The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I got seriously overloaded, tired, panicked and tired on the weekend. I am on a new tack. Camping out, making do and letting myself rest. Tonigth I have to go to the new place and do what I can. I just keep turning it over. I got some serious rest last night the first time for days. I know th encounter I had on the weekend with the A drained me. He was supposed to come help me but as usual I am last on the list. This time I will do it without him. I do not need to beg anymore. I am done with that.
I did want him to help me transition the dog to the new place. He doesnt' want to. I can't make him.
So tonight and really for the rest of the week its about doing the best I can, no beating myself up, no hurry up, no great tall orders of what I can and can't do. I have a plan. I want to stick to it. I no longer feel overwhelmed by the plan. I have a lot to do but I hsve time to do it. I can camp out for a few days. Things do not have to be perfect. I can pick up my stuff from storage when i can, how I can. I do not need to paint myself in a corner over this.
"Pacing is everything"- thanks for the inspiration. needed that.
I am always on overload. I have to force myself to slow down sometimes too. Like this past weekend......Saturday was a crazy day full of Martial Arts stuff. Sunday was my day at the house. I had to cut my grass, clean my house, do laundry, wash my car & vaccum it. But all I got done was the grass. I actually had a little stomach bug that made me feel horrible for most of the day and after working in the yard, I felt much worse. I grilled burgers for the kids for dinner and gave up on the rest of my list.
Pacing ourselves is so important and something many of us have a problem with. I feel like I am running full throttle 24/7 and it is exhausting. Time to take a deep breath and relax for a bit.
For whatever reason (I can't fathom why) the A wants me at full throttle excess. I refuse to go there anymore. I know what it does to me. I almost lost my health over the stress of what he has put me through. I will not go there anymore. I will just have to take longer to get settled but I will get settled. In the meantime I can camp.
