Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

october · october

I am newly married (2 years) and my husband has been sober for over 20 years. My problem is that he does not know how to show affection. He has a brick wall up and I don't know how to break it down. He is very rigid, everything is either black or white, and has even told me that he has no problems talking with...

verenda · verenda

I have not posted here in a very long time. I married my husband Dec 30 2006. Soon after our marriage he became increasingly abusive to the point of physical abuse when he was drunk. He was always somewaht emotionally abusive, in the form of jealousy, possessiveness, but when drinking it was much worse...

Diva · Diva

I decided to go back to Home Depot and get the chair. Should have bought it yesterday, but that opportunity passed. It was $34.00 yesterday. Remember that. Today when I decided to go, A partner offered to go with me in case I needed help getting the thing in the back of the car. I said, "OK,&quo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Is it this feeling that I have that no matter what happens everything is going to be ok?

Fifi · Fifi

As I read I am not always aware of the vocabulary in Alanon as I am relatively new...my question for the day .....what is meant by calling our A's our qualifier? If that was the only question I actually had what an easy day this would be....I have so many....like why can't I sleep? Why does this feel like...

Gailey · Gailey

I GOT IT!!!!!! I am sitting at my desk with a headache and feeling very weepy at the moment. Here is why: I have a 1 bedroom apartment attached to my home that is in the suburbs. Since December a friend of mine, who left her husband, was living there. Things have started to settle down for her and now she is bu...

evey · evey

Hello All, AH got DWI and had his license revoked. Is our car insurance still valid since his license is revoked? I just thought of this today. He is the primary insurance holder and all cars are registered to him. (I am in NY). He was arrained, not tried yet. Any experieces out there, please share. Thank...

Fifi · Fifi

Help....I am so overwhelmed by my life.....it is just me....no A anymore (other than the shell shock I feel in the aftermath of him which is very real and present). BUt I try and work at 3 different locations...long hard days...then come home to take care of two kids...the house is a mess, lawn unmowed,...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I met my AHsober when I was 17, and we've just passed our 18 yr anniversary. When we first got married, I supported us while he was in grad school and then he became the breadwinner of the family while I stayed home with the kids. I continued the role of money-manager, mainly because we just never change...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners. Thank you all for your support. Here and cyber space adn at face to face and all my friends and coworkers. walked into surgery with my support system in place. sa w my A lasat week and he ignored me and didn't ask about my upcoming surgery. didnt worry about it said a prayer but during the surg...

Jenna_77 · Jenna_77

This is my first post and really, my first visit to this particular site. I googled in desperation and this is where I landed. I hope you don't mind me dropping in to scream a little. I just broke up with my alcoholic signifigant other last saturday. (the 18th of Aug.) I have heard nothing from him and...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hello everyone! I finally got registered after 3 days of reading everyone's posts. I am so glad to be here. It's so comforting knowing I'm not alone and there are other people dealing with what I am too. I finally feel like I'm headed in the right direction. Ready for my book?! I am living with my AH...

Alethea · Alethea

I have been feeling lost and alone for a long time now. Maybe it has only been like this for 3 years, as long as I have been with her, but it feels like lifetimes when you are consumed every second of every moment with the A & the alcohol. The drinking wasn't always this bad & there was a time tha...

Toni · Toni

Well, I have done a little bit of reading on co-dependency, funny that I have heard the term, have known all along that I was enabling but I avoided any literature or conversations that dealt with the subject. I think that I was not just afraid but certain that I would find myself within the words and the...

joanie5 · joanie5

Hi there all I am on my neighbor's computer and my computer has to be wiped clean so I am not sure when I will have it up and running so Intill I am seen I will need some one to cover my Monday night chair. I hope it will not take to long plus I will have to set up micro. Thanks so much Joanie

ddub · ddub

I'm a bit lonely & sad as my college kids started to move out today - a normal emotion and happy for them. The family dynamics change as members come & go...... It's even more pronounced in an A family as they are some of the only ones who really knows what goes on at home. My eldest two seem mor...

hopefully · hopefully

I found AlAnon & this board in April & try to read your stories & comments daily. I also go to f2f meetings twice a week & all have helped so much in bringing some peace & solice into my life. I believe many of our stories are different but the pain in our hearts & souls is the same. M...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

I am having a hard time following through with the alanon program. I have not been to a f2f meeting in over a month and honestly I did not feel like I was getting much from the meeting I was going to. The group that I was going to focuses on the 12 steps and it seems everyone there has been doing this for som...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I don't even know what to write. I just wanted for someone to remember her with me :( Her mother didn't have a funeral for her and sent me a copied paper saying she brought her daughter home in a beautiful bronze box. Sorry but that didn't say "good-bye" to me. It was selfish on her part. She said...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"...Until you get it together, I am no longer paying for your perscriptions. And if you keep acting like a butt, I'm gonna cut you off my health insurance." So, this was the message on my machine last night. It couldn't have come at a better time, because I had just woken up from heavy sedati...

Chetch · Chetch

I came home last night from work and my AH was so drunk he could barely stand up or talk. We had a few weeks ago reached a compromise where he said he would only drink on the week ends. His drinking has gotten really out of control for the past two years and he is always promising to quit. The longest this ha...

kitty · kitty

Two months ago, my mom's schnauzer died rapidly from cancer at only 8. He was my favorite dog of hers, a true care-taker, never wanting to fight but only keep peace. Still greiving from this, last Sunday... it had to be 105* in Houston. The A was cleaning out the big truck, closed the doors & wen...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Everything falls together instead of everything falling apart? I just found out I am getting reimbursed almost $300 from work for one of the classes I took plus the book and calculator I had to buy for it. I also filed a claim on my medical for a series of shots $120 each, and got back a letter requesting...

frazzled · frazzled

omg i am so happy to finally be able to tell someone how i feel. i am ready to explode. this might be a long post bit i will try and keep it simple. i have been with my guy since 2000 or 2001 i cant remember at the moment and it doesnt matter. he has always had a problem i guess but just over the past year or more, it...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

August 22, 2007 Stupid (replaced name...) Its been a year now that we have been separated and living apart. I am moving on with my life and apparently from you letter you are just standing still or running in circles. It amazes me that you think that I owe you something. You had places to stay, great jo...

maresie2 · maresie2

Last weekend I had a huge row with the A because he told he was not going to help me to move. That was after he asked me to foot a huge bill to help him move immediately. I did not say no to that just asked him to think it through. The A is well aware I have been ill lately and my stamina is down. He doesn't care. E...

maresie2 · maresie2

I got everything moved last night. I am worn out. Now everything is a huge mess, boxes everywhere and I am camped out for a day or so. I have to go back tonight and clean up the old place and hand over the keys. That'll really be it for the night. Then tomorrow I can begin the task of organixing and reorganizin...

serendipity · serendipity

I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I am still going over what happened the other day with all the text messages, the I miss you's, the I need to see you's. And then yesterday he called and left me a voice mail saying that he recieved the letter from the mediation people telling him that I was unwilling to d...

canadianguy · canadianguy

"Words can be only used for two things..... to BUILD UP, or to BREAK DOWN." I remember really being moved by this statement at a meeting one time a few years ago, and it is sooooo true. I find myself getting judgemental, or self-righteous, or condascending, or gossiping, etc., etc..... an...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) I'm having one of those days when I feel that no sooner do I get finished putting out one fire another one pops up. Its been that way for the last three weeks. There is no time to get exhausted and quit because if I quit I'd be surrendering to creditors and idiots who could care less about...

Jasocal · Jasocal

I'm not ready to hit the "Send" button yet. Partly because of the shitstorm I'm going to endure but a small piece of me is worried about something more awful. I'm finally in a position where I may HAVE to expose my wife's drinking to someone and she's never been in that position before and I...

Toni · Toni

Hi there, I am a mother of a recovering meth addict. Is it okay for me to join this group and discuss issues of this nature, haven't read too much yet but see just alcoholism issues so far??? I could really use some advise and support in learning how to detach from her drama and her problems. My husband and I...

Kim65 · Kim65

I just got off the phone with my lawyer, who updated me on work done to date, and then told me that in order for the lawsuit (to get the A off the property title and "settle" the assets) they would need another ten to fifteen grand. I USED to have that kind of money laying around! But since I no lon...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so I'm a little upset today. I got a letter from the A (hole) yesterday from the jail. He actually had the nerve to say please don't act like one of those $#i^ head women who uses the kids or keeps me from them or something along that line and then went on like I had done that in the past. Now that got my blo...

mstrixe2 · mstrixe2

Good Morning Everyone, I have been reading on this board a few times everyday and even replying to some of the post that really touched home with me. My problem is that I want so much to share and get some of this wonderful feedback that I see offered, but getting from my head to my mouth or rather fin...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex sent me a text last night asking if I was alone and I wasn't so I sent one back saying no and then I shut off my phone. He sent one more that he misses me. I got that this morning and sent him one that said I miss him too. I do. I have been. So, he sends me another this afternoon asking to see me today at 6. I said...

Maria123 · Maria123

This struck me very profoundly. My 20 year old overheard a story of an alcoholic needing a liver transplant. The guy had about 4 years of sobriety but is drinking again heavily. When my son heard that "so and so" was at the bar drinking, he said "Don't you think that's totally disres...

maire rua · maire rua

as some of you know, the ex-A has been staying with me since he got sick in the new years, well the health has worsened considerably from a bowel complaint, he got the news today and he sees the consultant on 23rd september, prayers please,

sonja ja · sonja ja

First let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you. I wonder if someone can comment on this...or if anyone has ever had this problem? I seem to be obsessed with death. As if it's the ONLY outcome for my son that there will ever be. I have buried him over and over again in my mind an...

maresie2 · maresie2

I'm in for a long night tonight with the final part of the move. I've just been too exhausted to do that much this week. There is a whole emotional exhaustion in me from dealing with the A over the last 3 months. I'm now 3 days into no contact. I have to say it is a relief but there is also a fall out. So tonight...

serendipity · serendipity

What won't I do so that I don't have to look at me. I hear the "be gentle with yourself" and " if a friend were going thru this what would you say to them?" But even with a friend there comes a moment when you have to say "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR FANNY!" When being kind and gen...

maresie2 · maresie2

Right now the A has me labelled to everyone as a betraying mean person. I am supposed to just keep on taking his crazy self destructive behavior and supporting hm regardless. He did not tell me about his hit and run but that is acceptable. He did not tell me that he did not pay the rent either. He did not tell...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))) This is me nearly 2 years into my programme...lol And I'm "Smiling".... Still got somethings to work on, and take care of me...still on the "Thin" side.. But I am getting there.... Thanks to all my Alanonics......lol Love Your Crazy Ally Girl...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Had a car accident yesterday. Was in the middle of a sandwich--got hit from behind, which meant I hit a lady in front of me, which meant my head hit the steering wheel. Everyone--the guy that hit the guy behind me; the guy that hit me; the lady I hit;--left the scene. Well, lemme correct myself: they lef...

debilyn · debilyn

Are you ok??? Please let us know, we need ya!!! love,debilyn

summergrl83 · summergrl83

Lately, my A has been drinking again- not every day, and always after I go to sleep or am gone. If I didn't know he was an alcoholic, I would almost be ok with this. My question is, isn't the nature of alcoholism that they can't control their drinking like the rest of us? Won't his drinking inevitably get wo...

ddub · ddub

I am so glad someone wrote recently that they did the steps like I seem to be: 1 2 13 1 1 Would appreciate your input on the following and what is ESH again? (: I think that's what I am asking for?? So AH yo yo's every other day it seems, cutting back but functioning days, isolated drinker, quiet and pass...

anjie · anjie

to try to "fix" my AH. Or to even consider curing him in anyway. I sought Alanon purely for selfish reasons, for me. I made the decision to go to meetings for me, to post on this board to help me. I never even thought my seeking Alanon would have any effect on him. He is deep in denial & I don't e...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((All)) Just a quick note to let you know I am doing well. Moved in to my new place, but no internet yet, Be back on soon!!! Hope you all are well! Jennifer

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I had another garage sale last weekend and in the process reinjured my healing back! I stayed home yesterday because it hurt so bad I couldn't get from the bed to the bathroom. I slept all day on muscle relaxers and percocet and ibuprofen. Today is a little better but I'm scared to death that I won't be...

Jen · Jen

My AH asked me again today, how am I doing today? He does this whenever he acts with druggie type behavior and I call him on it. I do not accept that kind of behavior from him anymore. The lies and the deceptions of himself and me, I bring out in the open. I do not accept excuses. Then he wants to know how I think...

babysteps · babysteps

Thanks to everyone who replied to my post about keeping quiet to my AH, it seems to be having positive effects in our home. He came to me Sunday and we had a really productive talk. He said he is going back to meetings and calling his sponsor. He has not had a drink since then and is at a meeting right now. Don'...

maresie2 · maresie2

I got seriously overloaded, tired, panicked and tired on the weekend. I am on a new tack. Camping out, making do and letting myself rest. Tonigth I have to go to the new place and do what I can. I just keep turning it over. I got some serious rest last night the first time for days. I know th encounter I had on t...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

The Dark Side Have you ever gone outside at night and looked closely at the new moon? Or looked through a telescope at the moon when it was crescent shaped? Although what we see is a bright slice, we know there's more. Even when the moon is full and lights the night sky, there's a dark side to the moon. There...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Ok so this my dilemma today.... Would it be wrong to make a new rule around here??? So I have figured out that I can't control my A husband drinking. I totally get it and I have accepted it. WOO HOO!! He knows the rule now that He can no longer drive the kids anywhere alone. Now would it be a controlling issue i...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone))))) Last night I looked into the face of insanity. I wish I could say it is the first time I've seen this, it's been a while. My A and I are divorcing. He is a control freak and he's not handling this well. He scares me and I'm scared for him. To see someone rage thru 3 or 4 different extreme...

maresie2 · maresie2

I had a meltdown on the weekend. The door to the place wasn't ok. I just had this vision of not being able to get in and being all alone and locked out. Luckily a friend came through for me. So I am about 2/3rds the way there. Have to make another run on Wednesday. After that I have stuff in storage and have no...

arty · arty

when i kicked him out of my home in december, he stood by his alcohol and told me he doesnt want to give it up... then 7 weeks later, when he realised i had finally actually given up on us, he decided to quit. after all these years of waiting for him to do it and stick to it, he finally does it when i have nothing...

serendipity · serendipity

I was writing this really great, thoughtful, wise post when all the sudden my computer (or HP?) logged me off there by losing all these really awsome, fantastic insights. HHMMMM...... I guess the jist of it is this: I have been missing my ex AH madly the past few days (weeks....years....). I have come...

Jen · Jen

My A and I run a business together. He does the labor and I manage the schedule and bookkeeping from home. He gets the money directly from customers when work is completed. No way to change this. I realize I can't control this aspect. My dilema is, I would like to work part-time but can't make enough to pay...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	recovering alcoholic/addict husband (Preview) I am newly married (2 years) and my husband has been sober for over 20 years. My problem is that he does not know how to show affection. He has a brick wall up and I don't know how to break it down. He is very rigid, everything is either black or white, and has even told me that he has no problems talking with...	october	6	873	Aug 26, 2007 by Kim65
	Alcoholic, abusive husband (Preview) I have not posted here in a very long time. I married my husband Dec 30 2006. Soon after our marriage he became increasingly abusive to the point of physical abuse when he was drunk. He was always somewaht emotionally abusive, in the form of jealousy, possessiveness, but when drinking it was much worse...	verenda	5	746	Aug 26, 2007 by abbyal
	The chair...finale... (Preview) I decided to go back to Home Depot and get the chair. Should have bought it yesterday, but that opportunity passed. It was $34.00 yesterday. Remember that. Today when I decided to go, A partner offered to go with me in case I needed help getting the thing in the back of the car. I said, "OK,&quo...	Diva	10	458	Aug 26, 2007 by Kim65
	What is serenity? (Preview) Is it this feeling that I have that no matter what happens everything is going to be ok?	carolinagirl	6	1790	Aug 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Qualifier? (Preview) As I read I am not always aware of the vocabulary in Alanon as I am relatively new...my question for the day .....what is meant by calling our A's our qualifier? If that was the only question I actually had what an easy day this would be....I have so many....like why can't I sleep? Why does this feel like...	Fifi	3	7531	Aug 26, 2007 by Loupiness
	I just kept praying for strength until........ (Preview) I GOT IT!!!!!! I am sitting at my desk with a headache and feeling very weepy at the moment. Here is why: I have a 1 bedroom apartment attached to my home that is in the suburbs. Since December a friend of mine, who left her husband, was living there. Things have started to settle down for her and now she is bu...	Gailey	10	543	Aug 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	DWI Question? (Preview) Hello All, AH got DWI and had his license revoked. Is our car insurance still valid since his license is revoked? I just thought of this today. He is the primary insurance holder and all cars are registered to him. (I am in NY). He was arrained, not tried yet. Any experieces out there, please share. Thank...	evey	4	535	Aug 25, 2007 by shebear
	prioritizing? (Preview) Help....I am so overwhelmed by my life.....it is just me....no A anymore (other than the shell shock I feel in the aftermath of him which is very real and present). BUt I try and work at 3 different locations...long hard days...then come home to take care of two kids...the house is a mess, lawn unmowed,...	Fifi	7	541	Aug 25, 2007 by Fifi
	Being a grown-up... (Preview) I met my AHsober when I was 17, and we've just passed our 18 yr anniversary. When we first got married, I supported us while he was in grad school and then he became the breadwinner of the family while I stayed home with the kids. I continued the role of money-manager, mainly because we just never change...	Loupiness	6	472	Aug 25, 2007 by Jen
	the pain of surgery has its blessings (Preview) Hi Alanoners. Thank you all for your support. Here and cyber space adn at face to face and all my friends and coworkers. walked into surgery with my support system in place. sa w my A lasat week and he ignored me and didn't ask about my upcoming surgery. didnt worry about it said a prayer but during the surg...	nmike	5	333	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	I think I am losing it. (Preview) This is my first post and really, my first visit to this particular site. I googled in desperation and this is where I landed. I hope you don't mind me dropping in to scream a little. I just broke up with my alcoholic signifigant other last saturday. (the 18th of Aug.) I have heard nothing from him and...	Jenna_77	11	1197	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	I'm finally here! (Preview) Hello everyone! I finally got registered after 3 days of reading everyone's posts. I am so glad to be here. It's so comforting knowing I'm not alone and there are other people dealing with what I am too. I finally feel like I'm headed in the right direction. Ready for my book?! I am living with my AH...	CJ098	6	334	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	Lost & Alone (Preview) I have been feeling lost and alone for a long time now. Maybe it has only been like this for 3 years, as long as I have been with her, but it feels like lifetimes when you are consumed every second of every moment with the A & the alcohol. The drinking wasn't always this bad & there was a time tha...	Alethea	5	996	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	One day, one thing at a time... (Preview) Well, I have done a little bit of reading on co-dependency, funny that I have heard the term, have known all along that I was enabling but I avoided any literature or conversations that dealt with the subject. I think that I was not just afraid but certain that I would find myself within the words and the...	Toni	6	428	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	My computer is crashed (Preview) Hi there all I am on my neighbor's computer and my computer has to be wiped clean so I am not sure when I will have it up and running so Intill I am seen I will need some one to cover my Monday night chair. I hope it will not take to long plus I will have to set up micro. Thanks so much Joanie	joanie5	1	280	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	step back, step forward two (Preview) I'm a bit lonely & sad as my college kids started to move out today - a normal emotion and happy for them. The family dynamics change as members come & go...... It's even more pronounced in an A family as they are some of the only ones who really knows what goes on at home. My eldest two seem mor...	ddub	5	563	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	Thankful for this sounding board (Preview) I found AlAnon & this board in April & try to read your stories & comments daily. I also go to f2f meetings twice a week & all have helped so much in bringing some peace & solice into my life. I believe many of our stories are different but the pain in our hearts & souls is the same. M...	hopefully	2	258	Aug 25, 2007 by leo
	Not doing too good working my program (Preview) I am having a hard time following through with the alanon program. I have not been to a f2f meeting in over a month and honestly I did not feel like I was getting much from the meeting I was going to. The group that I was going to focuses on the 12 steps and it seems everyone there has been doing this for som...	Denoraphy	8	602	Aug 24, 2007 by Denoraphy
	One year today since my Amber passed away (Preview) I don't even know what to write. I just wanted for someone to remember her with me :( Her mother didn't have a funeral for her and sent me a copied paper saying she brought her daughter home in a beautiful bronze box. Sorry but that didn't say "good-bye" to me. It was selfish on her part. She said...	Friendofyours	19	485	Aug 24, 2007 by roygbiv
	No threats allowed! (Preview) "...Until you get it together, I am no longer paying for your perscriptions. And if you keep acting like a butt, I'm gonna cut you off my health insurance." So, this was the message on my machine last night. It couldn't have come at a better time, because I had just woken up from heavy sedati...	Tiger2006	7	430	Aug 24, 2007 by maire rua
	I've had it (Preview) I came home last night from work and my AH was so drunk he could barely stand up or talk. We had a few weeks ago reached a compromise where he said he would only drink on the week ends. His drinking has gotten really out of control for the past two years and he is always promising to quit. The longest this ha...	Chetch	5	539	Aug 24, 2007 by Jerry F
	Murdered Dog/Forgiveness Issues (Preview) Two months ago, my mom's schnauzer died rapidly from cancer at only 8. He was my favorite dog of hers, a true care-taker, never wanting to fight but only keep peace. Still greiving from this, last Sunday... it had to be 105* in Houston. The A was cleaning out the big truck, closed the doors & wen...	kitty	9	638	Aug 23, 2007 by Jenna_77
	Isn't it nice when (Preview) Everything falls together instead of everything falling apart? I just found out I am getting reimbursed almost $300 from work for one of the classes I took plus the book and calculator I had to buy for it. I also filed a claim on my medical for a series of shots $120 each, and got back a letter requesting...	carolinagirl	5	391	Aug 23, 2007 by QOD
	my recovering alcoholic and patience (Preview) omg i am so happy to finally be able to tell someone how i feel. i am ready to explode. this might be a long post bit i will try and keep it simple. i have been with my guy since 2000 or 2001 i cant remember at the moment and it doesnt matter. he has always had a problem i guess but just over the past year or more, it...	frazzled	8	1027	Aug 23, 2007 by frazzled
	Letter to the A burn or send? (Preview) August 22, 2007 Stupid (replaced name...) Its been a year now that we have been separated and living apart. I am moving on with my life and apparently from you letter you are just standing still or running in circles. It amazes me that you think that I owe you something. You had places to stay, great jo...	carolinagirl	7	713	Aug 23, 2007 by carolinagirl
	4 days in to no contact. (Preview) Last weekend I had a huge row with the A because he told he was not going to help me to move. That was after he asked me to foot a huge bill to help him move immediately. I did not say no to that just asked him to think it through. The A is well aware I have been ill lately and my stamina is down. He doesn't care. E...	maresie2	1	455	Aug 23, 2007 by carolinagirl
	phase four of move (Preview) I got everything moved last night. I am worn out. Now everything is a huge mess, boxes everywhere and I am camped out for a day or so. I have to go back tonight and clean up the old place and hand over the keys. That'll really be it for the night. Then tomorrow I can begin the task of organixing and reorganizin...	maresie2	1	331	Aug 23, 2007 by carolinagirl
	cranky (Preview) I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I am still going over what happened the other day with all the text messages, the I miss you's, the I need to see you's. And then yesterday he called and left me a voice mail saying that he recieved the letter from the mediation people telling him that I was unwilling to d...	serendipity	2	767	Aug 23, 2007 by QOD
	Words to live by.... (Preview) "Words can be only used for two things..... to BUILD UP, or to BREAK DOWN." I remember really being moved by this statement at a meeting one time a few years ago, and it is sooooo true. I find myself getting judgemental, or self-righteous, or condascending, or gossiping, etc., etc..... an...	canadianguy	4	455	Aug 23, 2007 by cstwwt
	Still fighting the good fight (Preview) (((MIP Family))) I'm having one of those days when I feel that no sooner do I get finished putting out one fire another one pops up. Its been that way for the last three weeks. There is no time to get exhausted and quit because if I quit I'd be surrendering to creditors and idiots who could care less about...	twinmom2	5	471	Aug 23, 2007 by sweetums
	I'm in desperate trouble. A letter to my wife. (Preview) I'm not ready to hit the "Send" button yet. Partly because of the shitstorm I'm going to endure but a small piece of me is worried about something more awful. I'm finally in a position where I may HAVE to expose my wife's drinking to someone and she's never been in that position before and I...	Jasocal	18	1152	Aug 23, 2007 by leo
	An opening question (Preview) Hi there, I am a mother of a recovering meth addict. Is it okay for me to join this group and discuss issues of this nature, haven't read too much yet but see just alcoholism issues so far??? I could really use some advise and support in learning how to detach from her drama and her problems. My husband and I...	Toni	12	522	Aug 23, 2007 by leo
	God's plan (????) (Preview) I just got off the phone with my lawyer, who updated me on work done to date, and then told me that in order for the lawsuit (to get the A off the property title and "settle" the assets) they would need another ten to fifteen grand. I USED to have that kind of money laying around! But since I no lon...	Kim65	6	522	Aug 23, 2007 by carolinagirl
	minimize...minimize...minimize (Preview) Ok so I'm a little upset today. I got a letter from the A (hole) yesterday from the jail. He actually had the nerve to say please don't act like one of those $#i^ head women who uses the kids or keeps me from them or something along that line and then went on like I had done that in the past. Now that got my blo...	carolinagirl	7	299	Aug 22, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Where to start (Preview) Good Morning Everyone, I have been reading on this board a few times everyday and even replying to some of the post that really touched home with me. My problem is that I want so much to share and get some of this wonderful feedback that I see offered, but getting from my head to my mouth or rather fin...	mstrixe2	5	464	Aug 22, 2007 by mstrixe2
	confused and scared (Preview) My ex sent me a text last night asking if I was alone and I wasn't so I sent one back saying no and then I shut off my phone. He sent one more that he misses me. I got that this morning and sent him one that said I miss him too. I do. I have been. So, he sends me another this afternoon asking to see me today at 6. I said...	serendipity	7	585	Aug 22, 2007 by aunitedway
	more outta the mouths of babes (Preview) This struck me very profoundly. My 20 year old overheard a story of an alcoholic needing a liver transplant. The guy had about 4 years of sobriety but is drinking again heavily. When my son heard that "so and so" was at the bar drinking, he said "Don't you think that's totally disres...	Maria123	0	308	Aug 22, 2007 by Maria123
	difficult times (Preview) as some of you know, the ex-A has been staying with me since he got sick in the new years, well the health has worsened considerably from a bowel complaint, he got the news today and he sees the consultant on 23rd september, prayers please,	maire rua	7	404	Aug 22, 2007 by Maria123
	Obsessed with Death!! (Preview) First let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you. I wonder if someone can comment on this...or if anyone has ever had this problem? I seem to be obsessed with death. As if it's the ONLY outcome for my son that there will ever be. I have buried him over and over again in my mind an...	sonja ja	9	514	Aug 22, 2007 by Toni
	keepng it simple (Preview) I'm in for a long night tonight with the final part of the move. I've just been too exhausted to do that much this week. There is a whole emotional exhaustion in me from dealing with the A over the last 3 months. I'm now 3 days into no contact. I have to say it is a relief but there is also a fall out. So tonight...	maresie2	4	298	Aug 22, 2007 by QOD
	What Won't I do.... (Preview) What won't I do so that I don't have to look at me. I hear the "be gentle with yourself" and " if a friend were going thru this what would you say to them?" But even with a friend there comes a moment when you have to say "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR FANNY!" When being kind and gen...	serendipity	5	328	Aug 22, 2007 by maresie2
	trusting an A /abawndoning myself (Preview) Right now the A has me labelled to everyone as a betraying mean person. I am supposed to just keep on taking his crazy self destructive behavior and supporting hm regardless. He did not tell me about his hit and run but that is acceptable. He did not tell me that he did not pay the rent either. He did not tell...	maresie2	3	393	Aug 22, 2007 by carolinagirl
	THIS IS ME HAPPY....LOL (Preview) (((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))) This is me nearly 2 years into my programme...lol And I'm "Smiling".... Still got somethings to work on, and take care of me...still on the "Thin" side.. But I am getting there.... Thanks to all my Alanonics......lol Love Your Crazy Ally Girl...	ally	4	287	Aug 22, 2007 by maire rua
	Just blowing off steam; really glad you all are here (Preview) Had a car accident yesterday. Was in the middle of a sandwich--got hit from behind, which meant I hit a lady in front of me, which meant my head hit the steering wheel. Everyone--the guy that hit the guy behind me; the guy that hit me; the lady I hit;--left the scene. Well, lemme correct myself: they lef...	Tiger2006	5	436	Aug 22, 2007 by maire rua
	Ok where is Friend of OURS???? (Preview) Are you ok??? Please let us know, we need ya!!! love,debilyn	debilyn	3	421	Aug 22, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Controlled Drinking (Preview) Lately, my A has been drinking again- not every day, and always after I go to sleep or am gone. If I didn't know he was an alcoholic, I would almost be ok with this. My question is, isn't the nature of alcoholism that they can't control their drinking like the rest of us? Won't his drinking inevitably get wo...	summergrl83	6	588	Aug 22, 2007 by mstrixe2
	aaarrrggghhh (Preview) I am so glad someone wrote recently that they did the steps like I seem to be: 1 2 13 1 1 Would appreciate your input on the following and what is ESH again? (: I think that's what I am asking for?? So AH yo yo's every other day it seems, cutting back but functioning days, isolated drinker, quiet and pass...	ddub	6	360	Aug 22, 2007 by Jen
	It never occured to me.... (Preview) to try to "fix" my AH. Or to even consider curing him in anyway. I sought Alanon purely for selfish reasons, for me. I made the decision to go to meetings for me, to post on this board to help me. I never even thought my seeking Alanon would have any effect on him. He is deep in denial & I don't e...	anjie	6	547	Aug 21, 2007 by anjie
	Alive and well (Preview) Hello (((All)) Just a quick note to let you know I am doing well. Moved in to my new place, but no internet yet, Be back on soon!!! Hope you all are well! Jennifer	Jennifer	3	340	Aug 21, 2007 by debilyn
	The Continuing Saga... (Preview) I had another garage sale last weekend and in the process reinjured my healing back! I stayed home yesterday because it hurt so bad I couldn't get from the bed to the bathroom. I slept all day on muscle relaxers and percocet and ibuprofen. Today is a little better but I'm scared to death that I won't be...	carolinagirl	4	404	Aug 21, 2007 by debilyn
	It's not about me or the kids, really. (Preview) My AH asked me again today, how am I doing today? He does this whenever he acts with druggie type behavior and I call him on it. I do not accept that kind of behavior from him anymore. The lies and the deceptions of himself and me, I bring out in the open. I do not accept excuses. Then he wants to know how I think...	Jen	3	461	Aug 21, 2007 by Leetle
	Detaching is working (Preview) Thanks to everyone who replied to my post about keeping quiet to my AH, it seems to be having positive effects in our home. He came to me Sunday and we had a really productive talk. He said he is going back to meetings and calling his sponsor. He has not had a drink since then and is at a meeting right now. Don'...	babysteps	3	352	Aug 21, 2007 by Leetle
	Pacing is everything (Preview) I got seriously overloaded, tired, panicked and tired on the weekend. I am on a new tack. Camping out, making do and letting myself rest. Tonigth I have to go to the new place and do what I can. I just keep turning it over. I got some serious rest last night the first time for days. I know th encounter I had on t...	maresie2	4	318	Aug 21, 2007 by maresie2
	"Join...breathing sound the dark side....breathing sound...." (Preview) The Dark Side Have you ever gone outside at night and looked closely at the new moon? Or looked through a telescope at the moon when it was crescent shaped? Although what we see is a bright slice, we know there's more. Even when the moon is full and lights the night sky, there's a dark side to the moon. There...	Tiger2006	0	296	Aug 21, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Right or wrong??? (Preview) Ok so this my dilemma today.... Would it be wrong to make a new rule around here??? So I have figured out that I can't control my A husband drinking. I totally get it and I have accepted it. WOO HOO!! He knows the rule now that He can no longer drive the kids anywhere alone. Now would it be a controlling issue i...	sgraingermk	9	614	Aug 21, 2007 by Diva
	One day at a time.... (Preview) ((((Everyone))))) Last night I looked into the face of insanity. I wish I could say it is the first time I've seen this, it's been a while. My A and I are divorcing. He is a control freak and he's not handling this well. He scares me and I'm scared for him. To see someone rage thru 3 or 4 different extreme...	Lunamoth	9	482	Aug 21, 2007 by maresie2
	stepping stones (Preview) I had a meltdown on the weekend. The door to the place wasn't ok. I just had this vision of not being able to get in and being all alone and locked out. Luckily a friend came through for me. So I am about 2/3rds the way there. Have to make another run on Wednesday. After that I have stuff in storage and have no...	maresie2	3	415	Aug 21, 2007 by carolinagirl
	He has been sober now 100 days...why am i so angry? (Preview) when i kicked him out of my home in december, he stood by his alcohol and told me he doesnt want to give it up... then 7 weeks later, when he realised i had finally actually given up on us, he decided to quit. after all these years of waiting for him to do it and stick to it, he finally does it when i have nothing...	arty	11	761	Aug 21, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Love? (Preview) I was writing this really great, thoughtful, wise post when all the sudden my computer (or HP?) logged me off there by losing all these really awsome, fantastic insights. HHMMMM...... I guess the jist of it is this: I have been missing my ex AH madly the past few days (weeks....years....). I have come...	serendipity	8	956	Aug 21, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Needing some suggestions. (Preview) My A and I run a business together. He does the labor and I manage the schedule and bookkeeping from home. He gets the money directly from customers when work is completed. No way to change this. I realize I can't control this aspect. My dilema is, I would like to work part-time but can't make enough to pay...	Jen	5	657	Aug 21, 2007 by babysteps
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.