Well, today is my birthday and I am feeling pretty good today :) I am 39 and have 2 teenagers am living alone with my A husband living in a camper on the other side of town. He has been gone just over a month and I miss him terribly. He is trying very hard and although he slipped last week all and all has made a huge turnaround. Tonight he came over and cooked dinner :) We talked on the porch then watched TV with his arm around me.. It all came flooding back why I love this man so much !! After 20 years he still makes my heart flutter and I almost forget the pain this disease has caused me and my children. Then at 8:30 he leaves and returns to the camper. He still doesnt know if he will get fired from his job and wont until after his November 2nd court date but he is really doing his best.
As for me, wellllllll.... I am really trying to become my own person !! To really figure out who I am and see that I can live without him .. I have lots of sad days where I miss him a lot but I do have good times too. This space has been good for both of us.. He needs it to fight this addiction on HIS own without my help and I need it to allow him to do it without controlling his recovery. I realized thru this that I dont like this because I cant control how he handles this a shortcoming I MUST CORRECT !!

Thanks for allowing me to update everyone !! Just for today I am OKAY !!

Tammy