Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

QOD · QOD

Hey everyone - I just wanted to let you know that I am feeling much better today. I am coming out of my gloom from yesterday. When I got off of work, I had a good 30 minute cry in the car on my way to pick up my daughter from my sister's house. I felt much better after that. And I did lots of thinking too. I deci...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Hi Alanon Family, One of the two aunts I have been caring for over the last 2 1/2 years abruptly began an argument wtih me. It was over a blouse that she claimed her friend in the senior citizen complex gave her. I gently suggested to her that I had purchased it downstairs in the consignment store because...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, In a previous post I spoke of the Open House for our new business building tomorrow and my concern that my AHsober's affair (an active A) will be there. Ultimately, I was hoping it was a fear -based hypothetical situation. Well, he asked me today if she were to show up with her friend (also a f...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) Been quite an intense week for me. I am looking back at a lot of things in my life. Things that have happened, good and bad. Things I have done, or not done, should have or could have. People I have had in my life or have in my life today. I done something the other day I wou...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

You're never too old to grow up. --Shirley Conran A child's view of adults is that they have arrived at some fixed point where they are emancipated and have all the tools necessary for life. An adult knows that we never stop growing. Many of us have been stuck in an immature level of development. Our life...

kissers · kissers

http://www.khlt.homestead.com/cap-archives.html

debilyn · debilyn

You know how we say we wish we did not love them anymore? It has happened to me. I cannot find it inside me anymore. It has made me feel pretty empty. Felt good to love him for thirty seven years. I have never known a time of not loving and longing for him. I know him living with that gross woman has really broke...

Kim65 · Kim65

I've been waking up in the morning afraid. By the time I have my coffee and get going for the day, I feel a little more together. Somedays are pretty good, there's much that needs doing around here and I put a dent in it. Other days I finish morning chores and take a long nap. I read Debilyn's post this mo...

2getoverit · 2getoverit

Hi howdy, I hope it is all good for all y'all and hopefully it is here also. I got to the log in for here and processed that log differently and here I am yippee!! Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be broken, - lol - I'm just in from the garden, we r coming up on a full moon and it seems a fine time to giv...

wp · wp

I am wondering if disloyalty within a family is a common symptom of ACOA. I get so angry and upset when a person in the family that you have trusted, lets another member down. Or am I confusing codependency with disloyalty? Something happened that I don't take lightly, and I feel that ..well, here I go...

Grateful Member Checking in · Cucamonga

Hi all, Just checking in to say I'm alive and kickin. And wanting to make sure that I don't relapse back to who I was before the healing hands of Alanon. Just getting in from the Airport after a week long family vacation to Chicago. Be well all. -- Edited by Cucamonga at 05:33, 2007-07-28

QOD · QOD

Oh I am in a gloom, a real funk. Ever have one of those days where you wish you could just climb in bed with the lights out, bury your head in the pillows and just wish the world away for a while? Kind of where I am at today. I hate this feeling. It makes my stomach hurt, my body tired and I feel like I am having...

Loupiness · Loupiness

... but I don't know how. I feel I am too new in the program to not sabotage myself once again. Perhaps I am preparing for a situation based strictly on fear, but I feel I need to for my own integrity. On Sunday, we will be having an Open House for our business at our new location. We made certain that my AHso...

newlyFREE · newlyFREE

Hi Alanon Family! I have been reading this site for a while, but have never written anything here. Part of the reason was because I was so depressed about my situation living with an active alcoholic. I felt hopeless and ashamed. Who would want to read about my sad story? I have made so many mistakes,...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Some of you know that I interviewed for an americorps position in AZ.I didn't hear back from them and I'm fairly certain I didn't get the position. I was very upset as I really wanted this position. But I do have some good news. Today I'm interviewing for another, seperate position in Indy, IN. I'm nerv...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

When I woke up this morning (before the kids woke up) I laid in my bed and just looked at the ceiling. I thought of where my life was and where I am at now. Then I thought about some of you who are in the midst of the alcoholism and are confused. When I think back seven years ago and the hell I was in it feels like...

Kim65 · Kim65

and surprising. I ran to the little store in town this morning for gas and passed the A coming out of the store. We were both shocked for a second or two, then he grinned at me . . . his best "Hi, Sweetheart" sort of grin. The one that made my knees weak way back when we began dating. I looked away...

maresie2 · maresie2

For the last 5 years I have been in a terrible depression. I felt so burned and so ignored by the A. For him it was all his friends, his family, his work, his everything. There was no "us". There were times when I tried to set limits on his friends taking over our house and he absolutely slaughter...

summergrl83 · summergrl83

This is my first post, although I've been enjoying reading other posts for quite some time.. I am in a 2 yr relationship with my A, who has been in rehab for a month and gets back next week. I went to a family program during which I learned a LOT about the disease which made me both relieved and scared. Reliev...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

The only thing that ever stays the same is:CHANGE One day at a time.Christine

alanon_2002 · alanon_2002

Once I had a dream or maybe more...i am in the corner but the tears wont come out. They are stuck inside. I have no friends. I have no self. I am not anything. I look blankly at everything. 2 or more tears fall without expression. I am useless with no background. i am not I but the little kid inside that h...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I talked to the big boss at work and the problem is not so bad anymore. That was my worst dread was talking to the director and it is done with and everything is on the table. What a relief. I am still ready to move next month looking forward to our new apartment and the POOL!!! I still have many things I ne...

QOD · QOD

I have been fuming since yesterday afternoon. My AH's grandma called me at work to talk. She said she never gets the chance b/c either my AH is at her house or my house or his mom is at her house. She can't talk to me openly with them around. The poor woman just lost her husband back in Jan and has been batt...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello MIP Friends, Just felt like I needed to reach out to you all this afternoon to ask anyone who is willing to say some prayers for a good friend of mine and AH's. This friend has been apart of my AH's life a lot longer than I have. They've been through a great deal together. They have also been drinkin...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I'm working out of town this week, so had the opportunity last night to attend "cake night" at the Treatment Center where my ex-A-wife got sober five years ago.... I hadn't been back there for years, but 'cake night' is a celebration of sobriety, where people come up front and receive thei...

flower · flower

So I have done the recovery route, and the non-recovery. 2 years no alanon, here I am back. I have become depressed and no good for my kids. I lost my job to "downsizing" 3 years ago, we took money and investged in real estate and the market fell apart. We have rentals that will not sell, and...

gimmpy · gimmpy

it just never seems to end with my 19 year old. Since getting fired from her job for stealing and being late, she has twice gotten caught shop lifting. she has admitted that it is a compulsion, perhaps, she still doesn't see drinking and drugging to be related. anyhow my question now is should I contin...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I feel like I am Charlie Brown and my AHsober is Lucy holding the football. Every time I think it is going to be different, that I can trust and kick the football, it gets pulled away and I land flat on my back. I think it is time to put away the ball... On my way to a f2f meeting tonight I took off my wedding rin...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

I am feeling like I am at a dead end in my marriage right now. I need to vent and I know that most of you will be understanding. Why do addicts have to make everything that is wrong look like it is all our faults? And the lies..... I hate the lying. A friend told me last night that my AH told her that I h...

NewMary · NewMary

I NEVER thought this could happen to me. 5 months ago I forced my AH out of the house because of his violent tendacies and the new crack habit he had begun when he drinks. He said it was his big wake up call and quit everything. I wanted to maintain our separation longer to see if he would stay sober but then h...

nmike · nmike

My summer has been driving to take care of my mom after surgery. It was touch and go for awhile. My family targeted me as the cause of everyone's angst. My oldest son whose in the military is very sick and we don't know why. And my AHsober who moved out 2 years ago and keeps hammering about a divorce. Today I w...

rita m · rita m

hello, I have been making f to f meetings again and discovered this board very recently, and am grateful to have both. I wrote on here about a week ago about this woman who I have been friends with in the past and now once again. My husband butt in yrs ago and wanted me to stop talking to her, and I did, I reall...

maresie2 · maresie2

i had a light bulb moment this morning when I realised so much of what I am dealing with with theA is withdrawal. One of the great things about a crash for the A is that all his druggie friends have deserted him including his brother who is a total addict. I think much of the A's behavior can be chalked up to to...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well it has been rough here lately. I found a place to live YAY!! Other than that, my kids have been sick and still are so the whole month was basically a loss to sickness for either me or them. I am feeling unmotivated about packing and selling and getting rid of stuff and moving in general. I have been...

maresie2 · maresie2

Right now the A is housed albeit in a very raw fashion. The place is at is not working out and I am not freaking out. He had yet another accident in the truck last week which plain wore me out for a bit. At the same time I regrouped from that and detached pretty quickly. One way I did that was to just hold myself b...

Nedsaid · Nedsaid

My A is very functional. Doesn't miss work, pays the bills, works in the yard (alot so he's not drinking directly in front of me), only drinks beer, doesn't pass out, drunk drive, hit or cheat. These are not my excuses for him. These are his reasons for why he does not have a problem. My problem is bei...

QOD · QOD

Now that I am back from my vacation, I am having to work on my boundries BIG TIME. My AH is trying to work his way back in. I refuse to let it happen though. For example: He came over Saturday afternoon when we got home to visit with the kids. I was bustling around the house trying to get it clean and put va...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, I have shared before about the guilt tripping and manipulation my grandmother pulls. Well, she tried again and I used the tools of the program. She came knocking on my door this evening. She knew she was wrong and there was no need for me to point it out to her. I am not her HP. It was so nice not t...

Leetle · Leetle

I am trying to deal with how my decisions are affecting my daughter. I recently started going to counseling with my qualifier (her father). Once we decided this, he moved back in. That lasted about a week before I felt my boundaries were being stepped all over and I told him that I didn't think we shou...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I was reading, for about the hundredth time here, another derogatory comment towards "cookie cutter" responses. I get tired of the insinuation that somehow those who feel they have the strength and/or knowledge to tell others what they should or should not be doing are better than th...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

sometimes I get stuck in a time warp. I forget that what others say, think, or do doesn't HAVE to affect me unless I let it. I have control over my mood, my circumstances, how I let people treat me, the actions I take to assume responsibility for my life, whereas I didn't have that control when I was a child....

serendipity · serendipity

My "cousin" ( my parent's goddaughter who is my age and I grew up with as the only family) told me via email today that she has intentionally cut ties with me and my kids because she feels that I was not there for her while she had been having problems with her 16 yr. old daughter. I was shocked, h...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I've spoke with ah a few times today and he never said Happy Anniversary. Even though it really means nothing to me at this point I just wondered if he'd even make that a priority. Nope. Seven years today. Is it wierd to not feel married? The distance between us (four hours) and him not showing up for three...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) Today AH has 90 days sobriety. We have had 90 days before, but I will say this 90 days looks different than the other's. We are both working recovery programs today; which is much different than before. I feel like I have grown alot in these past 3 months. I've had to process through...

mstrixe2 · mstrixe2

I find myself in the situation where my husband is fast approaching his year anniversery of sobriety. Me, on the other hand have spent the past year having a affair,smoking alot of weed, being angry at him and just not knowing what to do with myself. Where do I even start to recover? and where can I find th...

gaelle · gaelle

It was agreed the kids would sleep to their father (now, next door neighbour) for the weekend and I thought it was the right time to repaint their bedroom. The kids helped me all day and after dinner time, they went to their father all happy of spending the night there and excited about their 'new' bedroo...

canadianguy · canadianguy

In a reflective mood today..... sitting here, some five years after ending my marriage to my A-wife after ten years..... She has recently received her 5-year sobriety cake, and life carries on.... We certainly aren't friendly, as our relationship is best described as "strained", as...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

We survived Saturday's dinner with my Brother-in-law. It was --geeze I'm not sure what it was. Sat. my Ah was suppose to stop by to help with the weedeating around the house, he'd been saying that he was going to stop by for a month so I wasn't really banking on it only the odds were better since he knew hi...

lmt123 · lmt123

I found this on an AA website, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to mention other sites here, so I won't. If anyone knows if I'm allowed to, please drop me a line and I'll post the website. I really found this to be applicable to anyone, whether or not in AA or Alanon. If a dog was your teacher, you would learn:...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I know for alot of our members--at least the new ones--boundries are a confusing concept. My buddist sponsor called'em "psycho babble with bubbles for substance." But one thing she & I agreed on is that saying no, then keeping with it is a powerful action. It's choosing what to keep...

Rora · Rora

I am very early in my journey.....Still...LOL My Ah and I have been living apart for nearly one month. We've been married 5 years. We've had many seperations in the past as well. We've been having regular contact, being as we have a 3yr old awesome boy together! That's complicated. I would very much...

lilms · lilms

(((((Mip Family))))) Got this in my in-box and had to send it on. I can just picture this happening. Hope it brings a smile lilms The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is th...

Chetch · Chetch

I really lost it with my AH on Friday. I had had a same day surgery procedure, which he took me to, and I slept all day on the couch recovering. When I woke up I went to the fridge to get some iced tea and what do I find but a bottle of vodka. He had promised me two weeks ago that he was quitting and would never br...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

It must be almost 2 months since I've had time to read the posts on this board, let alone update you all on my situation with my ex A b/f My relationship with my ex has been (this may sound corny) SPECTACULAR!! As you may remember, I decided to set some rules in our relationship and those "rules"...

janey225 · janey225

I haven't been on here in a while. But I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. My AH went into an inpatient alcohol rehab place on thursday. He will be there for a minimum of21 days. He made the decision to go. He called and got the insurance information to see if they would pay. Then he cal...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I haven't been thinking too much about alanonfor a few weeks or more. I guess I just got tired of things not changing, me not changing. Another member of my AH's family died from alcohol, this one was younger then him. Her story was so paralell to his, I thought he had to think about it a little bit. but no, h...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Just thought I'd share a funny family moment we had tonight. My AH sober called this evening to see what we had planned. I told him we were going to go swimming at a friend's house and he decided to meet us there and join us. We had a great time and he came back to the house for some blackberry crisp. The older k...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Everyone, I have gone to great lengths to keep our family struggles private for a miriad of reasons - to protect my children, my AH's professional reputation, our privately owned business in this oh so small town (thus our livlihood), and as much as I hate to admit it, my pride. For these reasons, I...

tryingtoheal · tryingtoheal

My AH (we are seperated and I'm starting on divorce papers) was sober for 20 years but started drinking again 2 years ago. I found signs that he was cheating , I know he lied to me and our boys told me that he had to leave for the sake of our family . I found out last week that he has girlfriend, which was so hard....

boo · boo

My older A child is in jail. I've been in a lot of pain since I found out and this is an awakening time for me. My A child is going thru a messy divorce and it was domestic violence and still is that way and there is a small child involved. My A has been drinking and using RX as I know for years and not using t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling much better today. (Preview) Hey everyone - I just wanted to let you know that I am feeling much better today. I am coming out of my gloom from yesterday. When I got off of work, I had a good 30 minute cry in the car on my way to pick up my daughter from my sister's house. I felt much better after that. And I did lots of thinking too. I deci...	QOD	7	486	Jul 30, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Did my best_I'm nobody's convenience (Preview) Hi Alanon Family, One of the two aunts I have been caring for over the last 2 1/2 years abruptly began an argument wtih me. It was over a blouse that she claimed her friend in the senior citizen complex gave her. I gently suggested to her that I had purchased it downstairs in the consignment store because...	NANUKE	7	581	Jul 30, 2007 by getoverit
	Unbelievable? No, not really.... (Preview) Hi Friends, In a previous post I spoke of the Open House for our new business building tomorrow and my concern that my AHsober's affair (an active A) will be there. Ultimately, I was hoping it was a fear -based hypothetical situation. Well, he asked me today if she were to show up with her friend (also a f...	Loupiness	8	660	Jul 30, 2007 by Loupiness
	FEELING LOST (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) Been quite an intense week for me. I am looking back at a lot of things in my life. Things that have happened, good and bad. Things I have done, or not done, should have or could have. People I have had in my life or have in my life today. I done something the other day I wou...	ally	8	582	Jul 29, 2007 by 2getoverit
	Maturity and growth (Preview) You're never too old to grow up. --Shirley Conran A child's view of adults is that they have arrived at some fixed point where they are emancipated and have all the tools necessary for life. An adult knows that we never stop growing. Many of us have been stuck in an immature level of development. Our life...	Tiger2006	2	442	Jul 29, 2007 by weggie
	Recovery Radio (Preview) http://www.khlt.homestead.com/cap-archives.html	kissers	0	262	Jul 29, 2007 by kissers
	When our wish comes true, it hurts (Preview) You know how we say we wish we did not love them anymore? It has happened to me. I cannot find it inside me anymore. It has made me feel pretty empty. Felt good to love him for thirty seven years. I have never known a time of not loving and longing for him. I know him living with that gross woman has really broke...	debilyn	6	594	Jul 28, 2007 by Demilas
	Emptiness (Preview) I've been waking up in the morning afraid. By the time I have my coffee and get going for the day, I feel a little more together. Somedays are pretty good, there's much that needs doing around here and I put a dent in it. Other days I finish morning chores and take a long nap. I read Debilyn's post this mo...	Kim65	12	823	Jul 28, 2007 by Jen
	I made it in - whew (Preview) Hi howdy, I hope it is all good for all y'all and hopefully it is here also. I got to the log in for here and processed that log differently and here I am yippee!! Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be broken, - lol - I'm just in from the garden, we r coming up on a full moon and it seems a fine time to giv...	2getoverit	5	428	Jul 28, 2007 by belle1
	loyalty and disloyalty ACOA (Preview) I am wondering if disloyalty within a family is a common symptom of ACOA. I get so angry and upset when a person in the family that you have trusted, lets another member down. Or am I confusing codependency with disloyalty? Something happened that I don't take lightly, and I feel that ..well, here I go...	wp	5	817	Jul 28, 2007 by drucilla06
	Grateful Member Checking in (Preview) Hi all, Just checking in to say I'm alive and kickin. And wanting to make sure that I don't relapse back to who I was before the healing hands of Alanon. Just getting in from the Airport after a week long family vacation to Chicago. Be well all. -- Edited by Cucamonga at 05:33, 2007-07-28	Cucamonga	3	386	Jul 28, 2007 by drucilla06
	I am in a gloom! (Preview) Oh I am in a gloom, a real funk. Ever have one of those days where you wish you could just climb in bed with the lights out, bury your head in the pillows and just wish the world away for a while? Kind of where I am at today. I hate this feeling. It makes my stomach hurt, my body tired and I feel like I am having...	QOD	8	623	Jul 28, 2007 by mhgal
	I Need To Stick Up For Myself (Preview) ... but I don't know how. I feel I am too new in the program to not sabotage myself once again. Perhaps I am preparing for a situation based strictly on fear, but I feel I need to for my own integrity. On Sunday, we will be having an Open House for our business at our new location. We made certain that my AHso...	Loupiness	7	520	Jul 28, 2007 by Loupiness
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hi Alanon Family! I have been reading this site for a while, but have never written anything here. Part of the reason was because I was so depressed about my situation living with an active alcoholic. I felt hopeless and ashamed. Who would want to read about my sad story? I have made so many mistakes,...	newlyFREE	4	541	Jul 28, 2007 by lin0606
	Just sharing some good news (Preview) Some of you know that I interviewed for an americorps position in AZ.I didn't hear back from them and I'm fairly certain I didn't get the position. I was very upset as I really wanted this position. But I do have some good news. Today I'm interviewing for another, seperate position in Indy, IN. I'm nerv...	Tiger2006	3	399	Jul 27, 2007 by ally
	I thought of my MIP family this morning. (Preview) When I woke up this morning (before the kids woke up) I laid in my bed and just looked at the ceiling. I thought of where my life was and where I am at now. Then I thought about some of you who are in the midst of the alcoholism and are confused. When I think back seven years ago and the hell I was in it feels like...	Friendofyours	4	701	Jul 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Feelings are so weird . . . (Preview) and surprising. I ran to the little store in town this morning for gas and passed the A coming out of the store. We were both shocked for a second or two, then he grinned at me . . . his best "Hi, Sweetheart" sort of grin. The one that made my knees weak way back when we began dating. I looked away...	Kim65	9	1859	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	Letting the feelings come up and just wash through me (Preview) For the last 5 years I have been in a terrible depression. I felt so burned and so ignored by the A. For him it was all his friends, his family, his work, his everything. There was no "us". There were times when I tried to set limits on his friends taking over our house and he absolutely slaughter...	maresie2	5	463	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	Life after rehab..hopeful and scared (Preview) This is my first post, although I've been enjoying reading other posts for quite some time.. I am in a 2 yr relationship with my A, who has been in rehab for a month and gets back next week. I went to a family program during which I learned a LOT about the disease which made me both relieved and scared. Reliev...	summergrl83	7	540	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	change (Preview) The only thing that ever stays the same is:CHANGE One day at a time.Christine	CAM0914	2	445	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	I am not me (Preview) Once I had a dream or maybe more...i am in the corner but the tears wont come out. They are stuck inside. I have no friends. I have no self. I am not anything. I look blankly at everything. 2 or more tears fall without expression. I am useless with no background. i am not I but the little kid inside that h...	alanon_2002	5	527	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	Things are looking up (Preview) I talked to the big boss at work and the problem is not so bad anymore. That was my worst dread was talking to the director and it is done with and everything is on the table. What a relief. I am still ready to move next month looking forward to our new apartment and the POOL!!! I still have many things I ne...	carolinagirl	4	526	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	More fuel to the fire! (Preview) I have been fuming since yesterday afternoon. My AH's grandma called me at work to talk. She said she never gets the chance b/c either my AH is at her house or my house or his mom is at her house. She can't talk to me openly with them around. The poor woman just lost her husband back in Jan and has been batt...	QOD	10	548	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	Prayers Needed for A Friend (Preview) Hello MIP Friends, Just felt like I needed to reach out to you all this afternoon to ask anyone who is willing to say some prayers for a good friend of mine and AH's. This friend has been apart of my AH's life a lot longer than I have. They've been through a great deal together. They have also been drinkin...	twinmom2	5	438	Jul 26, 2007 by carosie
	Cake Night (Preview) I'm working out of town this week, so had the opportunity last night to attend "cake night" at the Treatment Center where my ex-A-wife got sober five years ago.... I hadn't been back there for years, but 'cake night' is a celebration of sobriety, where people come up front and receive thei...	canadianguy	6	491	Jul 26, 2007 by jrtjosey
	When is enough enough (Preview) So I have done the recovery route, and the non-recovery. 2 years no alanon, here I am back. I have become depressed and no good for my kids. I lost my job to "downsizing" 3 years ago, we took money and investged in real estate and the market fell apart. We have rentals that will not sell, and...	flower	6	639	Jul 26, 2007 by QOD
	stealing often go with drinking and using? (Preview) it just never seems to end with my 19 year old. Since getting fired from her job for stealing and being late, she has twice gotten caught shop lifting. she has admitted that it is a compulsion, perhaps, she still doesn't see drinking and drugging to be related. anyhow my question now is should I contin...	gimmpy	3	522	Jul 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Good Ol' Charlie Brown... (Preview) I feel like I am Charlie Brown and my AHsober is Lucy holding the football. Every time I think it is going to be different, that I can trust and kick the football, it gets pulled away and I land flat on my back. I think it is time to put away the ball... On my way to a f2f meeting tonight I took off my wedding rin...	Loupiness	2	584	Jul 26, 2007 by tryingtoheal
	Are addicts really capable of changing? (Preview) I am feeling like I am at a dead end in my marriage right now. I need to vent and I know that most of you will be understanding. Why do addicts have to make everything that is wrong look like it is all our faults? And the lies..... I hate the lying. A friend told me last night that my AH told her that I h...	Denoraphy	8	634	Jul 26, 2007 by nmike
	Relapsed & Accident & Jail (Preview) I NEVER thought this could happen to me. 5 months ago I forced my AH out of the house because of his violent tendacies and the new crack habit he had begun when he drinks. He said it was his big wake up call and quit everything. I wanted to maintain our separation longer to see if he would stay sober but then h...	NewMary	14	597	Jul 26, 2007 by lmt123
	What else could go wrong? (Preview) My summer has been driving to take care of my mom after surgery. It was touch and go for awhile. My family targeted me as the cause of everyone's angst. My oldest son whose in the military is very sick and we don't know why. And my AHsober who moved out 2 years ago and keeps hammering about a divorce. Today I w...	nmike	9	596	Jul 25, 2007 by Leetle
	my codependency is really kicking in (Preview) hello, I have been making f to f meetings again and discovered this board very recently, and am grateful to have both. I wrote on here about a week ago about this woman who I have been friends with in the past and now once again. My husband butt in yrs ago and wanted me to stop talking to her, and I did, I reall...	rita m	10	617	Jul 25, 2007 by CriedOut2
	dealing with withdrawal (Preview) i had a light bulb moment this morning when I realised so much of what I am dealing with with theA is withdrawal. One of the great things about a crash for the A is that all his druggie friends have deserted him including his brother who is a total addict. I think much of the A's behavior can be chalked up to to...	maresie2	4	603	Jul 25, 2007 by maresie2
	Hard times lately (Preview) Well it has been rough here lately. I found a place to live YAY!! Other than that, my kids have been sick and still are so the whole month was basically a loss to sickness for either me or them. I am feeling unmotivated about packing and selling and getting rid of stuff and moving in general. I have been...	carolinagirl	4	446	Jul 25, 2007 by maresie2
	taking care of myself (Preview) Right now the A is housed albeit in a very raw fashion. The place is at is not working out and I am not freaking out. He had yet another accident in the truck last week which plain wore me out for a bit. At the same time I regrouped from that and detached pretty quickly. One way I did that was to just hold myself b...	maresie2	4	448	Jul 25, 2007 by QOD
	Whose still married? (Preview) My A is very functional. Doesn't miss work, pays the bills, works in the yard (alot so he's not drinking directly in front of me), only drinks beer, doesn't pass out, drunk drive, hit or cheat. These are not my excuses for him. These are his reasons for why he does not have a problem. My problem is bei...	Nedsaid	19	677	Jul 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Working on my boundries (Preview) Now that I am back from my vacation, I am having to work on my boundries BIG TIME. My AH is trying to work his way back in. I refuse to let it happen though. For example: He came over Saturday afternoon when we got home to visit with the kids. I was bustling around the house trying to get it clean and put va...	QOD	6	489	Jul 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Unconditional Love (Preview) Hi everyone, I have shared before about the guilt tripping and manipulation my grandmother pulls. Well, she tried again and I used the tools of the program. She came knocking on my door this evening. She knew she was wrong and there was no need for me to point it out to her. I am not her HP. It was so nice not t...	kissers	1	288	Jul 25, 2007 by annmarie
	How do you deal with how this is affecting your kids??? (Preview) I am trying to deal with how my decisions are affecting my daughter. I recently started going to counseling with my qualifier (her father). Once we decided this, he moved back in. That lasted about a week before I felt my boundaries were being stepped all over and I told him that I didn't think we shou...	Leetle	7	542	Jul 25, 2007 by nmike
	I am a proud "cookie cutter" (Preview) I was reading, for about the hundredth time here, another derogatory comment towards "cookie cutter" responses. I get tired of the insinuation that somehow those who feel they have the strength and/or knowledge to tell others what they should or should not be doing are better than th...	canadianguy	22	2046	Jul 24, 2007 by debilyn
	how old am I again? (Preview) sometimes I get stuck in a time warp. I forget that what others say, think, or do doesn't HAVE to affect me unless I let it. I have control over my mood, my circumstances, how I let people treat me, the actions I take to assume responsibility for my life, whereas I didn't have that control when I was a child....	seekingserenity	3	483	Jul 24, 2007 by lmt123
	It has to be me (Preview) My "cousin" ( my parent's goddaughter who is my age and I grew up with as the only family) told me via email today that she has intentionally cut ties with me and my kids because she feels that I was not there for her while she had been having problems with her 16 yr. old daughter. I was shocked, h...	serendipity	10	587	Jul 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	"Happy" Anniversary? (Preview) I've spoke with ah a few times today and he never said Happy Anniversary. Even though it really means nothing to me at this point I just wondered if he'd even make that a priority. Nope. Seven years today. Is it wierd to not feel married? The distance between us (four hours) and him not showing up for three...	Friendofyours	8	2128	Jul 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	90 days sober today (Preview) (((MIP Family))) Today AH has 90 days sobriety. We have had 90 days before, but I will say this 90 days looks different than the other's. We are both working recovery programs today; which is much different than before. I feel like I have grown alot in these past 3 months. I've had to process through...	twinmom2	6	687	Jul 24, 2007 by lin0606
	left behind (Preview) I find myself in the situation where my husband is fast approaching his year anniversery of sobriety. Me, on the other hand have spent the past year having a affair,smoking alot of weed, being angry at him and just not knowing what to do with myself. Where do I even start to recover? and where can I find th...	mstrixe2	5	596	Jul 24, 2007 by twinkie
	What do you tell your kids? (Preview) It was agreed the kids would sleep to their father (now, next door neighbour) for the weekend and I thought it was the right time to repaint their bedroom. The kids helped me all day and after dinner time, they went to their father all happy of spending the night there and excited about their 'new' bedroo...	gaelle	10	659	Jul 24, 2007 by gaelle
	Alcoholism has been my excuse.... (Preview) In a reflective mood today..... sitting here, some five years after ending my marriage to my A-wife after ten years..... She has recently received her 5-year sobriety cake, and life carries on.... We certainly aren't friendly, as our relationship is best described as "strained", as...	canadianguy	10	719	Jul 24, 2007 by kismetstrand
	My Saturday.... (Preview) We survived Saturday's dinner with my Brother-in-law. It was --geeze I'm not sure what it was. Sat. my Ah was suppose to stop by to help with the weedeating around the house, he'd been saying that he was going to stop by for a month so I wasn't really banking on it only the odds were better since he knew hi...	Lunamoth	2	414	Jul 24, 2007 by beaulahg
	Humor to lighten your day... (Preview) I found this on an AA website, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to mention other sites here, so I won't. If anyone knows if I'm allowed to, please drop me a line and I'll post the website. I really found this to be applicable to anyone, whether or not in AA or Alanon. If a dog was your teacher, you would learn:...	lmt123	8	696	Jul 24, 2007 by carolena
	Long term benefits (sorta) of boundries (Preview) I know for alot of our members--at least the new ones--boundries are a confusing concept. My buddist sponsor called'em "psycho babble with bubbles for substance." But one thing she & I agreed on is that saying no, then keeping with it is a powerful action. It's choosing what to keep...	Tiger2006	4	539	Jul 24, 2007 by carolena
	To detach with love... (Preview) I am very early in my journey.....Still...LOL My Ah and I have been living apart for nearly one month. We've been married 5 years. We've had many seperations in the past as well. We've been having regular contact, being as we have a 3yr old awesome boy together! That's complicated. I would very much...	Rora	6	606	Jul 24, 2007 by carolena
	Every now and then we have to laugh (Preview) (((((Mip Family))))) Got this in my in-box and had to send it on. I can just picture this happening. Hope it brings a smile lilms The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is th...	lilms	4	324	Jul 24, 2007 by carolena
	I did everything wrong! (Preview) I really lost it with my AH on Friday. I had had a same day surgery procedure, which he took me to, and I slept all day on the couch recovering. When I woke up I went to the fridge to get some iced tea and what do I find but a bottle of vodka. He had promised me two weeks ago that he was quitting and would never br...	Chetch	7	482	Jul 24, 2007 by annmarie
	Long time away from this board (Preview) It must be almost 2 months since I've had time to read the posts on this board, let alone update you all on my situation with my ex A b/f My relationship with my ex has been (this may sound corny) SPECTACULAR!! As you may remember, I decided to set some rules in our relationship and those "rules"...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	1	430	Jul 24, 2007 by Barbs45
	Ah Went into Rehab (Preview) I haven't been on here in a while. But I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. My AH went into an inpatient alcohol rehab place on thursday. He will be there for a minimum of21 days. He made the decision to go. He called and got the insurance information to see if they would pay. Then he cal...	janey225	5	380	Jul 23, 2007 by canadianguy
	in a rut (Preview) I haven't been thinking too much about alanonfor a few weeks or more. I guess I just got tired of things not changing, me not changing. Another member of my AH's family died from alcohol, this one was younger then him. Her story was so paralell to his, I thought he had to think about it a little bit. but no, h...	RainyJamie	2	513	Jul 23, 2007 by QOD
	Everybody Must Get Stoned... (Preview) Just thought I'd share a funny family moment we had tonight. My AH sober called this evening to see what we had planned. I told him we were going to go swimming at a friend's house and he decided to meet us there and join us. We had a great time and he came back to the house for some blackberry crisp. The older k...	Loupiness	2	384	Jul 23, 2007 by QOD
	Anomynity (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have gone to great lengths to keep our family struggles private for a miriad of reasons - to protect my children, my AH's professional reputation, our privately owned business in this oh so small town (thus our livlihood), and as much as I hate to admit it, my pride. For these reasons, I...	Loupiness	4	468	Jul 23, 2007 by Friendofyours
	I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way... (Preview) My AH (we are seperated and I'm starting on divorce papers) was sober for 20 years but started drinking again 2 years ago. I found signs that he was cheating , I know he lied to me and our boys told me that he had to leave for the sake of our family . I found out last week that he has girlfriend, which was so hard....	tryingtoheal	10	692	Jul 23, 2007 by canadianguy
	Gaining Me Back (Preview) My older A child is in jail. I've been in a lot of pain since I found out and this is an awakening time for me. My A child is going thru a messy divorce and it was domestic violence and still is that way and there is a small child involved. My A has been drinking and using RX as I know for years and not using t...	boo	4	561	Jul 23, 2007 by boo
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