Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kicky · kicky

It's finally hit my A that I'm serious about him choosing rehab or moving out and I haven't shown signs of waivering. He wanted to "talk" last night, but I told him I prefer to talk about things when he was sober. (Cause of course he had been at the bar, after work, for 3 hours) So, thi...

arty · arty

Hi after spending the last few hours reading all the other posts i realised i was in the right place. I had tears in my eyes through most of it as i saw similarities in my life in so many of them... I am engaged and supposed to get married next year. before my A proposed to me hes was sober for just under a mo...

Rita G · Rita G

As I just read Rtexas' last post - it made my decision final that I needed to post this. So, first - Thanks Rtexas for your bravery and your post. Ok - here goes. Have you ever wondered about that point at which the obsession takes over and a "normal" person becomes an addict? It ha...

be4yourii · be4yourii

I just wanted to thank everyone who was in the chat room last night and listened to me. You guys really helped me get through a rough night. i also wanted to let you all know what happened after he came home. . . i'm pretty sure he didn't go to the bar, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer so maybe he...

lin0606 · lin0606

Life has been dealing my husband some real blows in the last little while. His mother died in early August. Since the death he has been finding out some very disturbing things about his sister, who had been living with her and looking after her. There is a lot of money missing, for instance ten thous...

Christy · Christy

I think whoever wrote this must have been in Alanon

*********************************************************************

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((Good morning family))))))))), It's a glorious day today! The

is coming up, the leaves are turning their brilliant colors and it's chilly! A perfect fall today. I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday. Today is a Piper, Pumpkin and Puppy Day! Hubb...

shadow1 · shadow1

HI everyone, Sharon, (Angel123) asked me to post that her computer is down. It totally fried

. So she won't be available for a while. She will try and get to her son's computer to read her email but that is the best she can do for now. I am praying that HP will provide for her and she will be able...

maresie2 · maresie2

Through this long saga of the A's mother moving I have been praying to see the moments of recovery. I see them. Apparently the new husband asked the A to move to wherever they live. He is considering it. Before I have to say this I would be mortified he did not consid...

greta · greta

Things have been kind of topsy turvey the last couple of days. My brother has lung cancer, and for the last 6-8 weeks has gone thru testing. The results have been that it was contained to the left lung and that they would remove the lung. Now out of the blue we have found out that the tes...

maresie2 · maresie2

I swear if I ever ever get into another relationship before I commit I want to look at the family issues. As you all know the As mother decided to get married a few weeks ago. Quite out of the blue. Before then she had been the penltimate widow. She never dated anyone. She went to so...

Jill · Jill

Lilms posted about its importance, but I don't really understand it. It feels like I am embarassed or ashamed to need help. I'm proud I attend alanon and am taking care of myself in that manner. I am more grown up than to tell someone else's story or out them, but it feels like the "before" behavior. Can an...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I remember reading from one of our member's "Why do we have to be nice?" Well, dearest, just to prove that I chew my tounge off from biting it.... So yesterday I talked to my neurologist at my counselor's encouragment. Even though the migranes had gotten better they still hadn't gone...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Good Morning (((Everyone))) I've been thinking about this concept for a while now and another post brought it to the front of my mind again. I grew up with I guess what you would call hippie parents, not addicts or alcoholics but they definitely took advantage of the times and nothing was hi...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

My A while I was online stated to be that my sponsor was past her bed time. My A doesnt like me talking to my sponsor. Is actually really jelous of me talking to my sponsor. Any suggestions.

sld488 · sld488

Would someone explain to me the meaning or definition of the letters H.A.L.T. Thank you!

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

I am amazed with all the progress in recovery I have been making. I was able to tell my AH it was time to end it last January. Through recovery, I was able to tell him to go when it got to a point that I was no longer willing to tolerate with relative ease. I didn't have to mean about it.&nbs...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))))), Good morning. I've been struggling a bit with a few things. Nothing major, but things that have been just causing me a bit of angst. Kind of stuck, not moving foward, etc. Well I went to do my daily mediation reading from Hazelden this mor...

hersh · hersh

((((Everyone))) After being woken up lastnight by drunk AH and listening to his arrogance and hate words (I sat up but then just went to bed), I woke up this morning and told him goodbye when I left. I asked him if he remembered what happened lastnight. He said, "no, was I messing with you...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Family))) Thanks to all who wrote in their thoughts and feelings to my post on my marriage proposal. I took in each of your points and gave all my concerns, hopes, and dreams to HP. My family has been suprisingly supportive and just basically said all they want is our happiness.&nbs...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, my Abf's friend comes out of rehab next week. He's trouble and my instincts tell me to keep well away from him. But seems he's this great buddy, and he will be around. I have to get used to it! Anyway, I've been really nervous about this for the past few weeks and have not handled it very well. I'...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((Everyone)))))))) You know.... I struggled so much after getting here about if to stay or go or what? I got some wonderful advise about giving it time and when it's right.... I will know. Well, needless to say we had a really bad weekend. I won't go into great detail, but she was...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

My husband died of a brain tumor about 7 years ago. His emotions were out of control due to the tumor and meds he was on. A lot of the time he was unreasonable. I suffered a lot of panic attacks that seemed vaguely familiar. Once, in particular he was haranguing me about the venetian blinds. I started to pan...

rosedawn · rosedawn

Hi im Dawn, Ive been coming here for 3 yrs now,without this room i dont know how i would handle this situation.Well anyways my sister had a stroke,alot of brain damage and cant walk or move arm etc......But the warning signs were there her pressure was high she had light flashes in her eyes.I offered h...

Phil · Phil

Letting Go: The Journey for your Life - Letting Go By Barry Elwin-Jones WHAT IS LETTING GO? Letting go can be the most terrifying experience we can have. Letting go means having no support mechanism for our egos. Put simply, when we let go, we trust that everything is going to work out in our best i...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hi ((((((friends)))))) I had another bad day Tuesday.Cried all day.But it seems every time I have one of those days I take a step forward after it.I seem to learn from it.This time my eyes have been opened.I think I have found that elusive compassion Alanon tells us to have for alcoholics. Now,kee...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) I heard a song on the radio this morning on the way to work. I had been ... uh... rocking my therapy I guess. The others on the road hopefully thought I was on my hands free cell phone. LOL Just before I hit the parking lot a song by Blue October came on. I have heard this song hundreds o...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, The thing that always gets me on this board is that so often, others are feeling so similar to me. It is always so comforting to be reminded that I am not alone. Life has been calm lately.(as calm as life with 7 children can be) The kids and I go about our daily lives. My front door is all bu...

lilms · lilms

Hi all, A quick note to remind all of us how important anonymity is to the success of this program. I was at the mall yesterday shopping with my wife. We ran into a mutual acquaintance and stopped to say hi. She is from my f2f group and never let on that I had ever been there bless her. The...

krusland · krusland

Hi everyone. I'm new to these boards. I was just married a month ago, and my new AH went into detox and rehab a week ago. I thought everything was going great. I mean, he had some slips in the past, but swore to me he was doing really well, which I believed. I never really thought it was this serious. I am s...

annmarie · annmarie

Can an A be an affectionate person? I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lack of simple affection is a real issue for me. It causes a lot of problems for me. Maybe I'm too defensive and self protective to allow affection. AM

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

What was said about Alanon being an A's worst nightmare is true. My husband and I were both asked to speak at an Alanon meeting I didn't attend regularly. When his turn came, he said "Ladies and Gentlemen", you will never no how you are screwing up someone's enjoyment of drinkng by coming to these meetin...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just curious. I remember when hubby got out of rehab and they stressed 90 meetings in 90 days. (He being the classic over achiever did 90 meetings in 90 minutes lol! still relapsed) My local alanon group never talks about things like that. How many meetings you...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Where would I be without my AW. Probably in rehab myself or dead. ..... why would I say that. My Father was an active A most of my life. He didn't find sobriety until the fine state of Texas gave him a choice. Go to rehab or go to jail. It was his first...

Tammy · Tammy

Well, yesterday was a very difficult day for my husband it was the 2nd anniversary of his mothers death. As you know he is living in a camper after I kicked him out nearly 4 weeks ago. Last night he went to his fathers and then the grave site and said he would call me later. I said okay and went on .. I too...

rainydayz · rainydayz

Last night I talked to my A for the fist time in almost 2 weeks. He is still using/drinking and is so far in his addiction that its frightening. I am 4000 miles away from our home.. and him and I feel helpless. He told me he loves me and wants to come here to be with me and get help. He says he needs to go but will ca...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just wondering if someone is verbally abusive to you drunk or not, why must we "not say it mean"? Don't you think that sometimes a cold hard word is effective at making someone stop to think? I don't mean just to be hurtful but to say what is true whether it hurts or not. IE I don'...

CoffeeBean3 · CoffeeBean3

I cannot get very detailed right now as my time is in short supply at the moment, but I am in some seriously desperate need of ESH. My A has decided to attempt getting sober. I don't know what precipitated this epiphany and I won't question it. So far he's made two AA meetings...

jaja · jaja

Well, I did go ahead and tell my A that I was going to put myself in Al-Anon again. I figured it was safe to call him since he had been over the other day to fix something in the house and we were nice to each other. So I told him about the bill collectors who keep...

kicky · kicky

Sunday,after a month long rollercoaster binge of alcohol and drugs, I asked my A to make a choice...enter rehab (again) or move out of my house and life. So of course the routine went...anger, denial, and today...quiet submissiveness. He called at work to pretend like I was just "over reacting" and I...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I hope you will help me to see this situation more clearly. I feel I am just going round in circles at the moment. My bf has not been drinking for a few weeks now and we are getting on well. He is not on a programme though, and has no intention of staying sober. We have had some good times recen...

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Happy Tuesday! I just thought of something so weird today. I am getting so much stronger. It was an up and down weekend, sounds like everyone here had one too. BUT, I was thinking today how much stronger I am than before, and how much I obsessed with AH's eve...

Becky1 · Becky1

I am tired. So tired of dealing. With him, with myself, with my job, everything. I just want to sleep. My house is a mess. We have no clean clothes. The fridge is a mess. Dishes in the sink. Dishes in the drainer. I just come home, try to cope, go to work, come home...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) My A has taken to making comments od "When I am right ... I Will date you again" I will have another house" be happy" Usually i can hear these things and just let them go. The I will date you again comment really got me thinking though. In the last year or so I have been told I w...

lilms · lilms

Okay, So yesterday I posted and it was all sweet and light. I truly believe that stuff, really I do but right at the moment I just wanna run far far away. I am tired of never knowing when my home is going to be invaded. The A is here, has been using, has made a mess and because she is not my chil...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Today I been saying the S prayer quite a bit. Especially "... the courage to change the things I can". I am so tired. I had to remind myself today that I was having suicidal daydreams, like subconcious plans when I found this program. I have to keep remindin...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Last night, my AW who is caught in a tough spot of making a decission if she is to go to rehab or go out on her own. The throws of that turned into a horrible scene last night that got loud and physical. Unfortunately (but not supprising) our 11 yr old son walked in...

babysteps · babysteps

AH is beginning day 2. This time he isn't going through heavy-duty withdrawal, which is nice. BUT...it drives me nuts that when he is drinking he can just drop all responsibility. I do everything (run business, clean house, pay bills, cook, take care of child, mow grass). Then when he is sober for a day...

Tammy · Tammy

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the death of my mother in law and the day my life really started going downhill. My husband found his mother dead that day and his drinking became out of control and has not improved since. I have left my husband more than once during the last two years only to return to pro...

Nette · Nette

I really don't know where to begin. Please bear with me...this is going to get long. I began noticing that my husband had a drinking problem about 2 or so years ago, after his first seizure (caused by withdrawl we now know). That was followed over the next year or so by 2 more withdrawl ind...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been going off and on to a f2f mtg in my area. it is a small town and there's only 1 and they meet once a week. There are always the same 5 adults and 1 teen there. Last meeting there were as many kids as adults and the entire meeting was run by one of the kids as an alateen meeting.&nbs...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanon friends, I haven't posted in awhile. No big drama with my AHsober. We have been separated a year physically; 2 years since he said he wanted out of the marriage. He fades further and further into the background by his choice. He promises to call but forgets. He makes plans to meet and then som...

Tamiele · Tamiele

My brother has been labelled by himself and others as an alcoholic. Maybe I am speaking from the position of not understanding the disease - but what it looks like to me is that he is just a very immature individual who can't say no to a party. He "dried out" 2 years ago at a centre for one mon...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

Thank you for all the comments and input. Alcoholics are not the only ones who can fall off the wagon. We can too if we neglect to work the program like I have. One of the comments was about grief I might still be harboring for my husband. I am grieving but not so much for my husband. I lost my sister a coup...

serendipity · serendipity

i brought up the "say what you mean but don't say it mean" thing last night at my meeting. i am having a hard time with stating my boundries and consequently i am becoming full of resentment and the old anger and hurts are threatening to come spilling out. my ex has been spending all his time here with me and...

kicky · kicky

After my last post, I took in all the great responses and realized I was kidding myself if I could practice ignoring the ill-behavior of my A. I love the principals of alanon. I tried to work on myself and enjoy my life even if my A was still actively "alcoholish." But after this weekend of disrespectfuln...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but read here everyday, and get so much from other peoples words of wisdom, it helps to come here and know that I am not alone in this problem and be able to get a bit of insite to how others deal with their day to day lives with their A's. I&n...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Wow, this is going to be a rough road I believe. It reminds me of when my youngest son was starting to sleep in his own room by himself. He stalled, and cried, and screamed and it was absolutely heart wrenching. But, you know he wasn't in pain, he just didn't w...

jaja · jaja

Do you think it is not such a good thing to let the A know that you are in AL-ANON? I ask this because I am just getting back into meetings and at this time my A is not aware of that. While I know he'll drink no matter what if he's so compelled and my going to meetings doesn't matter to him any...

Barbara · Barbara

just finally had an aha moment - and if anyone can extend on this please do so We got a new boss a few years ago. I worked in my job for several years before she was hired. It seems like she plays favorites, is not very available, hardly ever in the office, spends hours shopping for supplies, etc. It...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A started the bargaining (Preview) It's finally hit my A that I'm serious about him choosing rehab or moving out and I haven't shown signs of waivering. He wanted to "talk" last night, but I told him I prefer to talk about things when he was sober. (Cause of course he had been at the bar, after work, for 3 hours) So, thi...	kicky	6	349	Oct 15, 2006 by maresie2
	new here (Preview) Hi after spending the last few hours reading all the other posts i realised i was in the right place. I had tears in my eyes through most of it as i saw similarities in my life in so many of them... I am engaged and supposed to get married next year. before my A proposed to me hes was sober for just under a mo...	arty	6	313	Oct 15, 2006 by lin0606
	Have you ever?? (Preview) As I just read Rtexas' last post - it made my decision final that I needed to post this. So, first - Thanks Rtexas for your bravery and your post. Ok - here goes. Have you ever wondered about that point at which the obsession takes over and a "normal" person becomes an addict? It ha...	Rita G	11	448	Oct 15, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	thanks everyone (Preview) I just wanted to thank everyone who was in the chat room last night and listened to me. You guys really helped me get through a rough night. i also wanted to let you all know what happened after he came home. . . i'm pretty sure he didn't go to the bar, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer so maybe he...	be4yourii	1	261	Oct 15, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Send a little comfort our way, please (Preview) Life has been dealing my husband some real blows in the last little while. His mother died in early August. Since the death he has been finding out some very disturbing things about his sister, who had been living with her and looking after her. There is a lot of money missing, for instance ten thous...	lin0606	9	463	Oct 15, 2006 by lin0606
	Daily Motivation (Preview) I think whoever wrote this must have been in Alanon*********************************************************************	Christy	4	575	Oct 15, 2006 by ET
	A Piper, Pumpkin and Puppy Day! (Preview) (((((((((Good morning family))))))))), It's a glorious day today! The is coming up, the leaves are turning their brilliant colors and it's chilly! A perfect fall today. I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday. Today is a Piper, Pumpkin and Puppy Day! Hubb...	Karilynn	10	304	Oct 15, 2006 by leo
	A message from Angel123 (Preview) HI everyone, Sharon, (Angel123) asked me to post that her computer is down. It totally fried. So she won't be available for a while. She will try and get to her son's computer to read her email but that is the best she can do for now. I am praying that HP will provide for her and she will be able...	shadow1	1	565	Oct 14, 2006 by mastiff
	signs of recovery at last (Preview) Through this long saga of the A's mother moving I have been praying to see the moments of recovery. I see them. Apparently the new husband asked the A to move to wherever they live. He is considering it. Before I have to say this I would be mortified he did not consid...	maresie2	1	387	Oct 14, 2006 by athena12
	getting it out (Preview) Things have been kind of topsy turvey the last couple of days. My brother has lung cancer, and for the last 6-8 weeks has gone thru testing. The results have been that it was contained to the left lung and that they would remove the lung. Now out of the blue we have found out that the tes...	greta	4	357	Oct 14, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	detaching by the second (Preview) I swear if I ever ever get into another relationship before I commit I want to look at the family issues. As you all know the As mother decided to get married a few weeks ago. Quite out of the blue. Before then she had been the penltimate widow. She never dated anyone. She went to so...	maresie2	3	393	Oct 14, 2006 by maresie2
	Anonymity question (Preview) Lilms posted about its importance, but I don't really understand it. It feels like I am embarassed or ashamed to need help. I'm proud I attend alanon and am taking care of myself in that manner. I am more grown up than to tell someone else's story or out them, but it feels like the "before" behavior. Can an...	Jill	9	432	Oct 14, 2006 by annah
	Remind me (again) I'm gonna be okay... (Preview) I remember reading from one of our member's "Why do we have to be nice?" Well, dearest, just to prove that I chew my tounge off from biting it.... So yesterday I talked to my neurologist at my counselor's encouragment. Even though the migranes had gotten better they still hadn't gone...	Tiger2006	8	441	Oct 14, 2006 by isabela40
	Survivor guilt? (Preview) Good Morning (((Everyone))) I've been thinking about this concept for a while now and another post brought it to the front of my mind again. I grew up with I guess what you would call hippie parents, not addicts or alcoholics but they definitely took advantage of the times and nothing was hi...	Jennifer	5	407	Oct 14, 2006 by Karilynn
	jelous A (Preview) My A while I was online stated to be that my sponsor was past her bed time. My A doesnt like me talking to my sponsor. Is actually really jelous of me talking to my sponsor. Any suggestions.	purplebutterfly	6	388	Oct 14, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	Definition of H.A.L.T.? (Preview) Would someone explain to me the meaning or definition of the letters H.A.L.T. Thank you!	sld488	4	3117	Oct 13, 2006 by barisax
	Divorce Final Tomorrow. (Preview) I am amazed with all the progress in recovery I have been making. I was able to tell my AH it was time to end it last January. Through recovery, I was able to tell him to go when it got to a point that I was no longer willing to tolerate with relative ease. I didn't have to mean about it.&nbs...	ZiggyDoodles	6	352	Oct 13, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Turning it over to HP (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))))), Good morning. I've been struggling a bit with a few things. Nothing major, but things that have been just causing me a bit of angst. Kind of stuck, not moving foward, etc. Well I went to do my daily mediation reading from Hazelden this mor...	Karilynn	4	295	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	A getaway.... (Preview) ((((Everyone))) After being woken up lastnight by drunk AH and listening to his arrogance and hate words (I sat up but then just went to bed), I woke up this morning and told him goodbye when I left. I asked him if he remembered what happened lastnight. He said, "no, was I messing with you...	hersh	8	278	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	Still here hanging in (Preview) (((Family))) Thanks to all who wrote in their thoughts and feelings to my post on my marriage proposal. I took in each of your points and gave all my concerns, hopes, and dreams to HP. My family has been suprisingly supportive and just basically said all they want is our happiness.&nbs...	twinmom2	3	329	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	I've had just about enough (Preview) Hi everyone, my Abf's friend comes out of rehab next week. He's trouble and my instincts tell me to keep well away from him. But seems he's this great buddy, and he will be around. I have to get used to it! Anyway, I've been really nervous about this for the past few weeks and have not handled it very well. I'...	annmarie	5	465	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	My bottom... (Preview) (((((((Everyone)))))))) You know.... I struggled so much after getting here about if to stay or go or what? I got some wonderful advise about giving it time and when it's right.... I will know. Well, needless to say we had a really bad weekend. I won't go into great detail, but she was...	rtexas	15	552	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	flahsbacks (Preview) My husband died of a brain tumor about 7 years ago. His emotions were out of control due to the tumor and meds he was on. A lot of the time he was unreasonable. I suffered a lot of panic attacks that seemed vaguely familiar. Once, in particular he was haranguing me about the venetian blinds. I started to pan...	bluegrassgal	2	286	Oct 13, 2006 by just me
	hard times (Preview) Hi im Dawn, Ive been coming here for 3 yrs now,without this room i dont know how i would handle this situation.Well anyways my sister had a stroke,alot of brain damage and cant walk or move arm etc......But the warning signs were there her pressure was high she had light flashes in her eyes.I offered h...	rosedawn	4	395	Oct 13, 2006 by just me
	Thought I'd Share this...If it helps someone? Thats all that matters.. (Preview) Letting Go: The Journey for your Life - Letting Go By Barry Elwin-Jones WHAT IS LETTING GO? Letting go can be the most terrifying experience we can have. Letting go means having no support mechanism for our egos. Put simply, when we let go, we trust that everything is going to work out in our best i...	Phil	5	1306	Oct 13, 2006 by hersh
	compassion for the alcoholic (Preview) Hi ((((((friends)))))) I had another bad day Tuesday.Cried all day.But it seems every time I have one of those days I take a step forward after it.I seem to learn from it.This time my eyes have been opened.I think I have found that elusive compassion Alanon tells us to have for alcoholics. Now,kee...	drucilla06	4	669	Oct 13, 2006 by Jill
	Hate me today... (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) I heard a song on the radio this morning on the way to work. I had been ... uh... rocking my therapy I guess. The others on the road hopefully thought I was on my hands free cell phone. LOL Just before I hit the parking lot a song by Blue October came on. I have heard this song hundreds o...	rtexas	7	529	Oct 13, 2006 by kitty
	lonely (Preview) Hi everyone, The thing that always gets me on this board is that so often, others are feeling so similar to me. It is always so comforting to be reminded that I am not alone. Life has been calm lately.(as calm as life with 7 children can be) The kids and I go about our daily lives. My front door is all bu...	Jeannie	6	312	Oct 13, 2006 by Jeannie
	Breaking anonymity (Preview) Hi all, A quick note to remind all of us how important anonymity is to the success of this program. I was at the mall yesterday shopping with my wife. We ran into a mutual acquaintance and stopped to say hi. She is from my f2f group and never let on that I had ever been there bless her. The...	lilms	14	1353	Oct 13, 2006 by lin0606
	new - need some advice! (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new to these boards. I was just married a month ago, and my new AH went into detox and rehab a week ago. I thought everything was going great. I mean, he had some slips in the past, but swore to me he was doing really well, which I believed. I never really thought it was this serious. I am s...	krusland	4	441	Oct 13, 2006 by annmarie
	affection (Preview) Can an A be an affectionate person? I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lack of simple affection is a real issue for me. It causes a lot of problems for me. Maybe I'm too defensive and self protective to allow affection. AM	annmarie	4	299	Oct 13, 2006 by annmarie
	A's worst nightmare (Preview) What was said about Alanon being an A's worst nightmare is true. My husband and I were both asked to speak at an Alanon meeting I didn't attend regularly. When his turn came, he said "Ladies and Gentlemen", you will never no how you are screwing up someone's enjoyment of drinkng by coming to these meetin...	bluegrassgal	4	387	Oct 12, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	How many meetings? (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just curious. I remember when hubby got out of rehab and they stressed 90 meetings in 90 days. (He being the classic over achiever did 90 meetings in 90 minutes lol! still relapsed) My local alanon group never talks about things like that. How many meetings you...	Karilynn	7	501	Oct 12, 2006 by mastiff
	Where would I be... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Where would I be without my AW. Probably in rehab myself or dead. ..... why would I say that. My Father was an active A most of my life. He didn't find sobriety until the fine state of Texas gave him a choice. Go to rehab or go to jail. It was his first...	rtexas	5	367	Oct 12, 2006 by Lakegirl
	My husbands sobriety ends :( (Preview) Well, yesterday was a very difficult day for my husband it was the 2nd anniversary of his mothers death. As you know he is living in a camper after I kicked him out nearly 4 weeks ago. Last night he went to his fathers and then the grave site and said he would call me later. I said okay and went on .. I too...	Tammy	10	339	Oct 12, 2006 by TLC2
	cheating (Preview) Last night I talked to my A for the fist time in almost 2 weeks. He is still using/drinking and is so far in his addiction that its frightening. I am 4000 miles away from our home.. and him and I feel helpless. He told me he loves me and wants to come here to be with me and get help. He says he needs to go but will ca...	rainydayz	7	535	Oct 12, 2006 by isabela40
	Why do we have to be nice? (Preview) Just wondering if someone is verbally abusive to you drunk or not, why must we "not say it mean"? Don't you think that sometimes a cold hard word is effective at making someone stop to think? I don't mean just to be hurtful but to say what is true whether it hurts or not. IE I don'...	carolinagirl	10	465	Oct 12, 2006 by Diva
	Need ESH Desperately, please.... (Preview) I cannot get very detailed right now as my time is in short supply at the moment, but I am in some seriously desperate need of ESH. My A has decided to attempt getting sober. I don't know what precipitated this epiphany and I won't question it. So far he's made two AA meetings...	CoffeeBean3	8	415	Oct 12, 2006 by debilyn
	slipped a little, i guess (Preview) Well, I did go ahead and tell my A that I was going to put myself in Al-Anon again. I figured it was safe to call him since he had been over the other day to fix something in the house and we were nice to each other. So I told him about the bill collectors who keep...	jaja	2	352	Oct 12, 2006 by debilyn
	Said what I mean...but didn't say it mean (Preview) Sunday,after a month long rollercoaster binge of alcohol and drugs, I asked my A to make a choice...enter rehab (again) or move out of my house and life. So of course the routine went...anger, denial, and today...quiet submissiveness. He called at work to pretend like I was just "over reacting" and I...	kicky	4	413	Oct 12, 2006 by Jerry F
	his buddy (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you will help me to see this situation more clearly. I feel I am just going round in circles at the moment. My bf has not been drinking for a few weeks now and we are getting on well. He is not on a programme though, and has no intention of staying sober. We have had some good times recen...	annmarie	4	284	Oct 12, 2006 by annmarie
	Obsession.... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Happy Tuesday! I just thought of something so weird today. I am getting so much stronger. It was an up and down weekend, sounds like everyone here had one too. BUT, I was thinking today how much stronger I am than before, and how much I obsessed with AH's eve...	hersh	5	268	Oct 12, 2006 by rainydayz
	Tired to the Bone (Preview) I am tired. So tired of dealing. With him, with myself, with my job, everything. I just want to sleep. My house is a mess. We have no clean clothes. The fridge is a mess. Dishes in the sink. Dishes in the drainer. I just come home, try to cope, go to work, come home...	Becky1	7	398	Oct 11, 2006 by artygirl
	When I am right ..... (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) My A has taken to making comments od "When I am right ... I Will date you again" I will have another house" be happy" Usually i can hear these things and just let them go. The I will date you again comment really got me thinking though. In the last year or so I have been told I w...	Jennifer	3	396	Oct 11, 2006 by Lunamoth
	GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! (Preview) Okay, So yesterday I posted and it was all sweet and light. I truly believe that stuff, really I do but right at the moment I just wanna run far far away. I am tired of never knowing when my home is going to be invaded. The A is here, has been using, has made a mess and because she is not my chil...	lilms	3	292	Oct 11, 2006 by peewee
	Today I have to remember (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Today I been saying the S prayer quite a bit. Especially "... the courage to change the things I can". I am so tired. I had to remind myself today that I was having suicidal daydreams, like subconcious plans when I found this program. I have to keep remindin...	rtexas	7	429	Oct 11, 2006 by Lunamoth
	From the mouths of babes (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Last night, my AW who is caught in a tough spot of making a decission if she is to go to rehab or go out on her own. The throws of that turned into a horrible scene last night that got loud and physical. Unfortunately (but not supprising) our 11 yr old son walked in...	rtexas	4	410	Oct 11, 2006 by just me
	Sobriety brings resentment (Preview) AH is beginning day 2. This time he isn't going through heavy-duty withdrawal, which is nice. BUT...it drives me nuts that when he is drinking he can just drop all responsibility. I do everything (run business, clean house, pay bills, cook, take care of child, mow grass). Then when he is sober for a day...	babysteps	5	493	Oct 11, 2006 by kingston
	UPDATE !! (Preview) Today is the 2nd anniversary of the death of my mother in law and the day my life really started going downhill. My husband found his mother dead that day and his drinking became out of control and has not improved since. I have left my husband more than once during the last two years only to return to pro...	Tammy	3	277	Oct 11, 2006 by JulieLynn
	New Here (Preview) I really don't know where to begin. Please bear with me...this is going to get long. I began noticing that my husband had a drinking problem about 2 or so years ago, after his first seizure (caused by withdrawl we now know). That was followed over the next year or so by 2 more withdrawl ind...	Nette	7	297	Oct 11, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Horrible f2f meeting ADVICE PLEASE! (Preview) I have been going off and on to a f2f mtg in my area. it is a small town and there's only 1 and they meet once a week. There are always the same 5 adults and 1 teen there. Last meeting there were as many kids as adults and the entire meeting was run by one of the kids as an alateen meeting.&nbs...	carolinagirl	10	524	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	I want to live not merely survive.... (Preview) Hi Alanon friends, I haven't posted in awhile. No big drama with my AHsober. We have been separated a year physically; 2 years since he said he wanted out of the marriage. He fades further and further into the background by his choice. He promises to call but forgets. He makes plans to meet and then som...	nmike	5	492	Oct 11, 2006 by drucilla06
	Frustrated with my brother (Preview) My brother has been labelled by himself and others as an alcoholic. Maybe I am speaking from the position of not understanding the disease - but what it looks like to me is that he is just a very immature individual who can't say no to a party. He "dried out" 2 years ago at a centre for one mon...	Tamiele	2	245	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	needing to be reminded (Preview) Thank you for all the comments and input. Alcoholics are not the only ones who can fall off the wagon. We can too if we neglect to work the program like I have. One of the comments was about grief I might still be harboring for my husband. I am grieving but not so much for my husband. I lost my sister a coup...	bluegrassgal	3	381	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	boundries (Preview) i brought up the "say what you mean but don't say it mean" thing last night at my meeting. i am having a hard time with stating my boundries and consequently i am becoming full of resentment and the old anger and hurts are threatening to come spilling out. my ex has been spending all his time here with me and...	serendipity	4	295	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Asked my A to leave...again. (Preview) After my last post, I took in all the great responses and realized I was kidding myself if I could practice ignoring the ill-behavior of my A. I love the principals of alanon. I tried to work on myself and enjoy my life even if my A was still actively "alcoholish." But after this weekend of disrespectfuln...	kicky	4	312	Oct 11, 2006 by annmarie
	Feeling guilty (Preview) Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but read here everyday, and get so much from other peoples words of wisdom, it helps to come here and know that I am not alone in this problem and be able to get a bit of insite to how others deal with their day to day lives with their A's. I&n...	acjmom	2	281	Oct 11, 2006 by rtexas
	How strong is the addiction (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Wow, this is going to be a rough road I believe. It reminds me of when my youngest son was starting to sleep in his own room by himself. He stalled, and cried, and screamed and it was absolutely heart wrenching. But, you know he wasn't in pain, he just didn't w...	rtexas	8	378	Oct 11, 2006 by twinmom2
	question: al anon and the A (Preview) Do you think it is not such a good thing to let the A know that you are in AL-ANON? I ask this because I am just getting back into meetings and at this time my A is not aware of that. While I know he'll drink no matter what if he's so compelled and my going to meetings doesn't matter to him any...	jaja	8	414	Oct 11, 2006 by Karilynn
	aha moment - ive been letting my boss make me nuts! (Preview) just finally had an aha moment - and if anyone can extend on this please do so We got a new boss a few years ago. I worked in my job for several years before she was hired. It seems like she plays favorites, is not very available, hardly ever in the office, spends hours shopping for supplies, etc. It...	Barbara	3	313	Oct 11, 2006 by isabela40
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.