It has been a few peaceful weeks with no chaos in my life. I have to admit it has been a wonderful break. The last few days for whatever reason I haven't been able to get my A off my mind. I kept feeling like I should call down there, but didn't. When I hear a knock at my door and the neighbors bring me a letter they received in there box by mistake.

It was from the city jail. Apparently he got arrested for violating his probation. He had been in there for weeks. So I called his family and talked to them and asked them how they were holding up because he has a small child and if I could do anything to help them. Not for my A but for his family. I then explained to them why I hadn't been to visit or call for awhile and this is where I know my HP has a hand in things.

They told me anytime I want to come down him there or not to just come on down and see them. I told them that sounded great to me. I then asked his son if I can call more he has the sweetest giggle and told me yes. So we talked for a bit cause he has a birthday coming. I had to make arrangements with his family to get his gifts there. He is so cute he kept asking me to come over. I kept trying to explain to a 4 year old it is a bit of a drive would take me all day. In his wonderful little mind I live just around the corner not over 600 miles away. It hurts alot to have to keep telling him I can't come right now. But I will get there as soon as I can and made sure he knew I loved him. The hardest part for me is that I can't be with or see his son who is an innocent bystander in all of this.

After I knew he was in jail all of the sudden a peace and calm came over me. I guess a part of me was thankful because I know he was finally somewhere safe. I also knew that not matter what I was going to be ok with or with out him. I was strong enough to make it either way. But most of all I have gotten a taste of serenity and I really enjoyed it.

DO