The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I find myself thinking about how far out of my comfort zone I am in putting a big boundry in place.
Has it really been that long ago that I stuck to what was right, just because it was the right thing to do?
The answer of course is yes, it's been a long time. I have sat back and made excusses for myself to allow "others" to make a mess out of my life. I have tried to trick and contort people into doing what was right for me instead of taking a stand and doing it for myself.
When did I start doing that? I guess I am feeling a little philosophical today because I have been in the program for 7 months now, and have posted over 500 times on this board trying to sort out my life.
Just for today, I am going to avoid the train wreck in my own head that makes me second guess what is right. I am not anyone's HP, and it is not right for me to make their decissions for them. (Even if they expect me to or ask me to.)
Just for today, I am going to try to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I wish you all the best day you can possibly have today.
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
It is difficult after giving our power over to another to take back that power over our own lives and emotions. I think you are right it even harder to feel confident about taking that stand and asking ourselves am I doing the right thing? I have often played the "what if" game in my head and now I can see how crazy that made me feel. Instead of relying on myself and validating my feelings and needs and then doing something about it, I have chosen to react and respond to other people's actions, thoughts, and reactions. I have noticed in the last few months how much I look to my family for their opinion and their thoughts about my life. Its when i finally got quite and asked myself what I want and then took a step did it really mean anything to me. I find now that I have to justify my actions to people partly because I don't decide for me what's best. I've allowed others to help me make up my mind. This has kept me in the victim mentality for so long. My life is my own, my thoughts, actions, and feelings. No one can live our lives for us, or help us decide what's best except for us. Great job on deciding and then doing what's best for you. You deserve it.
Living Life One Day At A Time,
Twinmom
__________________
"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I don't think you make anyones decisions for them, not at all. I do think you give sound advice and it is up to the individual whether they chose to take it or not.
I value your opinions and you have certainly helped me to see more clearly. You probably didn't even realise that!
I think you are a kind considerate person, and you are valued. I'm sure I am not the only one of this opinion.
Sometimes I have days when I don't want to be around anyone. I just want my own company. Time to consider. I think I grow during these times.
You never cease to amaze me. It is so true, I still don't know how to set boundaries, at work, at home, etc. I don't think they ever existed in my world! LOL
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you thank you so much for your insight. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin, and to know that you are a child of God, you are okay today!!!
Too many times we don't laugh enough and enjoy this day, this moment. It could all be gone tomorrow. In the middle of our chaos we live, we can go to f2f meetings, come here, and just say, I am OKAY for today!!!
