The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I see all the good things in the program and feel the helpfullness of the steps. I have come a long way and know I have a LOOOOOONG way to go. In every day situations I am constantly hearing words I have learned to help deal with things better. Don't take me wrong.... they are good words... words that work. They are the tools that make my life saner... and it works.
But I am tired. I am tired of seeing my past again as it gets brought up by situations. I am tired and get frustrated hearing the "tools" in my head, I know this is a good thing to hear the tools, but I want a rest. Three is the part of me that wants to go back into denial where I don't have to deal with this stuff. But, I don't know how to do it.
Is there a way to take a break from this program? Can I take a break while remaining healthy? Can I do it without pretending I am going through denial?
I really love this program and love the way I have been growing. I love the people and the tools. So what is wrong with me??????
I too have wanted to take a vacation from life, we all do. We are all entitled to. It's healthy for the most part.
I have taken a break from this program. Sometimes I do this prorgam so much, that I forget to live the program. I mean I can work the steps, go to my meetings, do my readings, etc. I always did my homework when I was little and in college, but what did I learn from it? It's how one can get burned out.
It's when I start to live my program rather than work it, that the program works for me. I take my program wherever I am. I just used it at work the other night without realizing it until I was talking to hubby later. It was a very unconscious thing too. That's what was great about it. it was a moment!
Breaks are okay. As long as you are not running from the program in order not to deal with something. You have to be honest with yourself about this. Am I just needing to back off of things, in order to give myself a rest? Or am I running away from something. That's the key.
Live strong,
Karilynn
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
The program gets tiring sometimes, but perhaps it has something to do with your perspectives on the whole thing....
If you embrace the tools of Al-Anon as they are meant to be - as "soft tools" for everyday life, that help us stay balanced and at peace with ourselves and the outside world - they become relatively second nature, and you end up applying them without having to "work" them, per se...
If you look at the tools as simply a means of "getting there" (i.e. fully recovered and 'normal'), then they will always seem heavy, and a burden, and they will wear you out.... Eventually they might even overwhelm you, right back into denial, which is where most of us started....
I think it is about life change.... Al-Anon principles and tools become part of the fabric of our everyday lives and thoughts.... The more we use them, the more them become habitual and natural....
All that being said, I am also a big fan of taking some much needed "time for yourself", preferably each day.... time to NOT read recovery stuff, etc., and just do something nice and peaceful for yourself.... That could be a walk in the park, a bubble bath, reading a (non-addiction related) book, etc...
Hope that helps
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Hang in there girl. As we all know, those of us that have been around for a little while, this program does not happen overnight. We learn the program and start to use the program. It didn't happen for me until I was able to let go and let God. Today, I do my very best to live the program and not "work" the program. It seams like a lot of work if I have to "work" it. But when I live the program, it doesn't feel like work. It becomes second nature. A way to live. A way to deal w/others. As well as a way to your freedom. I believe we all have it in us the be happy, joyous and free. When I get in a bad space, I HAVE to pause. See if I can identify why I am bothered, pray about it, and accept it and deal w/it. I find the hardest key of all of these is actually accepting it. But once you can get past that, the rest is easy!
Remember to take care of you! Like the others said, take that walk for YOU, enjoy a bubble bath, anything that YOU like to do and you are not doing it for someone else. That defeats the purpose. If you can take care of YOU, the rest will come. If you can truly love yourself, you can open your heart to others. But what ever you do, don't loose you. It is ok to think of others, so long as you don't allow their lives to consume yours.
I totally agree with Karilyn. Its funny how the program "sneaks" up on you in all of your life. I was in essence taking a break from it because I didnt think I needed it anymore (isnt that the same story for everyone!!) and then realized that I needed it more.
I think just recently I realized this wasnt about setting boundaries for the A or the person you are involved with to respect - but for YOURSELF to respect. If I deviate from the program too long - I start to focus too much on the person I am with (or not with) and not enough on the things I need. I keep learning daily - but the most important thing is that I am learning I am my OWN person - and building from the inside out for me is making me so much stronger to deal with day to day issues.
((((((((((((((Sandie)))))))))))))) WOW your post sounds like me this morning One thing I grew up with in my alcoholic family was continue chaos it was all I really knew as a kid.. Well when I started this program and came out of the continued chaos I too saw my self growing and growing I too have a long way to go but there are times when my own stinking thinking will drag me down to the point of I am tired of life and recovery But life is life and you are always recovering.... I have to remember to turn over to HP How I am feeling and ask him for help and guidence which I did this morning my old dirty past was coming back to my brain and I felt my fear soaring inside OH HP WHY I was doing so well....because I was at peace but my stinking thinking wanted me to be in "chaos" I must say I am doing better now... HP showed me ways to relax in my recovery like reading a good book, working out, motorcylce ride with hubby, chatting here on MIP or with other friends,snuggling with my kids,watching movie with the kids, and lastnight my hubby and 2 kids and I went and played baseball as a family It took my mind of my recovery and stinking thinking and brought me back to peace the one reason I love this program so much Peaces...
I hoped I help a little ((((sandie)))))) Your doing great!!!!!
Hi sandi, I remember feeling like you. So I put all my alanon stuff out of sight and just lived it for awhile. Was not here for a bit.
It felt refreshing. I liken it to how much I love watermelon, my favorite food, but if I eat too much at a time, I get sick.
Even good stuff can be stressful.
Sometimes I just have to stop certain things and just soak it all in.
I remember my mother sewed all the time. But when she got tired of it, she began making mistakes. So she would just put it all in a cubboard until she was ready to do it again.
hugs, and when ya take your break you will learn even more.
I've only been back in alanon about 8 months but I also have taken a break.I had to do that when I was getting too hard on myself.When I was trying too hard to change something in me and I got frustrated and wanted to give up.In earlier tries at the program,I did give up.
Also,as others have said,I need time to 'live' what I have learned.To let it soak in.I cannot take it ALL in and absorb it at the same time.I need to think about it and apply what I have learned.
There's plenty of time.You can't rush this.We all have our own pace and that's ok.
We are all entitled to. It's healthy for the most part. 
moment! 
