The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
How in the world do you find balance between the 2 programs???
I am taught to really go to bat, as it were, for my fellow alcoholic who is WILLINGLY in recovery...
Balancing the responsibility I have as an alcoholic, of carrying the message, along with things like "Letting Go" of a lot of folks who aren't ready can be confusing.
What I do know is that both these beautiful programs teach us how to live life on life's terms, how to let our Higher Power dictate the course of events, how to keep MYSELF in a good space of recovery, no matter what.
It is just difficult for me to adopt some of the concepts of AlAnon and AA together... Like, "When do I stop HELPING in the AA way, and start Letting Go, or Releasing people, to keep myself sane??"
Anyone got anything on this, any experience, opinions, or books to read would be greatly appreciated...
You answered your own question. You help until you can't do it. When the insanity of it all sets in, it is time to let go. It is ok to help, but it is not ok to do things for others that they can do for themself UNLESS you REALLY want to! Otherwise, it just ends up being a resentment. Check your motives. Do you want to help? If so, to what extent? And then also, when are you going to draw the line. You must have boundaries.
I am not a double winner, but do know personally many that are. These are things that I practice myself as well as having been told this by double winners. Remember too, practice doesn't make perfect, but, progress, not perfection! We will never be "perfect", but we can make an effort of progress to better ourselves as well as help others in the process.
Really, I don't know of anyone in AA that doesn't have some Al Anon issues. Whether or not they persue Al Anon is a personal choice.
What I have come to realize is that some people don't want recovery. I mean, we carry the message, not the alcholic. So, I think at a certain point letting go of those who don't want the message is the reality that they're not ready. And that fills into the core reason we're in al anon to begin with--I'm scared this person's gonna die of their alcholism/drug addiction, and I can't take the insanity any more.
At a certain point, I just hope that they'll be okay. That God will guide them to the spiritual awakening that is their due.
And Mobirdie, I am printing out those questions. I really appreciated that!! Thank you!! Seems like on some days I may be able to 'handle more' than on other days.... voilla'--the HUMAN CONDITION!!! I'm not so 'unique' after all!!! LOL
I also have to remember that recovery is based on attraction, rather than promotion. When I start 'promoting' too much, sounds like too much 'controlling' for this girl!!! eeeks...
I have been literally damaged in the past, in recovery, by taking on waaay too much of another alcoholic's messes... I have overstepped financial 'fixing' boundaries for others, I have raced around all the day long, frantically searching for someone who was suicidal and disappeared, and the list goes on. Yes, I have a responsobility to help when called upon, but NOT to do anything that is threatening to my own well-being. Too much drama and crisis puts me on shakey ground. That's one of the rreasons why we are told that newcomers need a support GROUP... one fellow alcoholic or alanon cannot possibly heap all that 'stuff' on his/her self.
I am not superwoman.... and I don't want to pretend I am, or try to be, anymore. what I can't do, God or another recovering person CAN do...
Thanks for your support in helping me get this 'block' screwed back onto my shoulders...
