The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last night I decided to join a date line on the internet. Curious I guess. Well a guy sent me and e.mail, and we got talking. He lives only 30 miles away from me. We got on to msn. Today he sent me an Instant message, and we spoke for two hours. We talked about our lives, and we had a laugh. We seem to get on well together, and it was really nice......(Im aware of internet stuff).
IS this normal, as I am trying to move on from the A in my life. I have not been involved with anyone other than him in the last seven years.
What if, we get on well and arrange to meet?
I'm not looking for anything, relationship, sexual or otherwise..
Am I doing this because I want to, or could it be as a distraction or quick fix, to stop me thinking about the A.
I actually feel happy, and am looking forward to speaking with him again..
Maybe the the time is right now, for Ally's life to start for "Her"..
Well, I know this is putting the cart before the horse, so to speak, but my oldest sis met and married a man she met thru a dating service. They were married 14 years on Feb. 14! I don't know if they have the perfect marriage or not, but they seem awful happy together, never complain about the other, enjoy each other's company, etc. My Mom about had a COW when my sis contacted the dating service, but she was a divorced school teacher with 2 kids, and couldn't meet anyone worth anything. Didn't want to go to bars, imagine that!?!?! LOL Anyway, good luck, Ally. We all need friends, male, female, whatever. You are a big girl and know the cautions to take. You go, you nutjob! Love in Recovery, Becky1
Ally when are u gonna figure out that nothing we do is *normal * , who cares have fun go slow and enjoy . sure as hell beats waiting to see if someone is going to notice your alive or not . doncha think ? But f the guy shows up with a overnite bag on your first date , get the hell outta there he is either an A or in training . hehe Old joke but one to keep in mind is , if on the 3 rd date he is ready to move in , get outta there fast . Louise
I would be VERY careful though. No problem in meeting in a public place just don't fall into the trap of getting too drunk, or giving too much info, ect. Just be smart. Let us know how it goes. When I tried the online dating thing I got hit on by alot of really old men and sicko's. lol, none of that for me. I already own one of those ;)
you don't need permission or justification. in truth, we all end up doing what we want to do, or resenting/regretting what we didn't. keeping your physical safety in mind, go explore!!!! and remember, we need to run from red flags, no matter what/how we think they could change. there are plenty 'o fish in your sea, and you're a sweet, kind good look'in lassy. let it be an adventure -- get fishing!!!
love you cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
What is important is what you think! You already have the answers inside you about what is going on. Some thinking internet dating is okay. What is your experience with it? Would you have rather made the contact another way? I like the way you project into the future. I was and can be at times and on purpose the best projector in my neighborhood. Some people call it fantasizing and some people do it for real. I use to live on nothing else other than compulsions and the only gratitude I have about that is that it eventually led me into the doors of Al-Anon. Of course the gateway was the compulsion to find and fix someone who seemed more broken than me. Was there such a person? Honestly, after reaching this program I found that there were more unattached piece about me than I could count. I am wary about how I make my choices and use my thinker. I have such a history with compulsion that I have to do thing on purpose rather than because it makes me feel good for the moment. My alcoholic made me feel good for the moment and the one before her and all the others in between. When I "spare of the moment" the consequences always choke me.
Anyhow check your gut out for the answers and take your time. It's your life. And I learned that if I was still trying to move on from my alcoholic wife after several years of separation...she was still in my life.
Go and have fun. You're an adult and can make responsible choices. One rule of thumb that my girlfriends and always had was: if you need a way out, make a phone call. In the days before cell phones (yes, I'm old) I would excuse myself and tell him I needed to make a phone call to check on my sister or niece because they were sick. I called my friend (whom I arranged before meeting the guy) and it would give me an excuse to leave without hurting his feelings. It's also a safety thing. No matter what I would call and let them know where I was. I would always take separate cars.
This online thing is so common these days. Ten years ago, I a colleague of mine met his now wife online. One lived in Canada, the other in the states. I thought he was crazy. But hey, they are still married.
Love and blessings to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Truly, as long as you are safe, go out for a freakin' cup of coffee. Decaf, if you must, but just enjoy the company (in a public place) of another adult who probably won't show up with any expectations or preconceived ideas about you. Breathe in the freedom!
Take care, Marion
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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit ("Bidden or not bidden, God is present") - Erasmus
