Hi positvley , easy does it , be gentle on yourself  Step four is not about how bad u are it's about who you are and when u know who u are u can change the things u don't like .   Fear as your finding out is usually behind every decission we ever made til now .  Real or imagined . 
Slow down , don't beat yourself up , take a rest occasionally , things will become perfectly clear .
made me smile when usaid u had done 7 pages on fear , the answer is probably on page ONE . hehe  as u are finding out so much repetition goin on . And when it's time for some sleep ask God to take it out of your head .
Maybe revisit step 3 before you start working on it again . Perhaps u need to remind yourself that your not alone .  Hang in there   Louise
Up to this point what your uncovering has been running your life ,w hen done they will loose thier power . once exposed thier just experiences that got you to where u are today . 

-- Edited by abbyal at 16:34, 2007-07-15

 Hi dee, my first question has been answered--your sponsor will be a huge assest as you work through your issues. Don't be afraid of how much you write: quality, quality, quality. My biggest section was on me, on my fear psyche issues, specifically sorting out what was mine, what was yours, what was real, what was delusional. Keep working with your sponsor, keep working with meetings, and sign up for extra service. It'll make a huge difference. And always pray for the desire to be honest, through, and true to yourself.
 Found this in my email. Hope it helps love.
Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate.
-- William Arthur Ward

Manipulation is not foreign to most of us. We have probably manipulated and been manipulated. Manipulators may or may not be aware of what they're doing. There may be no malice involved. Often, the only intention is to find the means to continue an addictive behavior. Manipulation, however, can be terrifying if we're the end receiver. We may also deny that it's happening, usually because we're so confused by it all. But when we realize the truth, we're frightened not only by what's happened, but also by what could happen. We've fallen for this before, what's to prevent us from falling for it again?

We do our best to detach from the manipulator. This may mean letting go physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. The more distance we have, the easier it is to see the truth, to recognize the manipulation. When we must have contact, we keep our head on straight. If our former spouse calls us asking for money that he or she says is due, we give ourselves time to think. We don't need to answer to anyone right away. As time goes on, we're better able to identify and to deal appropriately with manipulative behavior.

Today I will have the courage to own the truth.

Welcome Dee to MIP :) Just had to say hi and glad you're here.

I'm with you on the FEAR factor, it's woven through my life and likely the common denominator in the not-so-healthy decisions I've made. I'm pre-step four right now, though I have done one many years ago in another 12 step program.

I'm a lot older and see "more" levels this time, I guess.

This board has been such a support to me, I live in a very rural area of north Idaho, no true Alanon meetings, the Alanons go to AA and speak right up along with the rest. But I can jump in here anytime I want to, and I've really needed to. I hope you find this a helpful adjunct to the program you are working so hard at now!

As we all are you too are a work in progress. Dont just dwell on your character defects, but remember to add to your list your character assets as well. Perhaps that will help you keep in balance within yourself. As I have heard many times, step 4 is like an onion, as you keep peeling off the many layers , you will soon , come to your inner core. Keep coming back it works if you work it and YOU are worth it!

Even if  there were no alcohol in this world, we would still need to take a look at ourselves from time to time.  It sucks while you do it, but once you get it done, you are relieved of a lot of tension and you keep your side of the street clean a whole  lot easier.