The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Two months ago, my mom's schnauzer died rapidly from cancer at only 8. He was my favorite dog of hers, a true care-taker, never wanting to fight but only keep peace. Still greiving from this, last Sunday... it had to be 105* in Houston. The A was cleaning out the big truck, closed the doors & went back inside.
Thirty minutes later, my mother & the A were looking around the house, the street, only for my mom to open the car & find the 2 yr old dog already in rigormortis (however it's sp).
My mother couldn't even tell me for a few days ~ I am so sad & horrified. I just kept saying how bad the A is now, and if we can't treat them like 'children', let's take Cesar Milan's approach to dogs & give them boundaries, rules, limitations.
The A is obviously incapab;le of taking care of a house plant. I am so furious & disgusted & realized how little forgiveness work I've actually done deep down inside regarding the A, how he's cheated on my mom for 25 yrs & essentially ruined our lives.
So in missing both male dogs (the 2 female schnauzers are just so lost & confused) I heard myself think, 'what he's done is unforgivable' ~ so I'm not passed my step-father's infidelity (the A) and now murderer is added to the list. I always thought I was pretty good at forgiveness, working on it diligently. I am unable to get passed much regarding the A... I'm crying typing this, to admit I don't forgive him or what he did was unforgivable... .
I'd like to think I could get passed this pain & anger, right now I feel like I have no program, realizing I haven't really forgiven him at all. It is heart breaking & seems to never end. I'm so hurt & tired - I feel like giving up, I can't keep taking all of this pain.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Oh dear, how horrible. It's hard enough to lose any animal, but worse if it is such a senseless way.
I think I might be missing something though - did he know the dog was in the truck?
I ask this because I myself almost killed our cat - it was minus 35 degrees out, and when I was out in the unheated garage, she slipped in without me noticing her. I locked the door and went back into the house, only started looking for her after about half an hour, to give her her shot. If I hadn't had to find her, the chances would have been good that I wouldn't have noticed she was missing until morning, and there is no way she would have survived a night out there. Some things are just accidents, though of course carelessness does contribute to them.
Both my dogs were living in a truck for 2 months. The A had no concept it was cruel. Then I paid a fortune for them to live somewhere else. I spent a lot of money to help out because I just could not bear the idea of the animals suffering. The A did not lift a finger to find any alternative I had to do all the work. Then he complained about every single thing and proceeded to wreck that arrangement (of course it is all my fault isn't everything?). The guy there started beating on my dog...talk about one disaster to another I eventually have had to take the dog myself. i am so glad I did. She's calm and happy now and at peace although she misses her companion which the A still has.
I feared daily that the A would kill the dogs with his actions. The last one was he crashed the truck and the dogs ran off in terror. It is never ending. He currently has one of the dogs that we owned together. he feels her anxiety is a form of love for him.
I do feel for you. I felt so certain the A would destroy the dogs. I am so relieved to have one of them with me. I do think their denial gets worse as the disease progresses.
I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost a dog due to my AH's carelessness. I had a deer hound that I adopted from the pound when my son was 4 years old. She was my sweetheart. She was the typical hound too. As soon as she got outside, her nose hit the ground and her feet carried her where ever the scent went. My AH constantly let her outside w/out her leash saying she was a dog and needed to run. Problem was, she would follow a scent and disappear so you couldn't really do that. I was always fussing w/him b/c I worried she would disappear one day and not turn back up. Well sure enough this happened. He let her out one day to run while I was at the grocery store. He was outside working in the yard. When I got home, I was looking for her all over the house and couldn't find her. He just kept saying she is around and will turn up eventually. She never did. I wandered the surrounding woods that night praying I'd find her. My son and I (w/my 3 year old daughter strapped on me w/a toddler carrier) took off through the woods the next day on our 4wheelers looking for her. We never found her. A year later, my son found the remains of a dog in the woods and assumes it was her. It had a collar on that looked much like hers. She hadn't been far from the house and had probably gotten hurt some how and couldn't get back on her own. I have nightmares about how she probably laid there in the woods suffering and dying by herself, hearing out calls for her but couldn't call back out to us or get to us. It just breaks my heart. All b/c my AH wanted to let her run and not pay attn to her while he drank his beer and worked in the yard. My daughter still cries uncontrollably over the loss.
So I completely understand your grief. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that your pain will ease soon.
It's always in the news how woman are leaving their kids in the car to find them passed away. I could understand how a dog could slip passed an eye. Even though it's very sad and horrible, it sounds like an honest mistake. We have to be very careful in the heat here (In Florida) it's very easy to get heat stroke. Sorry for your losses. Take it one day at a time. mwah ((((HUGS)))))
(((kitty)) is so good to see you post. i didnt get the opportunity to talk with ya in chat the other day... i apologize. i didnt realize you needed to talk. please keep coming back. i'm so sorry for your loss of the dogs. it always hurts to let go of the wonderufl lil' loves (animals) when they do go on up into the heavens to wait for us there. i pray you are able to forgive the incident (in time) and move on. your in my thoughts and prayers. take care of You. lots of huggggs.
Oh Kitty I was just thinking about you and then I saw your post. Am sending hugs from Australia for you. I am an animal lover, I hope he too loved that dog and is feeling like s..t right now. Surrender to Hp and read the serenity prayer it will help. Luv Leo xx
I am new here. I am filled with anger. Bear with me. Please.
I understand how hurt and sorrowful you must be feeling. I have 2 small dogs that I adore. They are a big part of helping me keep my sanity right now. If my A caused one of their deaths I would never be able to forgive him that. I know that about myself. Actually I would most likely be arrested shortly after that because I would do physical harm to him. **head down**I'm not a very good person.
The reason beyond all my blather for responding is to offer my sorrow for the loss. I hurt just thinking about it.
