Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

serendipity · serendipity

I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I am still going over what happened the other day with all the text messages, the I miss you's, the I need to see you's. And then yesterday he called and left me a voice mail saying that he recieved the letter from the mediation people telling him that I was unwilling to d...

canadianguy · canadianguy

"Words can be only used for two things..... to BUILD UP, or to BREAK DOWN." I remember really being moved by this statement at a meeting one time a few years ago, and it is sooooo true. I find myself getting judgemental, or self-righteous, or condascending, or gossiping, etc., etc..... an...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) I'm having one of those days when I feel that no sooner do I get finished putting out one fire another one pops up. Its been that way for the last three weeks. There is no time to get exhausted and quit because if I quit I'd be surrendering to creditors and idiots who could care less about...

Jasocal · Jasocal

I'm not ready to hit the "Send" button yet. Partly because of the shitstorm I'm going to endure but a small piece of me is worried about something more awful. I'm finally in a position where I may HAVE to expose my wife's drinking to someone and she's never been in that position before and I...

Toni · Toni

Hi there, I am a mother of a recovering meth addict. Is it okay for me to join this group and discuss issues of this nature, haven't read too much yet but see just alcoholism issues so far??? I could really use some advise and support in learning how to detach from her drama and her problems. My husband and I...

Kim65 · Kim65

I just got off the phone with my lawyer, who updated me on work done to date, and then told me that in order for the lawsuit (to get the A off the property title and "settle" the assets) they would need another ten to fifteen grand. I USED to have that kind of money laying around! But since I no lon...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so I'm a little upset today. I got a letter from the A (hole) yesterday from the jail. He actually had the nerve to say please don't act like one of those $#i^ head women who uses the kids or keeps me from them or something along that line and then went on like I had done that in the past. Now that got my blo...

mstrixe2 · mstrixe2

Good Morning Everyone, I have been reading on this board a few times everyday and even replying to some of the post that really touched home with me. My problem is that I want so much to share and get some of this wonderful feedback that I see offered, but getting from my head to my mouth or rather fin...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex sent me a text last night asking if I was alone and I wasn't so I sent one back saying no and then I shut off my phone. He sent one more that he misses me. I got that this morning and sent him one that said I miss him too. I do. I have been. So, he sends me another this afternoon asking to see me today at 6. I said...

Maria123 · Maria123

This struck me very profoundly. My 20 year old overheard a story of an alcoholic needing a liver transplant. The guy had about 4 years of sobriety but is drinking again heavily. When my son heard that "so and so" was at the bar drinking, he said "Don't you think that's totally disres...

maire rua · maire rua

as some of you know, the ex-A has been staying with me since he got sick in the new years, well the health has worsened considerably from a bowel complaint, he got the news today and he sees the consultant on 23rd september, prayers please,

sonja ja · sonja ja

First let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you. I wonder if someone can comment on this...or if anyone has ever had this problem? I seem to be obsessed with death. As if it's the ONLY outcome for my son that there will ever be. I have buried him over and over again in my mind an...

maresie2 · maresie2

I'm in for a long night tonight with the final part of the move. I've just been too exhausted to do that much this week. There is a whole emotional exhaustion in me from dealing with the A over the last 3 months. I'm now 3 days into no contact. I have to say it is a relief but there is also a fall out. So tonight...

serendipity · serendipity

What won't I do so that I don't have to look at me. I hear the "be gentle with yourself" and " if a friend were going thru this what would you say to them?" But even with a friend there comes a moment when you have to say "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR FANNY!" When being kind and gen...

maresie2 · maresie2

Right now the A has me labelled to everyone as a betraying mean person. I am supposed to just keep on taking his crazy self destructive behavior and supporting hm regardless. He did not tell me about his hit and run but that is acceptable. He did not tell me that he did not pay the rent either. He did not tell...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))) This is me nearly 2 years into my programme...lol And I'm "Smiling".... Still got somethings to work on, and take care of me...still on the "Thin" side.. But I am getting there.... Thanks to all my Alanonics......lol Love Your Crazy Ally Girl...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Had a car accident yesterday. Was in the middle of a sandwich--got hit from behind, which meant I hit a lady in front of me, which meant my head hit the steering wheel. Everyone--the guy that hit the guy behind me; the guy that hit me; the lady I hit;--left the scene. Well, lemme correct myself: they lef...

debilyn · debilyn

Are you ok??? Please let us know, we need ya!!! love,debilyn

summergrl83 · summergrl83

Lately, my A has been drinking again- not every day, and always after I go to sleep or am gone. If I didn't know he was an alcoholic, I would almost be ok with this. My question is, isn't the nature of alcoholism that they can't control their drinking like the rest of us? Won't his drinking inevitably get wo...

ddub · ddub

I am so glad someone wrote recently that they did the steps like I seem to be: 1 2 13 1 1 Would appreciate your input on the following and what is ESH again? (: I think that's what I am asking for?? So AH yo yo's every other day it seems, cutting back but functioning days, isolated drinker, quiet and pass...

anjie · anjie

to try to "fix" my AH. Or to even consider curing him in anyway. I sought Alanon purely for selfish reasons, for me. I made the decision to go to meetings for me, to post on this board to help me. I never even thought my seeking Alanon would have any effect on him. He is deep in denial & I don't e...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((All)) Just a quick note to let you know I am doing well. Moved in to my new place, but no internet yet, Be back on soon!!! Hope you all are well! Jennifer

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I had another garage sale last weekend and in the process reinjured my healing back! I stayed home yesterday because it hurt so bad I couldn't get from the bed to the bathroom. I slept all day on muscle relaxers and percocet and ibuprofen. Today is a little better but I'm scared to death that I won't be...

Jen · Jen

My AH asked me again today, how am I doing today? He does this whenever he acts with druggie type behavior and I call him on it. I do not accept that kind of behavior from him anymore. The lies and the deceptions of himself and me, I bring out in the open. I do not accept excuses. Then he wants to know how I think...

babysteps · babysteps

Thanks to everyone who replied to my post about keeping quiet to my AH, it seems to be having positive effects in our home. He came to me Sunday and we had a really productive talk. He said he is going back to meetings and calling his sponsor. He has not had a drink since then and is at a meeting right now. Don'...

maresie2 · maresie2

I got seriously overloaded, tired, panicked and tired on the weekend. I am on a new tack. Camping out, making do and letting myself rest. Tonigth I have to go to the new place and do what I can. I just keep turning it over. I got some serious rest last night the first time for days. I know th encounter I had on t...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

The Dark Side Have you ever gone outside at night and looked closely at the new moon? Or looked through a telescope at the moon when it was crescent shaped? Although what we see is a bright slice, we know there's more. Even when the moon is full and lights the night sky, there's a dark side to the moon. There...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Ok so this my dilemma today.... Would it be wrong to make a new rule around here??? So I have figured out that I can't control my A husband drinking. I totally get it and I have accepted it. WOO HOO!! He knows the rule now that He can no longer drive the kids anywhere alone. Now would it be a controlling issue i...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone))))) Last night I looked into the face of insanity. I wish I could say it is the first time I've seen this, it's been a while. My A and I are divorcing. He is a control freak and he's not handling this well. He scares me and I'm scared for him. To see someone rage thru 3 or 4 different extreme...

maresie2 · maresie2

I had a meltdown on the weekend. The door to the place wasn't ok. I just had this vision of not being able to get in and being all alone and locked out. Luckily a friend came through for me. So I am about 2/3rds the way there. Have to make another run on Wednesday. After that I have stuff in storage and have no...

arty · arty

when i kicked him out of my home in december, he stood by his alcohol and told me he doesnt want to give it up... then 7 weeks later, when he realised i had finally actually given up on us, he decided to quit. after all these years of waiting for him to do it and stick to it, he finally does it when i have nothing...

serendipity · serendipity

I was writing this really great, thoughtful, wise post when all the sudden my computer (or HP?) logged me off there by losing all these really awsome, fantastic insights. HHMMMM...... I guess the jist of it is this: I have been missing my ex AH madly the past few days (weeks....years....). I have come...

Jen · Jen

My A and I run a business together. He does the labor and I manage the schedule and bookkeeping from home. He gets the money directly from customers when work is completed. No way to change this. I realize I can't control this aspect. My dilema is, I would like to work part-time but can't make enough to pay...

maresie2 · maresie2

I moved quite a bit of stuff last night and am absolutely exhausted. I have so many obstacles this weekend. In addition the people where the A are are agitating they want their money. I have to stand back and let him deal with it. Of course he has no money!!!! I'm back to feeling overwhelmed. What's new i...

cstwwt · cstwwt

Hello all, Thanks for reading. I'm new here so please bear with me. My AH and I a trying to work on our marriage. I feel like he is blaming me for his drinking still, I know I did not cause this! He says I feel that way because I am a trigger for him.........I don't know enough about this........help??...

serendipity · serendipity

He came over and was severly manic. Same as he has been. He bounced around and tried to make convo but he was like a 12 year old boy in front of me, the parent. Anyway, he asked how I was doing with all the "stuff" and I told him and I think his reply was "yeah, that really sucks." Sucks?...

lil_pieces · lil_pieces

I finally returned home after two days at a friends house. Those of you who read my last post...will remember that we got into a huge fight...he started to call me crazy, I told him to quit, he called me delusional...I told him if he didn't stop that I would leave the house and stay with a friend...he kept...

tropicalrozes · tropicalrozes

I love my boyfriend so very much, but sometimes I get so resentful that I say hurtful things, almost unintentionally. Its like all day I'm thinking about what I can do to make him better, to make him want to be sober... then, I jab out of nowhere. I feel like I hurt so much that its not fair that he gets to numb...

ddub · ddub

Just wanted new ones like me to know and thanks to all of you who have been here for awhile, one thing I found that helped me drag myself out of the hopeless dark, back to some glimmer of hope again. I have been avoiding things, can't get to sleep, if sleep have nighmares that wake me, nap days to avoid, depre...

babysteps · babysteps

My AH is on quite a bender. He isn't working on our business, not bathing, not doing much of anything but drinking. His physical health is suffering. By this point in the past I would have blown up at him and we would have it out. He would make all the promises and quickly break them. This time I made a consci...

EdwardNotEddie · EdwardNotEddie

I grew up in chaos and poverty because of booze. Went to Alateen at 14.At 17watched my Dad die at 40 from alcholism. Left soon after to get away from drunken widow /mother. Drank myself into a bottom by 30. Got AA,sober 26 years,bigshot old timer. My 17 year old ,drank / drove into a guard rail... I pu...

ddub · ddub

ok, so I am confused and spinning thoughts. I'll just vent and hope some one can make head or tails of this! I am frustrated so it's a type of anger about hope, trust and/or feeling like a fool. alanon encourages work on yourself and learn all you can about alcoholism so trying to be hopeful and/or conc...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

HeHe I finally got back in here FOr the longest time it would not let me sign in for some reason Miss you guys love youuuuu xoxo

mhgal · mhgal

Well, my A friend is in the rehab/psych hospital. The police went to his house last night and carried out the warrant. When I talked with him (he called me to take him some clothes), he was telling me what the doctors talked to him about, and how he replied. Not being cooperative and refusing to take th...

lmt123 · lmt123

This makes no sense at all. AGAIN. After I had chilled about my A driving the other day, after we discussed it again yesterday, after him saying "it was a rash decision that I shouldn't have made" (sigh...I've heard THAT so many times since he's been sober that I really don't believe a word...

serenity62 · serenity62

Hi mip family, I'm trying to get in chat and it says im banned???? Somebody made a mistake cuz I promise I am a good girl lol, didn't do anything wrong, please help me get back in. Thanks SERENITY62

artygirl · artygirl

Hello I've been doing quite a bit of thinking back recently about what I've been through in the last couple of years or so. A quick recap of my experience... I was married for 16 years... about 10 of them were good. In the last several years, my husband started drinking more and more and also started usin...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

(((EVERYONE))) Thanks so much for all your responses!!! It's so nice to have the feedback. Speaking to my friends and family about of this is so hard. They try so hard to help, but all that does is get me upset. They just don't get it. I'm still trying to get it in in their heads that there is nothing ANY of us...

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Ok so not even a week since the last incident with my AH husband, he drank again last night.(He had said he was quitting!! Blah Blah blah! But I'm Ok with that. I didn't get upset, Just told him That I'm not stupid (He tried to cover it with gum) You don't have to hide it. Than I went back to bed. NO arguing! I...

sonja ja · sonja ja

Last night my son was here (allowed him to visit with his daughter) and I new the moment he walked through the door something was wrong. But this has been on going for over 17 years and I don't have the energy to even WANT to know anymore. I'm so, so tired. Turns out later in the night he started crying and sai...

Fifi · Fifi

To all who posted back to my depressed entry...THANKYOU. I realize over and over what an important place this is for me to be and this time I hope to make it a regular part of my healing. I gain so much through all your ESH.....most of all this time , hearing those of you that mentioned this was a time to reall...

ddub · ddub

This place is my life line between meetings once a week. I have gone to only 6 mtgs and it really helps me to see there is another way to do this but I don't get how yet. That's ok tho' as reading your posts lets me know, I will get it. The slogans have already helped me a lot to stay calm and I keep understand...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

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bobump · bobump

Apologies for those who read my post on another board....but I thought it was cool and wanted to share. I took my son to his first Major League baseball game this week on Monday. He's been to minor league games but never the grandour of a MLB game. One of the things he asked me about was the designs on the gra...

Christy · Christy

What would you do if you knew that there was a Force in the Universe bigger than you are, and bigger than the A's, that ALWAYS equals out any injustice, that ALWAYS balances out the books, that ALWAYS creates what other people bring out and bring upon themselves? What would you do if you didn't have to w...

twinkie · twinkie

Starting to obsess about the A and what he should do and how is mother should act. Stuck up in my head the past few days...grrrrr.... Had been doing so well staying detached, focusing on me and moving on with my life. Where did this come from? It is early recovery for him, I've been in a program for a year...

Katy · Katy

Has anyone got any experience about this and mood swings with a recovering alchoholic. Someone told me that when they stop drinking the body craves sugar in a different form, my husband never had a sweet tooth when he actively drank, but he's mad for cakes and all things sugar loaded now and fatty me...

Dale · Dale

This is my first posting here, and I wanted to pose a question. I know alcholics have common charteristics, but do you think that al-anons do also. And do you think that alcholics can have the same charteristics as alanons? You see I have been a recovering alcholic for 19yrs, and grew up in a terribly al...

Diva · Diva

Having a child who is addicted must be the most awful situation a parent can face. Intimating or suggesting that a suffering parent allow his/her child to fall into the gutter goes against every principle I believe in and hold dear. Detachment is a concept that, like most others, is relative. I am r...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I had a phone conversation with ah tonight (he was sober). He's been four hours away at his job for eight months. He got the job so that we wouldn't lose the house. I figured after he established that he would do what it took to get us together. Well.....he never did anything. He lives in a trailor with two g...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	cranky (Preview) I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I am still going over what happened the other day with all the text messages, the I miss you's, the I need to see you's. And then yesterday he called and left me a voice mail saying that he recieved the letter from the mediation people telling him that I was unwilling to d...	serendipity	2	716	Aug 23, 2007 by QOD
	Words to live by.... (Preview) "Words can be only used for two things..... to BUILD UP, or to BREAK DOWN." I remember really being moved by this statement at a meeting one time a few years ago, and it is sooooo true. I find myself getting judgemental, or self-righteous, or condascending, or gossiping, etc., etc..... an...	canadianguy	4	406	Aug 23, 2007 by cstwwt
	Still fighting the good fight (Preview) (((MIP Family))) I'm having one of those days when I feel that no sooner do I get finished putting out one fire another one pops up. Its been that way for the last three weeks. There is no time to get exhausted and quit because if I quit I'd be surrendering to creditors and idiots who could care less about...	twinmom2	5	411	Aug 23, 2007 by sweetums
	I'm in desperate trouble. A letter to my wife. (Preview) I'm not ready to hit the "Send" button yet. Partly because of the shitstorm I'm going to endure but a small piece of me is worried about something more awful. I'm finally in a position where I may HAVE to expose my wife's drinking to someone and she's never been in that position before and I...	Jasocal	18	1090	Aug 23, 2007 by leo
	An opening question (Preview) Hi there, I am a mother of a recovering meth addict. Is it okay for me to join this group and discuss issues of this nature, haven't read too much yet but see just alcoholism issues so far??? I could really use some advise and support in learning how to detach from her drama and her problems. My husband and I...	Toni	12	455	Aug 23, 2007 by leo
	God's plan (????) (Preview) I just got off the phone with my lawyer, who updated me on work done to date, and then told me that in order for the lawsuit (to get the A off the property title and "settle" the assets) they would need another ten to fifteen grand. I USED to have that kind of money laying around! But since I no lon...	Kim65	6	470	Aug 23, 2007 by carolinagirl
	minimize...minimize...minimize (Preview) Ok so I'm a little upset today. I got a letter from the A (hole) yesterday from the jail. He actually had the nerve to say please don't act like one of those $#i^ head women who uses the kids or keeps me from them or something along that line and then went on like I had done that in the past. Now that got my blo...	carolinagirl	7	245	Aug 22, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Where to start (Preview) Good Morning Everyone, I have been reading on this board a few times everyday and even replying to some of the post that really touched home with me. My problem is that I want so much to share and get some of this wonderful feedback that I see offered, but getting from my head to my mouth or rather fin...	mstrixe2	5	419	Aug 22, 2007 by mstrixe2
	confused and scared (Preview) My ex sent me a text last night asking if I was alone and I wasn't so I sent one back saying no and then I shut off my phone. He sent one more that he misses me. I got that this morning and sent him one that said I miss him too. I do. I have been. So, he sends me another this afternoon asking to see me today at 6. I said...	serendipity	7	524	Aug 22, 2007 by aunitedway
	more outta the mouths of babes (Preview) This struck me very profoundly. My 20 year old overheard a story of an alcoholic needing a liver transplant. The guy had about 4 years of sobriety but is drinking again heavily. When my son heard that "so and so" was at the bar drinking, he said "Don't you think that's totally disres...	Maria123	0	263	Aug 22, 2007 by Maria123
	difficult times (Preview) as some of you know, the ex-A has been staying with me since he got sick in the new years, well the health has worsened considerably from a bowel complaint, he got the news today and he sees the consultant on 23rd september, prayers please,	maire rua	7	361	Aug 22, 2007 by Maria123
	Obsessed with Death!! (Preview) First let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you. I wonder if someone can comment on this...or if anyone has ever had this problem? I seem to be obsessed with death. As if it's the ONLY outcome for my son that there will ever be. I have buried him over and over again in my mind an...	sonja ja	9	476	Aug 22, 2007 by Toni
	keepng it simple (Preview) I'm in for a long night tonight with the final part of the move. I've just been too exhausted to do that much this week. There is a whole emotional exhaustion in me from dealing with the A over the last 3 months. I'm now 3 days into no contact. I have to say it is a relief but there is also a fall out. So tonight...	maresie2	4	254	Aug 22, 2007 by QOD
	What Won't I do.... (Preview) What won't I do so that I don't have to look at me. I hear the "be gentle with yourself" and " if a friend were going thru this what would you say to them?" But even with a friend there comes a moment when you have to say "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR FANNY!" When being kind and gen...	serendipity	5	281	Aug 22, 2007 by maresie2
	trusting an A /abawndoning myself (Preview) Right now the A has me labelled to everyone as a betraying mean person. I am supposed to just keep on taking his crazy self destructive behavior and supporting hm regardless. He did not tell me about his hit and run but that is acceptable. He did not tell me that he did not pay the rent either. He did not tell...	maresie2	3	346	Aug 22, 2007 by carolinagirl
	THIS IS ME HAPPY....LOL (Preview) (((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))) This is me nearly 2 years into my programme...lol And I'm "Smiling".... Still got somethings to work on, and take care of me...still on the "Thin" side.. But I am getting there.... Thanks to all my Alanonics......lol Love Your Crazy Ally Girl...	ally	4	239	Aug 22, 2007 by maire rua
	Just blowing off steam; really glad you all are here (Preview) Had a car accident yesterday. Was in the middle of a sandwich--got hit from behind, which meant I hit a lady in front of me, which meant my head hit the steering wheel. Everyone--the guy that hit the guy behind me; the guy that hit me; the lady I hit;--left the scene. Well, lemme correct myself: they lef...	Tiger2006	5	382	Aug 22, 2007 by maire rua
	Ok where is Friend of OURS???? (Preview) Are you ok??? Please let us know, we need ya!!! love,debilyn	debilyn	3	374	Aug 22, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Controlled Drinking (Preview) Lately, my A has been drinking again- not every day, and always after I go to sleep or am gone. If I didn't know he was an alcoholic, I would almost be ok with this. My question is, isn't the nature of alcoholism that they can't control their drinking like the rest of us? Won't his drinking inevitably get wo...	summergrl83	6	544	Aug 22, 2007 by mstrixe2
	aaarrrggghhh (Preview) I am so glad someone wrote recently that they did the steps like I seem to be: 1 2 13 1 1 Would appreciate your input on the following and what is ESH again? (: I think that's what I am asking for?? So AH yo yo's every other day it seems, cutting back but functioning days, isolated drinker, quiet and pass...	ddub	6	318	Aug 22, 2007 by Jen
	It never occured to me.... (Preview) to try to "fix" my AH. Or to even consider curing him in anyway. I sought Alanon purely for selfish reasons, for me. I made the decision to go to meetings for me, to post on this board to help me. I never even thought my seeking Alanon would have any effect on him. He is deep in denial & I don't e...	anjie	6	492	Aug 21, 2007 by anjie
	Alive and well (Preview) Hello (((All)) Just a quick note to let you know I am doing well. Moved in to my new place, but no internet yet, Be back on soon!!! Hope you all are well! Jennifer	Jennifer	3	301	Aug 21, 2007 by debilyn
	The Continuing Saga... (Preview) I had another garage sale last weekend and in the process reinjured my healing back! I stayed home yesterday because it hurt so bad I couldn't get from the bed to the bathroom. I slept all day on muscle relaxers and percocet and ibuprofen. Today is a little better but I'm scared to death that I won't be...	carolinagirl	4	362	Aug 21, 2007 by debilyn
	It's not about me or the kids, really. (Preview) My AH asked me again today, how am I doing today? He does this whenever he acts with druggie type behavior and I call him on it. I do not accept that kind of behavior from him anymore. The lies and the deceptions of himself and me, I bring out in the open. I do not accept excuses. Then he wants to know how I think...	Jen	3	415	Aug 21, 2007 by Leetle
	Detaching is working (Preview) Thanks to everyone who replied to my post about keeping quiet to my AH, it seems to be having positive effects in our home. He came to me Sunday and we had a really productive talk. He said he is going back to meetings and calling his sponsor. He has not had a drink since then and is at a meeting right now. Don'...	babysteps	3	308	Aug 21, 2007 by Leetle
	Pacing is everything (Preview) I got seriously overloaded, tired, panicked and tired on the weekend. I am on a new tack. Camping out, making do and letting myself rest. Tonigth I have to go to the new place and do what I can. I just keep turning it over. I got some serious rest last night the first time for days. I know th encounter I had on t...	maresie2	4	272	Aug 21, 2007 by maresie2
	"Join...breathing sound the dark side....breathing sound...." (Preview) The Dark Side Have you ever gone outside at night and looked closely at the new moon? Or looked through a telescope at the moon when it was crescent shaped? Although what we see is a bright slice, we know there's more. Even when the moon is full and lights the night sky, there's a dark side to the moon. There...	Tiger2006	0	256	Aug 21, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Right or wrong??? (Preview) Ok so this my dilemma today.... Would it be wrong to make a new rule around here??? So I have figured out that I can't control my A husband drinking. I totally get it and I have accepted it. WOO HOO!! He knows the rule now that He can no longer drive the kids anywhere alone. Now would it be a controlling issue i...	sgraingermk	9	556	Aug 21, 2007 by Diva
	One day at a time.... (Preview) ((((Everyone))))) Last night I looked into the face of insanity. I wish I could say it is the first time I've seen this, it's been a while. My A and I are divorcing. He is a control freak and he's not handling this well. He scares me and I'm scared for him. To see someone rage thru 3 or 4 different extreme...	Lunamoth	9	435	Aug 21, 2007 by maresie2
	stepping stones (Preview) I had a meltdown on the weekend. The door to the place wasn't ok. I just had this vision of not being able to get in and being all alone and locked out. Luckily a friend came through for me. So I am about 2/3rds the way there. Have to make another run on Wednesday. After that I have stuff in storage and have no...	maresie2	3	364	Aug 21, 2007 by carolinagirl
	He has been sober now 100 days...why am i so angry? (Preview) when i kicked him out of my home in december, he stood by his alcohol and told me he doesnt want to give it up... then 7 weeks later, when he realised i had finally actually given up on us, he decided to quit. after all these years of waiting for him to do it and stick to it, he finally does it when i have nothing...	arty	11	700	Aug 21, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Love? (Preview) I was writing this really great, thoughtful, wise post when all the sudden my computer (or HP?) logged me off there by losing all these really awsome, fantastic insights. HHMMMM...... I guess the jist of it is this: I have been missing my ex AH madly the past few days (weeks....years....). I have come...	serendipity	8	911	Aug 21, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Needing some suggestions. (Preview) My A and I run a business together. He does the labor and I manage the schedule and bookkeeping from home. He gets the money directly from customers when work is completed. No way to change this. I realize I can't control this aspect. My dilema is, I would like to work part-time but can't make enough to pay...	Jen	5	604	Aug 21, 2007 by babysteps
	Obstacles obstacles (Preview) I moved quite a bit of stuff last night and am absolutely exhausted. I have so many obstacles this weekend. In addition the people where the A are are agitating they want their money. I have to stand back and let him deal with it. Of course he has no money!!!! I'm back to feeling overwhelmed. What's new i...	maresie2	11	429	Aug 21, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Question about triggers... (Preview) Hello all, Thanks for reading. I'm new here so please bear with me. My AH and I a trying to work on our marriage. I feel like he is blaming me for his drinking still, I know I did not cause this! He says I feel that way because I am a trigger for him.........I don't know enough about this........help??...	cstwwt	6	592	Aug 21, 2007 by cstwwt
	Remind me again who is the crazy one (Preview) He came over and was severly manic. Same as he has been. He bounced around and tried to make convo but he was like a 12 year old boy in front of me, the parent. Anyway, he asked how I was doing with all the "stuff" and I told him and I think his reply was "yeah, that really sucks." Sucks?...	serendipity	3	366	Aug 20, 2007 by Kim65
	He "didn't remember" (Preview) I finally returned home after two days at a friends house. Those of you who read my last post...will remember that we got into a huge fight...he started to call me crazy, I told him to quit, he called me delusional...I told him if he didn't stop that I would leave the house and stay with a friend...he kept...	lil_pieces	8	1093	Aug 20, 2007 by maresie2
	why do i want to hurt my qualifier? (Preview) I love my boyfriend so very much, but sometimes I get so resentful that I say hurtful things, almost unintentionally. Its like all day I'm thinking about what I can do to make him better, to make him want to be sober... then, I jab out of nowhere. I feel like I hurt so much that its not fair that he gets to numb...	tropicalrozes	7	578	Aug 20, 2007 by maresie2
	Hope vs hopeless (Preview) Just wanted new ones like me to know and thanks to all of you who have been here for awhile, one thing I found that helped me drag myself out of the hopeless dark, back to some glimmer of hope again. I have been avoiding things, can't get to sleep, if sleep have nighmares that wake me, nap days to avoid, depre...	ddub	3	589	Aug 20, 2007 by Jerry F
	Feeling weak, need encouragement (Preview) My AH is on quite a bender. He isn't working on our business, not bathing, not doing much of anything but drinking. His physical health is suffering. By this point in the past I would have blown up at him and we would have it out. He would make all the promises and quickly break them. This time I made a consci...	babysteps	8	602	Aug 20, 2007 by twinkie
	son (Preview) I grew up in chaos and poverty because of booze. Went to Alateen at 14.At 17watched my Dad die at 40 from alcholism. Left soon after to get away from drunken widow /mother. Drank myself into a bottom by 30. Got AA,sober 26 years,bigshot old timer. My 17 year old ,drank / drove into a guard rail... I pu...	EdwardNotEddie	12	708	Aug 20, 2007 by Jen
	frustrated with functioning alcoholic (Preview) ok, so I am confused and spinning thoughts. I'll just vent and hope some one can make head or tails of this! I am frustrated so it's a type of anger about hope, trust and/or feeling like a fool. alanon encourages work on yourself and learn all you can about alcoholism so trying to be hopeful and/or conc...	ddub	5	1141	Aug 20, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	SOO HAPPY (Preview) HeHe I finally got back in here FOr the longest time it would not let me sign in for some reason Miss you guys love youuuuu xoxo	Lauren ashley	7	469	Aug 20, 2007 by Lauren ashley
	Sad but relieved (Preview) Well, my A friend is in the rehab/psych hospital. The police went to his house last night and carried out the warrant. When I talked with him (he called me to take him some clothes), he was telling me what the doctors talked to him about, and how he replied. Not being cooperative and refusing to take th...	mhgal	3	481	Aug 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	does not compute...does not compute...does not compute... (Preview) This makes no sense at all. AGAIN. After I had chilled about my A driving the other day, after we discussed it again yesterday, after him saying "it was a rash decision that I shouldn't have made" (sigh...I've heard THAT so many times since he's been sober that I really don't believe a word...	lmt123	8	483	Aug 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	HELP< CANT GET IN CHAT??? (Preview) Hi mip family, I'm trying to get in chat and it says im banned???? Somebody made a mistake cuz I promise I am a good girl lol, didn't do anything wrong, please help me get back in. Thanks SERENITY62	serenity62	1	436	Aug 20, 2007 by Maria123
	Some closure... (Preview) Hello I've been doing quite a bit of thinking back recently about what I've been through in the last couple of years or so. A quick recap of my experience... I was married for 16 years... about 10 of them were good. In the last several years, my husband started drinking more and more and also started usin...	artygirl	4	311	Aug 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	(((EVERYONE))) (Preview) (((EVERYONE))) Thanks so much for all your responses!!! It's so nice to have the feedback. Speaking to my friends and family about of this is so hard. They try so hard to help, but all that does is get me upset. They just don't get it. I'm still trying to get it in in their heads that there is nothing ANY of us...	sgraingermk	5	273	Aug 19, 2007 by anjie
	Need to let it out! (Preview) Ok so not even a week since the last incident with my AH husband, he drank again last night.(He had said he was quitting!! Blah Blah blah! But I'm Ok with that. I didn't get upset, Just told him That I'm not stupid (He tried to cover it with gum) You don't have to hide it. Than I went back to bed. NO arguing! I...	sgraingermk	10	522	Aug 19, 2007 by CJ
	help...feeling guilty this morning (Preview) Last night my son was here (allowed him to visit with his daughter) and I new the moment he walked through the door something was wrong. But this has been on going for over 17 years and I don't have the energy to even WANT to know anymore. I'm so, so tired. Turns out later in the night he started crying and sai...	sonja ja	13	608	Aug 19, 2007 by CJ
	Reply (Preview) To all who posted back to my depressed entry...THANKYOU. I realize over and over what an important place this is for me to be and this time I hope to make it a regular part of my healing. I gain so much through all your ESH.....most of all this time , hearing those of you that mentioned this was a time to reall...	Fifi	3	316	Aug 19, 2007 by CJ
	honest? circular thinking (Preview) This place is my life line between meetings once a week. I have gone to only 6 mtgs and it really helps me to see there is another way to do this but I don't get how yet. That's ok tho' as reading your posts lets me know, I will get it. The slogans have already helped me a lot to stay calm and I keep understand...	ddub	3	362	Aug 19, 2007 by ddub
	Best of intentions, not good enough anymore (Preview) ______________________________________________________________	Mandy123	6	482	Aug 19, 2007 by marmare
	Conversation w/ my son.... Is the grass greener (Preview) Apologies for those who read my post on another board....but I thought it was cool and wanted to share. I took my son to his first Major League baseball game this week on Monday. He's been to minor league games but never the grandour of a MLB game. One of the things he asked me about was the designs on the gra...	bobump	9	551	Aug 18, 2007 by emma
	How much are you willing to take? (Preview) What would you do if you knew that there was a Force in the Universe bigger than you are, and bigger than the A's, that ALWAYS equals out any injustice, that ALWAYS balances out the books, that ALWAYS creates what other people bring out and bring upon themselves? What would you do if you didn't have to w...	Christy	8	578	Aug 18, 2007 by bobump
	oh oh...starting to obsess... (Preview) Starting to obsess about the A and what he should do and how is mother should act. Stuck up in my head the past few days...grrrrr.... Had been doing so well staying detached, focusing on me and moving on with my life. Where did this come from? It is early recovery for him, I've been in a program for a year...	twinkie	4	666	Aug 18, 2007 by Jerry F
	Diabetes, insulin dependent? (Preview) Has anyone got any experience about this and mood swings with a recovering alchoholic. Someone told me that when they stop drinking the body craves sugar in a different form, my husband never had a sweet tooth when he actively drank, but he's mad for cakes and all things sugar loaded now and fatty me...	Katy	5	700	Aug 18, 2007 by abbyal
	Are drunks al-anons also???????? (Preview) This is my first posting here, and I wanted to pose a question. I know alcholics have common charteristics, but do you think that al-anons do also. And do you think that alcholics can have the same charteristics as alanons? You see I have been a recovering alcholic for 19yrs, and grew up in a terribly al...	Dale	13	713	Aug 18, 2007 by bobump
	Sometimes I cannot help but wonder.... (Preview) Having a child who is addicted must be the most awful situation a parent can face. Intimating or suggesting that a suffering parent allow his/her child to fall into the gutter goes against every principle I believe in and hold dear. Detachment is a concept that, like most others, is relative. I am r...	Diva	18	678	Aug 18, 2007 by mel123
	Here's a new one I was told tonight.... (Preview) I had a phone conversation with ah tonight (he was sober). He's been four hours away at his job for eight months. He got the job so that we wouldn't lose the house. I figured after he established that he would do what it took to get us together. Well.....he never did anything. He lives in a trailor with two g...	Friendofyours	5	538	Aug 18, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.