge is power in this case. You doctor is aware these are addictive. If you voice your concearns to him I am sure he can help you out with a plan of some sort.
You have been so sweet, I hope you can find some comfort and good suggestions from the rest of the family here.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I used to take my son's meds and mine and hide them. I was worried my A would find them and take them and my pain pills if I had too many I would flush any over 5 pills because I only use them occasionally. I have been perscribed a few pain medications for health reasons and I worry about becoming addicted to them. I only take them when I can't get any kind of relief with tylenol or ibubrofen and need to sleep.
((((((((((((((Rita)))))))))))))))) Thanks for your share
Good news is....being an addict isn't such a bad thing. Only you can determine if you have a problem, you know this. Is it normal for other people to lock up their meds from themselves?
Maybe you would like to check out NA or AA meetings. You can certianly attend both. It will be up to you to decide which one you are a member to. You next right step is to hit the meeting, any of them. Others may have some different ideas.
I have nerve pain - and have tried several things to help relieve the nerve pain...
I've tried narcotic pain killers, and I have tried Neurontin and Lyrica. Neurontin and Lyrica are not narcotic. They are designed to help relieve nerve pain.
I asked my doctor about my becoming addicted to the pain meds. She said she would know if I had crossed that line and wouldn't prescribe the pain meds any longer. She said that if I was taking more the of pain meds than prescribed, then she would worry.
When I had an injury (my 200 lb son was horsing around with me and he snapped my neck :sad:), I had to take pain medication as the pain was excruciating. But eventually as I healed, I no longer needed the meds.
Then I am a chronic migraine sufferer and I take medicine when I have a migraine. Does that make me an addict? No, I don't believe so. I take them as prescribed (yet I know some doctors are quacks and just keep prescribing) and I only take them "when I am in pain". I can only share my ES&H but I feel that if I use them to mask my feelings or to take me away from "life" then I have a problem. If not, then I feel I don't.
There's also self-tests online for consideration for those who feel they "might" be.
yours in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
An interesting question. My recovering AH (alcohol only) has finally agreed to take Vicadin for the pain in his legs. He hates taking medication but has realized he has to for certain conditions. He always says he's do glad that he never got addicted to pills.
I think that because you are so aware of what is going on and what is possible that I wouldn't be worried about you becoming addicted. If you are, chart how often you take your medication. Write down the date and the time and the quantity.
I remember I was having a particularly bad day years ago, and I would have loved to have had a glass of wine. But I didn't. Because I didn't want to get use to the idea of numbing my feelings. My parents weren't alcoholics, but I have aunts and uncles who are. I just didn't want to become like them. It's the same reason I rarely but over the counter sleep aides unless I can find them in a sample size. Too easy to reach for the next time.
Love and blessings to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks so much for the love & support. I appreciate the comments, suggestions, some I am already doing such as talking to my Dr (he also is aware of our family history), meds are always taken as prescribed and most of the time at night when I get home so I don't have to drive, etc.
Noni - had some very bad side effects to Lyrica - very very bad!!!! So no longer taking that - just trying to manage without hardly anything.
Ziggy- "Being an addict isn't such a bad thing" Can't say that I can agree with you on that. Being on the outside and watching my Husband and step-daughter struggle for 10-15 years, the things they have lost because of the addiction, the pain they have caused others and themselves, and especially the pain my grandchildren suffer because of their Mom's struggles - From my point of view "Being an addict SUCKS".
I spent some time in prayer & meditation on this issue last night, just really couldn't get it off my mind. Really grateful this morning to have more of a peace about the situation.
Fear is not always a bad thing - maybe it is a good thing for me - to keep me on my toes, to make sure I don't fall into the trap of well it hurts a little so I'll just take something - I have to be in a miserable amount of pain before I'll take any meds that are prescribed and I'm very careful to be home, not driving, etc. So I'll be grateful that I'm aware of the dangers and have a wonderful Dr that knows my AH & supports his recovery; My Dr would be the first to tell me if he thought I was beginning to have a problem. Our Dr/patient relationship is that open. He helped me before, during and after my AH entered rehab. I'm going to be ok - I have a wonderful HP,a good Dr, a good Al-Anon home group and my MIP family.
Thanks again for letting me voice my fears - I feel like I will be able to go to the Neurologist on Monday with a peacefulness and an openness to his opinion. That is always a good thing.
Hoping that your weekend is blessed in a very special way & I also hope that we all remember to do something special for ourselves,
Love & Hugs,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
This is and awlays will be a controversial issue in AA and alanon.Some are so fnatical that people think that taking meds for a psychiatric condition is relapsing which is sad. I saw in AA once, a man who was schizophrenic and on meds,people told him he was relapsing by taking his meds,so he stopped.No one saw him for 2 months and then he reappeared.Everyone asked him where he had been.He said he had been wandering the streeets and didn't know where he had been most of the time until he some how got into the hospital and got back on his meds.It was really sad. With that being said....
I too suffer from along time back injury and have been through epidurals,tigger point injections.I suffer everyday.I have the right to not be in agony to where all I can do is lay in bed all day and cry.The reason I take the medicine is to make the physical pain go away so I can carry on normal daily activities.An addict drinks and drugs to run away from thier problems and mask their emotional pain. When you don't need the medicine anymore your doctor will slowly taper you off and it's done. So, I guess the question you have to ask yourself as you take your meds is: Am I taking this does because I'm upset,angry,stressed? I am I taking this dose because it hurts really bad? Hopefully the answer is the first question. I hope this post helps you decide ((((Rita))))
Can't say that I can agree with you on that. Being on the outside and watching my Husband and step-daughter struggle for 10-15 years, the things they have lost because of the addiction, the pain they have caused others and themselves, and especially the pain my grandchildren suffer because of their Mom's struggles - From my point of view "Being an addict SUCKS".