The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband has been sober for over a week now. He's gotten over the "shakes" and is seeming to be a bit like his old self. I can see glimmers of the man I fell in love with. He even worked all day yesterday and we had a nice peaceful evening at home last night. I know it won't last and am quitely saving my money and looking for a place to move when the insanity starts again.
When he and I first got married 7 years ago he would work all day, quit at 5:00 and have 2 or 3 drinks before dinner and then stop drinking after dinner. He would occasionally get really drunk on the week ends, special occasions, etc. It was barable and I could live with it. I was diagnosed with lung cancer in November of 2005 and have had several sureries and treatments since then. That is when his drinking really spiraled out of control. Last November he got so bad that he was too weak to walk. His doctor said he had severe anemia from all the alcohol consumption and put him in the hospital and detoxed him and gave him blood transfusions, etc. He stayed sober until the anemia was resolved and then said he was going to only drink "lightly". That lasted for about a week and then he was back at it again. The anemia like symptoms came back in Febuary culminating in him getting up at night to go to the bathroom, falling and cutting his head quite badly and losing control of his bowels. He detoxed himself - refused to go to the doctor - and stayed sober for about 3 months that time. Again he was going to drink "lightly', which of course only lasted a few days. I would come home from work and find him passed out on the couch. The anemia symptoms started again, worse this time, to the point that he couldn't stand up. My question is is he in the end stages of alchoholism? I don't know how much more his body can take.
Yes, the anemia coming and going would say he's in the end stages of alcoholism. When I worked at the rehab hospital, the medical director would call any severe life threatening symptom like this a sign of what's to come, and sooner rather than later.
I applaud you for your "plan B" to take care of yourself!!
Well, maybe his health problems are the sign he needs to make some changes, but unfortunately you can't count on that. So sorry.
About all you can do is what you are doing - take care of yourself, try to enjoy those glimmers of the man he used to be when they show up. Get to meetings if you can - you could probably really use some hugs about now.
Hello Chetch , only he knows when he is done . Everyone is different . I hope u are attending meetings for yourself , I am sure u ahve better things to do than worry about wether he makes it this time or not . Waiting for the other shoe to drop is a waste of your life and time . What are u gonna do if he does get and stay sober ? are u ready for his sobriety . Get the focus back on your needs and u will be fine . and I really hope he makes it and that m oney your stashing away can be used for a great holiday for both of you . Get your own program goin and he may follow into his own . Miracles do happen Louise
When my best friend died of alcoholism a few things happend. The first signs I remember a year before was she would have a seizure when she stopped drinking because her body was soaked internally with alcohol. She physically and mentally could not stop. She would drink and a tiny bit would get her "drunk" and she would start talking about wierd things that didn't make sense. This is called mush brain. This went on for a year all signs pointing to her liver starting to fail. If she would have stopped at the first signs her liver possibly could have rejunvenated itself. She continued to drink. She started to swell. Her ankles, parts of her body, her face. Again, it was her liver failing. Then she started to turn yellow. The whites of her eyes were yellow and so was her skin. You could see her veins really well especially in her swollen stomach. Two weeks later she died. Her liver could no longer filter the alcohol and it shut down. That's just her situation. Good luck to you. I hope with all my might that yours stops. You do NOT want to see them die this way.
Well there could be other medical conditions in there too. Few of us have just one thing going on.
The issue for me of course is that I have an A boyfriend who has major medical stuff but then so do I. I can definitely empathise with your situation.
Sometimes I get very fed up with the fact his medical stuff always takes precedence. When I was ill he was very irritable about it.
I am not taking care of my medical stuff because his is always so urgent. I don't see ways around that sometimes. I am doing far far better than I have in months yet there is neglect there.
I do know for me having plan b's help a lot. I also try to think long term. What do I want to do in a yea.r . given your own frail medical conditon I hope you are kind to yourself.
