The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Oh man for me its plenty. One big one is wondering what people are up to , especially my A. Being nosey wanting to know all the details, good or bad. I would sincerely like to let go of other's business, and live my own life, however I still want to know , "period"! Why ? Dont know? Another huge one for me is "expectations'. Projecting what a certain event, or what have you will turn out one way, and then being disappointed when it doesnt go as "I thought it would". I would like to just go to a function or what have you and let it be the course of events it will be, instead of expecting otherwise. Another is being jealous of what others have IE: Long lasting marriage, etc when mine failed due to alcoholism. Money enough to do things they want to do, when I have to live from pay day to pay day. I should learn to be more grateful for what I do have , and focus on that instead of what I dont have! And the sad part of all of this I know all of that,yet I have a heck of a time implying these things to my life.
What? Bad habits? Me? No, not me! I have none! LOL. Yea right! I have too many to list. I reckon I need to work on how I handle my stresses in life. I tend to take the being stressed for time out on my kids. I yell a lot at them when I feel like I am running out of time and can't get it all done. And I reckon that is another one I need to change....realizing that I don't have to do it all and get it all done. I am not SuperWoman even though I am working on my butt kicking skills at Martial Arts. LOL. Maybe I need to make a list of those bad habits and do a little work on fixing them. Thanks for posting this topic. It is a good one and leaves me examining myself and how I handle situations in my life. Something I think I need to start doing regularly. Thanks again.
I am working on letting go. When my ah comes home late, legit or not, it is not my business. Yet, I obsess over fixing it as though it were my problem. Another is putting others first to the point of not being able to get my own responsibilities done. Esp when I am doing for someone who is not holding up thier own end of the responsibilities. I am learning that it is ok to let some of my a's stuff go if he is in the frame of mind to be avoiding his responsibilities at home and so not supporting me. I don't have to make sure his laundry is done if he is avoiding helping me so I can't get all of my responsibilities taken care of.
I guess what I am saying is I need to learn how to prioritize. Sometimes I can't do it all. Esp without support from him. Does this make any sense?
Another habit I am working on is assuming that because myself or someone else has been able to do certain things occasionally that they always can. We are all human and are sometimes unable to keep up. We all do the best we can. Sometimes we do real good, and sometimes we just barely get through the day.
Thanks for this topic. It made me really stop and think.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
i'm slowly learning that i don't ALWAYS know what is best for someone else. not to give advice unless asked. and i don't have to solve everyones problems. (at times i can be such an arrogant b.tch.)
Okay - thanks Nurse Deb - Need to add to mine. I give advice too freely, even when no one asks! With the best of intentions, of course , but I know how annoyed I get when someone does that to me, so I definitely have to set that as a self-improvement goal.
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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit ("Bidden or not bidden, God is present") - Erasmus
First things first....Improve on letting go and letting God!! Myself and everything else. Make it a habit by doing it 24/7/365. Then focus on my own inventory and not anyone elses. Yesterday is gone so I restart the process today. Tomorrow if there is a tomorrow, I will practice the same thing again. Progress NOT perfection.
Oh heck, I've got the procrastination, avoidance, catastrophizing, old bad habits I am chipping at.
But yesterday I found another one that is still not so clear in my mind. I'll be outside looking around and see all this stuff that needs doing. My mental wheels start spinning . . . and spinning . . .
I don't know what to call it but "unrealistic thinking". I have a pen that needs the gate/door put up on it. Looks simple enough . . . NOT!
In other words, I believe I should be able to just knock this or that task out, bing bing bing, but in all honesty, I need help, or at least to go much, much more slowly. I relied upon the A or moreso, someone I paid to do the work. That's not an option now.
It sure triggers the old procrastination and avoidance, so I think now I have insight into how these things get rolling in the first place. Great post!
This is a good one. First of all for me is self-acceptance. I always feel what I am not instead of what I am. It is extreme...a tiny bit of it is self awareness and motivating....too much is self destructive. When my mind goes to that negative place....the behaviors that follow are not healthy ones. I want my new mantra to be "I am enough". Do I really think I am that special that I should have super human powers? lol! No one could be all that I expect myself to be and then hate my self for not being...ugh what a crazy twist. I am enough. Fifi
Human failings are always going to be with us. That is the nature of the beast we are. Expecting to rid ourselves of our very nature is unrealistic. Keep a positive attitude, your self-esteem intact, and the rest of it will follow. If it doesn't, do the best you can, and don't ask that of yourself which you cannot produce.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
, but I know how annoyed I get when someone does that to me, so I definitely have to set that as a self-improvement goal.
