Really need some validation and opinions. AH and I had a terrible argument just a bit ago, now he has left to go to work. I need to know if what I said was wrong because he wrote me a letter before he left and said he did not think he needed to apologise. 

This is how it started; He asked me if I would check out a home buisness that he has been looing into on the net. ( my response was based on his lack of meeting attendence, his avoidence of calling his sponser, his refusal to talk to me about anything, (see a previous post),   his critical attitude and his lack of working on his issues, which by the way, I have not said anything to him about, but which also preclude relapse for him everytime) I told him I would look some things up on it, but I wanted to see him doing the things he needed to be doing and that I felt that he was neglecting his priorities.  His sponser told me to tell him to go to a meeting when I felt he needed to, and I have once or twice but it falls on deaf ears and he just says he knows he needs to do better but he is not making an effort. He is always too tired or he forgot etc. I see with my eyses a relapse about to happen but he refuses to do anything about it. He became angry by waht I said and said to just forget it and left the room. I went outside where he was and tried to talk to him, but he just got angrier. I told him that I would look into the buisness thing but I wanted to see him working on his stuff. I also said that whenever I try to talk to you  that he just makes everything about him and does not listen to me, and refuses to talk about anything. He just became angrier and said to just forget about it again, he was yelling by this point and he kicked around some boots that were on the porch. It was frightning to me considering his physical abuse in the past. I have also read that any kind of physical violence is actually a physical threat and therefore abuse.  My Alanon sponser told me that I should at least say I how I feel because that lets my feelings out, even if he does not listen. 

In the letter he wrote he said that he wanted to be able to make more money to provide for us, but in my opinion, if he does not do his personal work then it will not matter how much money he makes. I have told him many times that what I want the most is for him to listen to me and acknowlwdge what I say and that this lets me know he loves me more than any money could. This too falls on deaf ears.   I also said that he was often too tired to go to meetings now, which I guess I should not have said, but if he is too tired now, what about when he starts working more. Seems his priorities should be the meetings, not more work.

Anyway he says he does not think he needs to apologise for his behavior because he just wants what is best for us. To me that statement is just not logical.

So was I wrong?  Is he right on this?

Thanks

Cat