The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone, I've been reading here for a few days and I just feel I need your friendship. I logged in as lonely girl, but I the ironic thing is that I don't think I've had a day to myself for at least 4 years. I have a long sad sob story just like everyone else. I feel so pathetic right now I don't even feel like typing it all out. But my A is sleeping downstairs tonight because he is made at me for being sad. So I figure I should use my "alone" time wisely and reach out. I am usually very together and can handle things, but I just feel exhausted and tired of it. The worse part is today I was not the best mom to my two beautiful young children. I am going to try to pull myself together tomorrow to do something fun with them, but there are so many other things I need to pull myself together for that today I just feel like giving up. I wish I had eneregy to tell you my story, especially because I don't know when I'll have time to write again. Plus I have a lot of questions because I know nothing about the 12 steps and everything else here. I know one thing for sure. From what I have read, I have a lot in common with all of you and you all seem like friends already.
Take your time, just glad you reached out when you could. I have three young children that are 7,6,6. I have an alcoholic husband is is supposibly sober and I too also have horror stories like all of us do. You will have a ton of support here. Keep coming back. At least you see that you were not so nice to your little one's and you can change that. Some mom's don't even care. I know I am quilty of taking things out on them now and again and I have learned to make a conscious effort to not do that anymore. MY ah is four hours away now due to his job so I am always overwhelmed. I feel your pain. ;) I hope to see you around and try to catch some of the meetings here. (((HUGS)))
Friend of yours, Thank you for replying. I was just reading some of your other posts and thinking "I'll be she will reply". I'm glad you did. I admire what I've read from you already. You are very strong. I consider myself strong as well. I am very self sufficient. Problem is my AH isn't. He is a recluse with no family and we have been together for 17 years and I feel so sorry for him. But it wears me down. I try to think positively about a good future for us and our family but then the realistic side of me says there is no way things will ever change. I recently have found "THE SECRET" and truly believe I am creating this reality with my negative thinking. But what do I know?
Please find meetings for yourself and u will not ever be lonely again . some meetings have baby sitters . call the toll free line and talk to someone about day time meetings but please get support for yourself . 1-888=4alanon toll free and international . goodluck louise
Welcome to the MIP family. Here you will find great experience, strength, hope, wisdom and humor (good for the ). When you are ready you will tell us your story. Try not to feel guilty about the children. Remember you are doing the best you can at this moment. You're a human being and can't always be the "prefect person." No one can. You are not alone in this journey of recovery. We are all right here with you. Welcom home .
Love and blessings to you and your children.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
So glad you posted and welcome to MIP. When you feel up to and ready to share more about you, you will. Just know that we are here for you and willing to share our experience, strength, and hope with you. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you and the kids.
Peace to you, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
(((((lonelygirl))))) I am so sorry you are in pain. I can completely relate to being right next to someone and feeling absolutely alone in the world. For me, reaching out to those in recovery has helped me so much! We are here for you. I know from experience that it is hard to get to face to face meetings with young kids, but have found it soooo worth the effort. A wonderful thing you can do to focus on yourself and your happiness. Some even offer daycare in my area. Welcome to MIP!!! Keep coming back.
I to feel sorry for my A. He has family but never talks to them, through the years I think I have more converstations them. I have also learned that I can't do anything about the situation and that I need to work on me. Keep coming back, it works.
Lonelygirl, I know that feeling of loneliness. Carrying the weight of someone else's addiction is very wearing on your emotions. Worrying about who you can talk to about it, what you can do to help, how to cope with all of the thoughts and feelings that race through your brain all day long. You can trust that there are people here that have shared your feelings and are happy to lend an ear.
Welcome. You are not alone ever anymore in this family. You did the right thing and you are getting help. Don't try to do this disease alone ever again. It will hunt you down, take you down(er) and try to kill you. (I have heard that sooooo often, said it myself and seen it happen.) With family you have support and security so stick around.
Steps 1. Admitted we were powerless of alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe a Power greather than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. 4. Made a searching and fearless, moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever it was possible, except when to do so would injure them, or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promply admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowlege of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and to practice these principals in all our affairs.
Those are our twelve steps and before you attempt to work them there are some additional suggestions. Get to as many Al-Anon Family Group meetings as you can over the next 90 days. Sit and with an open mind listen to others in the room. If given the chance share your story, what brought you to the rooms of Al-Anon. Get as many telephone numbers of members who are willing to give it to you as you can and as much literature about the disease of alcoholism as you can and read/use it. Reach out to others in your meetings and area for support and help and then consider asking someone with solid recovery to be your sponsor.
That is a tall order for now. You didn't get where you are right now overnight and you won't get out of it overnight either. Take your time. We have slogans that are little miracles..."Easy does it", "Let go and let God", "This too will pass", "First things first", "Think!!", "When in doubt...don't!!", "Don't react!!" "Detach". There is more....much more and then you have time to do it and it will give you a life beyond your wildest dreams.
Hey lonelygirl, I'm new to this site too, but already it has helped me so much to just read the other posts and to see how I'm not alone. I tend to think that I must be the only one going through these things...funny thing though is that since I found this board...I've reached out to people around me in my daily life...and found that at least one other person went through similar issues when she was younger with her current husband...and she's turned into a great resource of emotional support for me.
Don't beat yourself up too much about not being in top form for the kids today...everybody gets sad occasionally even those who don't have an A in their lives. I think it would unrealistic to expect yourself to always be in top form and cheery...All you can do is try to get through each day one day at a time the best you can. And the very fact that you noticed it and want to change that....well, I think thats a really great step in the right direction....
). When you are ready you will tell us your story. Try not to feel guilty about the children. Remember you are doing the best you can at this moment. You're a human being and can't always be the "prefect person." No one can. You are not alone in this journey of recovery. We are all right here with you. Welcom home 
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