The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am having a good day today, looking forward to the weekend, hanging out with some aa and alanon friends. However, for months I have been struggling with the issue of loneliness, more of a lack of intimacy in my life. Not of the sexual nature just arms to hold me, someone to hug, lay with me when I watch tv. (my ex a/ch bf and I decided to part and focus on our recovery, hes been sober for 4 months)
Anyway, I am longing to be in a relationship, and find mysef becoming anxious about meeting someone new or reconciling with my ex, thats still a possibility. But I dont want to get back together with him until he has at least a year of sobriety. He agrees.
I have been a single mom for 7 years, I am 42, and so ready to move on with my life and have a signficant other to share it with-feeling frustrated and lonely!!
Also, I have determined over the last month I am a double winner and the program recommends no relationships for at least a year. Ok, so I guess this means nothing as far as closeness for a year or more--even more frustrating...... G
ya know I remember writing the same thing on here.
For some reason it stopped. I started thinking, it seems like I got that urge more when I was depressed and not connected to my passions.
I have been really diligent to take my meds and vitamins and minerals, eating healthy, drinking water, getting exercise and seeing my friends. Also have been making sure I got my "spiritual" food.
Been feeling so much better and don't feel that longing for intimacy lately.
So maybe it is like when ya crave sugar, what ya really need is protein?
I might have been feeling off kilter, a bit off and a hug sounded so good. Where in reality, my body needed me to be consistant in how i took care of it.
Just a thought.
Hope you do get what you need! I get myself flowers, guinea pigs, um fertile soil for the garden....(c:
There are times I feel sad and nothing fills that empty hole. But I get some good sleep and that emptiness goes away.
((((Beach))))) Debi gave you some awesome insight to your problem. And I think that lady has her head on straight. She's never steered me wrong.
I agree it is very important to keep in contact with friends. I tend to isolate myself when I am down. I will talk to people on the phone, or chat, or on line, but I avoid one-to-one contact, when that's just what I am needing the most.
Touch is very important. Babies without it do not thrive. We need it to make us complete. Do you have a pet? If you don't, I'm sure Debi will loan you one of her creatures.
How old are your kids? Do they think they are too old to give their Momma hugs?
I sturggle with loneliness, too, even tho I live with my husband, who is an A. He is a very active A, has turned into a "monk" or something. Doesn't need or desire the closeness I do. Not very interested in me right now. So, I turn to my 2 cats. Also, the stray outside cat I feed. And sneak in hugs from friends at work whenever I can. Sometimes I will just out and out tell one of my friends I need a hug, and they do. It helps, even tho it is not exactly the same as cuddling with my husband. When I'm around my granddaughter, who is 2, I just about squeeze her to death trying to soak up enough hugs to last me the 2-3 months until I see her again. By the time I leave, she's sick of me!
I am hereby sending you a great big bear hug, and good thought and wishes. And a bouquet of your favorite flowers. And a box of chocolates. And a massage. There, doesn't that feel better? Honestly, wish I could!
You will be in my thought. Try to take Deb's advice about eating well and taking care of yourself.
