The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good Morning Everyone, I have been reading on this board a few times everyday and even replying to some of the post that really touched home with me. My problem is that I want so much to share and get some of this wonderful feedback that I see offered, but getting from my head to my mouth or rather fingers is a problem. It seems like everything that I feel is stuck inside and won't come out. My husband is really into his program and has a year clean time. I look at myself and see six years of hit and miss recovery. I was the one who had it all together. Now I am the one falling behind. I want to very much work on myself but there seems to be a road block that I can't put my finger on.
Well, first things first...You have been reading and replying to posts, and thats a start.... Just "Take it easy"..We have a long long memory of troubles inside us, and they will surface only when you are ready to deal with them.....
Im sure we all kept coming here and not posting, some people still don't....It's not easy to open up the "box of wounds", and once you open it, there is no going back.....
My words to you are...This is a brilliant programme, we work it at our OWN pace, we listen to others, we share our own, experience, strength & hope....
One day something you read will just hit you, and BOY, those fingers wont stop....lol And when that happens, NEVER, be afraid to share whats in your heart with us....
We are from many different places in the world, but we all have one thing in common, we are, or have been affected by an Addict in our lives......
ME....They can't get me to shut up on here...lol..
Welcome to Mip. And keep coming back...
Your Friend In Recovery
Ally Girl....
p.s...We also have a chatroom which is open 24/7. Come along and join us..
Good news though, you can get back on track. Ya know what I would like to share that helped me? Try journaling or keeping a diary. When things feel hard look back in your journal and see what is triggering you. What is it that's bothering you? Are you falling behind physically? Emotionally? Are you not trusting him? If you could be a bit more on the mark maybe we could help. I know for me "getting on track" was getting myself physically where I wanted to be. To be honest, I was fat and unhappy. Losing weight for me got me moving to start accepting what I deserved because I didn't see it before. Once I did that, I had to detach from him. It's the only way I could focus more on me, me, me and OMG that felt great because I had no idea where I had gone. I got into my church and kept going to stay on a positive focus...that kept a fire under my butt to keep going. Ihad to get out of the slump. I quit argueing with him, I just quit. lol I have had enough of trying to be his savior for eight years it was time to be my own savior. He had to work his own program and it was up to me to work mine. So that's my ESH. Please keep coming back, you did just fine typing what you feel. :) (((HUGS))))
Hi... I think, from my experience, when our A's finally choose sobriety, it is one of the most confusing and difficult times for us (yes, even tougher sometimes than when they were drinking - at least we KNEW why things were chaotic at that time!).
At the risk of playing "amateur psychologist" here, I thought I'd offer you an exercise that worked well for me in my recovery, and was given to me at a wonderful self-awareness course that I attended....
Write down (mostly one-word) answers to the following questions:
1. What keeps me from people? 2. What keeps people from me? 3. What stops me from choosing recovery? 4. What gets in the way of my spirituality? (with spirituality here defined as "relationship with self)
When you write down honest answers to these, it can be a big help in focussing exactly what you need to work on..... these tend to be the "blocks" that are preventing us from moving forward, and the first step is recognizing them in ourselves..... I had many such blocks (anger, arrogance, pride, etc) that was keeping me from getting myself better, and it's been a slow but rewarding process....
Hope that helps, and it gives you some food for thought....
Take care Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
You really were me. I am fat and unhappy in general. I have also kept saying that I what to get back involved with church but have yet to even go. It doesn't help that I haven't got a thing that fits me to wear and money is really tight so shopping is not a option for a couple of weeks. But, first things first, I need to get motorvated to get off by big butt and and out of the bed. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I see there is someone who really has felt my pain. God bless you!
You hit on to someting. I am one of those who wants it NOW. I know I didn't get this crazy in one day so to recover in one day makes no sense either. Thanks for the encouragement. I will keep comming back if only to read others posts because that where the good stuff is!Have a blessed day.
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