Had a car accident yesterday. Was in the middle of a sandwich--got hit from behind, which meant I hit a lady in front of me, which meant my head hit the steering wheel. Everyone--the guy that hit the guy behind me; the guy that hit me; the lady I hit;--left the scene.  Well, lemme correct myself: they left the scene when I refused to compromise the notion that we needed to file police reports and exchange insurance info, especially when the lady I hit said she didn't have insurance info.  I wrote down the plates, and the mere notion of calling the police made me the bad guy.  O! Silly me! Being responsible again! so, after every1 takes off and leaves me there, I fight with my cell phone network to find the police, who suggest, just for the sake of safety since I'm wiping water and other stuff outta my nose that talking to EMS might be a good idea. This is one of my old buttons: I'm getting embarassed at how much attn I'm getting. I wanted attn. I needed it. I didn't want you to give me so much that it involved sirens and lights. Is there a boundry line here? Or is there a way to soothe myself into realizing that, this is a good time to have, oh, ems make a fuss? (ESH point, please!)
 EMS shows up, and they're pretty optimistic. But concerned all teh same. I'm feeling sick to my stomach. Head hurts like OMG, ditto for my neck and my nose is a mess. Yeah, they say, they would recommend I go. By this time someone's called dad () who says (my father, proving once again that he CAN HAVE HEALTHY BOUNDRIES!) "If you go to Kettering, I can meet you there as soon as I finish with work," and so I agree. I thought he was gonna meet me there, like, Now. Not so much  But he did stick to his boundry. So I go, C coller on, taped to a back board, into Kettering. The staff were cool. I mean, I'm not a bleeder, so they're not flipping out, but at the same time, they were cool
 The Xrays show nothing. I'm clear and "normal." They told me it was gonna hurt today, and scale of 1-10, it's like a 6. My nose is itching like nothing, but I didn't need stiches or nothing. My neck feels like it needs someone to pull it like 6 feet for it to be restored to its formal self. My head *knock on wood* is ok.
 So, my dad, *again, SHOWING HE CAN ACT LIKE AN ADULT! GOD! I so hate this disease!*, had my car towed into the car dealership (here's today's laugh track: I was actually on my way to the dealership to get my car for it's 3,000 when I got hit~ Laugh! Laugh!  C'mon every1~laugh now!) not only had it towed in, but also had the car set up for it's 3,000 mi while I was in the ER.    I told my dad, going in, that I was willing to pay for half of the repairs on my car--I fully expected it to come to about, oh, $1,000, so no more than $500.   He ordered almost $1500-$2,000 worth of repairs. "I can't pay for that!" I told the tech, who's known me for....5+(?) years.  Calmly, lovingly, like the big brother I never had, said "I knew that he was ordering a lot of repairs you didn't want. Do you want to go through the bill and pay for what you can pay for?" I took a deep breath--oh *THANK GOD FOR AL ANON!!* "That sounds like a great idea. Let's do that." I agreed to pay $200. at this point. Given that, in the opinion of the dealership, who sold the car to my mom, who then gave the car to me, and who has repaired the car for forever, that there were no "significant or necessary mechanical repairs from the accident in question, and any concerns of late were primarily cosmetic" (), the tech explained that the repairs were not necessarily, although very thoughtful of my father.
 So I called my father. I told him "I will pay $200 of the bill..." Since then he's launched into his usual threats, name calling derision and humilation, Finally I just said "I can't talk to you when you're like this. We'll talk later."
 I just wanted to blow off steam I guess. It's so weird and it hurts so much, but the great thing (and I know this sounds bizarre, but it makes sense to al anon people ) is it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. I'm really seeing that my fahter's disease is out of this world. Just out of this universe--it's the thing that held me responsible for his mistakes, blamed me for his actions, and is currently saying "I ordered $2,000 worth of unecessary car repairs, and, even though you don't have the money, you have to clean up my mess." Uh, excuse me? Not so much. The good news is, too, I can see that this is dad. Dad's not gonna change until dad has a darn good reason to, and that's not gonna be me gettin all up in his stuff over car repairs.
 I'm showing myself--and this is the best news--I'm competent. When I was on the phone with insurance--and I didnt want to call them, god knows, it took my home group al anon to help me name the "dark side feelings" of shame, hurt and self hatred that gave me the courage to call them and tell my story (AGAIN!) they asked me if I wanted the "cosmetic repairs." And, I swear I didn't rehearse this, I said, "In the opinion of the dealership mechanics, the necessary repairs are not critical to the functioning of the car and are more cosmetic than anything. Would your offer have significant bearing on the premium?" "No ma'am it wouldn't" "Then I thank you for your offer but I decline." I have NO IDEA where that came from. Professional?! Polite?! Competent?! All the things my parents said I COULD NEVER BE<!!<!<!< And I was!!! OMG Guys I did it!!!! And even better--my insurance company has it on electronic recording! HA!
 Thanks so much guys. I really appreciate it.