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Ok (Carolinagirl, you've already heard all this) - Here goes. I am SOOO STUPID!!! I had a collection agency call me last night. They said that my AH owed just under $8000 on a credit card amd that I was an "Authorized User" and therefore liable for it. I said I was not, that I had checked into all of this and I was only liable for joint accts, which there are none. They said I was, that I had my info wrong, that the acct was opened up in '95 , we were married during that time and I was an authorized user and liable. Then they said that they were giving me this one last chance to settle the debt or litigation would begin in the morning to take my house. I LOST IT. THIS REALLY UPSET ME AND I WAS ALREADY UPSET TO BEGIN WITH. I told them they couldn't do this, that my AH was a drug addict and I don't even get child support from him. I know they cannot legally come after me, I had done my research. They transferred me back and forth between 4 different very nasty women who all confirmed I was liable and they would take my house to settle the debt.
In the end, I did a balance transfer for just under $5000 to get it closed all out. I was threatened and coherced into this action. After thinking about it all night last night and all day today, I started doing some research AND making calls. This is what I found:
I live in VA. We are not a community state. Therefore I am NOT liable for any debts my husband incurrs UNLESS it is on a JOINT ACCOUNT! Joint Account now - not "Authorized User"! Even if I was an authorized user of that credit card, I AM NOT LIABLE for it. Even if I were the one who charged up the debt (which I am not), as an Authorized User ONLY - I am not responsible for it - HE IS.
Now I called my credit card company to see if they could stop the transfer and they are trying but cannot make any guarantees. I called the Better Business Bureau to report this activitiy AND the Federal Trade Commission regarding the Fair Debt Collection Act. It has all been officially noted. Great! Officially noted! Yippee. Woop-de-doo! Doesn't do a dang thing for me! My only hope is that my credit card company can stop it. If they cannot, I am screwed. I am stuck with that debt and there is nothing I can do about it. I just stood right up and took a speeding bullet to the chest for a crack addict! Dumb! Boy was that dumb.
Lesson to be learned here folks: Don't agree to anything without knowing the facts and your legal rights. If you have doubts, tell them you will have to run it by your lawyer first. See where that takes you. I suggest we all find out what type of state we live in. Community or not. VA is not and thank goodness for that. Just wish I had been more confident in my own knowledge last night so I could have felt like I did have the right to fight these HORRIBLE RUDE WITCHES that called me. I mean, seriously folks, I have never ever been talked to like that before. Granted they did not use bad language but the tone in their voices and the threats they were making were terrible. And they ganged up on me. I felt like a little kid being bullied for my lunch money on the play ground. It was truly a nightmare. And unfortunately, if my credit card company cannot stop the transfer - a very very expensive lesson learned the very hard way.
That is my experience w/debt collectors. I pray that none of you have to go through what I did. God bless and good luck.!!!
((((QOD)))))) I don't normally yell, but....YOU ARE NOT STUPID!!! Far from it, you are a smart, independent, and caring woman. Through this horrible experience you turned it over to us, to educate others in our rights or potential rights (depending on where you live)! As well as reporting the credit card company to officials. Those are wonderfully positive actions you have taken. I hope that the fund transfer is canceled. I myself have made some VERY costly mistakes when it came to my qualifier. More money than I care to admit, with no possibility to reverse, but they made me all the more stronger and wiser!!!
Take good care of yourself. Wishing you peace of mind.
Oh QOD, from someone who turned her head while the A drained the bank accounts (if I'd known my 'rights' a while back I could have saved thousands more than I did), I HEAR YOU.
We are easily bullied, aren't we? That is more truthful and workable than STUPID, but I hear ya there too, it's a hard one to forgive myself. More than feeling stupid anymore, I feel humbled by my own "sickness", I SEE my own sickness in black and white. Tiger2006's sponsor's words come to mind, something about owning it and dumping it.
I vow to myself not to be bullied ever again. I believe I can see it coming now. These collectors are trained to say just about anything to get their money. There are bullies everywhere. Mature individuals don't cave in to bullying, so that tells me as I grow I can trust myself to avoid this in the future.
Sure hope the credit company pulls back the payment. You can learn this lesson without a 5000 dollar debt. Let us know what you find out! Kim
I found out that you do not have to accept their calls. Tell them to send you a letter in the mail. Do not confirm any info for them. I hang up on them immediatly. They can not bully you if you refuse to speak to them. There is nothing they can do but send the letter. Then you have time to think and not just react.
Sorry this happened to you. Keep to your program. Don't beat yourself up about it. You learned a good lesson.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Remember - these people are trained and earn money intimidating people, especially people who want to do right by paying their debts. Quite frankly, you might want to investigate what they did to you - it almost sounds like extortion to me - "if you don't pay, we'll take your house - whatever" when they knew that you were NOT legally responsible for that debt. I'd be looking into some community legal aid to see if there's some pro bono legal advice you can get to address this. Damn, but this makes me so mad!!! I hate intimidating tactics, no matter who they are used on!
Just out of curiosity, I'll poke around online and see what info I can find (if I'm allowed to post it on this message board) Let me know if that's okay.
Take care, Marion
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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit ("Bidden or not bidden, God is present") - Erasmus
Call your credit card in stolen and they have to stop it right then and there. Why would you pay it anyway? They can not do anything to you. They can not put a lien on your house either. It's a load of bull. Plus, there is a seven year time period. After seven years they have to delete it from your credit....UNLESS.........you speak with them and make a verbal agreement OR, make some sort of payment. Sorry you fell into this. :(
Here's what I do when collectors call... 1 hang up the phone 2 tell them they have the wrong number 3 tell them not to call here again or I'll sue them for harrassment One of those usually works for me.
Bill collectors were calling for my A before we separated and kept right on calling here after he left. After a while, I learned their tactics. They think they're slick. The first call of the day would come from one particular phone number ( I have caller ID) and if no one answered them or responded to the message they left, they would call again from another number within 10 minutes. I quit answering the phone but it was a pain running to answer the phone only to see it was them. So finally I told them he no longer lived here, they will never find him here,do not call here again, you are harrassing me, get this number out of your computer, and then I gave them his cell number. They are paid only to call you and harrass. It's their job. They did not have the power to do anything else. I am no longer intimidated by ANYONE on the phone and I can be as nasty as they can when I want. Much easier to either hang up on them or else just lay the phone down on the table (or under a pillow! :) ) and let them talk to thin air. So now they don't call me, they call my A's phone and he has to deal with whatever. I am not part of his financial anything and am not liable for any of it. Boy, I'd be up the river without a paddle if I was. Lord only knows what kinda debt our A's may be out there getting into..........................jaja
You ARE NOT STUPID! I allowed people who make a living collecting debts..people who are trained in the art of intimidation...you allowed them to do their job. You slipped into their trap.
But you are ot stupid. You are intelligent and independent. Stand your grond. Goood li=uck. I hope you get it cancelled.!\
I keep getting collection calls... not for me, not for any family member. For my neighbor. Not really even my neighbor, but his daughter. Mostly they call when I'm not there, and never leave a message. I googled the phone number and it's for the collection arm of an auto finance company that is notorious for this kind of thing. I called them back and they asked me about my neighbor... "Do you know if she lives with them?" I said what is this in regards to, and they said "We can't disclose that information". I laughed out loud and said well I'm not disclosing anything to you either. Eff off and don't ever call me again". They hung up on me. These collectors can't really handle people who know their rights. It's not their job to inform you of your rights. Almost always when they encounter someone who is "aware", they back off.
Unsecured debt (which most credit cards are) means just that - unsecured. That means the risk is on the lender. They cannot take property or garnish wages. They technically can't lie and threaten to do so either, but it's difficult to prove and they can afford the penalties - and these tactics frequently are effictive in getting people to hand over bank account numbers or pay of other peoples' debts, etc. Theives steal because they can get away with it. If you just stand up and say begone, thief, usually they will. It may be a cliche' but it's true - the vermin that crawl in the dark can't stand the light.
When my ex and I split years ago over the affair he was having I recieved a call from " Patty". I was living in my own apt and this "patty" was calling me wanting to talk to my ex. I asked for what and she told me it was between them, not me and if he hadn't told me then he must not want me to know about her and she told me to tell him to call her and she really missed him. I LOST it. I mean I went totally balistic. She finally admitted that she was calling in reference to a debt and I told her to put her supervisior on the phone and then I went off on him. He said that it was perfectly legal to use any and all tatics to collect a debt. I had some more choice words for him. I seriously lost it that their "tatics" really almost cost me my sanity. You are NOT stupid. Just think, that is one less connection you will have to deal with as far as he is concerned. Sometimes paying for convience is the best thing. 5 grand sounds like a small price to pay to not to have to deal with him or one of his "things". Debt stinks and sometimes so do the ones they send to collect the debt....
Actually, they are not allowed to use any tactics to collect a debt. Here is a link to the Fair Trade Commission, which is a gov't agency - http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/credit/fdc.shtm . I have a feeling that if you start citing the Fair Trade Collection Act (it really does exist!) they might want to rethink their approach.
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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit ("Bidden or not bidden, God is present") - Erasmus
