The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my ex boyf.. (the A) was in contact briefly for the past number of weeks... he had got a place to stay, got a new job earning good money and seemed happy-ish... the one thing he kept saying he wanted was ....ME!
i told him no... that i cudnt go throu all that shit again..and we were better off remaining on good terms... not exactly best of friends... but friendly enough... so we could chat now and then and i cud see how he was getting on... then he rings me... says he lost his job sue to a fight... i went to see him.. he had black and blue eys..and cuts and bruises everywhere... he was a boucer at a niteclub when he refused entry to a few guys..they jumped him... he had to leave work..coz one eye was completely shut... he cudnt see out of it.
to make a long story short... he started drinking again... and rang me to say he was broke.. and alone! i told him i would call if i had time.... i did not.. in the end.
his scumbag friend who is wating a prison sentence for armed robbery and GBH... went on the run last friday with a stolen credit card... and managed to withdraw a vast amt of cash off it.... guess what................. my ex is gone off with him....on the run.....
he promised to ring me...from the airport...but he didn't... he just yext saying how mush he loved me and he was sorry for everything.and e had to quit relying on me to survive..he would never bother em again...... that was 5 days ago..and no one... has heard from him since...his phone has an engaged tone...and his mom was calling me to see if he had contacted me.... i said no... i cudnt tell her he had skipped the country with that other dangerous fool.
im lost... im torn in 2...what do i do.... do i wait and see if he contacts or do i report him as a missing persons.... god i need help..... im down and feel alone....and have a horrible feeling i wont see him again..its frightening thought.... one which im afraid to entertain in my head in case i have a break down!
My uncle (who was an addict) used to do this regularly. It was a cycle. Get clean, get a job, lose job, get wasted and disappear, go to jail, get clean ....
It is an unfortunate, but common I have found, scenerio of the disease. You obviously care for him, and that is about all you can really do. My uncle was never "missing", he was hiding. Probably the only addiction thing I ever did right, was hope he was ok and keep on keeping on.
I am so sorry that you feel so torn, but there is precious little you can really do for him right now, other than lift him to your HP and pray he is ok.
In the mean time, I will keep you and him in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I am sorry for the stress you are going through - I know it is so hard to worry and it sounds like he is going through a lot.
All I know how to do now is to let go and let God. Pray, pray and pray is all that I do sometimes. God has a plan for him just like he does you. You need to take care of yourself. Try to get your mind off of this situation. I know that is hard when it is all you can dwell on but try really hard.... it does help.
My prayers are with you today. You will get stronger, I know it. Try to go to a meeting if you can?
I'm sorry you're going through this. But if recovery means anything, it means taking care of ourselves, and doing what is best for ourselves. As Cyn said, what are you getting out this by going through all of this?
At some point you have to detach and give him over to his HP. It's hard I know, but detachment can be empowering. An addict is going to do what an addict is going to do, and that holds true for the ones who are active as well as sober. There is nothing we can do about them. We can take the focus off of them, and put it where it belongs, back on ourselves.
Remember you are entitled to be happy and healthy.
Live strong,
Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
