The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, Okay, now where to go from here. Seems to be a problem i have. Never knowing where to start or what to say. i have been, as has been said, "lurking" around here for a long time. Not very new to Alanon, but all the same it stll feels very new to me. Maybe some basics to start off with. Grew up in an alcoholic home. Married an alcoholic/addict two days after i graduated from high school, a man that i have now known for over half my life. We met when i was sixteen. We are no longer together. i have two sons, 22 and 18. This is all so difficult for me. i go to f2f meetings but have had a very hard time sharing anything. i know i have to start somewhere and thought this might be a good place to practice. i have seen over and over again the acceptance and support given on this board and it is overwhelming to me. i see it in the meetings i attend and again it is something that is different for me. i have read from here late at night when i can't sleep and when i can't stop all the stuff going on in my head and it has been very helpful. A way to find relief. i don't know how to show my appreciation for all of you except to say thanks for being here. i am not alone.
Welcome! You are not alone. Al-Anon is a gift you deserve, keep coming and keep going to your face to face. Little by little, you will learn to help yourself through this program and its wonderful members.
HI B. welcome. yes it follows us even when they are gone huh?
My A has been totally out of my life for a year now. Is very ok. Though I love him and miss him.
To help you, maybe I can ask question for you? What about your life do you want to be different? would you like to share your experience with your A family and AH?
How are your kids doing? What are you doing? working? gardening? What do you do for you that makes you happy? We already care about you very much. I mean that. We are like sisters and brothers here. we know your pain, sadness, horrendous loneliness.
I too loved my AH since I was 17 I am 54 now. So I am sure we have lots we can relate about.
Welcome, make sure ya bookmark MIP in your favorites. Keep coming back!! We need you also! love,debilyn
Just wanted to say welcome, and keep coming back. Sharing just takes practice. Start with little stuff. You'll get the hang of it.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Hi B!! Welcome to our little corner of Alanon heaven :D
I too could not speak at first in meetings. And when I did I thought it came out sounding all disorganized and stupid. Even though the others in the room were nodding their heads and smiling at me :D . It was like my throat was blocked.
I found Big Book or Step Alanon meetings very helpful, as we had to speak on a topic. It helped me feel more secure. What I was really afraid of, when I could not speak up, was that once I DID speak up, it would ALL come out and I would be on the floor like an empty sack. I was tremendously ashamed for just being alive.
What broke through for me was the joy and laughter shared in Alanon, and there's plenty of it here too. Like Deb said, we need you too, you are already one of us, perfectly accepted and loved exactly as you are.
And I'd love to hear more about you, your family and what you hope to get by joining Alanon. Do tell :D !
Hello B and welcome , I assume u don't have a sponsor yet ,please start looking around your meetings for someone u can relate to some ome who has been in our prog for awhile and goes to meetings , and I understand your not sharring in meetings after living with alcoholism and never being listened to or if they do listen they tell us were wrong and stupid , but your not talking to alcoholics in our meetings your talking to people who understand you and have been where your at , take a chance and share whats gong on with you , they can't help if they don't know where your comming from . There will be someone in that room that has been where your at and will help u thru it . you don't have to do anything alone again . keep comming here going to your meetings and you will be just fine . Louise
Glad you found the board. Great that you are going to meetings. I agree with the comment alanon is a gift we give ourselves. There comes a time when we do recognize that we too are worth it. One of the best suggestions I was ever given was to take it easy on myself.
We here as well as in f2f meetings are all brothers and sisters. We do understand. No need to worry that when you do share that you will be judged. We've all been there and do know how difficult it is to share in the beginning. For me sharing is a way to let go of those secrets that hurt so darn much. When you are ready you will.
Thank you all for the warm welcome. It means a lot to me. One of the things i am finding out is that it does follow you. Good question on what i want different in my life. i guess the answer is many things. Just figuring out what those are, for one my relationships, for the world not to be such a scarey place. i know that my life isn't working the way it is. Beginning to understand just how much my life and those that are important to me are affected. i would like to be able to share some of my experiences and gain strength and hope from all of you, but there is so much shame that gets in the way. At times it seems almost impossible There are so many secrets i have had to keep and so much pain that i don't even know where to begin. i like the suggestion to start small and maybe that is what i can do. i am inbetween jobs at this time. It seems i find jobs where there is much dysfunction and stick with it until it becomes intolerable, quit and then find another one just like it or worse. This time i am going to try to do something different, not just take the first thing that comes along. That in itself is difficult as i need to be working to be able to live. Many financial problems for me. My kids are a whole different story. i don't know how they are doing neither one will have anything to do with me since i split with their dad. i miss them very much and my heart breaks a little more each day. There is alot of shame i carry for that alone. i don't do much for myself, my life was my AH and my boys and now they are gome. i have to change the subject or i will not be able to go on. What Kim says rings true for me as far as sharing, saying too much and then having nothing left. Being so ashamed to be alive is something i can relate to. Along with that is not wanting to cry. Not knowing if once i get started i'll ever be able to stop. Sounds stupid, i know, but it is there. i am looking for a sponsor and think i may have found one, but it's the asking part that trips me up. It's late and i think i need to try to get some sleep, didn't intend on making this so long. Just wanted to say how much your welcome and encouragement is appreciated. i think i have truly found a home.
