Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> not enough focus on myself.
Post Info TOPIC: not enough focus on myself.
trapped one


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 2
Date:
not enough focus on myself.
Permalink  

hi all,


recently i've kinda slipped back in my recovery.


i'm not working the steps and focusing more on other ppl than i am myself, and i feel like i did when i was a child, scared and alone.


all my life i have had addiction in my life, first with my dad and mam, then later with my brothers and then with the guy i married.


i stupidly thought that because my hubby was sober a long time that, that was an end to all the madness of addiction.


but hes not going to meetings and i think he may be taking dalmane that wasnt perscribed to him.


at the moment i feel like theres an eruption about to go off inside my stomach...part of me wants to walk away, and the other part is scared.


i wish i could just get back o where i was looking after myself again.


anyway, better go, hes just walked in, so thanks for listening


 



__________________
Karilynn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3656
Date:
Permalink  

((((((((((Trapped One))))))),


Welcome to the MIP family!  Here you will find great experience, strength, hope, wisdom and a bit of humor (good for the ).


The beauty of recovery, is that when we slip we can stand back up again, and take the hand of our Alanon family to help us up.  It's teamwork that keeps us going. Try and find some f2f meetings in your area or join us here.  It's great.


While my hubby doesn't have long term sobriety yet (5 months and that's great) I find I cling to my program more. I too was feeling like you the other week, more so at work. I didn't like the way I was reacting to people.  I felt out of whack.  I realized that it had been a while since I'd been to a meeting. Time to get back to it.  So glad I did.


Remember: your recovery has to be about you, regardless if A chooses recovery or not.  It is about you and for you.  It's about taking back your life.


Love and blessings to you.


Live strong,


Karilynn & Pipers Kitty (the cat)



__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
purplebutterfly


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 34
Date:
Permalink  

I too was a child in an alcholic home.


I married and divorced an alcholic thouough ok now I am fine


Well I end up with a dry alcholic and thought because the person wasnt using that everything would be fine. Boy was I wrong.


Now I'm dealing with a dry drunk I think this is a lot harder then dealing with an active A.


I dont know how much longer I will be able to deal with this nor do I know what the HP wants.  Im hoping the HP will show me guidence that I can see clearly. I dont trust my judgement right now nor am I sure totally when the HP is speaking to me or my own subconcious wanting things my way. ( if that makes sense)


I wish I knew things before that I know now. I had never heard of a dry drunk....



__________________
twinmom2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 853
Date:
Permalink  

(((trapped one)))


Welcome to MIP.  I can relate that it can be very difficult to get back on the recovery wagon after slipping for a while.  Its great that you recognize you are slipping.  As you know if your A is using again there is nothing you can do to stop that, but you can take care of you and give yourself what you need.  Maybe a face to face meeting would help.  Do you have a sponser?  I know in the past for me, when I've slipped and felt that overwhelming anxiety and being emotionally drained because I went back to rescuing and caretaking, shaking up my routine and getting out there to a meeting, or taking some time away for me helps.  Then I usually end up saying, wow look how easy it was for me to take a step for me and how great I feel.  I have realized that in the times I seem to struggle the most is when I learn the most as well.  Hang in there and maybe give yourself some undevoted time today, sounds like you deserve it.  Keep posting here, it will help to get out your feelings, and there are great people here that can be a good support for you when you feel there is no one.


Living Life One Day At A Time,


Twinmom~



__________________
"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
drucilla06


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 395
Date:
Permalink  

Welcome (((trapped)))


First of all, you are not trapped.There is always a way.You know what to do, get back to working Alanon.It can save your life.Find your HP and get close to him,work the steps.


My AH got sober 16 years ago.Since then we have been separated and now are separating again.My life turned upside when he got sober.I think I felt more in control when he drank.I wish I had stayed with Alanon when I first started going 16 years ago,but I did not.Like so many people I felt if he's not drinking I don't need it.


I grew up with an alcoholic father and my sisters and brothers all all A's so I was affected early in my life.Then I married an A when I was 17.I will need alanon the rest of my life.I am so grateful for it.Without it I am a basket case,a stressed out,raging codependent,afraid of life and people.


Keep coming,sharing,and reading the posts.You will find answers and help.We also have online meetings.


You're not alone and you are worth it.  love and welcome...drucilla



__________________
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Permalink  

Aloha Trapped!!


Yes we get to relapse in Al-Anon also.  And we also get to keep coming back so put your brain away except to use it to find your recovering family and come join us.   Relapse stinks but its not permanent unless you like it better than peace of mind and serenity.  I have had my share of them so I know it stinks and feels yuuuky and terrible.  I also know that it is my choice where I decide to be and how I decide to feel and act and it would be insanity again if I chose to stay in the disease.  I hated the scared and alone part.  (my nickname in the family was "The Lone Ranger" so they knew also.)  You don't have to choose that stuff and you don't have to let the depression keep you away from meetings and recovering family.  Come Home!!


((((((Hugs))))))



__________________
trapped one


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 2
Date:
Permalink  

hi all,


i just wanted to say thank you for the replies.


i got so much out of them, but the one thing that stuck out the most is the support!


and that is something i have sorely missed.


someone who i can talk to who will try to understand where i am coming from.


thanks again.


ur all in my prayers.



__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> not enough focus on myself.