The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just got in from work and was so tickled to see the replies to my post I made this morning. The encourgement is wonderful.
Christy, thru your insight and imput I see that If I make a decision that is best for me, it is ultimately best for my son. And leaving would have only made me more miserable.
I feel I am prepared for my sons reaction but did I tell you about my mother? She grew up with an A father and I understand she doesn't want her grandson to endure what she did. But I do not see that this is the same situation. But as she will try to convince me to leave I will try to remember my decision.
As far as the "family sit down" it will not occur until Sunday. My A is out of town working and my son is out of town with grandmother for vacation (and this worries me, she is filling his head with) - oops probably shouldn't go there.
But again, thank you all for being here! I just can't stress that enough.
Sld, I just went back and read your previous post.
I totally understand, because when I decided to stay with my A, I surprised a lot of people. My daughter who is grown and married especially has a hard time with it. I tell her just because I love him doesn't mean I love her less. Friends at work try to watch what they say, because I know they think I am nuts for staying. And my sisters. My mom seems to understand some, even tho she left my dad because he was an A. She still loved him, even when he died 9 years after they were divorced. She never dated.
My husband and daughter (he's not her dad) have a lot of issues with each other, stemming back from when she was 11 and saw him and I in a knock down drag out fight. She doesn't get alanon, doesn't want anything to do with it. Hub has "banned" my daughter from our house, but she didn't ever come over anyway. She was always too busy with 2 stepsons, a job, Yoga, and getting Yoga certification. So, that is a sore point between them.
But, as Debi said, if he had a brain tumor, and said crazy things, maybe she wouldn't want to be around him anyway. She doesn't understand he is sick.
So, best wishes to you. You are the only one who can decide what makes you happy. Of course, if he abused your son, that would be a different story, as we must protect our children.
But, in an alcoholic home, things can get so crazy, and so irrational. That is why we must learn everything we can to help ourselves and our kids. Do you talk to your son about Alanon? I guess in a way, since we are stark, raving sober (according to Toby Rice Drews), it is up to us to turn things over to God or HP, and attempt to live as normally as possible in an abnormal household. The other day, I saw a Tshirt that said "I Put the FUN in Dysfunctional" I loved it!
The encourgement is wonderful. 
She grew up with an A father and I understand she doesn't want her grandson to endure what she did. But I do not see that this is the same situation. But as she will try to convince me to leave I will try to remember my decision.