The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I’m searching for some ES&H on letting go. I don’t do it very well and have struggled with it for a while. I did finally let someone go that I thought was out of my life for good. It took a long time for me to do this but I finally got to the point that I could say to myself it is finished. I have felt that it was for a while now and each day was getting easier and easier. Then I received an email from this person. Oh boy did it ever stir up the emotions again. I know nothing will ever become of this and I do know that I will get over it but it sure catches a person off guard when you think your doing so well.
As I sit here and reflect on what that relationship was and how it developed, I realized that it was happening again with a different person. It is so sad when this awful disease pushes you away from the people that you once loved and sends us looking to replace that void. This is a huge reality check for me and I’m sure it was HP telling me to get a grip on things and him trying to show me the way.
On the upside, in the email my friend said that because of me he now has a belief in HP that was not there before. I was so unhappy before meeting him I was self-destructive, meaning I didn’t care about myself much. I stuffed my emotions with food. I gained a lot of weight. While the relationship grew, I decided to loose some weight ( I thought) for him not for me. Well when the relationship ended my weight, loss didn’t. I am now down 47 lbs and still going and I have him to thank. He also encouraged me to get more involved with Alanon and to do the service work that I am doing now.
I know that he reads these posts, he told me in his email so I just wanted to say thank you for your timely email and for getting me started on my journey to a new thinner happier life.
Sounds like you both blessed each other in ways that was needed. I believe there are people in our lives that are only meant to bring about a change or bring something to light for us and then their purpose is fulfilled. I've loved and lost many friends and I have something to glean from each relationship. Some of them I miss terribly and other's I can see letting them go was the best thing that could happen. Letting go of someone you love deeply does not come easy. Dreams die hard. For whatever the reason of the relationship ending it sounds like you had some more work to do and this person may have been the catalyst to starting the process. What I've learned is that its not up to me. I can let go or hang on but HP's will overrides my will.
Living Life One Day At A Time,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Some of the stuff I learned about letting go...Just relax your grip...don't abandon, stand in your own light or in HP's light...Relationships never end and they do change...If you love something...let it go. If it never comes back; it wasn't meant to be. If it comes back...love it forever. (that one is cool huh?)...Sometimes holding on holds me down and maybe the other way around.
Just a little bit of old ESH. Just remembered another...You just might be letting go of what is stopping you from seeing the real you.
they say people come into our lives for a reason. when my a and i split i too met someone that made me feel alive again. someone that made me feel so wonderful. it was exactly what i needed. it didnt work out for us but i learned so much more about myself again. and what type of men i'm looking for, i found some passions and goals to work towards. but you know what i heard. its not that we are finding happiness because of this other person its that they allow us to let our own feelings and happiness within ourselves out. we have all of these attributes all along they've just been locked away for awhile. :) pray to hp to show you how to let go. hp will decide when this person stays in your life and when they go and where any of it will go. follow your heart and take it odaat. best wishes (((k)))
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
