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An Oletimer Is the Birthday Girl
(Preview)
Today is Alamom's Birthday . She still posts and visits the room here and there so wish her a Happy Birthday if you see here. Happy, happy birthday Karen. Eat a lot of Love ya Girl, You aren't getting older (denial ); you are definitely getting better. Maria
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Maria123
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16
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540
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comning up with another plan b
(Preview)
another member here has very compasssionately challenged me to come up with another plan b. My story is that in March this year I broke off with the A and I separated after a relationship of 7 years. I was incredibly miserable because (a) I feared for him and (b) he had our pets dogs. I did not move to a good s...
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maresie2
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10
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572
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thankyou al-anon..
(Preview)
When i first learnt to drive , i was terrified , nervous , and after my first lesson i vowed never to sit in the drivers seat again ... i cried my eyes out cause i was useless , and it took a while for it to click .. and when it did , i was fine .. passed my test first time ... and that's how i felt when i found this site...
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cytagirl
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3
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265
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So hard headed.....
(Preview)
I am, I really am. It's funny, I was sharing with my daugter today how her father once was telling a friend of his what kind of car I needed, and that I didn't need a stick/straight drive ...so what did I do? I went out and bought a car I couldn't even drive - a stick. God knows I'm hard headed. That was ma...
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Lunamoth
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5
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542
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Detachment
(Preview)
Well I had a good lesson in detachment this week. To recap as you all know I have had a really tumultous relationship with one of my housemates. When I moved in she was very nice to me but at the same time pretty push. She lives with her son who had a terrible accident years ago. He had a major brain injury and i...
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maresie2
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4
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403
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Angst
(Preview)
Sometimes I feel bad for posting my "woes" because I am very fortunate to not be living with an active alcoholic ~ having said that ~ here is my woe for the moment. I went to my GRE class where they zipped through geometry equations and the like. UGH ~ I nearly got whiplash for as fast as they went...
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Positivelydee
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1
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349
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Letting Go
(Preview)
Since just completing my fear inventory - I wanted to share with the group some of my 'ah-has' - My entire life is motivated by fear. Mostly it is fear of rejection - or more precisely abandonment. Right now - this is my reality = I am very happily married (1 year) to a recovering alcoholic (12 years) I am t...
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Positivelydee
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3
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392
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Thirteen days thirteen hours in jail
(Preview)
Hi,
I am a new member to this group. There are no local meetings in which I can attend, apparently I live in the middle of nowhere. I am so very glad to have found this place.
My H has been struggling with alocholism and drug addiction for over 18 years, we have been married for only 6. He was recentl...
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Heather72
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7
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456
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Acceptance
(Preview)
I have come to a conclusion. When I have a problem with something or someone it is really a problem within myself. I'm too needy, I'm not patient enough, I'm not persuasive enough, I'm not something....and it may not even be something that someone else really needs rather something that I THINK someo...
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seekingserenity
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5
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502
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Anger slipping out
(Preview)
Our internet connection was down at work for almost 2 days. I had a lot of work to do, so on the 2nd day I drove home to use my internet connection. Meanwhile, I have not been happy with my job or the way I am being treated. There are a lot of games being played and I am getting caught in the middle. Anyway, I was a...
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kissers
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1
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323
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Alanon convent
(Preview)
I wish I could just become an alanon nun. I got a call from an old friend, went on vacation and wouldn't ya know he wants to move in with me. Yes, he's a drunk. Like slurring after 5 pm drunk. I know this is just another lesson to learn. More of what I do, say, expect. How I am attracted to these really screwed u...
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serendipity
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7
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625
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It happens just like that!
(Preview)
Okay, I was feeling pretty serene tonight. Then my hubby and I were doing a Yahoo Messenger IM with a friend that lives in another state - He didn't feel like typing so we agreed that I would type (I type much faster than he does) and I would type what he wanted to say and what I wanted to say. The problem was th...
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Positivelydee
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4
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535
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Accountability.....I learned from this (sharing)
(Preview)
This really made sense when I read it in this book and thought it might hit a cord with a few of us: To the degree we know that we have something to do with what happens to us. we gain authority, influence, and control over our lives. We see that by changing our attitudes and actions, we can change what happen...
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Friendofyours
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1
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385
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Struggling to Let Go and Let God
(Preview)
I walk three miles every morning. I get up at 6am, drink some coffee and read the paper, then hit the road with my i-pod. It is my time. This morning I couldn't stop crying for most of the way. Two years ago this month my AH went to rehab. He left the day after our daughter's 5th birthday. He relapsed 5 days aft...
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babysteps
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5
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532
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Needing some advice - Help
(Preview)
Not sure if I am at the right place, But I am maybe just needing some advice. I am hoping there is something I can do to help. I have been married for almost 20 years. We were married when I was 18 and he was 21. About a year ago he started drinking alot more then ususal. Before it was a six pack on the weeke...
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Anakasha
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7
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541
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Serenity Prayer twist
(Preview)
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference And - God - Grant me the courage and the strength to have full faith in your power and your plan. Help me to hear see and feel your message so that I may better serve your will...
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Positivelydee
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1
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440
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HP....painfull and freeing
(Preview)
So an odd moment last night or rather this morning I thank my higher power for.
At 2:45 am my phone rings...I startle awake.
I see in caller ID it is my exA...out of the house 2 weeks...I have no idea where he is...we have spoken briefly and nicely a few times about practical matters.
I have been suff...
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Fifi
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7
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576
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Finally!
(Preview)
Yesterday the restraining order was finally processed and accepted by the judge. It is for one year (!!) and in the paperwork the A can come out ONCE with a law officer to get the rest of his belongings. His lawyer also filed that lawsuit about splitting the property assets yesterday. In it the A deman...
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Kim65
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12
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598
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Letting Go PART II
(Preview)
Writing (journaling and writing poetry) saved my life (and continues to do so)... I thought I'd share these two poems on the subject of fear and letting go Living In Fear It's like being at the top of the very highest roller coaster and you're about to drop... Heart racing Breath quickened Every muscle...
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Positivelydee
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1
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296
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please give me words of encouragement
(Preview)
my fiance left today for rehab. he went to a facility in fl for 30 days. he made the choice on his own and arranged everything. i just miss him really bad. this is the first time we have ever been apart. however i know its the best thing for him and for us. just heart broken and i know he is struggling too....
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mistyk
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14
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3810
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Bitter sweet pains of grief/loss
(Preview)
(((Hello MIP Friends))) These last three days have been exhausting for us. One of my aunt's passed away on Saturday night. I was taking some time out from my AH and had been visiting with my mother and Sunday morning we got the call that she had died. We all had expected it as she had sufferred for a long...
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twinmom2
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10
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535
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Alanoners who drink?
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, What better place to find ESH. I have been so overwhelmed this summer with my mom's surgery and my son's undiagnosed illness. Well, to make a long story short, I have spent alot of time with my family of origin. Many things have come up but mom is doing better. My sister from out of town impli...
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nmike
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18
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1638
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Broken Promises and Shattered Dreams
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I am new here and firstly I am just so delighted to have come across your board. Tonight my heart is heavy almost breaking. Whilst My husband of 30 years lies snoring in a drunken stupor on the settee downstairs... I can remember a week ago when he promised me he would stop, and he did until t...
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petal
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9
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490
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Is Al-Anon for me?
(Preview)
I'm not sure how this is going to come out. My husband is an alcoholic and has been sober for 5 days. He is an extremely determined person, whose fault is to give 110% at everything he does. That included his drinking. What started as a way for us to add some fun to already fun activities spiraled out of...
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dollface
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11
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597
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Buddist thought for the day
(Preview)
We usu. call this "martyrdom," "self-victimization," or "manipulative deviance" "He insulted me, he hurt me, he defeated me, he robbed me." Those who think such things will not be free from hate. -Buddha
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Tiger2006
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2
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2284
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Sorry to myself
(Preview)
When I first came into the program it was hard enough realizing that I had to make amends. Huh? You mean, I grew up in an alcholic family, was abused and so on and so forth.... I think to myself, yeah, I'll make amends as soon as I get MINE!! :::holding hand out:: ::tapping foot:: ::hand on hip::: ME? make am...
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Positivelydee
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8
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748
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Update on No Show!
(Preview)
Well we talked the next day. He had to work late, wanted to know if I would come to his job site to pick up check after I got off work, Well when I got there rain had sent him home, he needed to talk to me any how.would I come out there. I wasn't real thrilled but knew if I didn't I wouldn't get the check. So I went....
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sisdragonfly1957
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4
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405
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My Child
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Today is the first day I have visited this site and was referred to it through a book I have been reading. I am glad to be here and have all hopes that I have found a place to learn, grow and have an outlet. I have a 21 year old son who is an alcoholic. He lives with my fiance and I along with my fiance...
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browneyes92563
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4
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634
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group conscience/ group inventory
(Preview)
First time here, am wondering how you get a f2f group to do either one of these. I have been going to my f2f for 3 yrs and have done neither. The group is not doing so well, I chaired a meeting on the topic of group conscience and found that only 2 out of the 8 people there new what is was or what it looked like, I w...
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libddy
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5
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8174
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It's a good day, ReeRee
(Preview)
Continuing my share from last week, my granddaughter was having a much better day on Saturday. She got to wear her favorite outfit & she was also able to go to ReeRee's Saturday meeting Ok - I'm going to try to attach the pictures - hopefully it will work. I had a good weekend visiting with several...
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Rita G
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4
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380
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I've done it now
(Preview)
Blehhh...
My sister came over to the house to go through our late mom's things and we started talking. I've avoided saying anything to her about her son for a couple years even though I can see I'll be going to his memorial one of these days. The last time I spoke to her about him was years ago and I didn'...
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roygbiv
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4
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563
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Kindness to one's self
(Preview)
This has been a mental theme lately, I think I'm just beginning to 'get it', what it means to love myself, be kind to myself, look out for myself. Before now it never occurred to me to do the things for myself that I automatically do for others to create comfort or safety. Somehow (I did grow up in an alcohol...
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Kim65
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5
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642
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Indecisiveness - Need guidance
(Preview)
I have some huge life changing decisions to make and my tendency in the past is to get so overwhelmed and indecisive. I know my HP will guide me and I've been praying for that though sometimes I miss the signs....I want to see the big neon that says, "You Should Do X" I know he's much more subt...
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twinkie
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4
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618
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Reality check please!
(Preview)
Last week I got a summons for the A from another county for an arraignment (he was pulled over and busted for having meth on him). I told the deputy sheriff I had this item, and asked what I should do with it. The ex parte (restraining order) prevents either of us from contacting the other. The sheriff sa...
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Kim65
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16
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712
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Well He Was A No Show!
(Preview)
Well he didn't come over or call. I worried all day and got sidetrack at work and obsessed all for nothing. Now I just wonder when I will hear from him again. I'm tired of calling and asking for my money. I've told him I don't like calling him and reminding him every month. But it has also made me realize t...
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sisdragonfly1957
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2
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324
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not a victim
(Preview)
So since my A boyfriend moved out, I am struggling so much with the emotions and thoughts around our relationship. I find myself feeling so angry at all the hurt he caused me and I can often fall into the victim role....he took advantage of me and my home and my kids and my money and my kindness and my patien...
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Fifi
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5
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942
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Latest Letter from my AH
(Preview)
We have been getting along well for the past week and a half, since I came back from my week away at my Mom's for vacation. Last night, we were talking about dinner, decided what to have. I started the potatoes in the oven, and we both went out on the deck to string fresh green beans his mom had brought over....
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Becky1
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9
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578
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Isn't it interesting when you just stand back and do nothing?
(Preview)
I have found the best thing for me in this program is my new ability to stand back and do nothing. I never thought I could do it but here it has been almost a year since I moved out and I find the more I stand back and observe, the more interesting it gets. I would never have thought that all of the things that h...
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carolinagirl
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7
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501
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Changes
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I am glad to be back reading the boards, also working on the steps. I have gotten thru steps 1 thru almost 3...... going to f2f meeting once a week. My AB is in rehab for 3 months. I have came a long way and I pray that god is with the A to give him the strength he needs to live a sober life One Day At A Ti...
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mandalynn38
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1
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452
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My mother has hit an all time low in my eyes.
(Preview)
My mother has done a ton of things that would make you shake your heads in total disbelief. So here's the last epidsode of her craziness. My brother who is a heroin addict (pain killers as well) was living with her. She let him stay for the money he was giving her $1000's a month. Her mortgage is only $400 an...
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Friendofyours
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9
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513
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glad I found this board.
(Preview)
Hello, I am so happy that someone in my homegroup suggested this site to me. I missed my favorite meeting tonight because I had to work late. I have enjoyed reading the posts on here! Yesterday was a difficult day with my A. What a difference a day makes! We went to his company picnic, he was totally stress...
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rita m
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4
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465
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He's been sober for over a week.
(Preview)
My husband has been sober for over a week now. He's gotten over the "shakes" and is seeming to be a bit like his old self. I can see glimmers of the man I fell in love with. He even worked all day yesterday and we had a nice peaceful evening at home last night. I know it won't last and am quitely sa...
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Chetch
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6
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553
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he started drinking again. do i say anything?
(Preview)
hi folks, my dh started drinking again last night. do i say anything or just go about my business like everything is alright?
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nursedebbiepink
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6
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786
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I'm here
(Preview)
I'm new and feeling alone. Married to a functional alcoholic. I've recognized the fact for years but haven't acted on it. I truly love my husband but only his co-workers see his wonderful sober side. I'm tired of being by myself all the time because the drunkman is busy with his true love. I work pa...
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Nedsaid
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6
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415
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i doing good
(Preview)
I haven't been posting in a while here what is happen with me. I am doing awsome. I have changed my meds and my concernation much better. I am doing good. I have been able to see how long I come. I have talked to be able to talk to both my sponsor and sponsee. My sponsor is very proud of me on my progress. Just wan...
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nycbt
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7
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330
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Movies, Movies, Movies
(Preview)
Good Morning MIP Family - It's Friday the 13th - So tonight every cable station will be airing all those horror flicks, and from a previous post about movies - I began to think lets do something fun today on our board - It's Friday and I could use something fun and relaxing - So what are your top 5 movies? ...
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Rita G
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9
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496
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confronting the fantasy
(Preview)
One of the hardest things I have had to do in recent years was confront the fantasy. A few years ago I wen t to visit my dysfunctional family who I had not seen for decades. They were incredibly dysfunctional and really enmeshed. Nevertheless I had fantasies of some wonderful reunion and reconciliatio...
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maresie2
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6
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868
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Alanon share at AA?
(Preview)
I am in alanon but I attend an OPEN AA meeting once a week with my husband and I've been going to this meeting for a few months now. My sponsor belongs to AA and also attends this meeting. We all go out afterwards for fellowship ~ The other day I asked my sponsor if she thought it was appropriate or inapprop...
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Positivelydee
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12
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1249
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How to describe Al anon?
(Preview)
My sis-in-law (AH's sister) went in to outpatient rehab 2-months ago and recently relapsed. Her husband has called us displaying the classic signs of co-dependency and a person in desperate need of some help himself. I have tried to encourage him to look into al anon, explaining that it is about taki...
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babysteps
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7
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751
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Lets hear from the guilt monger out there...
(Preview)
((((((Everyone))))))) How bad is your desire to hoard up guilt? Do you have a special fire proof safe for it? Maybe some of you ladies have a velvet lined box with a dainty little key. Do you make sure that nobody else has any.... selfishly taking the guilt from everyone you touch like you were curing...
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rtexas
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7
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1627
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CHANGING FOR ME....
(Preview)
((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) My life has been a mery-go-round, for the last eight months (more than usual)..lol Anyway, I have constantly "Let" myself be manipulated, used, etc, by the recovering A in my life. I didn't see it at the time, didnt want to. I know all my family and frien...
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ally
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2
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396
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STEP 4 ~ UGH
(Preview)
I'm doing my 4th step with my sponsor and it is NOT fun. Okay - I knew that it wouldn't be - but this has really gotten to me. Since starting this step I've typed 7 pages on FEAR and 7 pages on Anger and I have really bad dreams every night so I wake up in a 'bad way' ~ Gratefully I am living with a recovering alcoh...
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Positivelydee
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10
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585
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Danz and FAQ's ?
(Preview)
Could we have some guidance on when and where to post FAQ's that we want to suggest for the new project? When you get a chance, would like to hear. Thanks much, mspw
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wp
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4
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384
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Boundaries
(Preview)
A fellow member and I have been friends for a couple years. He had told me that he wanted to be more than friends. I told him I was not interested in anything other than friendship. He moved away 8 months ago to another state and I hadn't heard anything from him. Recently he e-mailed me and told me he was comi...
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kissers
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8
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493
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Manipulation
(Preview)
Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate. -- William Arthur Ward Manipulation is not foreign to most of us. We have probably manipulated and been manipulated. Manipulators may or may not be aware of what the...
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Tiger2006
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1
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343
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Needing Some ESH!
(Preview)
I haven't posted here much but am always reading and have went to some f/t/f meetings, read all kinds of books and am getting much better after almost 2 years apart and 2 years of living together. My axbf is coming by my house today to pay me some money he owes me. i told him to mail it or just drop it off. yes I...
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sisdragonfly1957
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5
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313
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movie therapy?!
(Preview)
Hi al-pals,
I'm on vacation at the beach in a lovely condo that has HBO! Wow -- what a treat!
Last night, we watched "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." It was such a nice chick flick... about some young women (aged 17yrs?) who deal with various issues with the help of this pair of pan...
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itsgot2bgd
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5
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462
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What Do You Do?
(Preview)
What do you do when your AH starts badgering you or telling you how much you suck? For the last 24 hours I have been told I don't appreciate him or the place we live, been ignored when I say food's ready, and kicked out of my own house for a few hours.I'm so exhusted and raw emotionally from all of it. I don't d...
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souljoy
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3
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379
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Went to Court!!!! UPDATE>>>
(Preview)
Well I missed most of work and sat in court for three hours today. It wasn't particularly scary because I knew the A probably wouldn't be there as he is in jail. I didn't have to talk to anyone, never said a word and was awarded a $413 per month order. It starts in September. Like I said tho, he's in jail b...
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carolinagirl
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5
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342
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Family Gatherings have become a nightmare
(Preview)
I am not sure if I am handling things in a positve manner as far as family gatherings go. I have three adult children. In the past most holidays were sucessfully held at my home. When one of the other children had a party everyone gathered at their home. Since my A daughter's behavior has gotten worse she...
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mom1973
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5
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951
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