Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A is back in jail.Heard through his brother. While he cannot call me as I don't have a landline, he could call me 3 way which he hasn't. His friend did call me once hinting about money. I made it clear that was not an option for me. I also spoke to him once for a half a second when I ASK to talk to him when...

maresie · maresie

I signed up for unemployment today. That will be enough to pay my bills. I am going to try to put some time into going to meetings which I can't do when I am working all the hours there are. I am also going to put some time into trying to get my space ok. I am really really tired to the bone so I am also going to...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hey Friends in Alanon! I need some input on my mom being at all the Alanon meetings I go to. I cannot feel free to share my issues when my mom is right there. Once a month I am able to go to a meeting outside our area 60 miles away and I don't drive! I am not sure what to do to share my ESH with someone except on this...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I hope I can be really really clear about this, speak from where I'm at, and share my experience/strength/hope only. I'm also hoping that by sharing, I'm not going to open myself up to mean commentaries, and instead be able to share with all of you how things are, god knows how slowly, getting better....

meagain · meagain

We just got back from a 6 day holiday and my sister called and asked me to call her back. She told me that my brother Jack (52) has been sick and they found a golf size mass in his kidney--apparently with the tests so far they think it is cancer. His wife died 17 years ago at age 24 of bone cancer. We have had 5 ma...

glad lee · glad lee

Dear Family, I need to vent... I am not happy where I am today. Before I came to al-anon, I believed that I could never get myself out of my painful marriage. I believed that I could never make it (financially or otherwise) without him. I was in a deep depression, yet still not sure what was wrong....

QOD · QOD

My ex came over last night to "collect" things he has given me over the years. He took the digital camera he gave me a year ago for Xmas, the laptop computer he gave me AND the kids last spring, 3 diamond rings, my wedding band and my .38 Special he gave me 12 years ago when we moved into our very 1s...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I can't count how many times I have posted on this topic. And yet here again, I'm getting that feeling of desperation! I have been alone for 18 months now, still no good friends, no men and I am feeling really needy lately. I am seriously considering actually almost planning to go pick up some guy at a b...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Tomorrow is day 3 after my AH tried the abandonment game and I didn't play. I let him walk. And then wouldn't let him come back. It's very quiet today with no contact after his pleading yesterday, now he's trying the "silence, she'll think I've suicided and panic after a few days"... As this...

wpb70 · wpb70

Hello. Tonight, I am worried sick about my older sister, who is an A that was in recovery. She has been fighting a long and hard battle with her addiction to alcohol and drugs and was doing very well for some time. I believe she was sober for about 5 months prior to her first relapse. Since Christmas, she...

maresie · maresie

My assignment has come to an end. I am looking for another job in earnest. Please pray I get something soon. I need health benefits, a nice environment, no more crazy bosses and an easy commute. I need a life that isn't so hard! Maresie.

kissers · kissers

I went to the store during lunch today. I was in the shampoo aisle looking for conditioner. There was a couple to my right looking for shampoo and conditioner also. The wife said she was going to buy Suave conditioner. My big mouth opened and I proceeded to tell her that, that conditioner has a tendency t...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...the pain I am experiencing in my recovery journey needs to be looked at in much the same way as post surgical pain. One has surgery and there is pain afterwards, but one knows that that pain will stop as healing takes place. Okay, so that is what I have to do now, instead of fighting against the pain of...

dekare · dekare

Making a long story short... My best friend and I spent a lot of time together in the 80's having a great time partying. We were both in our 20's at that time. He was always the life of the party, but as time went by I started to notice changes in him. He went from being the life of the party to becoming mean whe...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone. --Carlos Castaneda

Patrick34 · Patrick34

I am a 29 year man and my mother is an alcoholic. .......She has been for as long as can remember. My father has always had the best intentions for me and my 3 brothers. Growing up was rough though. It has always been the big secret.... She was "sick" or "had a headache" b...

Jen10 · Jen10

Hello Everyone, As stated, I am new to al-anon and I went to the end of an online meeting yesterday. So, I didn't get the full effect of the meetings. I would like to know more about this group and the 12 steps and what we are suppose to do. I am not an addict but my boyfriend is a recovering addict and al-anon I...

blb · blb

Hello - I posted a couple of days ago about my brother, who is currently in a brief addiction/behavior program as a result of a second DUI and his threat to harm himself. I talked to him last night and he's remorseful and said he never plans to drink again (yeah, yeah, I know...), wants to stop hanging arou...

Codependent · Codependent

Many people posted a while back for me to stop being so hard on myself, but it seems that I keep doing and saying things that make me feel guilty.. Isn't that guilty earned when one continues to repeatedly do things they know are "wrong" or that are going to make them feel bad about themselves...

QOD · QOD

Things had been going so well for me. My relationship with my ex had been going so smooth. I was in denial though. I knew deep down that he still had plans of us getting back together....and that all got thrown on the table last night. A guy friend of mine invited me and the kids over for his superbowl coo...

marmare · marmare

Over this past weekend there was an incident that I had to face. Although things have been so different with my A, he is in a controlled drinking state. Has been for the last year. He crossed the line and was extremely intoxicated at home while we had company. He hasn't done cocaine in about a year whi...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

I am a grateful member of Alanon. Without the understanding and support from this program and its members I would be back on the merry-go-round again. Thanks for the lovely replies guys... I'm never alone in what I experience. During that latest episode --3 weeks of withdrawal, avoidance and drunke...

flgirl925 · flgirl925

My husband has been sober for 4 years until today. We have a 2 year old son and he was home with him for 5 hours today while I worked out of town. I got a call on my way home from my husband who was crying and obviously very drunk. Issue number one is drinking around our son, issue two is his drinking. My react...

debilyn · debilyn

Hi, this is sort of a vent. Over the years here I have gotten many pm's about this subject. When one has a sponsor, or sponsors from our MIP family, this is a common problem. The sponsor all of a sudden stops corresponding to the person they sponsor. Many times with no explanation. Sometimes just staying...

Loupiness · Loupiness

accidentally posted a pm here. Can't figure out how to delete completely. Oops, live and learn, huh? Lou -- Edited by Loupiness at 21:20, 2008-02-03

Jena · Jena

Hello I'm new to this site and I'm not sure how it works but I need some advise. I'm an adult child. It started with my father and I have very little contact with him currently and this has been the case for a very long time. Not my choice. I would love to have a father. I'm 42 years old and my entire life I have be...

Rigby · Rigby

Okay, this is my first time on this site because this past month has been my first run in with an alcoholic. My father in law, Frank, moved in with us at the beginning of September. The reason we invited him to live with us is because he was suffering from falls, he told us his knees were bad, and we could te...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Do I really want to live with someone who doesn't talk and says they have nothing to say but then goes to a friends house gets on the booze and flaps his mouth off until he's off his face?? NO I DON'T!!! I have had two weeks of silent treatment for no reason, I am sick of this and alcoholic behavours for 13 ye...

blb · blb

This is my first time visiting the site. I'm the brother of an alcoholic who has been struggling for the past 8 years (since age 16). Without telling his life story, there have been very troubling times. When he drinks, he gets violent, sees no point in living, etc. It's literally been a rollercoaster t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hey! I am so grateful and humbled by this site! I can see so much growth--even in myself! I have a better life than I have ever had before! So, on I go and help others find what I have found in Al-anon for 22 years! Finally, I am getting it! And, it is all because of people like you in Al-anon. My marriage has su...

glad · glad

I have come to realize I need a life outside of trying to "fix" the one I have so at 41 living near a big city (Dallas) I need some good clean suggestions of ways to have fun and meet people, mostly women since I am in a committed relationship but just have no social life of my own. Like most here my...

omajoy · omajoy

On Friday nights I start getting anxious. By early Saturday morning I am a wreck. I sit waiting for interactions from son or EXDIL. Today I tried to get ahead of the game. I called to set up a Sunday with grandbaby. She said fine. I am now taking the child to his dad's apartment rather than waiting for hi...

debilyn · debilyn

I cannot get ahold of Kim65. Am very very concerned. Have emailed and called for two months now. We were emailing about every day. I leave messages.She has many animals to care for.Plus lives way up in the boonies. Her A is not a safe man. I don't believe I ever got her address.Am about to do a major search...

round3 · round3

It's been nearly two months since my A cut off our (long distance) relationship to get his head in the program. At about the same time, I broke off ties with my (long distance) father (and he with me)....... but that's another story. In these past two months, I've spent a lot of time in introspection an...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY GROUNDHOG'S DAY! I'm hoping Pauxatawney Piper sees her shadow and we have 6 more weeks of winter. Yes, I'm one of those wierdos who loves the winter. It's been a pretty mild one and I haven't been able to go out snowshoeing o...

Maria123 · Maria123

"Of all the things I've lost in life (my keys, my coat, my purse, you name it), it's my mind I miss the most" :biggin: I may have posted this before but it saddens me to see wonderful people here doubting themselves, mistrusting their judgement over and over again so I guess it bears repeating...

lin0606 · lin0606

Does anybody have a copy of the "Three views of alanon" pamphlet handy? I'm looking for the bit in "Letter from the alcoholic" that talks about love not being able to exist without justice. Just need to those few sentences.

Antigua · Antigua

This is my first time visiting this forum. I have been concerned about my husband's drinking for quite some time now. My husband and I have had many discussions about his drinking and he promises me that he doesn't have a problem. However, this afternoon I found an empy bottle of vodka in his closet a...

maresie · maresie

I live in a house with people who are pretty enmeshed and codependent with each other. Now two of the most dysfunctional people are leaving and I find one of my housemates still totally obsessed. I know she is up to her eyes in stuff that she is not dealing with. i think one of the reasons I find it very unc...

ddub · ddub

I am not sure but I am more angry with myself for not being able to move on and do anything. I fight so hard against feeling crazy and sometimes it almost feels easier to just ride the slide into the darkness. I don't have much fight left in me anymore and a lot of my problem is me probably. Everything about...

barisax · barisax

.... about our A, about our life, about our job, about our situation, about ourselves? I am great at being sarcastic. It can be funny, but I think it's deep down a form of denial. I see sarcasm to some degree in most of what I say. Especially when I talk about alcoholic behavior. It's a putdown of cours...

Codependent · Codependent

I know in my case my A seems to think I am inferior to him because I still care about him so much when he illustrates so clearly how little he is able to care for me. I've read other posts where this is talked about. Do you think this is true just for A's or do you think all people see others who unconditionall...

glad · glad

Again, new to the program so please bear with me. Is there a "program" way of dealing with the way my AH (and his whole family) use abandonment/ leaving as a tool. Quick examples: If I push my AH for emotional closeness he either leaves or starts acting like he will-bags by the door, in truck et...

kissers · kissers

My ex A begged for me to take him back. I told him I thought he had a drinking problem and he disagreed. I knew he would, but that is really not the point. It wasn't so much the drinking that bothered me. It was the name calling, put downs, expecting me to do all the work, blaming me, ignoring me. I have friends...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Thank you to everyone who set me on my feet again and supported me through my fear. ((((((((((((xxxxxxxxxxxxxx)))))))))))) I have been looking for something to say that would absolutely express the gratitude I have felt and the love that has been wrapped around me and the prayers that have been offe...

david62 · david62

(((((Family))))) This Sunday was to have been the day for our next monthly business meeting in the chat room. However! This also happens to be Superbowl Sunday..!! I will be unavailable to chair the business meeting because of this and so I am rescheduling the Feb Business meeting for the following...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...in the chaos and ashes of despair a Pheonix has risen, and this in itself has caused me to stop and celebrate a new day, a new dawn, and a new understanding of ME as I am TODAY. Whilst sitting in my study preparing for my time of daily contemplation and prayer, I wrote three words down on my note pad: Insan...

glad · glad

For me I don't battle the "partying". I battle emotional distance during drinking and when he's not, more when he is. When I try to talk to him he sometimes makes jokes about women vs. men and emotional connection but it's so much more than the normal issues like that. How much of my wants are...

glad · glad

I am so new to even trying to figure lots of things out. When I read about how some people had detached from their spouse I really thought it was wrong. Till death do us part, love unconditionally etc. Well I almost lost my mind this week. I have really bad migraines... like almost deadly feeling. Doctor...

bcanuck · bcanuck

Hi all, I've been away for too long, funny how you get so busy living your life and caring for others you forget about yourself. I have a question with regard to detatchment. I have become so "detatched" that I feel I have closed myself off not only to my A hubby, but to the rest of my family and fr...

Alicia · Alicia

Would you be willing to share your experiences with a recovering alcoholic and distrust? To say I am feeling cautious, might be understating my feelings. I'm not sure he is ready to hear the full truth of my feelings. Now that he has chosen to turn back to his HP for assistance and turn back to our marr...

tma0413 · tma0413

I am struggling today....AH had made a new years resolution to slow down on his drinking (his choice)...OK...so that was a month ago and Yeah, he has slowed way down...but there has still been the nights (at least 1-2 a week) where he is annoyingly drunk. Not fall down drunk, but enough to annoy me (usu...

maresie · maresie

Just a big big big thank you for all your prayers and well wishes. I went to bed last night at 8:00 p.m. I slept straight through till 4:00 a.m. I felt rested and the stress attack was over. I am back on track with a phone interview this afternoon. I have a in person interview tomorrow. I am just going to k...

serendipity · serendipity

What is the oppisite of being compassionate? I believe I am being Un-compassionate as a coping mechanism. I feel like I am trying to stay frozen all the time so that I don't have to feel the pain or anymore pain than I have already felt. I feel like I am turning into a loveless person. I don't want to be this...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My A got out of jail about 2 weeks ago and went into a recovery house. Now he's in an apartment with a guy he is working for. He has a job, a home and says he is going to meetings, etc. My agenda was to file for divorce while he was in jail so I can have it go cheaply and smoothly without a custody/visitation fig...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

Dear Family, I feel that my job may be in jeopardy. This is scaring me to death. I work in a chain drug store as a pharmacist. Each store has 2 pharmacists. My former partner was promoted, and has now become my supervisor. When she was my partner, we had some disagreements and she ended up being transferr...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...however before I say anything further, I want to thank all of you who responded to me, one way or another, on my last post. I have appreciated every word that you have communicated to me. I have spent hours reading and rereading and contemplating each word, the hard facts, the questions, the truth...

maresie · maresie

One reason I find myself so stressed out is that I can now see fully in technicolor how easiy I fall into the role of victim super martyr. I found myself wanting to go into work early and rescue everyone and be "liked" because I feel like a fish out of water being assertive and focused on my job se...

maresie · maresie

For a number of reasons, my health, my income, my home, my lack of support, my job, my commute, my health my stress level is now completely off the charts. I would ask for prayers from you all. I am so absolutely totally wiped out. Maresie

Codependent · Codependent

I think I have mentioned before that I have used with my A. I never had before prior to our relationship. However, I have also used some periodically without him- alot of my feelings involving my guilt with using I believe is also associated with my anxiety over using with him. Anyway, when we had our...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Jail (Preview) Well, the A is back in jail.Heard through his brother. While he cannot call me as I don't have a landline, he could call me 3 way which he hasn't. His friend did call me once hinting about money. I made it clear that was not an option for me. I also spoke to him once for a half a second when I ASK to talk to him when...	Codependent	9	734	Feb 7, 2008 by Codependent
	new chapter (Preview) I signed up for unemployment today. That will be enough to pay my bills. I am going to try to put some time into going to meetings which I can't do when I am working all the hours there are. I am also going to put some time into trying to get my space ok. I am really really tired to the bone so I am also going to...	maresie	3	431	Feb 6, 2008 by maresie
	MOMS IN ALANON (Preview) Hey Friends in Alanon! I need some input on my mom being at all the Alanon meetings I go to. I cannot feel free to share my issues when my mom is right there. Once a month I am able to go to a meeting outside our area 60 miles away and I don't drive! I am not sure what to do to share my ESH with someone except on this...	Hoot Nanny	5	585	Feb 7, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	When sick people make amends (Preview) I hope I can be really really clear about this, speak from where I'm at, and share my experience/strength/hope only. I'm also hoping that by sharing, I'm not going to open myself up to mean commentaries, and instead be able to share with all of you how things are, god knows how slowly, getting better....	Tiger2006	5	557	Feb 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	Prayers needed ASAp (Preview) We just got back from a 6 day holiday and my sister called and asked me to call her back. She told me that my brother Jack (52) has been sick and they found a golf size mass in his kidney--apparently with the tests so far they think it is cancer. His wife died 17 years ago at age 24 of bone cancer. We have had 5 ma...	meagain	13	445	Feb 6, 2008 by cookie1971
	Relapsing... (Preview) Dear Family, I need to vent... I am not happy where I am today. Before I came to al-anon, I believed that I could never get myself out of my painful marriage. I believed that I could never make it (financially or otherwise) without him. I was in a deep depression, yet still not sure what was wrong....	glad lee	8	386	Feb 7, 2008 by glad lee
	Ex came over last night - not pretty! (Preview) My ex came over last night to "collect" things he has given me over the years. He took the digital camera he gave me a year ago for Xmas, the laptop computer he gave me AND the kids last spring, 3 diamond rings, my wedding band and my .38 Special he gave me 12 years ago when we moved into our very 1s...	QOD	12	620	Feb 6, 2008 by Becky1
	Tired of being alone! (Preview) I can't count how many times I have posted on this topic. And yet here again, I'm getting that feeling of desperation! I have been alone for 18 months now, still no good friends, no men and I am feeling really needy lately. I am seriously considering actually almost planning to go pick up some guy at a b...	carolinagirl	18	587	Feb 8, 2008 by round3
	the lull before the storm? (Preview) Tomorrow is day 3 after my AH tried the abandonment game and I didn't play. I let him walk. And then wouldn't let him come back. It's very quiet today with no contact after his pleading yesterday, now he's trying the "silence, she'll think I've suicided and panic after a few days"... As this...	silverbrumby	5	498	Feb 6, 2008 by Kerbear
	In Need of Advice --How Best Can I Help My A Sister? (Preview) Hello. Tonight, I am worried sick about my older sister, who is an A that was in recovery. She has been fighting a long and hard battle with her addiction to alcohol and drugs and was doing very well for some time. I believe she was sober for about 5 months prior to her first relapse. Since Christmas, she...	wpb70	5	497	Feb 5, 2008 by wpb70
	one door opens another close s (Preview) My assignment has come to an end. I am looking for another job in earnest. Please pray I get something soon. I need health benefits, a nice environment, no more crazy bosses and an easy commute. I need a life that isn't so hard! Maresie.	maresie	5	446	Feb 5, 2008 by maresie
	HP has hilarious humor! (Preview) I went to the store during lunch today. I was in the shampoo aisle looking for conditioner. There was a couple to my right looking for shampoo and conditioner also. The wife said she was going to buy Suave conditioner. My big mouth opened and I proceeded to tell her that, that conditioner has a tendency t...	kissers	11	620	Feb 5, 2008 by Maria123
	Trying to look at pain from a different perspective... (Preview) ...the pain I am experiencing in my recovery journey needs to be looked at in much the same way as post surgical pain. One has surgery and there is pain afterwards, but one knows that that pain will stop as healing takes place. Okay, so that is what I have to do now, instead of fighting against the pain of...	Heartbroken	8	799	Feb 5, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Help me understand this... (Preview) Making a long story short... My best friend and I spent a lot of time together in the 80's having a great time partying. We were both in our 20's at that time. He was always the life of the party, but as time went by I started to notice changes in him. He went from being the life of the party to becoming mean whe...	dekare	8	858	Feb 6, 2008 by Denoraphy
	I love this quote! (Preview) Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone. --Carlos Castaneda	Jean4444	1	409	Feb 5, 2008 by Jerry F
	My Mother....... (Preview) I am a 29 year man and my mother is an alcoholic. .......She has been for as long as can remember. My father has always had the best intentions for me and my 3 brothers. Growing up was rough though. It has always been the big secret.... She was "sick" or "had a headache" b...	Patrick34	8	352	Feb 9, 2008 by Maria123
	New to Al-anon (Preview) Hello Everyone, As stated, I am new to al-anon and I went to the end of an online meeting yesterday. So, I didn't get the full effect of the meetings. I would like to know more about this group and the 12 steps and what we are suppose to do. I am not an addict but my boyfriend is a recovering addict and al-anon I...	Jen10	6	560	Feb 5, 2008 by Jerry F
	Next Step? (Preview) Hello - I posted a couple of days ago about my brother, who is currently in a brief addiction/behavior program as a result of a second DUI and his threat to harm himself. I talked to him last night and he's remorseful and said he never plans to drink again (yeah, yeah, I know...), wants to stop hanging arou...	blb	5	341	Feb 5, 2008 by abbyal
	Forgiving Ourselves (Preview) Many people posted a while back for me to stop being so hard on myself, but it seems that I keep doing and saying things that make me feel guilty.. Isn't that guilty earned when one continues to repeatedly do things they know are "wrong" or that are going to make them feel bad about themselves...	Codependent	5	563	Feb 4, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	My drama begins again!!! (Preview) Things had been going so well for me. My relationship with my ex had been going so smooth. I was in denial though. I knew deep down that he still had plans of us getting back together....and that all got thrown on the table last night. A guy friend of mine invited me and the kids over for his superbowl coo...	QOD	7	513	Feb 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	Reminder to myself..... (Preview) Over this past weekend there was an incident that I had to face. Although things have been so different with my A, he is in a controlled drinking state. Has been for the last year. He crossed the line and was extremely intoxicated at home while we had company. He hasn't done cocaine in about a year whi...	marmare	3	312	Feb 6, 2008 by tma0413
	It's a miracle, HE left!! (Preview) I am a grateful member of Alanon. Without the understanding and support from this program and its members I would be back on the merry-go-round again. Thanks for the lovely replies guys... I'm never alone in what I experience. During that latest episode --3 weeks of withdrawal, avoidance and drunke...	silverbrumby	6	1010	Feb 5, 2008 by canadianguy
	how to discuss this (boundaries.. child involved) (Preview) My husband has been sober for 4 years until today. We have a 2 year old son and he was home with him for 5 hours today while I worked out of town. I got a call on my way home from my husband who was crying and obviously very drunk. Issue number one is drinking around our son, issue two is his drinking. My react...	flgirl925	4	493	Feb 4, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Uncomfortable experiences (Preview) Hi, this is sort of a vent. Over the years here I have gotten many pm's about this subject. When one has a sponsor, or sponsors from our MIP family, this is a common problem. The sponsor all of a sudden stops corresponding to the person they sponsor. Many times with no explanation. Sometimes just staying...	debilyn	1	582	Feb 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	oops! (Preview) accidentally posted a pm here. Can't figure out how to delete completely. Oops, live and learn, huh? Lou -- Edited by Loupiness at 21:20, 2008-02-03	Loupiness	3	462	Feb 4, 2008 by Loupiness
	How to break the cycle? (Preview) Hello I'm new to this site and I'm not sure how it works but I need some advise. I'm an adult child. It started with my father and I have very little contact with him currently and this has been the case for a very long time. Not my choice. I would love to have a father. I'm 42 years old and my entire life I have be...	Jena	6	712	Feb 4, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Advice Very Much Needed (Preview) Okay, this is my first time on this site because this past month has been my first run in with an alcoholic. My father in law, Frank, moved in with us at the beginning of September. The reason we invited him to live with us is because he was suffering from falls, he told us his knees were bad, and we could te...	Rigby	10	607	Feb 4, 2008 by Rigby
	The sound of silence (Preview) Do I really want to live with someone who doesn't talk and says they have nothing to say but then goes to a friends house gets on the booze and flaps his mouth off until he's off his face?? NO I DON'T!!! I have had two weeks of silent treatment for no reason, I am sick of this and alcoholic behavours for 13 ye...	silverbrumby	3	1141	Feb 3, 2008 by Jean4444
	here we go... (Preview) This is my first time visiting the site. I'm the brother of an alcoholic who has been struggling for the past 8 years (since age 16). Without telling his life story, there have been very troubling times. When he drinks, he gets violent, sees no point in living, etc. It's literally been a rollercoaster t...	blb	12	680	Feb 4, 2008 by Tuggboat
	What a life! (Preview) Hey! I am so grateful and humbled by this site! I can see so much growth--even in myself! I have a better life than I have ever had before! So, on I go and help others find what I have found in Al-anon for 22 years! Finally, I am getting it! And, it is all because of people like you in Al-anon. My marriage has su...	Hoot Nanny	7	685	Feb 4, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Suggestions for fun? (Preview) I have come to realize I need a life outside of trying to "fix" the one I have so at 41 living near a big city (Dallas) I need some good clean suggestions of ways to have fun and meet people, mostly women since I am in a committed relationship but just have no social life of my own. Like most here my...	glad	11	436	Feb 2, 2008 by Diva
	the dreaded weekend (Preview) On Friday nights I start getting anxious. By early Saturday morning I am a wreck. I sit waiting for interactions from son or EXDIL. Today I tried to get ahead of the game. I called to set up a Sunday with grandbaby. She said fine. I am now taking the child to his dad's apartment rather than waiting for hi...	omajoy	10	559	Feb 4, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Please send a prayer or a thought or two (Preview) I cannot get ahold of Kim65. Am very very concerned. Have emailed and called for two months now. We were emailing about every day. I leave messages.She has many animals to care for.Plus lives way up in the boonies. Her A is not a safe man. I don't believe I ever got her address.Am about to do a major search...	debilyn	7	678	Feb 4, 2008 by maresie
	Laughter and fun (Preview) It's been nearly two months since my A cut off our (long distance) relationship to get his head in the program. At about the same time, I broke off ties with my (long distance) father (and he with me)....... but that's another story. In these past two months, I've spent a lot of time in introspection an...	round3	9	510	Feb 2, 2008 by round3
	Happy Groundhog's Day! (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY GROUNDHOG'S DAY! I'm hoping Pauxatawney Piper sees her shadow and we have 6 more weeks of winter. Yes, I'm one of those wierdos who loves the winter. It's been a pretty mild one and I haven't been able to go out snowshoeing o...	Karilynn	5	489	Feb 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	Abuse - Verbal, Emotional - you'd be amazed (Preview) "Of all the things I've lost in life (my keys, my coat, my purse, you name it), it's my mind I miss the most" :biggin: I may have posted this before but it saddens me to see wonderful people here doubting themselves, mistrusting their judgement over and over again so I guess it bears repeating...	Maria123	16	10104	May 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Three views of alanon (Preview) Does anybody have a copy of the "Three views of alanon" pamphlet handy? I'm looking for the bit in "Letter from the alcoholic" that talks about love not being able to exist without justice. Just need to those few sentences.	lin0606	9	5266	Feb 2, 2008 by lin0606
	New and Confused (Preview) This is my first time visiting this forum. I have been concerned about my husband's drinking for quite some time now. My husband and I have had many discussions about his drinking and he promises me that he doesn't have a problem. However, this afternoon I found an empy bottle of vodka in his closet a...	Antigua	6	548	Feb 1, 2008 by nmike
	Focusing on another person as a way not to deal with yourself. (Preview) I live in a house with people who are pretty enmeshed and codependent with each other. Now two of the most dysfunctional people are leaving and I find one of my housemates still totally obsessed. I know she is up to her eyes in stuff that she is not dealing with. i think one of the reasons I find it very unc...	maresie	3	490	Feb 4, 2008 by maresie
	irritated (Preview) I am not sure but I am more angry with myself for not being able to move on and do anything. I fight so hard against feeling crazy and sometimes it almost feels easier to just ride the slide into the darkness. I don't have much fight left in me anymore and a lot of my problem is me probably. Everything about...	ddub	6	583	Feb 1, 2008 by Jean4444
	What Would We Say If We Couldn't Be Sarcastic? (Preview) .... about our A, about our life, about our job, about our situation, about ourselves? I am great at being sarcastic. It can be funny, but I think it's deep down a form of denial. I see sarcasm to some degree in most of what I say. Especially when I talk about alcoholic behavior. It's a putdown of cours...	barisax	8	719	Feb 4, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Inferiority (Preview) I know in my case my A seems to think I am inferior to him because I still care about him so much when he illustrates so clearly how little he is able to care for me. I've read other posts where this is talked about. Do you think this is true just for A's or do you think all people see others who unconditionall...	Codependent	5	422	Feb 2, 2008 by lin0606
	Abandonment as a tool? (Preview) Again, new to the program so please bear with me. Is there a "program" way of dealing with the way my AH (and his whole family) use abandonment/ leaving as a tool. Quick examples: If I push my AH for emotional closeness he either leaves or starts acting like he will-bags by the door, in truck et...	glad	6	535	Feb 4, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Letting Go (Preview) My ex A begged for me to take him back. I told him I thought he had a drinking problem and he disagreed. I knew he would, but that is really not the point. It wasn't so much the drinking that bothered me. It was the name calling, put downs, expecting me to do all the work, blaming me, ignoring me. I have friends...	kissers	4	293	Feb 1, 2008 by Maria123
	A HUGE BIG THANK YOU... (Preview) Thank you to everyone who set me on my feet again and supported me through my fear. ((((((((((((xxxxxxxxxxxxxx)))))))))))) I have been looking for something to say that would absolutely express the gratitude I have felt and the love that has been wrapped around me and the prayers that have been offe...	Heartbroken	2	264	Feb 1, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	February Business Meeting (Preview) (((((Family))))) This Sunday was to have been the day for our next monthly business meeting in the chat room. However! This also happens to be Superbowl Sunday..!! I will be unavailable to chair the business meeting because of this and so I am rescheduling the Feb Business meeting for the following...	david62	1	294	Feb 2, 2008 by Karilynn
	Insanity versus Irrationality (Preview) ...in the chaos and ashes of despair a Pheonix has risen, and this in itself has caused me to stop and celebrate a new day, a new dawn, and a new understanding of ME as I am TODAY. Whilst sitting in my study preparing for my time of daily contemplation and prayer, I wrote three words down on my note pad: Insan...	Heartbroken	1	271	Feb 2, 2008 by debilyn
	What is it like for you? (Preview) For me I don't battle the "partying". I battle emotional distance during drinking and when he's not, more when he is. When I try to talk to him he sometimes makes jokes about women vs. men and emotional connection but it's so much more than the normal issues like that. How much of my wants are...	glad	5	469	Feb 1, 2008 by maresie
	Detachment (Preview) I am so new to even trying to figure lots of things out. When I read about how some people had detached from their spouse I really thought it was wrong. Till death do us part, love unconditionally etc. Well I almost lost my mind this week. I have really bad migraines... like almost deadly feeling. Doctor...	glad	5	390	Feb 1, 2008 by cookie1971
	"too" detatched (Preview) Hi all, I've been away for too long, funny how you get so busy living your life and caring for others you forget about yourself. I have a question with regard to detatchment. I have become so "detatched" that I feel I have closed myself off not only to my A hubby, but to the rest of my family and fr...	bcanuck	4	418	Feb 1, 2008 by debilyn
	Please share...recovering alcoholic and distrust (Preview) Would you be willing to share your experiences with a recovering alcoholic and distrust? To say I am feeling cautious, might be understating my feelings. I'm not sure he is ready to hear the full truth of my feelings. Now that he has chosen to turn back to his HP for assistance and turn back to our marr...	Alicia	5	1355	Feb 2, 2008 by debilyn
	Does he not love his family?? (Preview) I am struggling today....AH had made a new years resolution to slow down on his drinking (his choice)...OK...so that was a month ago and Yeah, he has slowed way down...but there has still been the nights (at least 1-2 a week) where he is annoyingly drunk. Not fall down drunk, but enough to annoy me (usu...	tma0413	10	676	Feb 1, 2008 by Pugluver
	more on stress overload (Preview) Just a big big big thank you for all your prayers and well wishes. I went to bed last night at 8:00 p.m. I slept straight through till 4:00 a.m. I felt rested and the stress attack was over. I am back on track with a phone interview this afternoon. I have a in person interview tomorrow. I am just going to k...	maresie	2	337	Jan 31, 2008 by maresie
	compassion (Preview) What is the oppisite of being compassionate? I believe I am being Un-compassionate as a coping mechanism. I feel like I am trying to stay frozen all the time so that I don't have to feel the pain or anymore pain than I have already felt. I feel like I am turning into a loveless person. I don't want to be this...	serendipity	4	581	Jan 31, 2008 by Jerry F
	Feeling frustrated irritated and confused! (Preview) My A got out of jail about 2 weeks ago and went into a recovery house. Now he's in an apartment with a guy he is working for. He has a job, a home and says he is going to meetings, etc. My agenda was to file for divorce while he was in jail so I can have it go cheaply and smoothly without a custody/visitation fig...	carolinagirl	14	660	Feb 2, 2008 by Jen
	I AM IN SHOCK (Preview) Dear Family, I feel that my job may be in jeopardy. This is scaring me to death. I work in a chain drug store as a pharmacist. Each store has 2 pharmacists. My former partner was promoted, and has now become my supervisor. When she was my partner, we had some disagreements and she ended up being transferr...	cookie1971	10	706	Feb 1, 2008 by Jerry F
	The last 24 hours...would welcome your feedback... (Preview) ...however before I say anything further, I want to thank all of you who responded to me, one way or another, on my last post. I have appreciated every word that you have communicated to me. I have spent hours reading and rereading and contemplating each word, the hard facts, the questions, the truth...	Heartbroken	12	570	Jan 31, 2008 by round3
	victim super martyr (Preview) One reason I find myself so stressed out is that I can now see fully in technicolor how easiy I fall into the role of victim super martyr. I found myself wanting to go into work early and rescue everyone and be "liked" because I feel like a fish out of water being assertive and focused on my job se...	maresie	5	577	Feb 1, 2008 by Jerry F
	stressed to the max (Preview) For a number of reasons, my health, my income, my home, my lack of support, my job, my commute, my health my stress level is now completely off the charts. I would ask for prayers from you all. I am so absolutely totally wiped out. Maresie	maresie	2	274	Jan 30, 2008 by maresie
	This may be a question for NA... (Preview) I think I have mentioned before that I have used with my A. I never had before prior to our relationship. However, I have also used some periodically without him- alot of my feelings involving my guilt with using I believe is also associated with my anxiety over using with him. Anyway, when we had our...	Codependent	7	598	Feb 1, 2008 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.