Back in the early 80's whilst my A was sailing the seven seas with HM, me and the kids where digging a trench in our nearly acquired home. Why were we digging this trench, well the land sloped down to our bungalow and it was a bad Spring and we were about a foot deep in muddy water all the way around, [rising by the minute] so we thought we had better dig a soak away and trench it to the stream at the back of the house.

Only problem was, it was thick, heavy clay and we had to trench 200 yards across the back garden and along the whole of the bungalow and were advised to dig at least four feet down before putting the chippings in. Here I am doing this with two children 5 and 7, all pitching in.

This particular day we had done really well, but all three of us were caked in so much mud that we had to strip to the bare necessities (underwear) before entering the property.

Turned on the water for the bath and NOTHING came out. "Ok," I say to the kids, "I will go up in the loft and see if the water tank has run dry"...son says..."can I come up with you"...I say "ok but you stay at the top of the ladder and come NO FURTHER, and you can hold the torch for me".

Meanwhile my daughter stays at the bottom to hold the ladder.

Everything is ok until I am about a foot away from the tank when CRACK, SPLIT, CRUMBLE, RUMBLE, BANG and I end up grabbing on to the edge of the tank with BOTH legs having gone through the ceiling and the beam split in two and my son sitting on top of me too scared to move. And me surprised I am still in the loft!

Then we hear my daughter shouting, "Mummy I can seeone leg hanging from the ceiling in the lounge and the other in the hallway, and I can hear water gushing in the bath...what shall I do first, come up and pull you out, go to the bathroom to turn off the water or do I need to call the firebridge?"

My son shouts out, "WHAT ABOUT ME, I KNEW YOU REALLY DID NOT WANT A BROTHER!" Sorry that really cracked me up and it takes me some moments to tell my daughter to call the firebridge.

In the end, my son managed to crawl back and down the ladder, and ran to my bedroom saying he would get me some clothes to put on.

The first thing I heard when the firebridge came was my son telling them "Close your eyes 'cos mummy is not dressed." (they got here before he had managed to climb back up with a jumper and a pair of trousers).

How he expected me to get the trousers on with my legs through the ceiling I do not know and I have to say I could do nothing but laugh. The fireman came up with a teatowel tried round his face that my son had given him. He said that my son would not let him up if he did not cover his eyes up. Hoo hum.

I really just thought I would share another funny escapade in the life of Heartbroken...there are plenty more where that one came from. My A has NO IDEA the things we got up to, but being alone one just had to get on with things. And the trench, the soak away and the ceiling and the water tank was all successfully completed by the time his world cruise was over.

And I was working full time and sewing leather moccasin slippers in the evenings for £2 per 100! I must have been on crazy lady! [Think that is possibly still questionable today too.]

Heart